Mentally scarred
My parents asked me to babysit my little bro, who was 4 at the time. I was about 16. I was quite bored, and decided to play a little trick on him. I am so ashamed of this.... I told him I was going to go out for the evening and he wasn't to tell anyone. He looked at me with his big blue eyes and whispered "OK..." I plopped him in front of the TV, made him a bowl of cereal, kissed him goodbye, then walked out the living room. Once into the halway, I opened and then closed the front door, without actually leaving of course. Scampered back and had a quick listen at the living room door, thinking he'd be up to all sorts he wasn't supposed to, but he was actually just sitting there trembling and crying softly. I felt SO BAD!!! I still apologise to him about it to this day, whenever we go out on the lash together.

I also used to pretend I was dead... that used to cause mass panic too... I must be sick!!
(Mad McMad, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:19, Reply)

Baby go bye bye...
This is a much better question of the week than last week!

When my brother was barely 6 months old my mum had put him at the top of our (steeply sloped) garden in his pram. Which i then took the brakes off. And watched him flying down the garden. Into the wall of the house at the bottom.

Another one - when my brother was tiny he used to have one of these bouncey harness things that fit in a door frame. I found out that i could pull it back and let go - thus firing him like a catapult.

Anybody think i didn't want a brother?

Oh yeah, and my dad used to sit in the roof of his garage when he was a kid and drop darts onto a dartboard below. One day his brother walked underneath, so he dropped a dart onto him instead. It stuck in his head, and as he was running in to tell their mum my dad was running behind him trying to knock it out.

b
(basshedz2, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:15, Reply)

Knight Rider...
When we were small, I was fortunate enought to be close friends with Michael Knight (or so little bro believed). Close enough even to have an invisible communications microchip implanted into my wrist (roughly under my barbie watch) whereby i could talk to Michael Knight whenever I needed to. Michael and I were arranging for my brother to have his very own 'Kit' to get to and from school in... but of course, whenever my brother displeased me, I would talk furtively into my wrist cancelling delivery arrangements, causing my brother of course to panic, apologise profusely and agree to give me all his toys/let me fill my barbie swimming pool with his ghostbusters ectoplasm/ dress up as the damsel in distress in our 2-person roleplays and let me fire arrows at him. It kept on fooling him until he was in his mid-teens or something. (OK - 7 praps!)
(me'n'my monkey, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:14, Reply)

Little bro - big Sis
Damn lucky we are alive...

Little Bro

1.Dropped a tonka lorry on my head - Made me bleed
2.KO'd me with a DDT - stupid wrestling...
3.I smacked him in the face with a sledgehammer (accident)
4.I thrust a broom under the wheels of his bike, he came a cropper, Dad saw everything..you can guess the rest..
5. Wrestling,wrestling and more wrestling..Cannot do it anymore as he is a gardner and I am an office worker :-( stupid manual labour building muscles..

Big Sis
1.Bloodied her nose
2. She dressed me and bro up as women and took pictures... I think this might be the wrong thread for that story...
3. Her boyfriend crashed his motorbike into motorbike my little bro was riding, he broke his arm...I felt bad cos I should have been on the other bike...
(Rockster77, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:13, Reply)

This happened when I was about 6 and my sister was about 4.
I was happily drawing away, I was colouring an owl I had drawn, when suddenly my sister grabs it off the table.

I chase her round the house, trying to get it back. Being bigger I caught up with her, and trying to subdue her, I pushed her over.

We were in the kitchen at the time, so she slid across the linoluem and hit her head on the washing machine, cracking it open. She had to have 6 stitches. It's since been cracked open since about 3 other times, it's her weak spot.

It was her fucking fault though, I claim no responsibility. She stole my fucking ace picture of an owl, and she got her punishment.
I'm all for killing burglars too.

The bitch.

The picture has since been destroyed, possibly because it is cursed. A reproduction can be found here.
( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:10, Reply)

Andy Pandy
In the days before child abuse and parental neglect existed, I, as an 8 year old was entrusted with the supervision of my 5 year old brother. I had to get him ready for school and take him basically. It was all perfectly normal but you wouldnt get away with it these days blah blah.

One day, I swung a 4 foot tall Andy Pandy doll with bells on the end of its limbs, at my brother. One of the little metal bells hit him in the head knocking him to the ground and clean out. I remember rather calmly cleaning up the blood which was by then quite a large puddle, bringing him round and walking him to school. He wasnt quite all there really when I think about the staggering and lurching and the clutching of a rather profusely bleeding scalp. He wasn't dead though and therefore perfectly ok in my eyes.

The reaction of the teachers on arrival was priceless. I still didnt realise what a problem it all was. How social services never heard about it I dont know. Probably because my mum was one of the teachers. Dad said 'it was one of those things'.

