Do you like the world?
Why not expediate its demise by adding a couple of resource-parasites to it, and defending them to the hilt, claiming their special to you?

Add to the scene by claiming you don't fucking care, they're your kids and you love them and that's the end of it.

Extra points for claiming to be environmentally "aware" and that you "do your bit for the environment".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 6:33, 114 replies)

By that same argument,
shouldn't you off yourself?
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 7:51, closed)

No.
I haven't bred, I'm not going to breed - out of deliberate choice - and I merely encourage others not to, as humanity is a cancer increasingly rapidly killing the planet.

Personally speaking I couldn't give a toss about the planet, as I like nice things made of metal and plastic.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:05, closed)

You are Agent Smith
AICMFP
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:13, closed)

Thank fuck for that
(about you not having bred). Imagine a desolate, apocalyptic Chavsworth place with lot's of little Vag's running around.
*shudder*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:51, closed)

Just lie back and think of Croydon.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:16, closed)

Kelmscott in my part of the world.
You get around don't you. Randy bastard.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:30, closed)

Let us know when you've made the ultimate environmental sacrifice and topped yourself.
Or when you've opted out of the social support that will be paid for and manned by everybody else's offspring in your dotage, you repugnant leech.

Just because you can't persuade even one of the Jeremy-Kyle-level slappers who litter our high streets to let you drizzle your sparse and spasticated seed up her twat, doesn't mean anybody needs to apologise to you for having productive adult relationships.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 8:30, closed)

Not at all. I'm earning my money.
Your ugly, idiot children have nothing to do with it.

Of course, if I choose to be gracious enough to offer them employment in my later years, as cleaners of some form, no doubt, then I'll expect them to say thank you and do as they're told.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:07, closed)

Bit of a low blow insulting someone's kids, what have they done to you?
Yes, I know Shambles here doesn't need defending, I'm making a point.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:18, closed)

He's attempting to troll, you daft 'appeth.
Give the bloke a chance, he's only learning.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:31, closed)

Well, there's trolling, and being an unfunny cunt.
Which is it?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:47, closed)

It's your mum.
It's time for you to go upstairs for your tea.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:24, closed)

Yes.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:06, closed)

Let's face it
If (not that I would ever clasp any nasturtiums over their heritage) they're Shamble's kids, they're going to be ugly, and they're going to be idiots.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:32, closed)

PAEDO ALARM PAEDO ALARM PAEDO ALARM PAEDO ALARM

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:33, closed)

Seriously?
Even I have standards, Shams.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:36, closed)

Haha. Like you can afford to have standards.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:45, closed)

"These are my principles! If you don't like them
I have others."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:47, closed)

Peado Alarm?
Wouldn't a peado find them sexy and not ugly?
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:48, closed)

He's clasping nasturtiums and judging the attractiveness of children.
He might as well be wearing platform heels and claiming to be the leader the leader the leader of the gang.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:04, closed)

You are right Dr S.
The dirty kiddy fingering gary glitter loving scum...
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:40, closed)

You're just jealous 'cos I score more than your mum at the docks.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:06, closed)

A one legged midget would score more than my mum....

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:22, closed)

True.
True.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:37, closed)

i thought she was

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:01, closed)

Golf clap.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:52, closed)

Ring ...
I think you might have the wrong website.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:02, closed)

78% of people with a b3ta account are on the wrong website.
It's a good job it's not a democracy or we'd have to rename it mumsnet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:05, closed)

No YOURmumsnet.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:13, closed)

Easy now!
Some people want this to be deadmumsnet. Don't you trample on their human rights.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:39, closed)

touche

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:45, closed)

what you said

I am a massive jaffa and my "girl"friend's man-made snatch is barren.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:32, closed)

Do you love humanity?
Why not do us all a favour, by going extinct?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 8:42, closed)

Having two
keeps the population on a very slow decline (given accidents, infertility, infant mortality, etc). Resource parasitism is not restricted only to kids - plenty of waste amongst adults who should know better and a massive amount through business, which only cares that you have kids to keep up demand.
Generally, the younger generations are also more environmentally aware (or at least responsive) and pass that on to their kids who are less entrenched in older mindsets, thus more likely to do something about useful.

As a disclaimer, I do have two kids, but that's where we plan to stop unless we decide to pick one up by adoption, depending on circumstances. We don't have a car, depend on public transport, eat only a small amount of beef (the source of 1/3 of all greenhouse gases through production of methane), don't have central heating or air conditioning and keep waste to a minimum. All without trying to be annoying ecowarriors. The car, airconditioning and central heating can be rather hard to do without in Sydney, but it's not killing us.
Cheers.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:13, closed)

Oh yes I agree - the majority of adults can go too, with the exceptions of my mum and dad, Archbishop Tutu, the Dali Llama, Boris Johnson, and all the fit laydeez.
Actually, I may spare Bill Bailey my infinite wrath, too.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:42, closed)

While I'm certain this will start a debate that, depending on who gets involved
is likely to end up with sobbing, fat-fingered keyboard mashing and someone being compared to Hitler .... fuck it.

