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This is a question Guilty Pleasures

You know, those little things you do when nobody else is around. OK so some of them are rude, but we reckon there are a whole lot more innocent ones out there: my g/f this morning admitted to climbing the stairs on all fours when I wasn't around, and loving it...

(, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 9:11)
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cracking bones
theres not a feeling like it in the world ever, especially the neck and back

and getting my fish drunk

i have no life
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 13:44, Reply)
robot dancing

in the mirror.

oh, and to mr. the evil muffin in a top hat below, given your penchant for perfection and pedancy, i thought you might like to know that you've spelt favourite incorrectly in that very sentence. ouch.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 13:42, Reply)
feeling superior
because after reading last weeks QOTW I am leauges ahead of most ppl in knowladge of econmics, politics, biology and science.

allthough i do need to brush up on my chavology
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 13:40, Reply)
Lotsa stuff
I's scary how many I have. Never really thought about it...

1) Sniffing things... My fingers after a good scratch of my arse or down there or my armpit, fit girls in crowds/as they walk past, even my shoes though they are vile.

2) Squeezing spots

3) Picking my nose and eating it. Don't we all?

4) Resting my hand idly on my balls when on the computer

5) Pissing in the shower/bath/sink or in swimming pools

6) Dancing madly to really loud music when on my own

7) walking round the house naked when on my own of course, but that isn't very often

8) Feeling superior to people when I know I'm cleverer than them, and correcting their mistakes. Correcting people who criticise my "pedancy" is my faviourite :D. I also like being a perfectionist when it comes to spelling/grammar etc.

9) "Accidentally" touching girls arses as they walk past or in crowds. And saying "I want to fuck you" or words to that effect in my head when with hot girls.

10) Climbing the stairs on all fours :D I've been doing that all my life... gets some odd looks at school...

11) Pulling out my hair (head hair) :P

12) Farting in bed or in the bath, then deliberately smelling it... mmm

13) Peeling off dried PVA from my hands... A lot of people seem to have said that but I don't care

14) Picturing killing people I'm talking to... usually with a massive pickaxe in the head... so stress relieving.

15) Masturbating with other people around

16) And of course... Reading B3ta when I should be revising/doing coursework/working.

17) making a really long post even though I don't really have anything original to say... and then not apologising... bwahahaha

EDIT: geolokk: :( It's a typo... honest. But I'll leave it in for the benefit of people reading this. You in turn might like to be alerted to the fact that it's "pedantry" not "pedancy"... the very mistake to which the sentence pertains. I hope that was deliberate. :)
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:57, Reply)
in wetsuits - fabulous

(thanks for the reminder)
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:51, Reply)
Bathing in Piss
Someone just reminded me - during my 1st time living in London, our tossbag of an antisocial housemate shouted at Mrs N for no reason. He shat himself & threatened to call the police when I advised that if he did it again I would punch his fucking head in. So instead of violently harming him, I just pissed in his shower gel. Daily. For 6 months. I was always 1st in the shower so he always got a good douching in my piss. I also wanked in it once too. It's a good feeling.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:41, Reply)
After an ace night
with lady friend, when things have run smoothly and I've 'got some' so to speak, I've had the sudden impulse to do the "happy happy joy joy" dance when I get out of her front door on a number of occassions.
Little did I know she has one of those bloody spyhole things...

Anyways it's still goin good and she hasnt had me sectioned, I think this one's a keeper...

I also have this weird thing about gals' hair being out of place, and occassionally, when I've thunk I could get away with it, I've corrected sticky-uppy/out of place bits of hair belonging complete random strangers on the bus

Yes that's right, I LIKE TO LIVE "ON THE EDGE"!!!!

(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:27, Reply)
YOUR mum.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:25, Reply)
pushing the skin on my dogs muzzle, towards his forehead. It pulls his nose up exposing his front teeth and fangs. Hilarious.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:24, Reply)
The Fascinating Art Of Doming
A friend and I take great pleasure from doming things.

Doming for the uninitiated is the rubbing of ones bell end onto things (note: other peoples things). This must be done in secret for the best results.

