Funny story
if violent robbery amuses you. Was in Cairns a few years back doing a scuba diving course at the end of six months travelling. After a couple of days out on the reef everyone went out for a meal and drinks.

Walking back to my hostel in a wobbly drunk/sea-legs manner I noticed I was being followed. No problem I think, I'm just a minute or so from my hostel. At least I would have been if I hadn't taken a wrong turn. A few minutes on and the guys behind me seem to be closing in when I spot a petrol station across the street.

I'm about to run for it when one of them whacked be on the back of the head with something, I can still remember the ringing sound. I wasn't knocked out but the details of what followed are a bit hazy. All I really know is that 2 guys were walking away from me and my wallet was $50 lighter.

Even better I then had to pay $100 to have the cut on my head stitched up. Still, I got an arrow-head shaped scar on the back of my head so it's not all bad.
(The Sun King, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:35, Reply)

Sorry for the non-sequitor
I've been living in a "rough" part in NYC for 2 years now. Not once have I been mugged. If anything, we're all (if not most of us) a charming bunch of citizens, well sort of, just don't cut us off both in a conversation and while driving. When I first arrived here I seriously believed that my Subway(tunnel) rides would be filled with unpleasent shankings. Again sorry for not having a story...though my freind's girlfreind threw her mug at me, I was mugged then.
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:28, Reply)

another mate also in hyde park
short n sweet

walking cross hyde park in leeds smoking a ciggy, approached by youth, "give us yer fags and yer money student" to which my mate retorted "i'll put the fucker out in your eye yer cheeky little twat" it's amazing how the accent can really get the point across, they buggered off apologising..

sorry it's crap as well but also true
(geckoboy, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:20, Reply)

My beating.
When I was just a young lad I went in a walk-through fun house and about mid-way through where they show the scary ghost in the electric chair with some strobe lights, some enterprising young chaps of African descent took it upon themselves to demand my money. But being a boy of about 11 and not having any money on me or a wallet and having explained this to them, they decided it would be better resolved by punching me in the face several times.

I learned two lessons that day: firstly, always carry money, because it annoys potential muggers if you don't, and secondly, the term "fun house" is sometimes a bit of a misnomer.
(KansaiKitsune offers little girls rides in his Tardis., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:11, Reply)

bastard chavs in leeds..
i have had three attempted muggings in Leeds over the years, i can't be arsed telling you about them all so i choose this one....picture if you will hyde park in leeds, november 1990, a cold moonless night, me an my mate a bit worse for lsd,speed and a lot of weed, trying to get to a party in chapletown...we binned that idea when we started to hallucinate a bit and convinced ourselves we were in london, oh yeh and i was robocop or something.. interesting..anyhoo we decided to walk back to my flat in armley past the newlands..(sorry if place names make no sense, just insert names of places your familiar with)we were approached by two hoodie youth with a walk that either means you have a bone disorder or a stone in your shoe, "give us your money yer fucking students" they said, hands in hoodie top pockets obviously holding something pointy..me and my mate looked at each other, then them, then each other, then back to them, the lads were clearly getting agitated at this point,well we laughed our heads off, almost wetting myself i said to them(leeds dulcet tones) "are you right in your heads?? you don't know who you'll bump into on a night like this, in the dark, now fuck off before i kick your heads in" we turned and continued on our technicolour way home.. dull i know but true,, all the times i have been approached by snidey little fucks like that, my fist reaction is total indignation, rapidly followed by an urge to kill them..
MORAL: stay in or learn how to look after yourself...
(geckoboy, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 19:09, Reply)

Chavs
Once upon a time, there were two little boys called Stuart and Simon. They were sat in the university doing revision on their laptops like well-behaved boys do. When all of a sudden an evil chav who had his hands down his pants playing with his erection, came up to them. He demanded their laptops, and threatened to shoot them.

The boys packed up their laptops and walked away, then reported the silly chav and his mates to security.

The end

and the moral of todays story? Chavs...complete cnuts.

