For those who want to know
The interview went OK, but I didn't get my job.

I'm now officially "at risk" of being made redundant!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 14:13, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awww FUCK!
There's a wildfire raging in Myrtle Beach SC, right in the area where my parents' condos are. Even worse, though- it's right around the Meher Center! If the Meher Center gets torched I'm gonna be sick...

FUCK!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 13:57, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*Prouds*
My nephew plays in his local under-10's football team. Because of my work I happen to get the local rag for his area, and have just read a report on the junior football league in which he is cited as 'having quickly established himself as one of the best defenders in the league after an outstanding season'.

The league he plays in is one where football scouts are often seen looking for the next generation of players.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 13:48, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quotes from some of my colleagues
"Emails are the scourge of the modern world. Second only to AIDS"

"Yeah, AIDS is pretty annoying..."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 13:41, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This morning on the way to work
I had Duran Duran's "Rio" stuck in my head all the way as my radio is broken. I ended up singing it quite loudly.

Now it's "Kiss with a Fist" by - well, I forget the artist which is going to make finding it a nightmare.

I figured I'd confess my New Romantic shame so that this doesn't turn into another "I've heard of a more obscure band than you" pretentious wank thread.

What was the last song you had stuck in your head?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 13:24, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Come back Bertie
all is forgiven. So long as you stop going on about us hooking up and the dying collie.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:32, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cocking cunting ARSEWIPES!!!
Every. DAMN. WEEK. channel seven fucks up and loses the signal while Grey's Anatomy is on. Every. week.

GARGH!

*angry*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:17, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Muzak - it's Brilliant.........
Sitting here in my office at home, and 'Been Accused of Stealing' by The Delgados came on - sublime.

Anyway, it inspired me to ask what you lot are listening to - take it away...
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:52, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My job sometimes seems entirely pointless
I have had to send an engineer from Birmingham, West Mids to Redruth in Cornwall today for a faulty printer at a certain supermarket. Bear in mind that the site have already been asked basic questions and made to check leads before an engineer is despatched.

Here is what I gave their helpdesk as a closure:

Printer found to be unplugged from wall outlet. Plugged back in, and now working 100%. All working on departure.

Brilliant.
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:42, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We have a guy who comes to the office to sell stamps
he is balding, smelly and ugly.

somehow he makes a living selling stamps and seems to hold the reception ladies in the palm of his hand.

Based on this evidence, and his laugh, I know for a fact that he is Satan.

He creeps me out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:23, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm
first a hand - now this!
news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=805150
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:23, Reply)

At that price
they must be outsourcing the calls to India...please make it so

www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/technology/technologyadvice/5202108/New-helpline-aims-to-cut-through-technobabble.html
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:00, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Place your bets
I ordered a game cube, controller, memory card and game all seperately on Tuesday.

What is the likelihood that all of it will arrive in the post today.

Also, what is the likelihood that the postman will press the buzzer, chuck the pre written 'sorry you were out' card through the door and run away with my goodies again?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:53, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To Shave, or not to Shave...
...keep those votes coming, folks. I really wanna see those fingers...

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post408169
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:46, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Look out of the window
anything interesting going on?

All I can see is some blokes with a van and they're jetwashing wheelie bins.

And a police van has just gone past heading to the end of the street
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:39, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just read on Yahoo news
That a musical based on the life of Jade Goody is being planned. Despite my best hopes, I really don't think that this is a joke.

So, dear B3tans, the question is - what should it be called?

Dirty Rotten Mimsies?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:31, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Becky's question of the day
There may be more of these depending on if certain parcels get delivered in a timely fashion...

Which fictional character's body would you inhabit for a day and why?

Mine would be Kim Bauer so I could kill myself once and for all and stop ruining a perfectly good tv show for everyone.

Failing that, I'd be Uma Thurman in Kill Bill as she had a fun few days, despite the horrible tracksuits.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:28, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need help.
Whilst lying in bed last night thinking about stuff, as you do, I realised that in 16 years I shall be 60 : /

Therefore I have decided that it's time for my mid-life crises.

