christians
christians fucking idiots, with there ways of sickly conversions *shudders*

not long now popey eh?
(count cherry, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 23:15, Reply)

Some more...
I don't understand the appeal of the EU. What on earth is appealing about paying money to other countries to let them make our laws? If we abolished the EU tomorrow, we would NOT suddenly be engulfed in WWIII and we woul NOT suddenly cease trading with Europe.

I also fail to understand how you can claim to believe in freedom of speech while simultaneously trying to censor groups like the BNP. I HATE groups like the BNP as much as the next sane human, however I believe in absolute freedom of speech. I cannot stand people who say "I believe in freedom of speech but..."
(Mr Slippyfist, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 22:55, Reply)

stuff i need to get of my chest (containes band wagon jumping)
chavs: i know you all have this on your shit list but i find it sad that a skinny 16 year old white boy from the U.K thinks he is a 30 year old black man from compton L.A

the sun news paper: why in the blue fuck must they inist on haveing more crap fucking puns in their rag than a james bond movie, roo are in trouble OH HAAAAAH! my sides are spliting. Oh and they support chavs thats just grounds for being on a shit list

reality t.v: big brother: the person who thought of this consept should be hunted down and shot along with who worked with them

xfactor/ pop idols / pop stars : talentless arse holes murder classics then dissapire in to obscureity weeks later and the judges are a barrel of fuck nuts

recent british comedys: THE OFFICE a show about a idoit boss and supposed working life :
only geting its label of great comedy because of the shit storm craeted by tabloids its just not funny , by the way my boss is like the bastard offspring of and SS officer and margreat thatcher not some fat bloke who dances crap.

medias obsession of beckham and is woman:
this should of gone on the sun section but he gets a special mention he is not god he is an thick twat and has a wife who is only with him because her lack of talent wont pay the rent

busted/mcfly: ponces who cant play thire instuments have no place in music

predujice against gingers: this is a peronal one for me iam a red head i've not had alot of stick because of my hair but i've kicked the shit out of people who have gave me shit about it . i do love it when some smart arse tosser comes up to me and gives it the useal bollocks then seconds later gets his head stamped on its your own fucking fault .

if you dont like the length tough shit
(big boss, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 22:35, Reply)

Very confusing
When I first started primary school there were a lot of things all the other kids seemed to instinctively know that I didn’t, but this one really took the biscuit. When another kid did something naughty, the rest of the class chorused, "Ummmmmmmmm!" Now, this wasn’t “um” as in, “Umm…..where did I put my car keys?” It was said with a most decisive intonation, depicting vividly the heady combination of disapproval and schadenfreude that a four-year-old feels in such circumstances.

I was completely confused by this the first time it happened. I started school on the same day as everybody else in my class, so I certainly hadn’t missed anything, and yet this was a word that the others all seemed to have in their vocabulary, and which they said in perfect unison, whilst I sat there thinking, “What…the…..oh, ok then – UMMMMM!”

It wasn’t just the kids who resorted to strange vocabulary – the teachers were just as guilty. The standard word for registering disapproval was, “Er.” Again, this wasn’t “Er….what day is it?” It was a short, clipped, extremely harsh sound, said at the beginning of a sentence with a slight pause after it, as in, “Er – get on with your work,” “Er – leave the boys alone,” and, “Er – sniffing Pritt-Stick is not hygienic.” Sometimes a teacher walking into a classroom full of rioting five-year-olds would make their presence felt simply by standing in the doorway and saying, “Er” just on its own, and waiting for the chaos to die down due to their authoritative presence.

Everybody at that school seemed to have a real penchant for using words normally reserved for moments of confusion in a confident, decisive and authoritative manner. What a hugely interesting psychological phenomenon. I think I feel a PhD thesis coming on…
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 22:27, Reply)

People who carry there dogs
Why the fuck do people do this, dogs have got 4 good legs that will carry them further than any human could ever walk, so for fucks sakes put the mongrels on the floor!
(Dazzer, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 22:09, Reply)

go on then
define offside for me.
(mrmistoffeles, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 22:09, Reply)

bongmaster:
a crap example:

person one: i dressed up as a nazi for a party last week
person two: you are prince harry aicmfp.

person one is NOT prince harry.
(qdamik, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 21:54, Reply)

I just don't understand.....
.....why, after having posted my previous message at 21:21, it has showed up as having been posted at 20:21.

USEFUL INFORMATION: The clocks went forward a week ago!

Or is it me?
(brighton_lanes, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 21:28, Reply)

Bo Selecta.....
.....I watched this. Once.

I just don't get it. And it's about as funny as a large rusty nail through the eye-socket.
(brighton_lanes, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 21:21, Reply)

Affirmative action
I mean, for chrissakes.
( collapsibletank procreates, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 21:10, Reply)

Socks
Guys who put socks and briefs on after sex before rummaging around for trousers - always remind me of Superman. Why???
(pumpkin pie, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 21:01, Reply)

Cricket
Even though i find this sport completely pants i cannot for the life of me grasp the scoring system no matter how many times i have it explained to me.

