Where to begin...
Christ on a bike, lets see...

I was a major wildlife geek at a very early age, I still remember most of the wildlife on 1 series as well as the others.
I was really into military hadware and still am, although I'd probably never use it.
I've played Warhammer and Warhammer 40'000 since I was 11.
I worked for Games Workshop.
I was able to recite all of Eddie Izzards stand up videos word for word, back to back without stopping and with perfect timing.
I have a movie collecion that is slowly taking over my world
I have an anime collection made up of some of the best tv series and movies out there so far.
I'm a HUGE Transformers fan, I have all the current Binaltech and Masterpiece one's as well as my old G1 toys and movie ones.
I have crates full of comics
I have a fair few Graphic Novels
Just about all the books I own are Sci-Fi or Fantasy.
Warhawk player on PS3
World of Warcraft player (too many characters and hours wasted)
Dawn fo War player (loads of fun :D)

I'm sure there's more but I can't think at the moment...
(when_the_tigers_broke_free, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:54, 1 reply)

NERD TEST
Here you go - an easy way to tell if you are indeed an ubernerd.

Points available for the following:

1. You have an obsessive interest in anything deemed 'sad' by the X-Factor-watching populace. This is not limited to sci-fi or computing but also includes folk music, reading books and a love of the Central London tube map.

2. You react to everyday situations by thinking "that would make an excellent QOTW story!".

3. You can speak more than three languages. These languages may or may not be real.

4. You get unparalleled joy from fresh new stationery and practically reach orgasm over pens that write in different colours - my god! The potential for organisation!

5. You were bullied at school.

6. You chose to rise above the bullying, thus earning yourself nastier, more viscious bullying.

7. You wear/have worn any of the following: glasses, braces, a very bad haircut, brown clothes, an anorak, a pinafore, tweed.

8. You have suffered from any of the following: asthma, social rejection, blushing, mental illness, addiction to Radio 4.

9. You have an opinion on Lord of the Rings.

10. You are desperately trying to score full points on this test and/or correct me for my questionnaire shortcomings.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:44, 35 replies)

Star Wars Episode 7 - Man Love
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, the Pink Rebels were fighting a guerilla war against the Evil Empire. The last hope was a young man on the distant planet of Hom, who was about to realise his role in a cosmic battle.

Luke Streetwalker looked up from his toil and saw a figure approaching from the wastelands. Sweat trickled down Luke's back and into the cleft of his smooth, hairless buttocks. Who was this ragged figure silhouetted by the twin suns of Hom? Luke stripped off his shirt and passed a delicate hand over his perky nipples.

"I am Obi One Bignobi," said the old man, releasing a meat python from his robes. "And this is my flesh sabre."

"Coo, look at that!" said Luke, taking the ever-growing sabre in his palm.

"It is an instrument of power and stealth," said the old man as the weapon grew and grew into a throbbing shaft of hardened virility.

Luke ran his fingers up and down the sabre and dropped to his knees...

[anyone interested in reading more...?]
(frankspencer, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:43, 8 replies)

I know fine well...
I will never beat the stuff on here as I am not incredibly geeky in the old fashioned sense.

I'd say I'm more of a nerd, working out stupid complicated ways of sorting something out which in the long run will save time.

So one night at a mates house watching the football. Half time we play some darts, none of us are great at maths so working out our scores and taken it away from you amount was becoming annoying as hell, as well as time consuming.

The second half of the match didn't amuse me, it was shit to be honest. So I sat there whirling in my head how to come up with a simple excel programme to subtracts amounts and have a final amount at the bottom.

I'm sure you are all reading this thinking "that is fucking nothing".

But to my mates at least that made me a complete geek!!!!
(puggs, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:41, Reply)

I have this.
www.mac-emu.net/IMG/gif/guru.gif

on a t-shirt.
(Miggyman, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:40, 5 replies)

Misreported Science
Does anyone else here get really annoyed and frustrated when scientific laws or principles get misquoted or misused in the media?