Ho hum. Sorry bruv by the way.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 15:02, Reply)

I still have plenty of time
to reak havoc on my half-brother. He's only 15 months, and I have another 4-5 years before I'm off to uni, and there's always a chance my mum may pop another one out *hopes not*.

So far, the main injuries involve him falling down stairs (babies do bounce!), being dropped, being rolled off the sofa, and being poked when only a few hours old (I was curious. They feel like rubber.). so far, all the bratlings done to me is bite, and half-deafen me with his camp screams. Yes indeedy, you can get poncey toddlers.
(Kiera Wilkinson is dancing with shadows, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:52, Reply)

Projectile Darts
Oh the fun of it. As kids, Nick and I invented the game of projectile darts. The little dartboard was attached to the fence, and we stood at the other side of the garden - about 40 foot away.

Obviously, this was too far to throw normally, so fresh with our expertise at judging angles (form Daley Thompsons Decathlon!), we too it in turns to try and hit the board.

Nick was over to one side, walking towards the board, and, thinking it was safe to throw, calculated the angle and velocity perfectly adn let go. Nick chose this as the perfect time to wander infront of the board and the dart landed square in the back of his head. It stuck there.

Bugger thought I. I am in for a smacking when he tells my parents, but he seemed entirely non-plussed by it. I checked he was OK and it appears that he hadn't felt the pointed metal tip in his scalp, so I retrieved the darrt and retook the through.

Oh, and there was another time when he pissed me off and I chucked adult darts at him, causing him to scream like a baby as blood gushed out of one of his hands. I feel a little bad about that one now.
(lardaholics anonymous, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:48, Reply)

I dislocated my daughters arm once...
I didn't mean to do it, I'm not a child beater or anything.

It was one of those situations where I wanted to go one way and she wanted to stay and watch the polar bears (as you do - at the zoo).

I pulled on her arm and she promptly decided to protest by sitting down suddenly.

POP - and we end up in the ER.

Doc pops it back in within minutes while giving me shifty and disapproving glares, while I'm blushing furiously and over-explaining what happened.
(Peelmytangerines, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:47, Reply)

Bad Weazal Bad
Talked me into jumping off the top of playgroup climbing frame when I was about 4 (while Mum was chatting) resulting in a trip to hospital for a wreaked knee
Trip to hospital for dog bite to nose thanks to Weazal waving a dog treat for an overexcited jack russell in front of my face(mentioned in a previous QOTW)
Gash in ankle due to falling through a roof he had talked me into climbing (mentioned in a previous QOTW)
Crack in front tooth from a Bullworker exerciser being bend and then released in my face
Weazal found razorblades in my Gran's house and talked me into going first to see how sharp they were - gashed finger and yelling at by my Gran (weazal got off scot free)
I have an idea he wasn't really keen on having a twin sister

However I did once get him to rip a rug in half due to pain, being a girl I didn't think/realise guys getting whacked in the nuts was such a big a deal, so I "accidentally" brought my knee in a bit closer than I should have done during a play fight, then realised for a fat lass I can run fast when needed.
( Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:47, Reply)

Over the years
Sisters, let's see. I have...

Thrown a table at my older sister. It hit its target.

Hit her round the head with a tree.

Tried to force a knitting needle down her throat.

Referred to her, in public, only as "scaffolding" for 2 whole years while she had a brace on her teeth.

As for my younger sister I let my hatred simmer unvoiced for years, until one day, after one too many cuntish remarks I punched her full in the face and knocked her flying off her chair.

I fucking hate sisters. Age has done nothing to convince me they are a good idea.
(Lambkin, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:32, Reply)

she had it coming
My sister used to do many a bad thing to me (such as threaten to stab me with a pair of scissors once!) but my day of revenge came through a game of 'matador'. Basically this involved running up and down the landing pretending to be bulls by charging at my red pyjama top. Revenge came when I held said pyjama top up in front of door (which was shut) so sister went stright into door as she was concentrating too hard on my top to see where she was going and cut her head open.

I don't think too many brain cells were killed due to a flourishing career and intelligence that makes me wish I had just half of her mental capapcity!
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:26, Reply)

and one more
I almost forgot this one!

I was carrying a plastic bucket (think of beach buckets for making sand castles) and it was full of petrol, it was summer and we were messing about, my 'friend' had the lighter and decided to start flicking the flint, well as I now know and will never forget, sparks plus petrol fumes = BOOM! the bucket goes up in flames as these flames lick at my hand I brick it (being 11/12) I drop the bucket and go to run away, only thing is the bucket I dropped decided to splash burning petrol up my leg!

oh that was fun having my calf burned by petrol, and hte only thing that saved my ass (literally!) was the old drop and roll!!

sorry for length and girth etc etc etc
(lokiy2j, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:24, Reply)

Ride em Cowgirl
Like lots of 4 year old girls at the time, I loved ponies and horses. After begging my mum for one yet again and being refused ( mean cow) I decided to persuade my 3year old brother to act as a pony so that I could ride him round the lounge. I decided to doing a flying mount, as seen on spaghetti westerns and the like, and jumped on him from the 4th stair up. I was a chubby little bugger, and my brother was a particularly delicate little thing, so inevitably I broke his arm and collar bone. Never did get that pony.


