Goatse
Thanks to the feckin' idiot who posted the goatse photo, which is gonna look just great on my history, I've noticed something strange about him...

Surely if you were going to turn your rectum inside out, you'd take your wedding ring off first?
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 19:12, Reply)

Pretty sick and nothing funny
Several things have been unearthed from the place in my mind I put horrible things to forget so here goes:

Saw a dead body being picked out of the river Medway
Seen someone come off a rope swing and smash their face on a tree stump. He looks fucked up now.
Saw a man jump from Rochester Castle and land on his head.
And of course Goatse (how could he not be in here!?)

How lucky am I....

www.thefetus.net/page.php?id=1448
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 18:56, Reply)

I'm not a lover of Shakespeare, but...
Not so long ago I went to a free production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I was in Switzerland at the time so it was in French. So there was lots of yelling and hissing. The fairies were all dressed as cybergoths and had Dr Evil egg chairs to sleep in, which was kind of cool.

But hang on.

Since when has part of the last scene been Puck wanking Bottom's oversized and obviously rubber cock?
( Maladicta, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 18:36, Reply)

yummy
A man jumped off a building, landed near me, and the lovely woman with whom I was keeping company got brain splatter on her shoe. Cue her throwing up, and some little boy in white trousers shitting himself. Literally.

I walked home with that perma-implanted in my brain.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 18:10, Reply)

Slugs.....they're everywhere...
..recently I left fish out for our semi feral cat Eamonn, but it was untouched..a few nice warm sunny days pass.. i am greeted by not only the smell of rotting fish, but of dozens of slugs eating hundreds of maggots.Even the cat found it a bit offensive. Maggots are gross. Trauma wards are worse though, especially brain injuries..
(crapmonkey, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 17:48, Reply)

Loveable dogs
This made me feel pretty sick

Had just finished doing the business with my ex-girlfriend and she'd cleaned herself up with some tissue and merrily thrown it on the floor.

Just then, my dog runs in and happily eats the spunky tissue.

Didn't go near him for a while after that..
(mejt, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 17:26, Reply)

wet stubbly pits
sam the tampon queen was staying with me for a girls night out the other week. i was wrapped in a towel - and therefore feeling naked and vulnerable - cleaning my teeth prior to putting on make up when she barged into the bathroom in a strapless top.

she nudged me out of the way and lifted her grandma arm into the air. peering intently at the reflected pit, she swore and ripped her top and bra off altogether. one enormous E cup boob bounced gently about an inch away from my nose.

"does this need shaving?" she demanded, shoving a stubbly and rather sweaty pit right in my face.

yes. yes it did. i nearly gipped.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 17:13, Reply)

Slugs
Fairly wasted at a party. Leaned back and put my hand behind me to take the weight, straight on a slug, which squished all over my palm, it's the orangeness of it all that is the most disturbing.

A babysitter once served me up three huge slugs in a bowl with a dollop of Tommy K under the guise of a tasty treat of 'sausages', it was April fools day. I was about 5.

I didn't laugh much.

Not the most horrific thing I know, but slugs= wrongness.
(barrington, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 16:51, Reply)

Religious fundamentalism
is pretty horrific, no matter which religion it is.

Now there's nothing wrong with religion per se, if you choose to observe it. I'm just saying that just because you believe something, you shouldn't automatically assume that:

a) it is absolutely true and that there can be no other explanation;
b) everyone else should also believe it;
c) the text you go by should be taken literally as a true and complete record of past events, and book of instruction, and
d) if others don't agree with you, you have the right to maim, torture, rape, kill etc to punish them.

That's just not cricket.

There's my philosophical thought for the day. Better than goatse, at least.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 16:46, Reply)

Daktar
You know what the most horrific thing about scientology is? When you read the literature they produce in more detail, you find yourself nodding your head and saying "Yeah, that kind of makes sense!"

