To my unborn (and unconceived) children
You will never know the joys of:

- taping songs off the radio
- rewinding video rentals back to the start
- finding timid porn in a hedge (I had a single picture of a naked Pam Anderson circa 1993/94ish. That had to do)
- Encarta '95 (the internet on a CD)
- Finding things out randomly and having to take people's word for it
- Daft rumours being spread around music festivals because of the isolation from the outside world (the general concern for Elton John's death was particularly heartfelt)
- Picking up the house phone and not knowing who it is
- Picking up the house phone at all
- Smoking in pubs
- Fixing a games console by blowing into it
- Changing the channel without a remote
- Finding out games cheats from magazines, C4's Games Master and/or friends who had seen games master or bought a magazine
(El_diablo_blanco, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:57, 6 replies)

After my bit part as a narrator in the school nativity play, aged 9, I can still recite Luke Chapter 2, verses 8-14:
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:56, 1 reply)

First twenty elements of the periodic table:
H Helibeb C nof Nenamgalsips Clarkca
( Varmint, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:51, 4 replies)

I can smell your cunt.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:46, 5 replies)

I can still read hex as ASCII
4C 45 45 54 20 44 4F 4F 44
( lord bofingham, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:37, 4 replies)

Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain
I can wire a plug, change a fuse, build things from Lego that aren't in the instructions and get Vigilante Woman off without using battery powered devices.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:31, 1 reply)

bin a while but....
22095-oem-0003477-69000

windows 95!!!


hello again all!!!

oh, and SYS 4096

old poke shit from the c64. had to be typed in after loading Mouse and Cheese
(blowfelt www.soundcloud.com/blowfelt, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:10, 1 reply)

ABACABB - the blood code for Mega Drive Mortal Kombat.

Buying porn - not finding it in a hedge, not getting it off the net, but walking into the newsies, plucking it off the top shelf and handing over money for it (whilst being glowered at by the shopkeep).

Autoexec.bat and Config.sys - I've written so many of these, I reckon I could knock one up, should the need arise (multiple boot options, depending on which game your running, or if you're loading Windows).

Buying music, in CD format, from HMV - I'm pretty sure no one else does this, any more.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:51, 1 reply)

It's all about the 8-bits this week, isn't it?
And yes, I still know far too much about the 8-bit(s) I owned - a succession of Amstrad CPCs. In fact my b3ta name (the only place I still use it) was originally my Amstrad demo coding name, which probably explains why it's the sort of crap name that only a 13 year old would dream up.

Anyway. I spent far too much time with CALL &BC02 and CALL &BB18 and putting in the right number of NOPs to get the raster timing right and all of that. Split modes. Horizontal splitting (stop that). Different CRTC types. I could bore for Britain.

But in the manner of annoying (by then) 15 year-old entrepreneurs, I also ran this thing called a "PD library". How this worked: some spotty kid sent you, another spotty kid, a C15 tape and 50p. You copied some BASIC games onto it (strictly legit - PD is "public domain", not far off what we now call open source, but more crap and less self-righteous) and sent it back. With all these 50ps you could afford hard drugs, or better still, an Amstrad DDI-1 disc drive, which meant you never had to bother with tapes again.

Copying tapes is slow and it's a rubbish way to earn pocket money. But C15s were bearable. What pissed me off the most, I remember, was when some greasy spotty kid sent me five - five - C90s. That was going to be a whole lot of copying. And yeah, I'd get a few more 50ps for it. But still, there goes the weekend.

So, the old stuff I still know? The name of that greasy, spotty kid... because after copying BASIC game after BASIC game for five times 90 minutes, it's been ingrained on my memory ever since.

Stand up and take a bow, Rob Manuel.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:47, 3 replies)

g=c800:5

One finger reboot on Amstrad 1512/1640 keyboard. F keys were in a block down the left side, then you had the shift, ctrl, alt and tab in a block which if you hit them all at the same time did a ctrl-alt-del reboot!

Spectrum Jet Set Willy cheat, typewriter.
Still can do a rubik's cube too. Daughter got a load of little ones for her 80's theme birthday a couple of years ago and mixed them all up. Left the room for a few minutes and by the time she got back I'd solved them all! Bout a minute each, best I did back in the day was about 20 seconds... Sad
(badgerbeard, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Ultraviolet light shows yellow
When I was in 3rd grade, our school had a collection of Apple II's and some educational games. One was a simulation of oil exploration and drilling. I still remember all the things you can find in a core sample that indicate the probable presence of oil.

I currently have a degree in art history and work at Western Digital making the heads for hard drives.

Incidentally, if anyone knows what the game was called, I'd be grateful. It was actually pretty fun, at least in my nostalgia-tinted memories.
(+3 Baroque Vambrace of Icthyology, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:39, 2 replies)

My
Very
Exceptional
Mother
Just
Sold
Us
Nine
Pizzas.