-----------------------------------------------------------

In a unsuccessful sequel to this amazing story, the boys recieved a visit off the police and had to write an incident report. Which can be seen here!
( SocialRobot, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:58, Reply)

Discerning muggers
A couple of years ago, an ex housemate of mine got mugged for his mobile phone, whilst making a call.

The mugger took one look at the house brick he'd just grabbed, handed it back, saying 'you're alright mate, you can keep it.'
(TooMuchCoffee Lies about having too much coffee, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:46, Reply)

I was mugged in November.
Was walking back to my student house from my best mates, who lives just round the ocrner from me and It was quiet so I thought I'd be ok.

2 louts walking down the street I live and crossed the road, passing me... or so i thought. One barged at me with his shoulder, almost knocking me off me feet and grabbed my bag. Without thinking I held on (only for about 5 seconds but it seemed like for ages) and he pushed and pulled me to get it, punching me hard in the eyebrow when i finaly got sence to let go. My phone fell on the ground in pieces and he made a lunge like he was going to kick me but he just walked off with his mate. I somehow mangaged to get my grit/puddle water phone together to phone my friend and was in a right state.

It was very lucky I had decided to leave my Ds at his house before I left. Lost my favorite bag, bloody decent headphones, my new leather purse with all my cards in and my keys (luckily I want too near my house and the locks were changed 2 days later)

Moral of the story, Dont walk alone late, keep your head up and dont look vonerable and keep important stuff like keys/mobile/walet in pockets.

Not a funny post. I had flashbacks for ages, and I was lucky to escape with just a bump in the head.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:35, Reply)

As a student back in late 1997/early 1998 I was mugged a total of 3 times...
third time lucky to come out of it alive (knife involved in a big way), and all for £15.

After the third time, decided enough was enough, quit Uni, came back, got myself through my qualifications during a part time course a few months later and now run a company as director and company secretary, and freelance as a Higher Ed. lecturer, a mere 8 years later... AND I met the lovely present Mrs. Architect a few months after it all happened, so I wouldn't change it for the world.

I like to think the cnuts that mugged me are either dead from shooting up in Bolton's public loos on the profits of my £15 or worse still, working in Mcdonalds.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:34, Reply)

Two attempts in one day!
When I was just a young girl, I went to a wildlife park. I was wearing a little black velvet skirt, that I really liked. I wore it just about everywhere. I was in the children's petting zoo, when a really big, really scary goat came up right in front of me. Backing away from that goat, I felt a tug on the amazing black velvet skirt. I looked down, and there was a much smaller goat. He (or she, i'm not quite sure) had eaten about half of the amazing black velvet skirt. I have never liked goats to this day.

Just a few minutes later, I was standing by a tractor waiting for the rest of my family, who had gone off somewhere, when a couple of girls came up to me. I had a small bag, which had a purse with about three pounds in it. Bearing in mind that this was all the money I had for the whole week, and I was very little, it seemed like a small fortune to me. So anyway, these girls, about twice my size, start asking me for money. I turn around and scream "NOOO!!" in their faces. I then continue to give them a big speech about how upset I was at that moment in time, before running off to find my mum.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:31, Reply)

Bus stop
Once in a bus stop on a high street with about 20 others (all waiting for the same wretched bus) two drunks rolled across the road dodging the oncoming traffic that was quickly stopping for them before deciding that they would 'Mug' the bus queue by standing on the edge of the pavement yelling 'GIVE US YOU MONEY!!' at the queue who used stared at them before a bus appeared. Everyone pilled on except for the drunks who were left standing there in shock that everyone had just vanished. It was quite funny pulling faces through the window at them as we sped off into the night!!!
Sorry for length
(The lord Boo., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:27, Reply)

Re-Mugged
Recently I was having lunch at my friend Jay's restaurant. He came out of the back and was fuming after discovering that his car was broken into, and 50 CDs and $60 were taken. In broad daylight - and probably no less than a half an hour ago. Now myself and another friend (Matt) who was also present, we're what you might call vigilantes - we solve problems.