EDIT: And we had to spend all the potential pony money on presents for him, after he had 2 operations as his balls hadnt dropped! What a bloomin liberty!!!
(Picalillie, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:22, Reply)

I was about 12
and I was playing golf, My sister was behind be when I took my swing. I smacked her in the jaw! (It was a accident). She hasn't been near a golf club since.
(Hartlepool15 aka []Chips[] So you don't have to, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:19, Reply)

Sooooo much
Me and my bruv (18months younger than me) used to get into some funny scrapes.

1.) we got up our garage (detatched) roof and umbrellas in hand did a 'mary poopins' it didn't work but was damn good fun plus being young and not getting hurt that time was fun, which probably led to some of these stories.

2.) in a park, some kids on a see-saw I walk up ask to play, they say no I ask why, not realising how close I was to the end that was in the air, and WHACK! I get smacked in the noggin, I don't even notice I'm bleeding for about 10 mins, my mum went mental, that's the reason that park no longer has a see-saw.

3.)my bruv and I used to have the best fights, like proper punch ups that usually led to blood, he once hit me in the head with a tea-spoon and cut my head open, he also once used my mothers high heels to do the same.

4.) he pissed me off once so I punched him to the floor and continued to punch him in the face whilst he had his hands covering him pleading me to stop (I'm not proud of this but he deserved it at the time)

5.) my nan broke up a fight one then my bruv punched me and split my lip.

6.) we once had a proper stick fight (using garden canes) we fought with these awesome weapons around my nan's house out onto her front garden where she came out and broke us up.

7.) I once pushed him back down some steps (a small concrete set of 3) and he cracked his head open, blood everywhere.

8) I was once play fighting with my brother and some kids, and one of them took my legs out from under me knocking me unconcius and giving me temporary amnesea, all I remember was crying, and talking to this girl I liked, but not being able to communicate with anyone properly, having amnesea is bloody scary.

I think that's everything I can think of.

My brother and I no longer fight each other, but we do have the odd play fight, he's very similar in build to a brick poo house, whilst I work in an office, probably why I don't like to fight him anymore.

I loved being a kid.
(lokiy2j, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:19, Reply)

well,
I Buried my sister under the patio

/fred west
(Lambkin, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:18, Reply)

Me and bruv were playing darts.

I wasn't really paying attention and started my throw as he was still pulling his darts out of the board. I managed to pin his little finger to the board - ouch!

.
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:17, Reply)

Nasty shit
I once won a plastic ring from one of those little vending machines - i was after a bouncy ball.
Being a boy I didn't have a need to decorate my little sausage fingers, and my mother suggested I give the ring to my little sister.
So I quickly stamped on it.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:09, Reply)

not me, my dad
my dad told his wee sister to jump out the second story window and he'd catch her.
at the last moment, he did the comedy 'hold-arms-out-in-wrong-place' bit...
he didn't catch her, she broke her leg


my dad's wee brother broke my dad's wrist - by jumping the entire flight of stairs and karate-chopping dad's arm.
the day dad got his cast off, he was watching tv resting his arm on the arm of the sofa. his little bro 'surprise-karate-chopped' dad's arm. and broke it again.
(whatsinaname, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:05, Reply)

Big Brothers
knocked 2 of my brothers front teeth out when I was about 16 and he was 20 because he threw a dart at me
(Sid, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 14:00, Reply)

Revenge
When I was 6, me and my younger brother were playing hide and seek in the living room. He hid behind a chair and when I found him I tried to lift him out from behind it, over the top of the chair... and ended up dislocating his shoulder. Took him to the hospital and he got himself fixed up and it seemed all was well.

One week later we were back in hospital. Playing in the garden my brother had come up to me and smashed me in the back of the head with a brick.

Not so much a case of revenge served cold, but revenge served really really overdone.
(Egret, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:59, Reply)

Reciprocal Violence....
Christ, my sister and I used to fight like animals...a small selection:

- She was sitting on a table aged 2 or so, I was 5. (Apparently) I walked up to her and punched her smack in the face. Don't remember that though.

- We were playing a 'game' where she was trying to hold the garage door shut with the pull-cord, and I was on the other side trying to wrench it open. Cord snapped, she flew back and landed on her wrist. *snap!* Hmm. Apparently that was MY fault?

