Yarr! A Vision
Managed to find the ESC points announcer I mentioned earlier.

Corr! www.sirusho.am/
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 May 2009, 1:03, Reply)

*Finally sits down*
Fuck me, what a weekend. Gardening, furniture recycling into new and shiny useful forms, painting, decorating, and two birthday parties into the bargain. And my housemate wonders why I am knackered. Silly arse. You lot been up to much?

Oh, and who won Eurovision?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 0:10, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just had the maddest day
at work in the whole six months of my employment. And need to talk to some sane people.

I and my colleagues have just spent 11 straight hours relocating our dispensary to a temporary one at the other end of the shop while the old one is refitted (because we've been bought out by a big company that sounds a bit like "Coots"). Our OSOM is still in training and she was left on her own for the first time with us, and the only thing she was good at was bossing us around for no reason... our pharmacist was in a wibbly wobbly world of her own (as usual, but even more so today - displacement I think)... so while we kept trying to get the job done (amid workmen of all kinds) they both had their own ideas about what needed doing and we all just took it in turns to redo work that had already been done wrong... The pharmacist wanted the drugs in order of generic name and the OSOM was putting them in order of brand name, whereas the dispensary technician actually wanted them in order of the names usually used on prescriptions, which is a mixture of both, which only she knows off by heart - but she's the one who needs to use them so we were more inclined to do it the way she wanted even though it meant asking her questions every two minutes. Halfway through the day the OSOM announced that the workmen needed to rip out the dispensary immediately and so instead of moving the drugs methodically in alphabetical order to their new temporary home, we had to just chuck them all in boxes and get them out of there as quickly as possible. Thousands of boxes of drugs all over the floor later we had them all back in order... probably... I guess we'll find out tomorrow when we try to dispense something...

I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I'm the only member of floor staff in tomorrow, so I'm the one who has to deal with all the pissed off/self-righteous/nosy/opiniated customers. I don't get paid enough for the shit I will be taking.

Anyway, that's all boring crap. Just had to get it out.

And I am proud to say that despite maximum temptation I did not take any of the drugs myself, and nor did I attempt to surreptitiously medicate any of the people who were driving me insane all day.

Funniest line of the day today:

Me: Does Replens go under R for Replens, or V for Vaginal Moisturiser?
Dispensary Technician: Hmm, well R because although it's a brand name that's what they put on prescriptions.
Me: Well Jennie put it here because she thought it might go under V for vagina.
DT: No... but I can see where she's coming from *pause* I should NOT have said that.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:49, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh, food that is nommy;
If I could I'd sick-up and re-nom thee!
This evening, I went for an Indian meal with my parents and had a Chicken Jalfrezi. It was all of the win.
Have you recently had a great meal, been out for a meal with your relatives, or do you just feel like writing a short poem about something you once ate?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 17 May 2009, 22:12, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Vodka and apple squash
is my poor badgers drink of the night. What have you concocted when you are far too poor to buy proper booze and have to raid the cupboard for whatever you can find?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 21:23, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Airports are shit, really.
I'm sat at Sky Harbor aiport in Phoenix after having had an awesome weekend, and some cunt wants to watch baseball instead of the Lakers game. I mean seriously, do these people not realize it's GAME 7.
Tsssk.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:26, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cocktails, home made apple pie and internets.
I'm in sunny cyprus at the moment.

*uses B3ta as twitter*

How you all doing?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 17 May 2009, 20:25, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Down down, deeper on down
We're relegated!

As everyone in the pub agreed, we should have got something from the game. But we didn't.

Now I can stop worrying and start looking forward to knocking seven shades of shit out of all the Championship teams as we monster our way to another Championship title.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:53, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm watching the Great North run in Manchester.
There's a female athlete running in the smallest pair of knickers I've ever seen on a runner. It's bloody Manchester, how hot does she think it's going to get?
( girlinthehole, Sun 17 May 2009, 17:43, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Also Eurovision
I think Graham Norton did a respectable job in light of Wogan's dearture.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:55, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm sitting in Copenhagen Airport this time.
Bored, so I wrote something. I don't have a spellchecker on this laptop, so apologies there.

As always, it's in the replies.

EDIT: Whilst in the queuse for passport checking (they check it when you're leaving here), I noticed a load of Japanese people who had just landed, almost all wearing masks. The entire queue dissolved in to coughs... the look on their (the japanese) faces was priceless. Never let it be said danes have no sense of humour.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:54, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

In the same vein as Legless below
When out an about with a friend, in/up/down(delete as applicable) town, in supermarkets etc, speak in a pseudo-foreign language. Just make up gibberish. Try not to sound too oriental, because it's not convincing enough. Go for an east European language.

Try to sound like a cross between Papa Lazarou from League of Gentlemen and the Channel 9 announcers from The Fast Show.