And when I say really annoyed, I mean annoyed to the point of wanting to write in to correct them. ("Scientifically Offended of Tunbridge Wells") This is why I shouldn't be allowed near things like the BBC Have Your Say website...

EDIT: On the same theme, is anyone else as upset as me when a Horizon program looks really interesting on the advert, and yet, when you watch the damn things it actually tells you nothing you didn't know already?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:39, 9 replies)

Where to start?
Does this count as nerdiness? or am I just an overgrown kid?

I have Transformers from my childhood on display on shelves in my bedroom.

I have all the transformers cartoons on DVD (the ones from 1984 - not the newer ones, Even I have my limits)

I have an official Star wars Tie Fighter pilots helmet which I wear sometimes.

I have a collection of airsoft BB guns and I have an almost autistic level of encyclopedic knowledge when it comes to small arms. When watching films I constantly point out inaccuracies about caliber/ammunition /etc and am pedantic to the point of causing my better half to scream at me. I totally cant help it, or stop myself.

I have perpetrated D&D, and other role playing games including live action roleplay (yes - that involves getting dressed up as a vampire)

I play warhammer 40,000 and other table top battle games. I spend hours painting models to a display level standard and get very excited when new rules/models/armies are released. I almost crack a chubby when I beat my friends at these games.

I'm 33 years old.

Thats it for now (isnt that enough?)

Length? D6 (six sided dice) +2.
(Reptilianoid, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Still nerdy after all these years
I started playing D&D about 1978, not long after it came out. I'm still playing now, every week, with a group of '40-somethings'. It's such wonderful escapism.

I can also admit to truly great nerd-ness. There used to be a UK office for TSR, which was based in Cambridge and represented TSR throughout Europe. We had a warehouse full of stock. I worked there for 2 years. I wasn't one of the designers, I worked in Sales Admin and IT. We did all get to muck in and test stuff, review things and even write some bits. Afternoons or very long lunches spent gaming were not unusual - and normally instigated by Don Turnbull, the UK MD. I had articles published in Imagine magazine and my name even appears in the design credits in some of the old AD&D books and modules. We even got one of every product free. I still have boxes full of the stuff.

I got to meet Gary Gygax, and several of the other 'big names' from the 80s too. He was a nice guy, but there were strong rumours in the company that a lot of the profits ended up going up his nostrils in the form of Columbian marching powder. I have no evidence or opinion of my own on this, I'm merely reporting hearsay from other staff.

I saw him DM and play on several times (yes, we did have an 'in-house' group that played) and he got the rules wrong on occasion - no big deal but nice to know he was a fallible as the next man with his own creation.

My recollection is that he lost control of TSR in the late 80's when the money ran out (the head office once had to fax the MD who was in New York for permission to buy more toilet rolls, money was that tight) and the control ended up with the daughter of the man who created Flash Gordon.

I loved working there, but the money wasn't very good and I had to change job to afford to buy a house, otherwise I would have worked there until they closed the place.
(mad-dog slept with your sister on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Mass Nerder
I own a NES pad belt buckle.
I have The Sword Of Boromir.
I have a Gondorian Infantry Helm.
I have racked up over 500 hours playing Oblivion.
I sometimes wear my Infantry Helm whilst playing Oblivion. (Jesus, that one IS bad!)
I have racked up over 500 hours playing Timesplitters: Future Perfect.
I have been intensely interested in the Napoleonic War since I was 15.
I went mental at my girlfriend for deleting Tron from Sky +.
I once got into a fight in Games Workshop over a poorly painted banner.
I still have Space Crusade & Hero Quest.
I still own the entire collection of Dizzy for the Spectrum ZX.
I rank "Them!" as one of my all time favourite films.
Model Aeroplanes? You know it!
I own a piece of the HMS Victory.
I have the "Bad Mother Fucker" wallet from Pulp Fiction.
I have the Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, but can't find anyone who wants to play it with me. Sometimes I like to see if I can answer the questions by myself.