It is not done for any sexual thrills however, its just the secret of knowing someone may be putting their face where your cock was. (I know it is disgusting, but I bet someone here has done it)

Doming Targets

Hand Towels -
Pillows -
Clothes you try on in shops and don't want
(Especially clothes you try on in shops and don't want)
Extra points if you can dome clothes in shops when they are still on the rail
Pen tops.

We have developed doming into quite a sport, and practice at fairly regular intervals.

It is usually reserved for people that have annoyed you or not looked after you properly (if you stay at their house).

My girlfriend has been know to do a bit of vaging too.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:16, Reply)
Simple Things
Trying to hold my breath between cars coming the other way on the drive to and from work, or only blinking when a car goes past.

Talking absolute garbage to myself in strange accents (Scottish, Irish, 'Sith Ifrican' and Aussie being my favourites)

Trying to remember where Ive seen that bloke in that film from before, and it really getting on my nerves until I remember.

Quoting annoying phrases from TV or adverts to anyone who wont listen

Pretend im playing cricket ALL the time. Use any object as a bat and practice my cover drive, or break into a jog and bowl an imaginary ball.

Try to make it to the top of the stairs before the door on a return spring closes behind me.

Try to carry a song on as I drive through a tunnel, and see how far out I am on the other side.

Pulling stupid, ugly faces ever time I walk past a mirror.

Giving myself various hairstyles when finished in the shower - Mohawk, geeky side parting, 'dwayne dibley', Greasy Italian.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 12:09, Reply)
...and some more
I sometimes spend whole days hiding under my desk with my computer pretending there's some kind of nuclear holocaust and its the only way I can survive.

I love picking my scabs and showing my scars really obviously in public just to freak people out.
Yes, I am one sick girl.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:57, Reply)
Poo time entertainment
I love taking my mobile with me so I can play games on it while taking a dump

the classic Nokia "Snake" fulfilled my needs until I got so good at it I had to cut games short as I was spending far too much time on the crapper and in danger of developping piles.

my new phone's game is Qbert - "$&*!!?" fantastic.

i'm off for one now actually...
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:45, Reply)
Ha, I feel no guilt!
De-icing the freezer compartments of fridges once they've got really iced up - using a knife to hack off huge chunks of ice.
Soooo satisfying, way better than sex.

Eating meat - supposedly a v strict vegetarian, but I eat bacon sandwiches in the privacy of my room on a daily basis.

Singing along to Jamelia - kinda wrecks my rock chic image.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:44, Reply)
a few,,,
I like to make sure i always have a little pad of paper and a pen with me so if i see someone interesting on a packed tube or bus I can slip a note into their pocket...has to be pre-written as theres never time to write it on the spot so I like to write one like 'Nice hat' then spend the rest of my time trying to find someone worthy of that.

Every time I'm on a plane I cannot help making up a fake life. So far I've been in cirque de soleil, a nurse for mentally disturbed people, a call girl and Ronnie Corbetts ex P.a., that one was only for the benefit of the old lady sitting next to me reading an article about him though.

And also, setting up my bed with every single remote, the biggest drink and plate of nibbles ever, a million books and magazines and seeing how long I can stay there in blissful happiness. The toilet usually wins that game.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:42, Reply)
I have many...
I blow my nose far too often

I also pick my nose as I hate not having a clean nose

Picking at spots, on myself and my girlfriend, so satisfying

Shitting with the door open, very liberating

I clean my teeth 3-4 times a day, I love clean teeth!

Can't go to sleep untill I have either had, or at least tried to force out a shit. I also shit about 3-4 times a day

Wasting time here, whilst I should be writing my dissertation

Blowing my nose into my hands in the shower

Chewing the paper that muffins, or fairy cakes come in, getting all the cakey goodness from them

Cleaning the house when noone else is around, for a quiet sense of pride

Picking scabs, especially ones from a motorbike accident I had in September, they still haven't healed, I'm quite concerned really...

Despite having a regular and satisfiying sex life, I try and get a wank in on most days, sometimes two. I probably average about 9 a week

I clean my ears out with cotten buds almost every day, even though I know it is bad for me

I make jelly, very often

I sometimes lie to people to make out I have more work to do than I actually do

I like to make tea out of the pot sometimes, even if its just for me. I normally only do this when noone else is around for some reason

I listen to some very odd music; and when alone, at very high volumes with optional singing/dancing

I like to wake the hamster up in the middle of the day, just to watch it yawn, so cute!

