I like
to fart on my hand while in the shower.

Then smell my hand.
(Mr. Partyhat, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:42, Reply)

Do Gooders!
I love playing with peoples natural Christian spirit.

There used to be an old couple in my village who me and my mate used to see going around with a carrier bag fastidiuosly picking up every bit of litter they came accors in the hedgerow etc.

We used to take great delight in getting ahead of them and dropping as much litter as we could from our resources.

What was more fun was that we could actually dictate their route by dropping a litter trial of our chosing. We were sort of Pied Pipers of Scumlin.

To top it off, they loved us, and always stopped for a chat with us, as we beamed up out angelic smiles to them.

They were probably paedos mind you.
(Lordy, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:37, Reply)

I talk to myself
Actually, I do this when other people are around too. Just random snippets of whatever I am thinking about.
And I also like to stare at passers by, make up stories about them (not out loud) and then laugh loudly (out loud)
I have no inner monologue it seems...
(bulleybeef, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:30, Reply)

Ski stroking
Whenever I go skiing, I have this urge to stroke any hideous all-in-one luminous suits that the French still like wearing. Extra points too for bumbag/wacky hat and the ultimate, The Mono Skier. Pretending to bump into people whilst queuing or chasing people down the mountain, its ultimate in fun and satisfaction.
Vive le Monoski!
( -:Coop:-, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:30, Reply)

A sad, sad man...
My girlfriend dated a few not-so-famous football players before we'd met. After finding out who they were (and I still do this to this day) I bought them on a certain football manager game, never played them, never paid them and fired them for no apparent reason - feel so good!
(josephus42, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:23, Reply)

More Tube Madness
If I'm on an empty tube train I do pull ups on the hand bars, or run along the carriage singing 'Singing in the rain' or scream as loud as I can. because nobody can hear me. i hope.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:12, Reply)

b3ta
Subject line says it all.
(Kaer, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 10:00, Reply)

butt crack pubic hair
I enjoy plucking the hair that grows above my arse hole between my butt cheeks. I like the dull pain and the joy that I'm hairless. Now that its gone I can't wait for it to grow back.
(yumyums, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 6:27, Reply)

I present my life
in my head. Especially when I'm making food or doing the housework. It's more exciting when you imagine you're on the telly.

'And now all you need to do is add the water to the noodles and hey presto!'...
(b3tasux, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 5:51, Reply)

When no one is about
I sing to the cat.
Specifically: pop-songs re-written for psycho-kitty Millie, as in:
"She's a Millie,
a dime for a dozen kitty-cat,
(dime-for-a-dozen-cat!)
why would I lie about that?
She's just a kitty-cat!"
(to The Tubes' "She's A Beauty")
(Somerreign, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 1:55, Reply)

this i actually do when there are other people around...
listening to music on my personal stereo and lipsynching as i walk down the street, pretending i'm in a music video

*reads further* just like evil beetle below!
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 1:55, Reply)

I like to
wind people up so much that they splutter :oD It's great to find someone who is really laid back about it, and laughs cuz then I know I have found a friend.

I also like to sing in the shower, eat every last bit of the apple (yes the core), talk to myself, and scratch my bum.
(fishyfishyfishyooooooh, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 1:20, Reply)

I like teletext music
Whenever I hear it, I leave it on for ages and just listen or maybe read and have it as background music.
( Brown cow, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 1:18, Reply)

Haven't seen this one yet..
So thought I'd post it.
I live on the top floor of a 3 storey house seperated into flats. Outside our door is the railing overlooking the downstairs weirdos.
To add to their living experience, I have fun sometimes knocking one off through the bannister railings and listening to it plop on the floor 3 storeys below.
It adds to the experience if they come walking out of their flat just as I'm pulling up to the Billy Mill Roundabout, so to speak... :D
(phookoo, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 1:12, Reply)

i enjoy
picking everything possible off my feet, hands, nails, nose and scalp and am constantly making myself bleed then picking the scabs a day later. Don't eat any of it though but it's nice to see i'm not alone :)

I also try to summon things to me with the word Accio! (Think Harry Potter) Funnily there's always a brief moment when i think it might actually work.

Accio Wine!

EDiT
I also enjoy pretending in my head that I'm in a music video when I'm bored. Like today I was getting my hair washed at the sinks in the hairdressers and staring at the ceiling when I had this image of a camera looking down at me as I sang to it while people got their hair washed around me in fast-forwarded music video motion.
(evil_beetle, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 0:50, Reply)

...
Fun with my '74 MG Midget which looks small and cute, but roars and speeds like a beast...