*sigh*
(FerretTrout be illin', Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:28, 2 replies)

Shoot me.
I have a somewhat dark and shameful secret indulgence of extreme nurdery that even causes the uber geeks amongst us to raise their eyebrows in horror and walk away mid conversation.

I know very little about the humble PC upon which I'm typing right now. Apple Macs just don't do it for me. I'm as un-techie a person as you'll ever meet.

Except I harbour a passion for the humble Commodore Amiga. Yep, given the choice, my ideal computing platform would be something so obscure that even Linux afficionados call me a geek.

A few years back I assembled the mother of all Amigas. At it's heart was a 1992 vintage A1200, however it was modified with an IDE interface, a bridgeboard with four PCI slots, a Soundblaster card, an accelerator card containing a Motorola MC68040 which I'd overclocked to a whopping 40Mhz and 64Mb of RAM and the piece de resistence - a Voodoo 3000 graphics card. This thing kicked arse.

Do doubt you'll all be hugely impressed when I mention that my Amiga was capable of not only running Doom, but also ran Quake at a very acceptable framerate.

The operating system itself had been hugely modified. Forget the white on blue hues of Amigas of old, my patched OS (version 3.9 BB2 for interested parties) featured such boasts as textured window frames, translucent draggable menus, a user configurable GUI and lots of general prettyness which made my Win 98 box look clunky by comparison.

In addition, it had just enough horsepower to play MP3 files through the soundcard while I was web browsing.

Eat that Bill Gates.

*edit*

My Amiga died a death a few years ago when I managed to fit the clocking crystal in the wrong way round, taking out the accelerator card, bridgeboard, motherboard AND frying the CPU to boot. RIP Amiga [sniff]

Hooray for WinUAE...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:25, 2 replies)

Bloodbowl
I owned all three editions of Blood Bowl. Back to the one that had paper players in the box, not plastic figures. (I also had the other Warhammer ranges and spin offs)
I probably still have most of them.
And Games Workshop are thousands of pounds richer for it.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:24, 1 reply)

Some people seem to have missed
the word 'story', in the whole Question of the Week business. As much fun as it is to read endless, repetitive lists of things people do/TV shows people watch which they think makes them 'nerdy', I believe the intention was for you to share *stories*, which we might actually be arsed reading.

Also, why do people have this obsession with the fact that they watch certain genres of television/film, read graphic novels, play computer games etc making them qualify as nerds? As far as I'm concerned, it's just a form of entertainment that you happen to like. Lots of people watch Star Trek. They just don't all go to conventions.
( St3cks, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:20, 3 replies)

Why I hate LOTR
There’s a lot of LOTR here. I’ve never read it or seen the film, but I did hear the radio version, and I've osmosed enough of the rest to have a pretty good idea about it, and here’s how I decode it. The fact that it was written in the ’40s is, I think, significant.

So, there’s this race of stout yeoman folk – jolly and decent, on the whole, and attached to the land. Call them hobbits. Did I say folk? Sorry. I meant “Volk”. So there’s these volkisch types who’re getting on with life. There is, though, a threat from the East. Damned Mongol Bolsheviks get everywhere, see. This threat from the East has an army of black riders. Important that they’re black. The only thing that can save the jolly volkischers from themselves and from the East is a caste of wise, benevolent wizards. What hobbits need is a Führer principle! Maybe there’ll be a small band of pure warriors to protect the jolly volkischers, too. Something like an SS. These protection units are all human. Like hobbits in many ways, but taller, purer, and probably blonder, too.