Immediately I got on the horn and called up a lady-friend who had just left the restaurant ten minutes prior, and told her the situation. I asked her to give descriptions of everybody she noticed in the back lane where Jay's car was parked. With a handful of possible suspects, Matt and I quickly made for my car and went for a drive to see if we can find anybody matching those descriptions.

We were in luck. A few blocks up I noticed two young boys, maybe 12 or 13 years old crossing the street and stopping at a bus stop. I pulled the car into a nearby lot, and I told Matt to go north while I go around and catch them from the south, and we confronted them. After a quick exchange, Matt notices that the taller kid had an odd looking wrinkle in his shirt, and quickly reached forward and extracted a CD wallet. After a quick flip through, we confirmed that it was Jay's. I promptly ordered the plump one to produce his wallet, and found the missing cash. Having recovered the pilfered goods, we decided to scare the boys straight, so I began to slap the dough-boy on the forehead with his wallet while grilling him on why it wasn't a good idea to steal from cars - and especially to do so in broad daylight. The other one was becoming extremely anxious and pulled a package of cigarettes out and began to light one, which Matt quickly snatched away while explaining the evils of smoking in such a way that had Health Canada been watching, they'd have hired him on the spot. We kept this up until their bus (the last one of the day) had passed on by, leaving them with a long walk home all teary-eyed.

So, items returned to their rightful owner, two young criminals scared straight and left to walk home, and free smokes for the good guys. Unfortunately, they were crappy American discount menthol smokes, but they were still smokes. And free.

I'm sure the casual observer may have seen it as a pair of 25-year old men in expensive suits robbing two innocent young boys...
( Hosehead, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:26, Reply)

Stay back - I know wing chun*
And I do! Its great fun, I have a big circle of friends who I meet up with regularly and hit each other, choke each other, throw each other around, etc... anyway:

I was walking home from work this winter just gone, minding my own business as you do, and some drunk/junkie looking guy takes it upon himself to attack me. In restrospect I believe a driving factor may have been 'white headphone syndrome', as I was listening to my nano.

Anyway, it was so completely random, and so much like being in class, that I just kept moving and covering, and moving around some more, until he just sort of gave up, and walked off shouting something at me.

To this day I have no idea what he was on about, as the whole time I had my headphones in, and was listening to 'Dirty Blue Jean' by Captain Beefheart. The whole thing was completely hatstand and, once the fucking MEGA adrenaline rush had died down I really enjoyed the whole thing.

Thank you very much Kamon Wing Chun for allowing me to not take a kicking.

*/Howard Moon
( Liquid Crystal, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:25, Reply)

Last one
A street in Havana, Cuba. Me and three friends, walking along quite leisurely on the pavement. One friend is holding her shoulder bag by the straps in her hand instead of, er, over her shoulder. I'm walking at the back of the group, my bag friend at the front. La la, walking along, all's fine.

A quite elderly man is walking very slowly towards us on the same pavement. La dee da, lovely day.

The elderly man veeeerrryyy slowly begins to bend over as he shuffles forwards. Maybe he has cramp. Laa, shiny sun, lovely.

Elderly man is starting to bend his knees as he walks. Crikey, maybe he's having some kind of seizure. I don't know the spanish for 'defribullator', so on with the laalaa doodaa, sunshine good.

Elderly man is now shuffling along, bent over, bent knees, and is slowly putting his arm out. Now that's plain odd, I think, we should just move round him. The other's will see, la dee da, never mind, ooh look, nice retro sign over there.

Elderly man shuffles forwards a little further and reaches for my friend's bag straps.

Huh?

My friend, busy until now herself with sunshine, retro signs and the lovely day, looks down and sees and elderly man shuffling and holding her bag straps. Confused, she pulls her bag away. He tugs back, still shuffling along. She pulls a bit harder. He tugs again.

He's still shuffling along, holding the bag straps, only in the opposite direction from us now. My friend, still very confused about the speed, or lack of, that this is happening, pulls once more and frees her bag from his grip.

