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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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What popular french reggae singer loves inexpensive ham?
pas cher jambon!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Jul 2022, 13:22, 1 reply, 3 years ago)
What popular reggae singer liked to play bluegrass music whilst commanding the seventh United States army in the Mediterranean during World War 2?
Banjo Patton!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 2 Jul 2022, 10:09, 1 reply, 3 years ago)
When do most people go to get their NHS dental work done?
Never!!
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 27 Jun 2022, 14:23, 8 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
Who does that rail union leader Mick Lynch think he is?
Standing on the roof of his workplace making a speech telling all the workers to come out on a general strike.
He's getting ideas above his station.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 27 Jun 2022, 12:04, Reply)
Very funny joke with mass appeal
Q. How does a Linux sysadmin treat nappy rash when his baby won't let him apply crem?

A. sudo crem
(I helped save b3ta! hagbardsapple no dialogue with twunts, Sat 25 Jun 2022, 11:56, Reply)
Holiday raffle joke
Saw there was a raffle on to win a holiday in France.
I thought β€˜What have I got to lose?
And I won!
I thought β€˜What have I got? Toulouse.’
(JauntyArt, Fri 24 Jun 2022, 17:59, Reply)
Coffee shop joke
Saw this guy beating up a woman in a coffee shop
A Costa?
Yeah, fucking battered her.
(JauntyArt, Fri 24 Jun 2022, 17:58, Reply)
I got the new nintendo game where you can choose what your character does
Mario Γ  la carte
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Jun 2022, 23:06, Reply)
How can you tell if a baker has a mild to moderate learning difficulty?
He has special kneads.
(Sebastien Trent-Sodomite Ain't leading but two things right now: Jack..., Thu 23 Jun 2022, 21:48, Reply)
Which Ancient Roman leader who fiddled while Rome burned was also capable of holding large quantities of water?
Amphora Nero.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 23 Jun 2022, 14:26, 6 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
On which video games console can you take part in a multiplayer boredom simulator?
On Wii
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 23 Jun 2022, 12:59, Reply)
Why did the little boy fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
(Errorist, Wed 22 Jun 2022, 12:28, 11 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
Who are the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' favourite late-nineties alternative comedy duo?
Lee and Heroin
(Sebastien Trent-Sodomite Ain't leading but two things right now: Jack..., Mon 20 Jun 2022, 20:26, Reply)
What's a Geordie's favourite type of plastic?
PET
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 15 Jun 2022, 12:52, 1 reply, 3 years ago)
Doctor Doctor
I used to really struggle with the thought that I was a Tenon saw!

How are you now?

I'm Coping!
(b0rk3d Jokes are better than technique!, Tue 14 Jun 2022, 14:42, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
What did the philosophical monkey say?
Ooh ooh, ah, ahhh!!!
(Struffy, Tue 14 Jun 2022, 12:32, 1 reply, 3 years ago)
Who went around the world in under 80 days and was travel sick the entire time?
Bilious Fogg!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs πŸ¦‡ ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ↓πŸ¦‡, Mon 13 Jun 2022, 15:26, 5 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
What's the opposite of Piers Morgan?
Piers Nacht.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 13 Jun 2022, 15:20, Reply)
A variant of a joke I heard on I'm sorry I haven't a clue.
Countryfile = Someone who actually likes Piers Morgan.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=285DD7QECzY
(solomungus, Thu 9 Jun 2022, 21:51, 5 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
Did you hear that US Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh
nearly drowned under suspicious circumstances recently?

It was particularly suspicious because he was traveling in a dinghy on very shallow water at the time.

They're saying he just couldn't decide row vs. wade.
(I helped save b3ta! the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Sun 5 Jun 2022, 10:11, 3 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
My heavily pregnant friend is worried people will rest their crockery on her bump this weekend.
She's not looking forward to the platter numb due belly.
(Max Harvey, Thu 2 Jun 2022, 13:34, Reply)
What do kinky octopuses like?
Taint tickles.
(oyog, Tue 31 May 2022, 18:33, 3 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
What popular reggae singer is a young professional ballroom dancer's father giving him a bath?

Pa tub Anton!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 30 May 2022, 23:17, 2 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
Why did Kirk Hammett tell the lads to hang on a minute?
Their bus was about to go over a cliff
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 30 May 2022, 22:59, 1 reply, 3 years ago)
Did you hear about the first person to encrust headphones in pastry?
They were a real pioneer
(Craigmas, Mon 30 May 2022, 21:53, Reply)
What did fonzi say after moving to Grassington?
Ayyyyyyyyy up
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 27 May 2022, 23:50, 3 replies, latest was 3 years ago)
A doctor neglected his clients whilst working on his inventions.
Now he's got patients pending
(I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Fri 27 May 2022, 23:07, Reply)
What is a vegan Russian's favorite sports car?
Borscht 911
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Fri 27 May 2022, 21:34, Reply)
What sort of car does a tomato drive?
A Volkswagen Passata.
(I helped save b3ta! krang, Fri 27 May 2022, 21:06, Reply)
Which dinosaur is terrible at first person shooter games?
Tyrannosaurus Rekt.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 26 May 2022, 14:43, Reply)

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