It’s important, see, that you can deduce a person’s moral characteristics from his race. All hobbits are stout and jolly and not deep thinkers - all blut und boden; all elves are essentially the same; all orcs are essentially the same. Think you can have a good orc? You might just as well talk about a trustworthy darkie. Oh, yes. And the deeply untrustworthy, grasping, gold-obsessed, treacherous one? Just to make sure, probably ought to be called something like… ooooh, let’s see. “Golum”. Yes. That’s good. Very Yiddish. Dirty, greedy yids. Them and the Mongol Bolshies from the East. Gonna destroy the jolly volk.

But it’s OK in the end, because the volkischers will get their Führer and their SS to save them from the foreigners and from themselves. Hurrah!

And that is why I hate LOTR.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:20, 36 replies)

I still know what
Blood Angels, the Waaagh and Genestealers are.

And I still own a 30,000 point Space Ork army. Fully painted. In presentation cases.

I'm nearly 30.

*cries*
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:12, 1 reply)

Nerdery
I spend my days in a fashion frenzy, always tipped out to the maximum, stylish to the last thread. Darling, I’m 6’ of blonde and Fahri and always look my bloody best.

But.

I have two degrees in computer science.

I own and regularly smoke a pipe.

I spend at least 30 minutes a day reading maps and have seriously explored taking the London cabbie ‘The Knowledge’ examination for fun. I am my own GPS.

I only drink real ale.

I have a subscription to the Fortean Times and read it cover to cover.

I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of horror films; the more ‘B’, the better.

I can code in a multitude of languages, but prefer Perl most of all.

And I’m bloody well proud of it. Long live the Girl Geeks!
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 10:06, Reply)

I have this
www.b3ta.com/questions/nerds/post127147
on a t-shirt
( JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 9:54, Reply)

Geekdom
Hmmm, I go through phases of geekieness from time to time. I definitely poses the compulsive attitude geeks seem to find towards anything, you know how we find a new hobby and spend a fortune / dedicate way too much time to it? Then we get bored and forget about it.

This has happened with a few things, M:tg (This resulted in probably 20 thousand cards including a number of full play sets (4 of every card in the set). In my defense though, I did become a judge, so I got boxes and boxes of free product. (All sold off years and years ago)
Gaming: At home in Working order I have a number of gameboys, a psp, an xbox 360, an xbox, a nes, a snes and an atari 2600.
AD&D: I had quite an extensive collection spanning multiple editions. All long gone now though.
War gaming: A few hundred miniatures spanning a couple of different systems. Mostly our home made future setting (Cause Games Workshop makes shit rules)
Computers: Been programming since I was a child. I currently have 4 computers in active use (6 total, but 2 are in storage). Two run Windows, two run Linux. I have shelves and shelves of computer related books, everything from programming to networking.

My most recent obsession is magic (As in sleight of hand), I have been doing this for about two years now, and in true geekieness this means that I spend too much money on it (Shelves of books and dvds (And I go through at least two decks of cards a week)). I also feel completely comfortable walking up to a stranger in the street and saying "Hi, would you mind holding my little red ball for a minute"

I would say I wish I had all the money back I have spent on all this crap over the years, but I really don't. I think that all these hobbies and pass times I lovingly obsessed about before dumping in the river like a dead hooker really helped to shape my life. Without them would I be the bitter cynical asshole that I am today?
(oeb, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 9:47, Reply)

When I was a kid I read the fighting fantasy books
and played Warhammer 40K, Spacehulk and even made my own rules
up for Kerrunch to make it more like American Football. All this I
eventually grew out of. Now what I do love is a good episode of 'Extreme
Engineering' especially when a good analogy is used. Football pitches
for length, but my favourite was fitting a whole brass band into one of the
buckets on an open cast coal mining machine.
( BindiBaji, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 9:47, Reply)

Lord of the Rings
I'd be delighted if someone could give me a good reason why I should attempt to read this albatross of English writing. People foam on about it endlessly and I just can't see why.