- Pulling up at lights and idling low, where there's lots of people waiting to cross, watching the older peeps give the car a few nice admiring the 'beautiful car', then revving the car right up to 4-5000 revs and making people jump out of their skin
- Taking up the endless 'speed challenges' from stupid chav boy racers at lights which are close to a speed camera, beating them to up to 30, then stop accelerating once I get to thirty (the limit) and watching them whizz up to 50 mph and get flashed by a speed camera 5 seconds later. Brilliant.
- When people try to emerge from side roads, slow down as if I'm giving them way, but then suddenly accelerate as they try and pull out onto the road i'm on. They usually look quite scared and reverse back quickly......
- Tailgating paranoid drivers and then pretending that I'm going to over take then on TINY corners where only one car will blatantly fit round.

Thinking about all that.. I'm one hellishly big bastard of a driver, but I must emphasise, that I only do this to businessmen twat types.

Speaking of which, when I owned a renault megane, which was rather bumpered up, I used to bump park any cars I didn't like the look of - generally excecutive saloons and 4 by 4s. Was always fun to see if i could literally 'force' my car out of a spot, even if it meant scraping the car in front.

more things...

- Staring at people on a bus as it waits at a stop, giving them REALLY accusing stares, knowing you won't see them again. That freaks them quite a bit...
- Running up the stairs on all fours is ACE
- Seeing how many stairs I can jump down at a time....
- Stealing cups from the kitchen which belong to other peoples offices at work, and leaving them in the sink dirty. they must get very confused.
- Re-arranging people kitchen cupboards so they can't find stuff...
- Going to sandwich shops, asking for loads of stuff then 'changing my mind' last minute

That'll do, for now
( FinestLittleSpace, Thu 14 Apr 2005, 0:44, Reply)

Microsoft
I like to order free trial CD's from microsoft. I have got free full versions of outlook and frontpage from them; but I dont use them I am an XHTML J0ck and use gmail.

Edit:I also like going around on counter-strike with a TMP and shooting cillit Bang Bang Bang everytime I shoot.
Edit:I also like to get out of the shower to have a poo and then go back in.(don't have a clue why).
(as1232004, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 23:30, Reply)

Feeding
my cat various morsels of food just to see what he'll eat. I found that he will eat anything, bar lemons and apples.

I also enjoy dancing like a spaz in my kitchen whilst singing Copacobana to myself. It only occured to me the other day that those in the house opposite can see my spaz antics from their living room. Oh well.
( Fictional Emma, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 23:12, Reply)

Eating golden syrup with a spoon straight from the tin

maybe i'm pregnant

bugger
(MyrtleTheTurtle, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 23:11, Reply)

In the bath
i like to make sure i secrete every bodily fluid i can think of into the water before asking the others in my house whether they would like my water...

sick, but makes me laugh every time...
(Arse Biscuits The question is not who, but why?, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 22:15, Reply)

Pigeons
I still like to scare the occasional pigeon, although someone I know is far worse. I got called a Twat by a passer-by for stepping forward quickly at one once...
(Pigmash, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 21:53, Reply)

beeping my horn..................
I used to work shifts and periodically pikies would camp out at the side of the road on my way home, it was either early in the morning or late at night when i came home so i would take great pleasure in beeping my horn to wake baby/ get the dog barking in order to wake up the rest of the theving gypsy scumbags, even better was when thery were camped out near a roundabout then i would go round twice with the horn sounding :)
( kenyan dave, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 21:47, Reply)

My Turn
I pick and eat the hard kin off my feet. And my toenails. And anything else that looks like it might come off. I really like the taste of blood as well, (only my own.....so far). Unfortunately, I havd 4 upper canines, which led to certain rumours when my mates learnt both. Bum. Oh and I do the Ben Kenobi thing at doors as well. AND going up stairs on all fours. Oh, and there seems to be a lot of really screwwy people here. Its great. I think that it for now.
(Therealzan, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 21:28, Reply)

looking at old people on the bus
...and trying to figure out what they looked like before senescence occurred and withered their looks! try it one day. its great fun!

*ahem*
(TruckfulsOfWoo, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 20:51, Reply)

I eat whole iceberg lettuces
like they are apples. Then poo a lot, naturally.

Ah, and also, watching bad situation comedies. But only on my own, when I'm with people I feel I need to both deride the show, and stick up for it for all the guilty pleasure it has given me in the past.
( dotmund .co.uk, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 20:44, Reply)

Getting Rid of the Pub Bore
There's a guy in my local who thinks it's his mission in life to bore the pants off of everyone who walks through the door. So everytime he starts talking to me, I develop a really violent nervous twitch...and if he doesn't f*** off the twitch then develops a funny 'humming' sound effect.

So far, his record is 3 minutes, mine's 20 seconds!
(Sponge Bob, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 20:14, Reply)

I know a biology joke...
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the worm?
Because it was the early bird.

I pretend to think it's geeky and sad, but secretly I giggle on the inside.
(Squash, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 19:29, Reply)

Jedis
Walking up to automatic doors and making a little Ben Kenobi hand movement in perfect synchronisation with the doors opening.

Just me?

*blush*

Certainly not. I do that all the time. Gets me some dodgy looks!
(sky blue sam, Wed 13 Apr 2005, 18:54, Reply)