I just dont understand.....
This little Indian guy at work....he just kinda jibbers at me and I sit there looking lost....then he jibbers some more....and I continue to look very lost!
(helish, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:27, Reply)

i dont know what goatse means
ditto
(woo who?, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:27, Reply)

What I don't understand is why people take a...
£500 Vauxhall Nova and spending much money on it to:
make it so low it won't go over speed bumps,
have a stereo worth more than the car,
have an exaust that sounds like the silencer has blown,
give it a paint job that makes it look like a cheap prostitute.

And then declare all of this on the insurance so you are paying for something that in your mind is worth £5000 pounds (which to everyone else is worth crap all) ramping the premium upto something more than the worth of the car.

After all of this it is just driven up and down the same stretch of road all night trying to show off to other people how bad your taste in cars/music is and that you need to replace your exhaust.

no apologies for length/girth
( sudo is bored, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:26, Reply)

?
Quiche, Just why!?

Its like an egg pie - eurgh!!

then some bozo thought of putting broccoli in it and creating the devils arm pit of egg pie


double eurgh!
(leftyleft, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:24, Reply)

designer labels
i mean WTF is that all about???

Surely designers should pay YOU for being a walking billboard/whore for their shite products.

Tommy or calvin are welcome to pay me for advertising space on any of my clothes - how bout 20 quid for a sleeve logo for starters.
(funkenstein Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:24, Reply)

Queen
and Star Trek. Although I tend not to politely go along with either.

I've got a mate who still believes after more than twenty years that there really are formal rules to Mornington Crescent.
(Wong Fei-Hung - now with added flickr.com (see profile), Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:23, Reply)

Wine
I run a Wine museum, now I run it cause I'm good at running visitor attractions
Wine - What a load of dingos kidneys!
Best line from Black Books - "Wine doesn't taste of anything! Thats the whole point!"
Also Customers - Scenario one - have a problem or the place has just closed its gates. do you speak nicley and with good humour to the Manager and see if he can help or Do you rant, and rave an shout cause the manger will obviuosly sort you out. your choice. I have personally called the police on shouty customers eight times in five years and enjoyed watching 2 seperate fat men struggle with police as they go to the cells. Don't fuck with the orc.
(1st team orc, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:14, Reply)

Toast
My mother was useless in the kitchen.

When I was about 10, I honestly thought you made toast by putting it under the grill until it turns black and then taking it out and scraping all the black bits off.

It wasn't until I was round a mates house that I saw him take the toast out before it went black and thinking "What a fucking awesome idea!"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:13, Reply)

Old men..........
............getting pissed off at the barman doing his job
(Bored, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:10, Reply)

people
who own dogs thae size of rats. ie: little farty ankle biter terrier type things. i mean, come on they're bloody pointless. you need a decent proper dog like a border collie* or a retreiver.

and cats, dont get me started on cats; never understood the point of a cat. - They do absolutely fuck all. apart from shit on the floor, bugger off for 3 days, only to come home when they want food.


*(not that i'm biased or anything, but i happen to be a border collie.
and a retreiver)
(nappy rash, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:03, Reply)

Filters
Took me a good few weeks to work out why things were being described as 'moleste'.

I thought it was Spanish or something.

*hangs head in shame*
(Throbbe, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:01, Reply)

Chris Evans
(anon., Thu 31 Mar 2005, 12:01, Reply)

Klingons
People who dress/talk/live Klingon. WTF?

Even one couple who married on a 'Starship Bridge' in a Klingon ceremony, complete with weapons, how fscked up is that?
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:59, Reply)

Chav Tourism
I don't understand why Northern Scumbags come here to Torquay on holiday to stay in an overpriced sleazy hotel and let their fat fuck kids play on a beach full of smelly seaweed, pantyliners and syringes while they mope under a fake burberry umbrella and complain about the weather.

IT'S CHEAPER TO GO TO SPAIN YOU JOCK/SCOUSE/NORTHERN FUCKTARDS.

P.S. Although the tourists are marginally better than the bail skipping scummers who come down here to lay low and drink Tennant's & inject Devon's moderately priced heroin.
(Dr GUID, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:59, Reply)

The popularity of Pot Noodles & brocolli.
And Chris De Burgh.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:57, Reply)

you know what I don't understand ?
...

cantonese

...
(sham-il-eer-tak-tak noes better but still can't give a fuck at, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:52, Reply)

Hard House Nation and Ringtones...
See that advert in the UK at the mo for the Hard House Nation compilation CD? WTF is THAT? Duf, duf, duf-duf.... Rubbish...

And who the F**k buys those ringtones? You know, the one with that Sweetie Chick or chuffing frog? Is that supposed to be cool or funny - or just retarded?
(Thebigfella, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:51, Reply)

Why people laugh at Lee Evans
Just watch Norman Wisdom from 40 years ago if you like that sort of thing.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:50, Reply)

harry potter
not getting a harry potter joke is a good thing!
( wierdo was bored @, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:48, Reply)

Why b3ta haven't bothered putting the time forward an hour yet.
You lazy fuckers.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:47, Reply)

I go to a lot of standup comedy.
And occasionally there's a joke that the comedians say which has the audience in stiches, and me nervously laughing along even though I haven't the faintest idea. It usually seems like it's topics related to movies, because I don't like going to the cinema.

It makes it worse when somebody asks me to repeat it, or even worse explain it. I can't exactly say "I didn't understand it myself" when I was laughing away like the big fat liar I am :-D

Someone once made a joke about catching the train from platform 13 and a half (or something) and everyone else laughed whilst i stood there like a muppet wondering what was going on. I later found out it was a Harry Potter reference.

I'm a cultural leper :-)
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:44, Reply)

Aussie Rules Football
OK, so it's from Australia, so I can understand the Aussie bit, but Rules and Football? Seems to be very few rules or hundreds that make no sense, and lots of throwing and carrying but sod all foot/ball action.

Also applies to American and Gaelic football
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:44, Reply)

I don't get it
How are people able to type ROFL or ROFLMAO if they are, indeed, rolling on the floor laughing, or the slightly more serious version where they require medical attention because their posterior has become detached from the body through laughter. Surely dialling 999 in this situation would be more sensible?
( doctordoctor I feel like a pair of curtains, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:44, Reply)

woo
first page....

i dont understand why people want to be the first... first post, first page....
( wierdo was bored @, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:44, Reply)

Mono
I don't get it in American films and TV shows when someone is described as suffering from Mono.

As far as i can tell it seems to be an affliction where people are sleepy.

Do our cousins across the pond mean 'Narcolepsy' but to lazy to say it?
(Raoul Moat's New Fishing Rod, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:37, Reply)

Why anyone's ever bought a Bedingfield record
or been to any of their concerts.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:36, Reply)

LEDs on exhausts
I mean why? What's that about?

I know what'll finish off my rusty Nova SR (red of course), LEDs around the exhaust. Hmm...
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:35, Reply)

I have no concept of
humour.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:30, Reply)

Ringtones
but I guess that's just a sign of me getting old.
( azerty, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:25, Reply)

Women


woo first post
(HoBag (TM) <-- Fookin' legend, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:20, Reply)