The elderly man scowls, shuffles along at the same excruciatingly slow speed, and begins to unfold himself once more.

My friend later described the 'attack' as having a vague nightmarish quality, a creepy slowness of time etc..

The rest of us though, back at the bar, later toasted the "World's Slowest Mugging".
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:24, Reply)

why i dont like ostriches
when i was 4 one of the ostriches at edinburgh zoo stole my idiot gloves (the ones with the string that attaches them together). they were crocodile gloves as well (teeth, eyes and tongue, completely awesome), i was gutted.
still dont like them.
(sarcasticgirl, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:17, Reply)

I'm a mong, but i'm a mong with a memory
Back in the summery lovely mornings of err 1997 I was a paperboy who every morning did his round, and got paid buggered all for it. Hurrah.

One morning a lad asked me for the time, not realising immediately the fact theres a big bloody clock at the end of the street, I pulled out my phone and told him the time.

A few minutes later I wander up the backstreet to deliver more, the guy was still at the bottom and partook in some random conversation with loud voices about how it was a nice morning and such... then asked where I had to head off to. I pointed far over, with a big "SHIT AINT IT!" face.

Five minutes later I made it up there and crossed the road to see the guy there... next to a car. Eh? He's looking for a road, and asks if it might be in that quiet little estate off the main road.

Now I'm a bit thick, but not that thick. Told him that the street was DEFINITELY not down there, couldn't help him and rather nervously moved off to the next house.

He followed me into the house's yard and mugged right outside their front door, in broad daylight, in front of a street! Demanded my phone, he pointed to his mates in the car.. gave him that.. then asked for my coat. Now this coat was new, and I liked it.. so I toldhim to fuck off. He didn't expect this, got a bit flustered and told me to bugger off and not look back.

What he didn't know was that I have a photographic memory, so I already knew the car colour, make and most of the reg plate.

Little bastard got reported good and proper
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:08, Reply)

ENGERLAND ENGLERLAND ENGERLAND.
Some years ago, (1992) during the european cup, english football fans decided to enter a pissing-contest with the locals.

Malmö, Swedens biggest southern city was the Scene of one such clash. The swedish fans apparently put up a bit of resistance, but Swedes in generaly shy away from confrontation, and are a nice, quiet peace-loving people. The full force of English lager-fuelled hooliganism swept through them effortlessly. The Swedish Riot police were then overcome, as Teh English supporters did what they do best when abroad.

They then proceeded to take the town to pieces.

Now.. This was a dark day for england, but it has a spin-off effect.

Noone wants to fight a Brit: They assume that you're an un-hinged fighting machine with fists of fury, and a penchant for battering people with cobble-stones.

Proof:

While Exiting one of the parks, My friend went ahead, as i stashed the rug in the rucksack... I caught up with him as some meat-head knuckle-dragging missing-link was talking to him. Matey looked a little perturbed.

Me "What's going on"
Matey "This guy's trying to make me give him money"

Meathead looks a little worried. I'm many things, but the one that was important was the fact that i'm built like a brick shit-house.

Meathead "Erm... Are you English?"
ME "Yes, were you trying to take money from Matey here?"
Meathead "Uh.. I was only Joking.. What's your favourite football team then" (favourite question, thought to pacify brits)
Me "Don't try and get out of this one pal, I don't like football, i just go for the fights"

Meathead and his sidekick decided that it was time to run as i grinned at them.

I can't fight for shit. My size and strength comes from mountain biking and rock climbing... and i genuinely hate football.

YAY for stereotypes.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 18:06, Reply)

Aah, just remembered this.
Back in '99, my uni organised a trip to New York. Weirdly, it's the only city I've ever felt safe in, even in the hairy parts (the trick is to carry something in your hand, wear headphones to look like you're used to the place, scowl at tourists and make conversation with anyone you inadvertently make physical contact with. I was bothered once, and all it took was a fierce scowl and a 'look at this, will ya?!' nod to some stanger across the street to send the kid running.)