"beef (the source of 1/3 of all greenhouse gases through production of methane)" ... no. Misconstrued perception of global warming/greenhouse effect methodology is, well, misconstrued. Short vs Long-term carbon cycles and net carbon load is the issue here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:35, closed)

Methane's a damn' sight better at absorbing light and radiating it as heat than CO2
Despite its relatively short residency time, it's constantly being replaced and on decomposition, provides 1 mole of CO2 per mole of CH4. It's a big enough problem that CSIRO are spending a lot here on innoculating cows with the bacteria found in kangaroo's stomachs which provide the same fermentation without the methane.
While it's short-term, it's a huge loading.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:32, closed)

you miss the most important point
which is that beef is fucking great. I'd rather the planet died then go without loads of beef.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:16, closed)

There are lots of complications.
Yes, yes methane is better at absorbing light and radiating heat. But it decomposes. To CO2. Which was absorbed by the plant in the first place to give you the food to feed the cow which the cow then belched to make methane to turn to CO2 to be absorbed etc...

The carbon balances. Except the carbon that, of course, doesn't escape from the system and so reduces the concentration. A long term plan of cow breeding and eating over an infinite length of time can only, at worst, keep the amount of "carbon" in the whole system at a constant level so no matter what spurious models and statistics people produce, won't change anything.

Tell me something. If you don't feed the grass/pellets/whatever to cows, where do you think the carbon goes when the grass dies and decomposes?

Oh, and the CSIRO will be spending shit loads on that because science funding is driven by governments not scientists, governments are almost universally retards, and we scientific researchers like to keep our jobs. So, when the choice is "do you want some money to stop cows belching, or ... no money?" then it's "Come here skippy, we need to fiddle with your shit" ... it's cake or death.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:01, closed)

That does slightly paper over the fact that the bulk of beef in the west is raised in massive feed lots
which consume vast quantities of grain which itself requires the extraction of vast quantities of fossil fuels. So cows can't directly increase the carbon from their bottoms, but the beef industry can certainly contribute greatly towards the increase of carbon from squashed dinosaurs.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:10, closed)

totally
but that's true of the whole mass produced food industry in general. If we grow our own veg and rear our own animals then cool, but then we can't live in massively urban conurbations and be tragically cool city dwellers and have stupid facial hair and Starbucks and wifi and that. Sad times, Shambles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:16, closed)

it also doesn't explain how fucking up cows with kangaroo stomach bacteria
can possibly help in the slighest, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:18, closed)

WOOLLY JUMPERS
Wait ... hang on ... wrong ungulate.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:27, closed)

"rear our own animals"?
Pervert.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:20, closed)

by the way, don't think that I'm making light of global warming
about a quarter of my research group and probably about the same amount of my funding is directed towards CO2 mitigation and biofuels

But the cow/general "vegetarianism is better for global warming" argument is so much horseshit perpetuated by either fools or people with a wider agenda.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:04, closed)

So is horseshit better or worse than bullshit for global warming?
And which one does Alarmist Trillionaire Al Gore use to fuel his fleet of massive multi-storey jet planes?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:07, closed)

They run on oil extracted from african babies
trans-esterified using only unicorn tears.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:19, closed)

Fuck off Hess

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:33, closed)

Well, speak of the devil!

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:38, closed)

goebbels to you, son.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:02, closed)

Things not
going well at the fertility clinic then?
(username failed moderation, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:23, closed)

Not at all well - apparently they still have customers.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:34, closed)

children agnostics rain
children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics cyclists righteous people vegetarians hippies me children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain children agnostics rain
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:48, closed)

And cyclists. Don't forget cyclists.
And righteous people. And vegetarians. And hippies. And you.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 9:56, closed)

Apologies for the oversight. Amended accordingly.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

I do my bit for the environment
by only using my Landrover Discovery once a day to take the kids to school and buy my Waitrose shopping, and by making sure all the poo from my pack of Labradors is taken home to spread on my roses. And for the occasional drive to the Farmers' Market in the village because it's such jolly fun.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:08, closed)

You complete bastard.
You sicken me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:16, closed)

Would you like to buy some of my homemade organic jam?
Only £15 a jar. All profits go to a small group of Hungarian orphans I'm sponsoring to offset my carbon footprint.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:22, closed)

Do you wear immaculate Hunter wellies too?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:25, closed)

There are other types of wellies?!
*snorts* Oh, I do love the local humour here! So quaint!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:29, closed)

Terry Pratchett FTW:
Chancellor *sniffs*: Mm-HM! Smell that? Now THAT'S what I call fresh air!

