Fight the dog
I was chatting to a mate of mine's brother the other night and he was telling me that when he was about 20 and my mate was 5, (they have a 15 year age gap), some of his mates used to come around to the house for a few drinks and watching the footy and they also used to babysit my mate at the same time.

During half time, they used to get my mate to 'fight the dog' which involved winding the dog up by poking it and setting my mate on it, aged five. Apparently they carried on doing this for a few years until he could finally beat the dog. I was trying to figure out if it is animal cruelty or child abuse. Bearing in mind my mate loved it apparently, I guess its one for the RSPCA.
(jimbobaggins, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 11:33, Reply)

The agony.
Me and my sister fight constantly. She's 14, I am 18, yet she is bigger than me, stronger than me, and more prone to violent outbursts.

One memorable occasion had her beating the crap out of me and then legging it into her room. I tried to force the door open, she held it shut. Being quite drunk, I started to kick it, hoping it would swing open.

Both my knees went through the door.

The little shit took this opportunity to open the door, slam my hand in it repeatedly, panel me some more, and left me crying in a booze-soaked heap, bleeding profusely from my knees and nursing a very misshapen hand.

Hatred.

I've never really done anything to her. Once I got annoyed and pushed her off the slide. She couldn't talk for a while as she landed on her face.

That's about it.
(sporky, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 11:20, Reply)

The child of Satan
Apparently, between the ages of 3 and 11 I was the child of Satan and would make life a living hell for my older brother and sister.

- I once threw and dart at my brother which went through the skin between his fingers, he pulled it out and there was no real damage.
- I pushed him onto a chair and made him dislocate his finger, luckily he had the SAS survival hand book and managed to put it back in again.
- When i was 6 i saw him in the shower (he was 12) i then proceeded to tell my family and their friends that he has 'hair on his winky'
- I threw a pen knife at my sisters feet which got wedged in the floorboards in between her small toe and the next one along.
- I used to just up and down on her in the back of the car so she now has back problems.
- I also laughed when my dad fell into hippo and crocodile infested water and we thought he had died, but it think that was just shock!
(camel, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 11:19, Reply)

Double whammy
I was helping my little brother cut our lawn, it's a fairly big job as there are plently of obstacles to move (ie birdtable). He had been constantly winding me up that morning, I couldnt escape the torture of his immature remarks - you know the sort.

Anyway, he found a massive pile of dog poo left by my nan's dog, and picked it up using the "shitty shovel" - as it is referred to by my family - thinking he would chuck the poo into a bush. He didnt. He chucked it onto me, and it splattered all over my leg. He immediately breaks down with a fit of laughter, and i can feel the morning's toruture boiling inside of me. I end up attempting to kick him, but he raises his foot up to block the shot. With all of my pent up rage going into that blocked kick, it would have bloody hurt if it had been landed correctly, but being the non-violent type that i am, i've never really had to practise kicking people.

I had to go inside and sit down after this, taking my trousers off obviously. I thought i had broken my toe - i was in agony, while my mum and brother are wetting themselves laughing over my pooey trousers and achy toe.

Weeks later, half of my toenail died, and half was alive. this has led to what i now call "my micheal jackson toe", whereby half of it is white and half is black.

To this day, a year on, i still have a manky toenail, the black bit would still be there except i had it removed by a doctor. it is smaller than the other toenail in comparison, and i'll never forgive my brother.

grr.
( Goon, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 10:53, Reply)

Revenge is a dish but forks are better!
When I was 7, my brother (14) had to look after me at his friend's birthday BBQ. He was so annoyed at having to spend the afternoon babysitting his little brother that he got his mates to trap me under an empty paddling pool whilst they took turns throwing cricket balls and rocks at me.

When they decided that torturing me was boring (I had decided to act possum) they lost interest and went to a nearby field for a kickabout.

Unable to let this injustice slide I dusted myself off, found a weapon (BBQ fork prong thing) and went in pursuit. I walked across the field - semi blinded with tears and my own blood (from a busted eyebrow) - fully intent on murdering the big turd.

I managed to get past 2 of his friends before one of them noticed the weapon, hidden behind my back, and yelled a warning to my brother. I recall him looking really angry and running towards me -clearly intent on pulping me.

Ordinarily I would have bottled it when confronted by this sight, but my resolve had been hardened by the sycophantic laughter of his mates and by the presence of the sharp pointy thing clutched behind my back.

In retelling the next part of the story, my brother insists on playing it down and still makes fun of what I was shouting at him (.. something like " I will slay you, you big bummer"). I'm guessing he does this in an attempt to repress the true horror. (He also makes sure he leaves out the torture and provocation bits too - turd).