Anyhoo, there were two other girls on this trip, both 'money', with Mulberry bags bought for the trip (?!) and one brain cell between them. Home counties valley girls, if you will. They took the fast train uptown instead of the slow one, and ended up quite a bit past 110th st at a very rundown station full of shiftys. They got off the train, totally lost, and unable to find out how to get back downtown. Then they noticed someone following them. They took some more turns. So did he. They sped up. So did he. They realised he was black, and decided they were going to be raped and mugged if they stopped walking. They took a turn and ended up at a locked gate. Mulberry bags aloft, ready to strike, the guy rounded the corner.

"Ladies, I've been tyring to get your attention - didn't you see me? I didn't want to shout and draw attention. You are SO in the wrong place, let me show you the platform for downtown"

Stupid, stupid cows.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:57, Reply)

Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee
(as most of these will start) I had been out on the lash with my housemates and, typically, the long walk home stretched all our bladders to bursting point.

Despite mine being conker-hard and as big as a saucepan, fortunately I wasn't in John Wayne territory yet, so I managed to sprint home from the end of the street and reach the can first.

I vastly enjoyed the feeling of relieving what must have been several gallons at immense pressure, and I began to ponder what it might be like to piss if I were a hippo. My flatmates were having none of this deliberation, and their hammering at the door brought me out of my trance with a jolt. A jolt somehow big enough for me to pull the cistern lid, on which I was leaning, down into the bowl, cracking it clean in half, spilling steaming piss everywhere and rendering the toilet facility inoperable.

Knowing that 3 flatmates desperate for number twos would lynch me if they saw this, I panicked and legged it past them, off to my girlfriend's house. Fortunately I got a decent headstart as they were laughing so uncontrollably about the obvious assumption that some huge explosive force from my ringpiece had caused the porcelain destruction.

g/f house was a bus ride away, and while I was waiting for the bus, 2 identical, humungous, doorman-like figures accosted me and in unison requested that I hand over my wallet, or they'd stab me. Obviously I was so freaked out by these magically linked twins that I had to oblige, and leg it back home to hide under my bed.. and obviously I got a good beating rather than any sympathy.

On the upside, it was one of those nights where the contents of your wallet get distributed amongst your pockets randomly. So all that was left in the wallet was £5 mugger's tax, explaining why I am here today and not just another student who got stabbed outside Manchester Royal Infirmary.

The next day it was explained to me that it is possible to be mullered enough to see double. I still think there were two of them though. You believe me don't you?
( rangelife, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:56, Reply)

Not me, but my little sister
21 years old and very petite was on her way into town to catch the bus home from work through some dark and usually empty streets when some scrote ran past and tried to grab her bag from her shoulder. Without really thinking about it she held on tight and as he turned to face her she punched him in the face (by the sound of it breaking his nose). He then ran off and she ran in the opposite direction. Sadly she managed to fracture her wrist but I was still proud of her.
( nick the greek, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:54, Reply)

hmm
bad one - my friend's boyfriend was on the tube when a couple of kids walked over, beat the sh*t out of him and stole everything he had on him. A bit later on in the evening, they tried the same with another bloke on the same line only this time they stabbed him a few times. Bloke nearly died from blood loss, my friend's boyfriend still has the scars across his face from the assault. The kids got caught.

slightly less bad - a deaf friend was walking through town one night on his way home, when suddenly something smacked him across the face. Turned out some crazy had been waiting there for ages for someone to walk past, and had sadly got the one person who couldn't hear him coming. The one problem - the place he chose to do this was opposite the police station. Which had a load of bobbies in it, watching. Apparently, they'd been watching him for a while and figured this guy might do something like this, but they couldn't arrest for intent, so just watched, in the foyer, until he actually did something. Said 'something' involved stitches running down most of my mate's face and concussion. Still, my friend thinks they make him look 'heavy', and the scars came in handy during some hairy moments in South America.

stupid - my brother got mugged, aged 12 on the local common. About 10 blokes in their twenties. They took his trick-or-treating sweets. And his vampire mask. Marvellous.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:36, Reply)

Picture the scene
Two young lads, skipping through their local park, minding thier own business, as 8 year olds do.