It's this appearance of logic on the surface that makes it the pernicious, evil thing that it is. It "appears fair but feels foul" as Tolkein might have said.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 15:56, Reply)

This has probably been entered far too late to get anywhere near top of the board
but I'm putting it in anyway. www.fightingkids.com (NSFW- not explicit but not the kind of thing you want in your site history either) is the most soul-dirtying thing I've seen on the internet. Which really is saying something. Even more so than that page full of sickly-coloured, appallingly tasteless montages showing young boys forced to dress as dolls complete with lurid makeup. (Fortunately for you buggers, I don't have the link to hand.)
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 15:48, Reply)

yes!
angrymanxman, I've done exactly the same thing. I have a bit of the old claw toe (when your toes are permanently curled over at the joints, don't wear tight shoes, boys and girls) - and the slug slipped perfectly in the gap between my toes and the pad of my foot... I froze in horror and tried to flex my toes to make it drop out, make it go away, it's all cold and slimy, ugh, ugh... squish... squelch... POP.

Slug slime and innards between my toes.

I'm actually retching as I write this.
(no way hose is staring unemployment in the face on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 15:40, Reply)

sexual assault or hit and run?
This really freaked me out, and I had kinda blocked it from my mind...

It was in my days as a first year undergraduate at uni. A week or two earlier there had been a "serious sexual assault" on campus, specifically in the direction of my halls of residence and people were a little bit nervous about going around alone late at night.

I had spent most of the evening in a friend's hall consuming a few cans of student-wallet friendly alcohol. It got quite late and I decided I would head back to my room to get some sleep.

The route back to my room crosses a road, complete with traffic light controlled crossing (but I had experienced that late at night, people didn't necessarily understand that they had to stop when the lights went red).

As I came to this crossing, I noticed in the low light of a couple of street lamps that there appeared to be a large splash of dark red liquid across the road. Not wanting to linger too long in the middle of the road I carried on crossing. When I got to the other side i noticed another patch of this dark, thick looking liquid splashed on the pavement.

At this point a number of things are running through my mind: "Is it another assualt?", "Has someone been hit by a car?" were two main ones.

If it was the former, I didn't really fancy hanging around in case they came back, so I picked up the pace walking back to my room. Looking down at the ground I noticed that there was a slight trail of (what I was now almost certain to be) blood, leading towards my hall of residence.

I'm feeling quite concerned now, so I'm jogging to my room, noticing more of a trail and more of these splashes.

I make it into my building and make sure the door closes behind me. I've already decided that I'm going to be calling campus security to come and check out what I've seen.

As i moved through into the common room (the only place in the building with a phone on the campus network) I noticed a body slumped across a couple of chairs. I stop and take a look at them from a few metres away and realise...

It was some pissed up student bastard that had too much of the snakebite (beer, cider and blackcurrant cordial) and had been vomiting it up en-route from the union to my hall.
( sudo is bored, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 15:21, Reply)

I once stepped barefoot on a slug
Infact, it was yesterday. At the back of my kitchen is a utility room where my washing machine and whatnot are. Anyway, for some odd reason a slug had decided to creep in through a crack in the door and take a look around. I came down in the night to get a drink from the fridge.

It's not so much to squishyness, it's the feeling of resistence at first and then it suddenly bursting that is the gross bit. Like if you step on a grape. I swear I actually felt its insides being squeezed out like a tube of toothpaste.

Didn't actually see it, but it's the most horrific thing I've experienced because of how vivid the sensation of feeling it's skin busrt was.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:43, Reply)

i once watched
Graeme Norton i never been more horrified in my life so many sexual innuendos and gay squeals it made me urinate in my speedos
(branflakes, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:24, Reply)

tramps are subhuman
after a night out order a kebab end up vomiting on kebab drop it on floor tramp comes over pick kebab up and starts eating it induces more vomit from me happy looking tramp walks back in to the alley where he belongs
(branflakes, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:21, Reply)

Uh oh...
Remind me not to look at this site whilst babysitting my supposedly sick 6 year old nephew, he just got a look at goatse over my shoulder. My sis is going to go mad.
( randomwomanwholikespink, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:15, Reply)

NSFW
Just found this. Wtf? No gore, just nudity. I think.
( krang, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:10, Reply)

gross shit:
I had the misfortune of arriving at a car accident site a minute or so after a small truck ran head first into a garbage truck, head first, at approximately 50-60 miles per hour (I'm a stupid American, forget what that is in km), Naturally i look over try to figure what happened with the crumpled vehicle, its door peeled off to revel the turned inside out driver slumped/splattered.