Obviously trying to act big in front of his mates (and possibly not noticing the big fork) he grabbed both my ears and pushed my head back - maybe thinking I was going to swing at him. I grabbed the fork with both hands and drove the fugger into the top of his trainerde foot. In my memory I shouted something like 'Excelsior!" but I probably didn't.

I think I was as shocked as him when blood starting fountaining out of his shoe, (this didn't stop me from legging it straight afterwards mind) but part of me wishes I had stayed around to watch him try to move his foot only to realise it was pinned to the ground.

He still blames me for ending a promising football career.
I still blame him for having a patchy eyebrow.
( Woolworth Smells of festive spices, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 10:52, Reply)

Well,

since I was an only child I had to beat myself up. And I fucking deserved it too.
(roysin, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 10:27, Reply)

My brother used to shag his bird in the attic....
While my parents were downstairs.



So I locked them both up there and turned out the lights.
( Bamboo Steamer, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 9:43, Reply)

me me me me me!!!!
I was such a shitty sister, my oldest brother threw a dart at my head and fractured my skull.

So what that I was standing under the dart board at the time? So what that I refused to move? I was F@CKING 5 years old at the time!!!!!!!

Dad beat the shit outta him. Heh heh heh. That was my revenge.
( sheraloonytunes, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 8:40, Reply)

me?
I was so fucking rotten I prevented any of them from being born.

so there.
(Mabel DelTaco, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 7:40, Reply)

how about parental rivalry?
dad arrived home with a new lawn mower, because surprisingly enough, mum loved mowing the lawn and thought it was good exercise too.
dad showed her how to start it, empty the catcher etc etc, so when she's finished mowing the lawns, she asks dad how do you turn it off.
'oh, you see that wire going to the spark plug, well, just press your finger down on it and it stops.'
we had neighbours talking about the scream for weeks afterwards.
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 5:46, Reply)

Smashed teeth.
When i was cleaning out my mother's room, i had a stack of plates in my arms, and my brother said, "Hey, Justin, look." So i turned around, but he kept going and his jaw was at the right height for the plates....
(Ireul, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 5:00, Reply)

my brother
once pushed me down the stairs in a zipped up suitcase. headfirst.

i locked him in the loft for it.
(cairo, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 4:06, Reply)

i stole
my sister's stash
(Drunkendragon, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 3:39, Reply)

Well.
I'm an only child but when i was younger my friends older brother threw a golf club at me, a driver to be precise. It smashed me square in the chest. It was painful.

I cried (like a girl).
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Sat 20 Aug 2005, 2:45, Reply)

So many incidents...
Given that my brother and I have both done karate since we were little. I think the best one had to be when we were practicing together and it got a little competitive. We were out in our garden at the time, which has a row of massive fuck off trees in the middle. He ended up getting thrown into one and got a branch embedded in his back. Not to be outdone, he pulled the branch out and twatted me in the face with it. I've still got the scar. The moral is: siblings are cunts.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 2:32, Reply)

Baby Bouncer GBH
I've no recollection of this but my sister insists this is gospel; Apparently I took the horizontal iron bar out of my baby bouncer, while my dad watched (in rapt curiosity) and smashed her square in the pus with it, full pelt.

It burst a vessel under her eye and she screamed like a banshee with blood pissing from her face, at which point I freak and start crying. My dad picks me up and does the parental comfort thing to shut me up leaving my sister haemmoraging into the carpet.

Haha. Frankly, I'm amazed we still speak to each other. She got me back years later by pinning me to the living room floor (think Typewriter) and battering me around the face and head with a nearby poker.
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 1:05, Reply)

Ahhhh
I have two brothers. I'm also male. Fighting happened very regularly.

Particularly noteworthy was the "foot fight". This comprised of me and my brother lying on the floor with the soles of our feet touching, then, well, kicking the shit out of eachother shouting "feet fight feet fight feet fight!". These got old quite quickly, and never caused any significant damage.

Slightly more painful was when myself and my brother were in the garden. My brother was wearing wellies and I succeeded in annoying the absolute fuck out of him. He kicked me in the leg, but to make my pain more dramatic, I put my hands in my groin area and bent over. I held my breath and didn't say anything and made the most ridiculous face. My brother panicked and didn't know what to do, if mum and dad ever found out about the "damage" to my untouched testicles my brother would have his own removed. Heh.

The roles have been reversed these days, a youth of being banged on the head with snooker cues and various other household items has made me near impossible to hurt. Both of my brothers cannot defeat me in a long slog of knuckles, for example.