At this point a large, acne covered, branded tracksuit covered teenbeast advances on them and goes straight for a demand.

Fearfully, the two kids reach for their meager pocket money and one for a phone.

"Quickly, Quickly!" Bellows the Mugger.
"Excuse me?" I asked, tapping the man on the shoulder.

He span round, fists ready for the fool who'd interupted his easy pickings.

And then the branch thumped him in the face. I'd never actually knocked someone of their feet before, and I must say, I enjoyed the feeling. I wish people would try to mug my little brother more while I'm nearby.
(Lofn and Idun, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:33, Reply)

Not my story, but friends'
Many years ago we had a little tradition in our club. After the Saturday class we'd all troop off to the pub and either get mashed there or wander further off for a meal.

This was going to be a meal and after a few beers and couple of the guys decided to dump their stuff before joining us for the meal. So off they troop across the park (a shortcut).

This must have been about 1800 in the Autumn. Not day time, but certainly not dark. Unfortunately they were accosted by 12 blokes who probably assumed they pair were shirt-lifters (this was a few years ago and the park was rife for cottaging and gay-bashing).

Unfortunately for the 12 blokes concerned (and one in particular) the pair weren't out cottaging; they were on their way to dump their kit in a flat.

Said kit being a variety of heavy wooden training weapons and the pair being dans grades in a few arts.

The 12 encircled the pair and the more experienced of the two realised that things weren't going to be pleasant, so decided to fight rather than try to flee. The first one of the 12 to get close had his face stoved in for his troubles with some stout oak and, facing two rather angry (armed) men, with one of their compatriots face down in the dirt screaming in pain; the rest legged it.

Morals of the story:
- Crime does not pay.
- People carrying fishing bags are not alway fishermen.
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:33, Reply)

Way back in January 1982
My mate Larry and I were attending a meeting in London and had just arrived at Liverpool Street station. As we got off the train we were greeted by the sight and sound of hundreds of football fans, Tottenham Hotspurs supporters if you're interested, and they were running riot. There were only a handful of police about as I think it must have only just kicked off. We decided to turn around and cross the bridge to get away from them. About six supporters had spotted us and had decided to come after us and give us a good kicking and the names they were calling us. Well, how rude. What they didn't know was Larry and I had recently completed our Royal Marrines training and had been transfered to the Special Boat Service where we had undergone further extreme training and had both come through with over 90%. Larry was and still is a huge and powerful bloke and I was and still am relatively tiny at 6 foot and 15 stone. We were both dressed in suits and I think we we more worried about getting them torn than anything else. After all we had gone through, a handful of silly skinheads were not going to get in the way.

I told Larry to turn into the ally near the staircase as we had both sussed out the situation. Within just a few seconds the supporters turned into the ally and came face to face with Larry and a fire extinguisher which came to a sudden DONK! as it bounced off one of their heads. [INSERT FRACAS HERE] Anyway, the outcome was 6-0 to us with suits intact. One of these knobheads ended up on the track, another was crying like a baby, rolling around on the ground with a compound fracture of his arm and the others manAged to fuck off. Oh I nearly forgot, the retard that got hit with the fire extinguisher was laying spread-eagled on the floor unconcious and either the extinguisher had discharged a little, or he had pissed in his pants. We made our retreat across the bridge and left the shit for someone else to clear up. Well, we were running a little late now. We are both 53 now and I work in the music business. Larry, on the other hand works as a bouncer at some of Glasgow's hardest pubs and if you are the chav who thought it would be a good idea to stick one on him, then now you know why you ended up, upside down in a fish shop's biffa bin.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:30, Reply)

Dam you barnyard animals
I think this class's as a mugging.