Local: Erm ... that's what we call it as well, Sir.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:31, closed)

Haha! Nice.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:35, closed)

"I think I've just trodden in something rural."

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:36, closed)

Might I commend this to you?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=afY4v0y4fL4
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:14, closed)

Ah, lovely!
Thankyou Flake!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:47, closed)

You're most welcome, my good fellow.

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 17:56, closed)

they're.

(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:21, closed)

\o/

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:29, closed)

But the population of the western world is declining
...EXCEPT for the 'Merkins, who seem to breed like catholic rabbits. And despite their sterling efforts to decimate their own population with bullets and crystal meth, they seem to be unable to prevent this.

So, it is the duty of all other countries to help stem the tide of Americanisation, and save the world by breeding!

Disclaimer: I quite like Americans really
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:26, closed)

Some Americans are black.
That makes you a racist.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:29, closed)

Only the slaves.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:10, closed)

How do you know I'm not black?
Oh... but that would make me racist against the white Americans. Damn.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:13, closed)

Here you are - you can join an organization
www.vhemt.org/


(Smale is stuffed, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:37, closed)

He needs to have his elephantitus sorted out

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:44, closed)

My uncle
was an elephant you cruel insensitive bastard...
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:49, closed)

My uncle was an insensitive bastard you insensitive bastard.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:52, closed)

My insensitive bastard was an uncle's insensitive bastard you insensitive bastard

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:53, closed)

He choked on an insensitive bastard, you insensitive bastard!

(McChinaman banned, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:58, closed)

Choked on an insensitive bastard's cock, he did.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:33, closed)

my you are all so insensitive and cruel
just the other day i chocked my cruel bastard of an uncle with a stuffed elephant cock
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:23, closed)

Who cares. We're all going to die soon. Right? Who's with me. Am I right?
(DBS, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:57, closed)

Racist.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 10:58, closed)

Lacist *Does Squinty eye*

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:02, closed)

Vagabond is by the looks of his OP

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:02, closed)

Unless you're a number of B3ta members' mums, of course. Then you're already dead.
(DBS, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 11:58, closed)

I am Vagabond and Scarpes long lost Mother...

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:41, closed)

Makes sense.
They're both son-of-a-bitches.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:50, closed)

Son-of-a-bitch Doc. Singular not plural.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:05, closed)

Actually
it would be sons-of-a-bitch, plural, but on us, being the sons, not you, being our bitch.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:08, closed)

Fair enough
I lose the internet. Take it and never darken my door again...
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:09, closed)

I've always wanted an internet of my own
but now I have one, I really don't know where to keep it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:14, closed)

Somewhere warm, dark and nutrient rich,
from where it may one day blossom.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:24, closed)

Surely sons-of-bitches,
unless they shared a mother.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:21, closed)

Yes.
That is precisely what Mock Turtle was claiming. Hence we are sons-of-a-bitch.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:32, closed)

An uncommonly narrow faily tree round these parts....
:)
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:51, closed)

I'm not.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:24, closed)

I'm tempted to edit my post to say "they're both cunts" just to add a mote of mystery to this massively interesting discussion on pluralizing compound nouns.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 16:58, closed)

Bollocks.
My mum's ACTUALLY got a beard.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:02, closed)

Anal or Vaginal Beard?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:04, closed)

Yes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:19, closed)

My mum's got a beard actually. I wouldn't expect you to understand unless your mum unexpectantly got a beard and died. That's probably why you make jokes about it, I expect. You insensitive cunt.
(DBS, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 15:20, closed)

How did I get dragged into this one?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:06, closed)

Because I love you Scarpe.....*bums*

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:07, closed)

Hooray.
Now get out of my arse, I have work internetting to being doing
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:09, closed)

Not exactly on topic, is it?
But, oh, so many replies... I hope it wins.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 19:23, closed)

It's also fundamentally misguided.
It's clearly OK to have as many children as you want, as long as you offset it by killing other peoples.
(speedevil, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:02, closed)

Toddler blood
will make my offspring strong.

One day, one of them will win The Apprentice. Then you'll all be sorry.

Oh, yes.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 20:22, closed)

That's what the World Bank and IMF is for.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:56, closed)

Yes it is.
People who claim to love life and people, who breed, are doing a horrible thing.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:38, closed)

Are you breeding commas?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:49, closed)

No - why you breeding ask?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 12:40, closed)

But
won't your syphilitic whore mother and which ever retard she happened to be fucking at the time be disappointed that you won't be carrying on the family name?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 22:53, closed)

Vag...?
Not likely. They probably can't remember the birth let alone the conception.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 4:58, closed)

tl;dr

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:33, closed)