Pouring over technical details of new and exciting motorbikes, only to recite the highlights later to people who don't care

I always try to have the last word in an arguement, even if it is under my breath, or soemthing like "Yeah, well, Your Mum!"

I occasionally turn Google Safe Search off

I think thats about it, time for a shit now....
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:26, Reply)
The shame
Listening to Celine Dion, and singing along.

And loving it!
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:13, Reply)
I made a few hardcore
FAKES of girls i know ... i guess thats all i have to say ...
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:11, Reply)
try it yourselves later!
i love it when folk get new watches or mobile phones, and the screens or faces or whatever have that nice elasticy placstic stuff on them. i peel it off, under the pretence of being helpful and subtley hide it in my pocket for later consumption. there's nothing that makes me happier than eating it later on, you can chew it for hours...
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 11:08, Reply)
Bad bad bad boy!
Still having a cd rom full of very rude pictures and a vid of my ex who I do not talk to at all after a bitter split. Thing is the pics still get me more aroused than current partner....I am bad arnt I
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:31, Reply)
...in my housemate's bathwater.
Not now, you understand, but a while back, when he was getting on my tits. The fella spent a fortune on all sorts of girly-lard and poncey pongs. Oh, the delicious irony of him bathing in piss....

Still makes me actually laugh out loud, even now!
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:29, Reply)
Pay Day Guilty Pleasure
I love going to the ATM on payday, and drawing out whatever I need, safe in the knowledge I've done fuck all to earn my wages.

I like to think of it as 'sticking it to the man'

Woo Yay me on my first post :0)
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:26, Reply)
wrong but fun
When I used to work on a deli and fish counter for sainsbury's years ago I used to take great pleasure from greasing the aisles in front of me with ham fat and then watch people fall over or, if the store was really busy take a bit of fish roe (slimy gut stuff) and then chuck into an aisle when no one was looking. the screams people make when unsuspectingly hit by fish guts is marvellous. Would have to hide afterwards though... All of this was before us Brits started this whole blame and sue culture...
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:23, Reply)
and playing my guitar in front of the mirrow just before I go on a sesh.

Constantly belittling my colleague behind his back to other colleagues - but he is a tosspot!

I imagine bedding every woman I meet - even if they're hippocroccopigs
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:13, Reply)
I love it.

Absolutely anything to do with war like war films, war computer games, books about war, war games, little toy soldiers, just gets me excited in an extremely geeky way. Remember "Time Commanders"? My favourite programme when it was on. Says it all really. Sometimes I lie in bed thinking about war. I have come home from the pub on a Friday night and gone straight on the internet to read about Greek phalanxes ALL NIGHT.

I am really quite ashamed of this.

p.s. not real war (except in olden days cos then it's OK).

p.p.s. But it's so bastard COOL!
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:13, Reply)
A few i have..
I love scratching my arse, smelling my finger and then saying to myself " i love the smell of
drugs in the morning"

trying to beat the flush finishing while having a pee.

Looking at every woman i see and mentally going "i'd cock it" if it rates above 1 on the frisky scale.

while sitting on sofa,i have to have a shoe or a sock dangling from my toes.

Seperating the peanut from the chocolate - lasts twice as long.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 10:13, Reply)
remember that scene from breakfast club where Molly Ringwald puts her lipstick on. I can do that. And sometimes, I do :D
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 6:12, Reply)
I've got quite a few
but then I actually have OCD, so I guess that's cheating.

Picking caulk off bathtubs.

Moving stuff around on my (home) desk to make it look more cluttered.

Reorganizing my mp3s.

Watching really terrible movies.


Being obviously smarter then other people. I shouldn't enjoy it, but I do.

Not doing things I should be doing, like that essay I should be writing right now. There's a perverse pleasure in not doing it, even if you'll end up doing it tomorrow and know full well you'll be miserable because you don't have enough time to do it properly.
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 4:02, Reply)
Something strangely addictive with flushing the toilet before you start pissing and try and finish before the flush does.

much like a danger wank i guess...
(, Tue 12 Apr 2005, 3:41, Reply)

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