When i was a mere chit of a girl (i.e. three) with cheek of tan and blonde curls crammed uner my fave basball cap, my mummy and aunt took me to Gullivers World. Oh how i happyily slurped my ice cream while looking at the barnyard animals. Little did i know a stinky wee goat had made designs on my cap! Suddenly a set of teeth clamped down on my cap and pulled it clean away. No, i thought. No no and thrice more no! I dropped my ice cream and performed a perfect John-Prescot-when-faced-with-a-egg-throwing-protester, thump on the snout.I gritted my teeth and stared in steely determination before subgecting the filthy animal to a flurry of little fists and feet.

I hear the goat is in a hospitol now, all padded cells and the like. I killed it's spirt.

The moral of this tale: It doesnt matter if it's Animal, veg or Mineral, it's doesnt have to be a chav to try and rob you.
(Thats Madam Cock Nose to you., Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:22, Reply)

About the closest I've come to being mugged (so I thought)
I was in downtown Atlanta a few years ago, walking with my morning coffee from my hotel to a convention. Determined to not be targeted as an out-of-towner, I brush up on my big-city dead-ahead tuned-out gaze.

Soon came the inevitable: "Hey! Excuse me, sir?"

Panhandlers. Just ignore them, they usually ask only once.

"Sir? Hey! Sir!"

Persistent, this one. Just ignore, no eye contact, just keep going.

"Sir! Hey sir!" He's right behind me now, so I spin around, ready to fight, amazed that a panhandler/mugger would be that bold on a busy sidewalk.

"WHAT?!?"

"Where'd you get that coffee?"

"There's a Starbucks down the street."

"Hey, thanks, man!" He turns and goes the other way.

Paranoid? Me?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:16, Reply)

A pizza delivery story I heard...
Apparently one driver who worked in a store at another part of town decided to fake a mugging. He phoned up and placed a "bogus" delivery order (in which he was most likely to be delivering himself). He then goes for a drive to a quiet park, stashes the money, eats some of the pizza and tosses the hotbags.

He then went back to the shop and claimed he was mugged. The funny thing to this story is that when the cops went through the shops phone records to follow the evidence they arrested the driver for fraud as the stupid idiot had used his own mobile phone to place the bogus order to begin with....
(Mad_Nashy WHEEEEEE!, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:15, Reply)

hartspark you cynic
Do you not think the man, responding to your obvious displeasure, lied and gave you 10 quid of his own to soften the blow?

If someone picks up a stash of cash then tells the owner they've got it, it's a cert they'll have to give all or none of it back.

That's what I think anyway, there are lots of good people in the world it's just the media reminds us that we're not safe entirly and a news bulletin of "furby makes it to the shops and has quite a good experience being left to his thoughts and enjoying prompt service" wouldn't really interest anyone.

and sorry 'cause this isn't a mugging story.

To make up for it, I was mugged (kindof) in Bath by two blokes who wanted a fag. I'm fairly large but useless and I was going hypo (I'm diabetic) so weak as a kitten. I won a black-eye and further distrust of society but they got nothing and now I live in Prague so living well is the best form of revenge.
(furby, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:09, Reply)

one of my many pizza delivery stories.....
I get a few rough customers every now and then. But one time I think I was close to being mugged. Just as I had delivered some pizzas to a customer at a bunch of flats I was approached by a couple of scruffy looking guys (looked like your typical Aussie bums who smoke and do a few drugs here and there).

They tried to explain this sob story to me about their "car" had broken down somewhere a couple of streets away and wanted my help in jump starting it, suggesting that one of them come with me in my car to show the way to their car for a much needed jump start.

They were very vague about what street their car was on making me suspect somthing dodgy was about to happen. So as they are telling their sob story to me while I was near my car I quietly opened the back and put my hotbag and money in the back and closed the door by the time they finished explaining the situation.

It was only then they realised the effort and drama they'd need to get my now secured money. so when I told them I couldn't help them (as it wasn't part of my job description) they eventually buggered off.

Besides, the local shops were only a couple of streets away (where they could seek assistance). And I didn't see any broken down cars that night either.
(Mad_Nashy WHEEEEEE!, Thu 15 Jun 2006, 17:06, Reply)