I've also had to disect a lamprey. Looks like a leech and big rubbery grey dildo lovechild. Alien dick with teeth if you will. To cut into it you have to grab the...shaft.
(MaryMolotov Spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy&Bruised, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 14:09, Reply)

Old Lady v. Tube Train
Through the magic of family friends, I managed to actually wangle some interesting work experience after my GCSEs: working in the Press Office for the HSE.

Part of it involved going to press conferences and court cases to take minutes etc. The court case I really remember was about Family of Little Old Lady versus the London Underground.

Little old Lady was in the very last carriage of a tube train, and her station didn't have terribly good safety measures: the video screens that show the driver when everyone has safely got on/off the tube didn't show the very end of the platform. So she got off the tube, didn't mind the gap, and fell halfway between the train and the platform. Except the driver couldn't see this, so merribly drove on. She was pulled underneath the train, losing bits and pieces, until someone noticed the trail of blood and bits. 3 stations later. The photos were one of the most horrible things ever.

Her family were awarded something like £5million in the end. But nothing can compensate for the horror of seeing your mother/grandmother's body parts strewn along the underground like that. I was 16 when I went to that court case, and the most gruesome thing I'd seen before that was the face-melting bit in "Raiders of the Lost Ark".
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:52, Reply)

goatse
down below some mong has posted a goatse - not in a link - not very safe for work.

Beware!
(Mr Johnny Cash eating kittens since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:50, Reply)

Terrifying
Back when i was a lad a mars bar cost 25p

fucking inflation
(Staffs Giraffe, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:46, Reply)

Horrific?
Watching house prices go up and my chances of ever buying go down.


Seeing 3000 odd people die 9/11

The gentle erosion of our freedom in this society, no smoking, drinking, speeding, shouting, anything.

When they carried my Grandfather's body down the stairs in a bodybag. I could see the shape of the body. First dead person I ever saw, aged 7.
(Hovercat, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:28, Reply)

not deep
just balls deeep....

finding henry (an upper class twat) that deep in 'Flossy Knocker' she was doing the rag doll too....
that or
robert foster had 3 sisters (plus mum natch)all at home & coming on together, dad was a sanitary engineer and installed a new low water use bathroom suite every 6 months....
every 3 months the drains had to be dredged of tampons etc 'cos the low flush had only pushed em so far along the drains, not the worst thing I've smelt but thats another QOTW, eh?


instant mammogram: just place breasts here:
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:18, Reply)

broken bones and blood
number one;

when i was 14 I was playing rugby and took a bad tackle. Now, I had broken my left arm a few times, so I knew what it felt like. I got up and looked at my left arm, which was quite frankly Bow shapped. I later discovered it had shattered into 6 pieces and had to have a pin put in. This resulted in me having an open wound with what looked like a coathanger poking out of the top of the palm of my hand. I fainted when they tried to pull it out because it had fused with the bone. Lovely.

The second:

I was 19 and the doctor finally conceded to me having my tonsils out, after years of illness. So the op went fine, but a week later when I was home with my girlfrind I started coughing up blood. Shit, I thought, its 3 am and I appear to be dying. So we got to the hospital and the consultant took a look and got one of those vacuum things to clear up the back of my throat. This sets off my gag reflex and I promptly throw up approximately 3 and a half pints of congealed blood inot a bog silver bowl, and all over the lovely white shirt of the consultant. I had to have a blood transfusion and everything. Total fucking nightmare. every time I have gone into hospital, something major has gone wrong. fucking NHS.....