Not that im bothered. Cricket is shit...
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 20:39, Reply)

Offside...
i'm not excessively bad at football, in fact im proud to say that i can competently kick a ball roughly straight and in the general direction of those white bars with the net behind, but what is offside all about?
my family has explained it to me so many times that i've been told to leave it a few years and stop ruining once-in-a-lifetime games for them :)
(st3ve, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 20:14, Reply)

AICMFP
I only just found out recently:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_I_claim_my_five_pounds
([sic] You're ad here?, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 20:11, Reply)

AICMFP
AICMFP

I know what it stands for but i have no fudgekin clue why you use it?

In what instance would i use such a phrase?
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Fri 1 Apr 2005, 20:04, Reply)

i dont get why people get pissed off at people
making comments about people making replies to previous posts

Damn, damn, damn... done it again

Anyway, it may not run out of space but I run out of patience trying to read through 10 pages of drivel, half of which are replies to posts made already
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:56, Reply)

i dont get why
people get all pissed off about people responding to other people's answers.
it's not like this thing is going to run out of space.
(Slurpy The Frog, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:51, Reply)

@Motty:
The answer's quite simple, really: if you believe this is the only life you've got, you really don't want to spend most of it in jail.
([sic] You're ad here?, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:43, Reply)

i don't get why
people use the b3ta Question of the Week board to reply to someone else's post about 8 pages back, instead of formulating their own, independent response.

If you really want to inform the person, then why not contact them privately?

BTW Motty, Atheism is not a rejection of social boundaries. Something called the "law" means that they couldn't just haul off and belt their neighbour over the head with a rock without repercussions in their existence. If they believe there is only one life to live, why waste it by being banged up.
*realises hypocritical nature of post, hangs head, gets coat
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:43, Reply)

Motty,
Atheists feel bad about killing people because it's necessary that our species evolved it.
Living in large social groups doesn't work if we all go around smiting each other's brains out.


FURTHERMORE:
wtf is the attraction to burberry? why do chavs like it? why not tartan?

ANOTHER EDIT:
why, in my msn group (labelled as being about pirates) are all the ads for pregnancy books and vulvar varicose vein support straps?
(Slurpy The Frog, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:41, Reply)

doonesbury

( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:31, Reply)

Combining this and the Walkman Thread.
Why is it that whenever I go out shopping for CD's etc while wearing my old Sony WMD6c walkman all the store detectives end up following me down the street???
Last time I was shopping in Brum I must have hade 7 or 8 behind me; I mean I dont look THAT shifty, and I wasnt actualy nicking anything either, in fact I spent about £1200 on Hifi and CD's.
There is of course the rumour that the crystal lock drive on the WMD6C is the same frequency as the anti theft patches everyone uses these days..........
(Captain Cretin, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:24, Reply)

Atheists
Why is it that atheists don't just do whatever they want? If they really believe that this life is all there is, then if that were true then there would be no real implications. Say an atheist murdered somebody:
That person would have died anyway, their entire family and everyone else affected by this tragedy will die anyway, and in fact everybody will die anyway, so it's just speeding the whole damn thing up.
(NPC, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 19:19, Reply)

Viz.
Why is videlicet abbreviated to viz.? Where does the Z come from?
([sic] You're ad here?, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:50, Reply)

I just dont get
The rules of tennis ( countless hours spent with tennis fans trying to explain them to me ) WHY? I don't even like the fookin game ....
How to read music ... countless hours spent with long suffering crusty music teacher ...still didn't sink in
Why blokes think they look good in white socks , black shoes and half mast combats.
Ferrero rocher choclates ( loose description ) more like rabbit shite rolled up in cheap cooking chocolate and rolled in sawdust...WHY?
Old people always give you their age 'next' birthday..and expect you to show admiration for them lasting so long draining the economy and blocking beds in hospitals.
Pimply teenagers that work in DIY stores and Telly shops who know fuck all about the stuff they sell you!
Rant over ......for now ..................
(Jessypuss Fiddling with stuff since 1957, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:50, Reply)

I have no idea why
anybody would want to diet. I'm about a stone overweight, meaning I have F-cup norks and can eat all the kebabs I want. Result!
( Queen of Cheesecake, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:50, Reply)

People dissing people for believing in something
I've noticed the relatively high number of posts aimed at religion as something they don't get and basically hate in someway. But why should you rant about it? Nobody's making you believe and I just don't get it how people can spend so much time arguing against religion, it's almost like justifying their non-belief. I believe and that's my choice, and other's who don't that's their choice and I don't diss them for it. Soz about this rant, I just thought it was time for a bit of balance!
(fshingcat lurker- Don't mind me, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:49, Reply)

How so, Sheppos?
The first part of the question says 'what don't you understand?'

That on it's own is a question. If there's something you don't understand, and wish to rant about it, that's still a valid answer.

So, I don't understand why people have nothing better to do than pick apart people's answers to questions.
(sky blue sam, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:38, Reply)

Why oh why oh why....
What don't I understand?

Why would anyone buy Elizabeth Duke jewelery from Argos. Especially those big 'gold' sovereign rings. are you trying to look like a twat or are you just that stupid?

That anyone would actually buy a BMW 1 series

Women. Don't understand them at all. Dammit.
(MrJelly, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:37, Reply)

People on here
Who don't have the attention span to understand the question and post relevant replies.

Meh.
(sheppos, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 18:30, Reply)