The case against:
1) It's a kids' book. Let kids read it if they want to.
2) For adults, the whole concept is infantile (Dildo fucking Baggins!? Just the name makes me think of the nursery)
3) I saw a clip of one of the films and there was a walking, talking tree - with a face. Enough said.
(frankspencer, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 9:33, 12 replies)

HI MY NAME IS SP@M AND I AM A STAR TREK GEEK AND THIS IS MY PUBLIC CONFESSION
I remember many years ago (approx 10-11 years) when I was still living at home with my parents, I was a PA by day and a Barmaid by night, I was pretty normal for an 18-19 year old but I had an evening ritual. On the nights I wasn't working in the pub I would religiously make myself a cup of hot chocolate and put 3 maryland cookies on a plate, snuggle up in my bed and watch Star Trek the next generation on Sky one at 11pm. It didn't even worry me that I had a secret crush on Wesley Crusher or that I knew what a deflector shield was, because I never told anyone, it was my favourite time of day and I hated missing any of it.

A year or so later I met Mr Sp@m, he was a customer in the pub I worked in, and in time I left my home to move in here and my nightly ritual was replaced with washing ironing and eventually mothers duties. I often looked back fondly to those nights when I would snuggle up under my toasty warm duvet and I felt always felt like something was missing in my life.

Life went on until mid 2007 and I went to a family BBQ and got chatting to my uncle about star trek, not revealing the extent of my previous obsession I nodded my head and mumbled something about how I used to watch it, roll to his 60th in November and my dad announces that he's has bought said uncle every episode of the original series on DVD, feeling secretly envious I began to hide away on the PC when no-one was about, looking for TNG episodes on the PC and failing.

Then, one night a few weeks later I am sat in bed flicking through the late night crap that is Little Britain and Catherine Tate, I press the up channel on the remote and pass the sci-fi channel. OH MY GOD STAR TREK IS ON, NOT ONLY THAT IT'S ON AT 11pm - I felt equal amounts of joy to that of seeing my child take their first step. Not only was it on Sci-fi at 11pm every night, I had caught it at the start, the very first episode (encounter at farpoint for those in the know). I promptly ran downstairs put the kettle on and grabbed the biscuit tin, but I had to make do with bourbons as up until then I felt that eating maryland cookies without start trek was a betrayal.

Snuggled up under my duvet with my biscuits and hot chocolate I felt whole again, the next time I went shopping I stocked up on cookies and resumed my ritual, only now it's better, because if I miss it it doesn't matter I have the technology that is sky plus.
Christmas came around and Mr Sp@m asked me what I wanted, I didn't know what I wanted (well I did but I wasn't about to admit it to him) but I had a cunning plan. When he had gone to work, I went on his amazon account and searched for star trek box sets, knowing that it would show up on the list of previously viewed items. My plan worked, Christmas morning I saw I box with "To Sam, lots of love, Mark" on it. I was itching to rip that paper off, but family tradition states that I cannot do this until it is handed to me by my dad and he's read the tag out and all the family including my two sisters and their children all have their eyes on me. I sit trying to decide how to react when I open it, do I go "ohhhhh yay star trek, thanks love" or do I show excited I really am? I chose the former and decide to go down the "im so cool" route. I fail miserably, I rip the paper off and see it's not only a box set but a collectors one, with every single episode and something like 3 hours of special features. I scream I jump up and down and kiss mr sp@m all over the face. The blank looks on everyones faces says it all. I am a geek, I am THE family geek. They have all lost their respect for me. But I don't care I have 178 episodes of star trek.

My youngest started at nursery in January and my afternoons were not taken up by washing or ironing, I was watching star trek. By the end of February I had watched it all, every single episode, except the last one. I can't bring myself to watch it, because when I do it's over , finished, gone, and I will feel empty again. So I bought myself Voyager season one and I am being good this time I am limiting myself to one episode a night, at 11pm with my duvet, hot chocolate and maryland cookies.
( Mrs.Sp@m, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 9:12, 12 replies)

too much time online
I get very frustrated when I'm not able to google for things I can't find in my house, like my keys or the book I've misplaced.