Sigh. Pluto isn't even a real planet anymore. Just shows how out of date my knowledge is.

Also the Prepositions song (only after endless repetition) to the tune of 'Pop goes the weasel' Above, about, across, after, against, around, among, at, before, behind etc etc
That one still makes me shudder.
(Paperdove, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:38, 2 replies)

Your Mum.
In the Biblical sense, obviously.


sorry
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:23, Reply)

I can change the sparkplugs on a GT550. fascinating, isn't it?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:12, Reply)

Obsolete you say ?
Amo
Amas
Amat
Amamus
Amatis
Amant
( Ramsay Tupper, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:12, 12 replies)

Don Witt: Cunt of an art Teacher.
As a 6 year-old, I was given the task of learning a poem, and "doing some art" based on it. The rot-toothed Arse-breathed shithead who gave us this task was Don Witt.

My mum - A teacher herself - taught me a poem from "Verse and Worse", and a quarter of a century later, it's still stuck in my head.

"An Accident happened to my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him.
Tomatoes are Juicy and don't hurt the skin,
But this one was especially packed in a Tin".

We were all to recite our poems, and them make a picture of it. (did I Say, we were six?)
I jauntily stuck a pencil in my mouth after saying mine, and had it instantly smacked out of my face by an irate Mr Witt.

He told me to learn another one because "that one was Stupid"

"I eat my peas with Honey,
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
but it keeps them on the knife"

Fuck you Witt. You made me hate the smell of clay and powderpaints... but because of you I STILL know two kid's rhymes.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:10, 1 reply)

ZX Spectrum
I'm a god with a Multiface II

Lighting - I can still program a Pulsar Masterpiece.

Oh, and I still draw freehand using my oldskool drawing board with no aid from Photoshop or a Wacom graphics tablet whatsoever.

^ BTW, since that was posted, the piece is now finished, it can be seen in all its glory here!
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:07, 2 replies)

On those little electronic 'pianos'
That had numbers to represent the ascending notes. I can still remember how to play the start to 'Jingle Bells'

3-3-3, 3-3-3, 3-5-1-2-3

Oh and on the Sonic the Hedgehog games (Definitely 1 & 2, not sure after that) Up, C, Down, C, Left, C, Right, C, A + start.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:57, 2 replies)

I could strip down the innards of certain models of VHS players to remove jammed tapes,
say if a porn film had got wrapped around the rollers and your parents were due home in ten minutes or so. Just hypothetically you understand.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:50, Reply)

godmode
IDDQD easy game that was.
(SkoaL, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:44, Reply)

Up+Triangle, Down+x, Down+x, Up+Triangle, Down+x, Down+x
That's the key combination to stop the train from hitting North Corel in FFVII.

Circle, Square, X, X is the code to open the Giant Materia container on the Rocket on the same game.

I could carry on, but I'd simply bore you even more.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:40, 3 replies)

Class Register
I still know the order of the class register from my first year of secondary school, 20 years ago. 31 pupils.

Also... Shadow of the Beast 2. Ask about what?: "Ten Pints"
(CheeseyPeas, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:40, 3 replies)

speccy
Poke 23692,0

And

Poke 23609, 0
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:36, 1 reply)

i knit. a lot.
not with a knitting machine, but the old-fashioned way, with knitting needles. i tend to make a lot of blankets and bedsocks.
at the moment, i'm about halfway through knitting a double bed-sized blanket, designed to look like a purple gameboy colour with tetris on it. should take another 3 weeks or so to finish, but it'll look great when it's done.
i also mend clothes and can sew buttons back on. fuck that buying a new outfit because one of the seams has a tear in it shit.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:33, 14 replies)

Street Fighter II -snes
Up, down, left, right, y, b, x, a.
(gdcoey, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:19, 1 reply)

Brainwashing truly works
I was there for only three years, and it's been twenty-eight years since I left Jesusland, yet I can still rattle off the Plejerleejuns without pausing to think about it.

But it's not indoctrination, and don't you dare suggest that it is. Indoctrination is what those filthy pinko Commies do; the Septics encourage patriotism, which is completely different.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:16, 4 replies)

Not only do I crochet
I crocheted Cthulu, and he's the oldest of things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:09, 1 reply)

XYZZY

( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:09, 2 replies)

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
Even though I haven't played it for 14 years, I still remember that the cheat code to unlock invincibility and all weapons is NTHGHTHDGDCRTDTRK.

Also, the code for unlocking the Naboo fighter in Rogue Squadron was HALIFAX? then !YNGWIE!
(Coin Operated Boy is reading the new Bravissimo catalogue on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:07, Reply)