Oh, and usual dick size joke. It may not be long, but I can't cross my legs.....!
(underacheiver, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:17, Reply)

Don't wear your good boots
My wife giving birth to Junior 1... a long drawn out affair, lots of machines that go "Bing" turning up, more and more staff arriving, Mr Well'Ard here starting to get a bit twitchy as the numbers of people peering up the Mrs goes up.

Little flashbacks: ventouse delivery (oh look, a conehead!) failing, the Doc saying "only small cut" in a thick Sri Lankan accent before snipping away at the ladybits like Sweeney Todd on a bad day, then hauling bright blue Junior out with the cord wrapped twice around his neck and trailing bits of ripped placenta... the nice new NHS sprog popping bed that didn't fit the buckety thing at the bottom as the budget hadn't stretched to a new bed AND bucket... cue pair of Cat boots covered in blood, piss, amniotic fluid and god knows what. Once everything had been hoovered out of the Mrs, the sight of her being left with her hooves in the stirrups for a bit while junior is checked with her fun department resembling an explosion in the abbatoir, and then being stitched up by said Doc in a hurry with about 40 feet of sutures.

Did I mention no anaesthetic?

Or the first words of the community midwife when I got her home 4 days later with an inflatable rubber ring on her seat? Quote "Bloody Hell"... spot on there... god bless homeopathic Arnica necked in large doses and salt water is all I can say.

And birth no 2? Being forced into the hospital by her gently swearing husband as she was literally shitting herself in terror... to find that she was within minutes of dropping... and the cord was round the neck again... and she came out fine in 45 minutes with no drama although she did break one of my fingers by squeezing my hand too hard. Did I mention no anaesthetic?

Mind you, there was a very fit trainee midwife and the sight of her wrist deep in Mrs Osoks naughty bits was, errm, interesting...

Oh, and the MRI scan of my son's brain bits when we thought he had something horrible, that was nice. Or when he had eye surgery and came round weeping blood and screaming loud enough to set off car alarms.

Forget RTA's, GSW's, horrible industrial accidents, dead things, abbatoirs, body fluids, dead peeps gone a bit green. No bother. The more amusing or creative will even get a compliment.

But seeing the look of serious fecking concern in a midwife's eyes as your unborn son's heartbeat suddenly starts to drop....


And cheers for the Goatse pic you throbber. Some of us old boring people who work for a fecking living can't access this board when brain dead muppets post pics instead of threads.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:07, Reply)

Adblock
...If you browse using Firefox, you can install the Adblock extension, and quickly block that goatse down below.

Or any other nasties for that matter. Sadly, the most horrific thing i'd ever seen before this QOTW were things like the pain series, harlequin babies, etc... those have been covered, so I've nothing more to say!
(Blueacid, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 13:01, Reply)

Jackdaw Shitfest
I once saw a gang of hungry jackdaws eagerly scrapping over a choice dog turd in Largs. That was quite unpleasant, watching them greedily grab juicy beak fulls of moist excrement....
(Martin3112, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:55, Reply)

Not as big as goatse, and the other end.
Five years ago, I fell off rockclimbing. The exposed tibial fracture wasn't the most disgusting thing I've seen, but the plastic surgery done afterwards...I took these pictures with my eyes screwed up.

NSFW. Really, really NSFW

Length? 16 inches of steel pin underneath.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:54, Reply)

Psycho Acid
Back when i was a bad lad in Borstal, i joined the prison samaritans listner program to help with my parole chances.

This generally entailed being locked in cells with Suicidal or Psychotic people, the ones that mainly spring to mind were

Pinhead - Prisoner who sliced his face with razors and stuck pins in himself

Acid Dave - a Guy fucked up on acid who cut his wrists and stood on his bed and started flapping his arms like a bird spraying blood all over the place. The bastard screws just stood there laughing.

Length about 5 yrs hard labor methinks
( Trollman, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:27, Reply)