Meh. Bit of a crappy entry. Ho hum.
(Fuzzy, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 0:21, Reply)

I punched
my older brother on his arm just after he'd had his BCG - he cried like a little girl - I laughed my arse off until I got battered by my mum.

Also, when he was particularly annoying, I would hit myself really really hard, just for the sound really and shout out 'Ow, Glen, what did you do that for?' - it never failed to get him into trouble. The joys of being the youngest child and only girl....
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 20 Aug 2005, 0:10, Reply)

I
broke my sister's arm... But it really wasn't like that! We were 'playing' on the bouncy castle. Funny thing is, she complained but no one listened, and I took great delight in leaning on it in the car. She went to the hospital finally the next day to find it was broken.
(hyhyhyhyhyugyubj, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 23:18, Reply)

My older brother loves to be in authority...
and I love to show him he has none. One night for a silly reason I wound him up to the point he snapped and he finally punched me, after years of promising...I snapped too, and reached for the 12inch gully knife my mum uses to chop vegetables and embedded it in the fridge door beside his head

He turned white....and he has backed down in every argument we have ever had since.
( Bamboo Steamer, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:56, Reply)

My sister used to jump and stamp on my tummy
To try and make me loose my 'puppyfat' as a kid
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:44, Reply)

padlock
i got made mad at my brother for something probably completely pointless and threw a padlock at him. Hit the bastard right in the soft spot behind the ear, advantage me. This was after i missed him with a giant wooden mallet.
(KingScott, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:36, Reply)

It's hammer time.
This isn't so much me hurting a sibling as it is my sibling hurting me because of my own stupidity. I was three, my brother five. our parents were having a dinner party upstairs while we were in the basement playing. for my brother, playing was swinging a hammer around, and for me, it was trying to run under the hammer when he wasn't looking. the result being me smashed in the face with a hammer and having to go to the hospital. All this the day before i had to go to the hospital anyways for surgery for my undropped ball.
(KingScott, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:32, Reply)

Garden Forks?
My sister and I were out in the garden one sunny day (Don't get many here...) I was using the big garden fork and she had a little hand trowel.

She kept asking for a shot, but as she is seven years younger I knew she shouldn't get it.

I had to go in for something (can't remember what) I told her not to touch the fork (big mistake)

As soon as I got inside I heard a massive scream! She'd lifted the fork high in the air, went to bang it into the ground when her little foot got in the way!

She managed to put one of the spikes right through her foot, luckily it missed anything vital but I got the mother of all rows when our folks came out.
(Teddy Bear, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:21, Reply)

Look at her go!!
One time, many moons ago i was out in the garden playing with my sister. Mummy in the kitchen doing mummy work.

After a while Mum heard me laughing with some other noise in the background, through she comes to find me sitting on the floor in front of the tumble dryer, watching my sister go round through the glss door! I was laughing my arse off!!

Problem was the her weight in the dryer made the drum move down and trap the door so it wouldn't open. One crowbar later and my fun was over. I had one very hot and dizzy sister, but i did manage to make her wellies melt together with the heat!

From there things went kind of normal like fights playing snooker, she threw a ball at me, so i hit her in the face with the fat end of the snooker cue.

Normal kids stuff!
(tribal tiger, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 22:09, Reply)

My first time playing in snow
I took a handful of snow and started forming it into a snowball. I didn't realize that several minutes of compacting snow will turn it into a rock hard ball of ice the size of a baseball. Then I slammed it into her back as hard as I could. Left quite a bruise.
(Hairy Midget, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 21:56, Reply)

My mate's brother
Told her that some rabbit droppings were chocolate.

Yes, she did eat them.
(Pachey, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 21:46, Reply)

Not mine but
A girl told her sister that dolls used to be real little girls. Their fathers turned them into dolls when they were naughty.
(Pachey, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 21:45, Reply)

pft..
my brother is three. to annoy him when hes being bad. i give him a wedgie. a big one two. he cries untill i pull it out
(leftehhhh, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 21:42, Reply)

More mental torture
I lay down on my brothers bed once (as you do) and to my horror the pillow was crackly. Upon investigation I discovered a pretty tame jazz mag tucked inside the pillowcase. It looked about 20 years old and really dog eared, and considering he was only 13 at the time, it was probably borrowed from a school friend.

"Hmmm", I thought to myself, "which is better, public humilation or private turmoil?".

I decided on private turmoil and carefully blacked out all the tits and fannys and gave them all beards before replacing it.

He never did mention it, but he was really stroppy for a while.
(Peelmytangerines, Fri 19 Aug 2005, 21:31, Reply)