PYTHON
I've always been a python fan, but when i was nine or ten i was absolutely rabid, and could recite every word of almost every sketch.

At about this age we went for a long holiday stay with my uncle in surrey one summer. I befriended a boy from the village of the same age as me, whose father was one of the location unit directors in Monty Python and the holy grail. When he found out what a python nerd i was, he gave me a keepsake which he took from the set, which i have to this day. It is the brush with which Brian was made to write 'Romani Ite Domum' a hundred timed on the side of the Palace.
(muffrat, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 21:57, Reply)

Robert Rankin, Brian May and the Etruscans
Last year I got Rankin to sign a plate from the buffet, this year he signed the Fool from my tarot cards.

I have some emails from Brian May. Very, very wooyayriferous.

And, I have a plastic bag full of Etruscan and Roman pottery shards shoved in a drawer in my coffee table. There are two matching loom weights on top of the telly cabinet.
(frookah, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 21:55, Reply)

a rat on a piece of stone
I came second in a talent scout and won a plastic rat glued to some piece of rock and it's (poorly) sprayed in silver. And it makes a noize when you squeeze it. And that's what I won for writing a story. Damn, life sucks.

Oh, I also have a piece of the Red Square in Moskou. It's a stone. I should throw it away. Some day. Not now. Because it annoys my girlfriend.
( kingjay umpfh, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 20:40, Reply)

weird shit....
...i got a piece of the toilet from the first meteorite museum in the world.....
There, that shut you all up! Not one comment! Probably because the post is crap too
(entropydave hates unnecessary commas on, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 20:33, Reply)

i have got a beermat...
signed by phil taylor. i dont know why, but about a year ago he played darts at my local pub
(titwankfuckdick, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 18:56, Reply)

A small dead child...
...before i got to him, he was quite the family favourite. I used to watch him get home from school. He'd walk home along the windy towpath, and i would casually stroll along behind him,fumbling with myself in my jacket pockets. He'd arrive home, and tell his parents about his day. Through the window i could see the glee on their faces as he announced another aced exam, or showed them another good report. Some days hed walk home with friends. I'd go home desolate those cold evenings, and have to console myself hiding in the bushes outside his bedroom window.

Eventually, when i felt this relationship was starting to fall apart (he'd changed his route home), I jumped and threw a black bin liner over his head, hoisted it over my shoulder and took him to the quarry. It only took a few minutes, but now hes always there for me, just beyond the click of the basement lock.
(lifelikeandposeable, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 17:31, Reply)

Melinda Messenger...
I've got a signed Melinda Messenger T Shirt - I was wearing it as she signed it. She's very short but has magnificent breasts - they have to be seen to be believed. She seems to favour tops about 10 sizes too small. This is sad, but I got very excited at the time for some reason.

I also got a bruise from John Barnes when I played football against him a few years back. I couldn't work out how to keep it though...

Oh and an ex got me Johnny Ball's autograph. She gave it to me then dumped me 30 seconds later. Bitch.
(FiatPanda, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 17:29, Reply)

A signed Best Of The Beast Iron Maiden album
by Dennis Stratton, their former guitarist.

He played literally ten minutes from my house last night. Good evening's entertainment.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 17:26, Reply)

A bit crap but....
I've got Depeche Mode's autograph.
And I've framed it.
(weirzbowski, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 17:25, Reply)

i've got ....
... a cocktail stirrer that looks like a hula girl that i nicked from the set of a movie in Phnom Penh, Cambodia!
Who's bar? Gerard Depardieu's bar! (in the movie that is).
Whose movie? Matt Dillon's movie! ooooooh!
I've also got a fluorescent mask signed by Ken Kesey (Merry Prankster and writer of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest)
Oh... and a broken gas mask from Israel that they used when Saddam chucked scuds at them in '91.
nearly forgot!... a tiny piece of marble that fell out of the ceiling of the Taj Mahal, right at my feet... looked up, looked down again, looked around, no-one noticed... in my pocket it went!!!
two small pieces of pottery that were lying on the ground at a 10th century temple in Laos (which has probably cursed my for life!)
a wrist-string given to me by the Dalai Lama (which might just lift the curse?)
(Ferradura pitching curveballs from leftfield, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 16:57, Reply)

Not me, but my wife....
Has an odd collection of Zoo tour guide type things. One is for London Zoo and is dated 1907 and is in very good condition.

It makes for an interesting read*.

*could be a lie.

Apologies for this not being either amusing or interesting.
( Goldfish_, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 16:36, Reply)

Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer
I went to see the 'Big Night out' live show. After the show finished, I went to the bar, drank some cups of beer, went back into the theatre and I managed to 'borrow' a big plastic pie that was featured on the 'What's that on the end of the Stick Vic?' part of the show.
( Toma_o, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 15:52, Reply)

I have
a bottle opener that I stole from the Mayor of Reitberg on a foreign exchange trip when i was 13.
( backrubslut - treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 15:23, Reply)

I know (edit: KNEW) a bloke.....
.... who was overjoyed by loosing his V-Plates. The next morning as he recounted the story, he put his hand into his coat pocket and withdrew the condom he'd used, vowing that he'd never throw it away. A year later the fetid bastard proved he still had it... This was his attemmpt to stop the taunting.