But then do it in a broad Yorkshire accent. Me and my teenage lad do it when in Tesco. It attracts funny looks from people
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 17 May 2009, 14:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Now To Mess With Your Heads

No idea where I heard this. Might have been a comedian, might have been here on B3ta, but it's gold. Once you start, you can't stop.

It's old-people-speak.

For the next 3 days try it.

All you have to do is listen to whatever someone is saying to you and then repeat the last word, leave a slight pause and then say "yessss"

Example:

"The square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides"

"Sides......Yessss"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 17 May 2009, 13:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have badger flu
been sneezing all morning and my usual source of sympathy isn't here so I am gonna need some from you guys.

Also why is Sunday TV shit?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:24, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thank fuck for that
Child whose parents refused chemo for his very treatable Hodgkins Lymphoma, preferring alternative medicines they found on the internet, are forced to give him chemo.

Also of note:

"In his ruling, Rodenberg noted that at age 13, Daniel can’t read. "

Not just medical neglect. God, I don't much care for kids but I want to punch those parents.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 17 May 2009, 11:12, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh dear.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8051982.stm

Will there ever be an end to this nonsense?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sun 17 May 2009, 10:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

where are all the people?
wake up!
:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 17 May 2009, 7:10, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Eurovision
I can't find any information on who the people announcing the points were. One of the later announcers from somewhere in the Balkans (I think) looked not unlike Myleen Klass.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 17 May 2009, 3:20, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yanks
For the americans. A couple of questions for ya. Not having a go, just interested after reading this: www.airlockalpha.com/news426347.html

1. Do some americans get offended by the words "World Trade Centre"?
2. Do some americans get offended by pictures of the World Trade Centre?
3. Do some americans get offended by depictions of the World Trade Centre in film or TV?

If so, why? I realise that its probably only "Twitter users" that do, but seriously, they're just buildings what got knocked down. Yes people died yadda yadda but honestly, is anyone *that* sensitive? Just annoys me thats all. I know of a couple of former colleagues that died there but rarely do I go around shaking my fist and going oooh you naughty buildings and stuff.

If all 3 are (worryingly) true, and that the mere thought of the WTC is seriously offensive, does that mean any location where people died is now offensive? Or maybe a group greater than 10 or something? Or just such places in America.

I guess the simple answer is that - as typi-fucking-cal its the "media" or whatever passes for that anymore.

I love merkins (the smarter ones not the scary ones) but overall, its a very silly place sometimes. Although the UK is a bit shit now, at least you guys have Yosemite. And the most amazing dutch bakery in Bishop, California.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Sun 17 May 2009, 0:36, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i am a heterosexual
Despite my recent experience with a member of the fairer gender, I remain determinedly a heterosexual.

Confession time: with nothing better to do I watched Eurovision from Mockba.

Was it just me or was the young lady from Iceland SMOKING hot?

Wow. Ed already loves Iceland and wonders how can meet Johanna on his next visit there. Icelands not that big a place!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sat 16 May 2009, 23:52, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

KILL ME NOW!
I've just walked into the bedroom to switch my bedside lamp on then walked out of the bedroom and thought shit, I need to turn my bedside lamp on. I walked back into the bedroom and switched the lamp off.


Does anyone know what the first stages of alzheimers is?
( girlinthehole, Sat 16 May 2009, 20:32, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One for Badger's bad movie night
Queerantine!

Havoc consumes a high school when students are infected with "THE GAY."

(found when I went on IMDB to see if Quarantine was worth watching)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 16 May 2009, 19:19, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Elbow - One day a year
Just watched this on Virgin Music on demand (again), a great joyful music video. However, I tried to show it to my mate at work on YouTube and guess what? Not available for your country. WTF?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sat 16 May 2009, 16:22, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Just watched Burn After Reading
Surprisingly good for something with Brad Pitt in.

Seen any good movies lately?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 16 May 2009, 14:43, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Guardian Guide. 16/5/09: Heckles
I have not been back to check yet, but reading their 'Top 10 Heckles' as accounted by (forgets name) who managed 'The Comedy Store'.

I swear, all 10 were in the 'Best of' of QOTW once.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 16 May 2009, 11:54, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know it's old
but I found it on my MP3 player again yesterday and forgot how good it was

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 16 May 2009, 10:16, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello my lovelies
I have cakes and hugs ready to go. Morning everybody! :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 16 May 2009, 6:08, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just sitting in Stansted and thinking
I am amazed by how many people there are here at this time. I've been here during the day in the middle of summer and at 4am it was still exactly as busy as it was at 10am. I understand the need to travel early to get it cheap as that's exactly what I'm doing, but the number of people doing it always amazes me.

Also, why are all the shop staff here now supremly ugly? Do you reckon it might be deliberate?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:54, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)