- She got her own back by calling me to the garage saying 'Ive got something to show you!' So I ran over thinking she'd found a giant centipede or a bug or something, and she leapt out and clotheslined me with a cricket bat. Bitch damn near decapitated me.***

- I threw a rolled up copy of the Radio Times at her when she wouldn't give me the TV remote. It took a chunk of skin out of her nose. Bled like a bastard too. That'll learn her.

*** She did the same to me about 6 months later with a golf club. I think that was just after the arm breaking incident, so I couldn't really argue.
( B00gle-H00ps Looks like a horse, in a man costume..., Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:59, Reply)

I'm an identical twin
therefore the 'competitive' nature of my upbringing is a step above most, my brother's right big toe is completely immobile ever since I chucked half a house brick at it when we were small, he's knocked me out by kicking me in the nads and then double knee-dropping me from the back of the sofa, but I got my revenge the next day by slamming his head in a car door Vinnie stylee, that brought it to 1-1...
(Wombatovic, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:50, Reply)

Birds of a Feather
When my sister is angry, she is belligerent.
Once i wound her up so much she whacked me on the top of the head with a tin of furniture polish.
My reaction?
I turned around and with all the force I could muster, I punched her straight in the face....

She kicked the living shit out of me.

On a lighter note i grew up with some twins and one of them vac'ed the others toenails off in his sleep as an April fools gag.

The also headbutted each others teeth out... Don't really see them anymore, shame, I bet they have limbs missing.
(JinDod, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:49, Reply)

My dad
My dad buried his sister in a pile of leaves.

Not so bad in itself, but he did it on the driveway, so when my grandfather drove home he damn nearly killed her.
( Pachey, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:48, Reply)

Make it Stop - Please Make it Stop
Younger sister..... she had one of these "Tiny Tears(c) " type dolls. You pulled the string and it said vaious things like "Mama" or "I love you" or "Where's my fags". Well she just kept on with it and on and on and on and me being a little sod nicked it off her, soaked it in paraffin and hung it from the beam above the garage doors....box of matches in hand the conversation went along the lines of "One step closer and it gets it....just one more..... I wonder what its last words will be....I'll bet its not -help me I'm on fire-" at that point cue entrance of very irate mother who had been watching for a couple of minutes..... needless to say it wasn't Tiny Tears who ended up in the most pain.
( Spackweasel - because weasels get Downs Syndrome too, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:48, Reply)

He deserved all he got....
Various injuries inflicted upon my brother include:
1. Stabbing him in the arm with a carving fork for trying to steal my roast beef.
2. Punching him in the face with such venom that his lip split and he need 6 stitches in it.
3. Slamming a green house window shut rather hard on his arm, plastic broke, glass cut his arm up rather nicely.
4. Frequently battering him purely for being a smarmy Spurs fan.
(Avalanche - Purveyor of sexual deviancy since 1976, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:47, Reply)

Broken Collarbone #2
In some ways I actually think i deserved this one. I was about 10, so around 2 years after broken collarbone #1 incident.

My brother, lying flat on the ground in our front garden by the driveway, summons me over to him. Me being somewhat insecure and always wanting to be part of my brothers older, infinitely cooler crowd, runs over to see why on earth he and his mates would be interested in little old moi.

With his knees tucked into his chest and the soles of his feet pointing to the sky, just like a nice comfortable pedestal, he asks me if i want to sit on his legs. To play. Like a "fun, wobbly chair" if you will.

I tentatively perch my backside onto his feet and lift my legs in the air. No sooner had the smile broken out across my face in acknowledgement of such a friendly, brotherly gesture when ...

WHAM!!!

He shoots his legs bolt upright, fully extending them with all his 16 years of might.

I get air. BIG air.

And land, with all the finesse of Lisa Riley attempting a pirouette on an ice rink after her 20th bottle of Blue WKD.

Onto the driveway.

The concrete driveway.

At least i didnt cushion my landing with my face though, but my shoulder didnt do such a great job, which is how i got broken collarbone #2.

Cheers bruv.

You cunt.
(inspoken, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:45, Reply)

My sister, not me doing the injuring
Once, while younger I was chasing my sister through the house after she decided to smash 2 of my favourite model aircraft (I was 10 at the time, so give me a break). After running through the open patio doors, my sister then decided to slam them shut. On my FINGERS. This smashed all the fingers in my left hand, causing them to wobbly around, swell and me to scream like hell. After going to casualty, having them pulled about (they had to make sure they were broken, couldn't take the hint that they were all going in different directions), morphine to releive the pain, and then surgery to put them back together again, my mother then had a go at me for chasing her.

I've never forgiven either of them.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 13:45, Reply)