He was last seen wearing unreasonable amounts of Burberry. Nuff said.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 10 Nov 2004, 14:55, Reply)

Not sure why.
Drew John Major a picture of dolphins, accompanying a letter saying... something about... something thatwas endangering them, when I was about five or so.

I got a letter back saying he'd stuck it to his office wall from one of his aide type people, and it's still framed in the downstairs loo.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 14:36, Reply)

I used to have...
...a firestick carved by Ray Mears, but my ex-girlfriend's got it now :(
(town, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 14:31, Reply)

I have a picture of Mitch Benn (Bill Bailey but bigger) pulling a face at me
after my friends and I harrassed him at the bar after his set at a comedy club.
I also have a good one of him with a friend in a headlock.
(monkeyfu, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 14:02, Reply)

kids stuff
I once wrote little ted a letter (with help) and got a nice card back with the playschool logo on the front and a balloon as well.

Also met and got signed a copy of thomas the tank engine signed by the bloke who wrote it somewhere.
(inkworm, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 13:58, Reply)

Orange Juicie
I have Anita Bryant's autograph. She was the one you remember who got dumped from the Florida orange juice board when she went on a rampage against "sodomites and pervents" and tried to get a lot of anti-gay laws through. I went with a bunch of flaming queens who quoted the more favorable parts of the Bible and fawned over her, making her visibly uncomfortable. I think she signed just to get rid of us.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 13:16, Reply)

Braveheart
Mate of mine was working as an extra on Prince Valiant. They had loads of prop stuff from Braveheart, so he managed to get his grubby hands on the axe they execute Wallace with at the end of the film. It's not even one of those crappy rubber ones but real wood and steel!
(Monkeyhanger, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 13:12, Reply)

Not a funny post but,
I have a signed photograph of Sir Barnes Wallace of 'bouncing bomb' fame. Spirit of the dam busters and all that. Also A copy of his biography, signed inside the front cover.

I also have an eclectic collection of airline safety cards, unashamedly stolen from any aircraft I travel on – I also tell anyone I know to bring one back for me if they are going on holiday. I’m a really subversive bastard you see. Not so much memorabilia, just useless tat.
( Goldfish_, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 12:22, Reply)

I have
a polystyrene snowball that I nicked when I was on Tiswas as a little lad.
( routine has perfected burgers, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 10:02, Reply)

I'm from Glasgow and...
I've got Billy Connolly's sense of humour circa 1980.

"BUM!"

"JOBBIE!!"

"WILLY!!!"

See? Told you.
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 9:37, Reply)

I had an american friend when I was about 8.
He gave me a small pot which he claimed contained ash from the Mount St Helen's eruption in 1980. Obviously this is true as there's nowhere else a small jam jar full of ash could come from.....

The little bastard.
(l0fth0use - skip to the end..., Wed 10 Nov 2004, 8:29, Reply)

my wall
so one time i built this wall, all well and good you say, but it became quite famous cos people kept climbing on it so naturally i had to shoot them off it a bit, now no one really climbs on it any more but its all gone cos some bloody buggers keep nicking bits off it.


deutchland deutchland etc...
(mr ruffles, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 2:15, Reply)

Rawk!
I have an [insert boring pub-related item] I nicked from the [musical instrument] player from [obscure punk/grunge band] when they played a gig in the [pub name] in [middle england suburb].

The person [died/faded into obscurity] about [some random period of time] ago.
(alfwine buggerbridge, Wed 10 Nov 2004, 1:19, Reply)

can i just say....
mini rant
If everyone crumbled bits off the Colliseum, Gaudi's buildings, the moon...
there wouldn't be anything left for the rest of us to appreciate.

I think I will track you down and start a craze of pulling your homes to pieces
end mini rant
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 23:38, Reply)

Robert L Forward
First, confession time. Yes, I'm the kind of guy who goes to SF conventions. (But not very often.)

Anyway, I was at the 1990 worldcon in The Hague, and went to a talk by Bob Forward (famous prognosticator and author), in which he said that he would send more info to people who left their name and address. I did so, and folded a 10 guilder note (about £3) into my scribbled address note to cover postage, copying etc.

I got a great letter back from him, written by hand in purple ink, saying how nice it was to meet someone considerate enough to cover his costs, how the others were only getting a summary paper, and about 150 pages of papers about plausible and not-so-plausible starship drives.

Top bloke, but very sadly now no longer with us.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 23:11, Reply)

Coo I just remembered
When I was 10 or 11 I was in the Christmas pantomime in Cambridge as a small dancing thing. It had Jet the Gladiator in it (she was the genie I seem to recall?)and I have a luvverly signed program somewhere.

It also had some twunt from heartbreak high in it playing Aladdin. We thought it was brilliant when he broke his wrist pissing around :D
(BlackCat, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 23:01, Reply)