I also got really excited when 'google' became a verb.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:49, 4 replies)

A few small ones = nerd
I won a radio competition a few nights ago doing Pokémon noises (I can even sing like Jigglypuff).
In secondary school I wanted a list of all my songs so I typed them all out (8 thousand plus).
I have a database set up on my computer so I can search my DVD/divx library by actor, director, producer, studio and Original Music score.
I got annoyed when bash.org didn’t accept me as a mod.
I blew off sex with an ex to test new brushes and effects in photoshop.
I have said LOL out loud.
I have met all my closest friends online.
And seeing nerds always have allergies, I'm allergic to dogs, pollen, dust, geese and if i eat a nut again I'll die. Even the smell makes me sick for 2 days.

/gets coat
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:49, 1 reply)

I'm not a Star Wars fan
Indeed, I've only ever seen the original one (or the fourth one or whatever the fuck it is) and the Return of the Jedi, and have no interest in seeing the rest.

However....

I have played a jazz session with R2D2.

This is absolutely true.

Admittedly he was in the form of the diminutive human inside, better known on this earth as Kenny Baker, but he's rather a fine mouth organ player and I ended up having a jam with him at the Silverstone Grand Prix in 1997.

(Yes, that's a bizarre place for it, but I'll explain if you're interested)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:40, 3 replies)

I like comics 'n all
... but I can never get into a conversation with *true* comic geeks because they drive me crazy. Mrs F once had a flatmate who was a comics fan, and I couldn't keep a straight face when talking to him, because he always referred to Batman as 'the Bat' and Superman as 'the Man of Steel'.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:37, 2 replies)

Guns... Give me Guns!
School Shooting team aged 8 to 11 using .22 Anschutz Rifles

Shotguns - Clay Pigeon - Used to shoot for the Cheshire under 21's. (I used to make my own cartridges and everything.)


Target Rifles - 5.56mm L85A1 (SA80 - Yes, the shit one!) Highest score at Sir John Moore Barracks with 286/300 at 300mtrs using Iron Sights NOT SUSAT

Heckler & Koch MP5 9mm (like the police use at the airport)

Beretta 92F 9mm Side arm.

I love them all individually, for different reasons.

(yes I'm Ex-Military)



(Kip, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:27, 11 replies)

I’ve got quite a few nerdy habits.
I own not one, but two, identical, graphic calculators (TI-84Plus) and I’m intent on buying another (TI-Nspire, oh yes oh yes). As well as this, I take at least one calculator everywhere I go. Just in case.

When my laptop died on Christmas day, I chose not to wait for the school IT department to open in a week, but rather borrowed my boyfriend’s similar computer and swapped the hard drives, so I wouldn’t have to go without internet for too long.

I wear a vest to school.

I’m in the debating team.

I run both Windows and Linux (Ubuntu) on my school computer.

Not only do I still have Pokemon, my friends and I spend a large portion of our lunchtimes trading and battling.
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 8:07, 3 replies)

we forget how lucky we are in the West
Some Chinese computer nerds have recently been executed.

Apparently they were rolling on the floor, laughing at Mao.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 5:55, 3 replies)

Well.
I have (and play) 6 lvl 70 WoW characters.

I own a collection of about 1500 Magic: The Gathering cards, either in folders (9 cards a page, double sided, 3 folders, sorted after colour, rarity, edition etc) or in ready-to-play 60 card decks. And I spent every wednesday evening for 2 years playing organized MT:G games.

My playtime on FFX and FFX-2 exceeds 300 hrs.

Although lost to the stupid 90-day-rule, I have had 3 lvl 99 Diablo 2 characters (skelly/spear necro, novasorc (back in 1.04...no anni for her ), javazon) with full runeword/unique gear, annis/charms etc.

I live with my parents at age 23.

Do I fit in here?
(Jindrak, Fri 7 Mar 2008, 5:41, 3 replies)