In what form do you think this crisis should be realised?
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:23, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here's a tip I've learnt
Don't get drunk, and then when your housemate / significant other decides to open a weird can of oysters in some odd sauce (that makes them taste like ground death), don't eat them.

I feel like I've been comprehensively beaten in the stomach and intestinal extremities.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 10:12, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I watched ZZ Top's Live in Texas DVD on t'weekend
and FUCKING LOVED IT.

What or whom have you loved/liked as a youth, gone off entirely but returned to love/like later in life...?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 9:19, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today, in 20 minutes
I have an inteview for the job I'm already doing.

I don't care if I get it or not, because I've found a better job to apply for that would suit me far better than this one, and I've got far more experience for it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 9:11, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today at work
we are being extorted into wearing red and white for St Georges Day.

we have to pay £1 for the privilege of wearing it. £1.10 if we choose not to. Money goes to the office charity account which is normally fed by profit from the chocolate box.

I fucking hate being forced to give to charity. I give to who I want, when I want. People don't understand this though.

What stuff do you do or not do that other people would regard as cunty, but really isn't when you use your brain?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:39, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's thread time

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:36, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo my turn to cook tea tonight!
For the Family :D
Meatballs seasoned with a little onion and pepper, sauced with a thick tomato, olive and herb creation(which I have yet to create!) and spaghetti.

But I have cravings for chinese food. And I'm not allowed to order in.

What do you guys want but have to make do with something else????
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 8:00, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just got a full 7.5 hours sleep
considerably more than I've managed for about a week. I feel great!

Whenever I don't get enough sleep, as well as being generally shit at stuff my fuse gets really short and I have no tolerance whatsoever for the stupid and incompetent. This makes work a challenge.

How has everybody else been sleeping?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 7:45, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BAN THIS SICK FILTH NOW
We all know b3ta is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

However, we all have limits. What have you seen on b3ta which has made you wince? Where do you draw the line on bad taste?

Bonus points for links to the original posts on any b3ta board. Search tools are here (b3ta search) and here (google search)
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 4:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Edinburgh bash - it really did happen!
And here to prove it, I've uploaded 10 pics of the Edinburgh Bash to the b3ta bash pool. Enjoy. I've only uploaded the Edinburgh bash pics, and did not upload the touristy pics or the pics I took at the two microbashes I went to afterwards.

Highlights:
• Finally getting to meet one of b3ta's most elusive b3tans.
• Having my nipples fondled by some strange Welsh girl who was dressed in her underwear.
• The two drinking games we played on the Saturday.
• The two microbashes I went to on the way down. One of them even involved popping someone's b3ta-cherry.

Lowlights:
• The stomach-bug I caught on the way down (or was that just my post-bash withdrawl-symptoms?).

Meh:
• The lack of enthusiasm about my coat.

As well as my pics, there's bill's. Also, see the following threads for some bash-related discussion:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post402662
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post402854
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post402424

If there are any more bash-related threads, just post a link in reply to this post.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 1:41, Reply)

How does one go about
uploading an mp3?

Oh won't you tell me?
(TheColonel, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 0:24, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Nominations for Pikey town of the year.
May I nominate Athlone based on these beautiful people?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCYIa-gDRfI
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 21:20, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
GREETINGS MY CUDDLY QOTW'ERS AND WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S HSH THREAD. AS YOU GATHERED LAST NIGHT, PJM CORRECTLY GUESSED THAT THE FONT WAS A GENERIC LATE 80'S DEMOSCENE FONT. FOR THAT, HE SCORES ENOUGH POINTS TO WIN A PRIZE. WHAT PRIZE DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD WIN? GREETINGS GO TO ALL THE HSH REGULARS. ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF THIS INTRODUCTION AND ON WITH THE GROOVY THREAD...

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 20:45, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)