Axai proxy is NOT DOWN (anymore)
Update: all is back up now, you can go back to ignoring me

The entire leaseweb hosting center seems to be offline, which is quite concerning. I'll let you all know when it's back online.

edit: for an entire hosting suit to go offline, which has 7 redundant links to different providers (which are all operating normally) and state-of-the-art network capabilities... a failure of this proportion sucks just a bit.

*shakes almighty fist at the server gods*
Prays it's not another great fire
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 0:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Any of you clever types here specialise in employment law? (rswipe?)
Things just got about a million times more complicated in the saga of Maladicta and the flat.

Mr Maladicta texted me at work today to inform me that his delightful employers have found someone to replace him and will make a decision on whether he's going to keep his job in the next two weeks - conveniently, just inside his probation period.

Their reasoning is that he is "using" them, simply because he wants to move to another town that's no more than 20 minutes away on the train and easily served in the early hours of the morning that he'd need to get there (he works 8am-6pm, for peanuts).

This first came up when we were planning to move to Margate a couple of months ago (again, hardly difficult to get to; I get the train to Charing Cross that runs through from Ramsgate at 8.05 for work, FFS) - he mentioned this to his boss and she threw a total strop at him, calling him selfish and, in not so many words, "oh, you are so fired when I get the chance".

Anyway, it seems like the moment has come, and it could not be at a worse time. We should of course be signing on the flat this weekend. If he loses his job, I can afford to pay the rent on my own for a maximum of about 4 months, and that doesn't include the bills, as I'll be bringing home about a grand a month.

I mentioned this to one of the guys I work with and apparently we have an unfair dismissal case - coupled with the needing to give a valid reason for his dismissal, plus the bullying from his bosses (even if there's nothing for him to do, he can't be seen not doing something, and there is rarely something to do), and his colleagues (he's the only one who isn't Polish, apparently, and therefore he gets left out, people won't help him out when they're asked to, etc). All this has added up to him utterly despondent every evening: he comes home from work exhausted, applies for jobs, then curls into a ball to sleep and do it all over again the next day. I spend the weekends at his at the moment and I hate seeing how down he is every Sunday night dreading work the next day and having to put up with it all for five days; he's exactly like I was about going to school, only worse: it impacts on every area of his life, including our relationship.

So, gentle b3tans... can we go to the CAB and sue the fuck out of them or not? I will take whoever can help us out for a drink.
( Maladicta, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 19:48, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Miss Blouse says
She's here
She's queer
She's buying you a beer



(Disclaimer - Might not be as queer as she used to be and doesn't actually have any beer).
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 19:16, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Great
Operation on my nose last wednesday, all was going well nose was a bit drippy and annoying but that was to be expected. Then last night, in my sleep I twatted myself in the face. Not once, but twice. So now my nose is even more drippy and sore. Great.

On a related note, I'm in the house til next week and I'm getting kind of bored. I NEED THINGS TO DO.
(lei, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 17:34, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

He's Gonna Step On You Again...
...which, and I may be being a tad too cryptic here (if so, apologies) means ...



Happy Monday(s)!


(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 4:28, 158 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm really tierd, bored, and can't sleep.
I've sworn off booze and drugs for 2 weeks.

I have drunk 5 shots of Night Nurse and taken 4 Nytol; they haven't helped.

Do any of you have any tips to help me snooze?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Sun 10 Aug 2008, 23:46, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
How have your Sundays been?

I've successfully bleached my hair after gazing in horror at the bash photos from Friday. Didn't go too orange and no hot burnyness on my scalp unlike the last time I tried it, but it is very very pale blonde with white roots. So I'll leave it a few days before actually dying it to get it to the colour I want. *slaps on more intensive conditioner*


( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 20:59, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why do people keep putting rubbish in my bin?
Because I don't have a front garden I have to keep my bins on the pavement. The pavement is wide and everyone else in the street does the same.
We have two bins, one for recycling and one for regular rubbish.
Every time I put rubbish in the recycling bin someone walking passed has put regular rubbish in there. I got so fed up with this that I have tied the lid down. I don't mind people using the bin, I just want them to use the right one.

I've just seen someone walk up to my bin and get all shitty because the lid is tied down.

Why is my bin so special?

Why am I letting this piss me off?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 10 Aug 2008, 20:40, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Weather Hates Me

I'm aware this may sound like the inane nonsense of a man who is both paranoid and deluded, but I believe I have a strong case to argue.

I spent this afternoon between relaxing in front of a DVD (The Castle FTW) and completing a recent assault on what was, until recently, a garden that Stig of the Dump would have been ashamed of.

I am by no means a green fingered individual, but it's nice to have a small patch in which one can relax of a sunny day, so I've made a bit of an effort and have created a satisfyingly pleasant environment for that very purpose.

And so it was, as I decided I'd dug more than enough holes for one day, I took a nicely chilled beer from the fridge, retrieved my book from the bathroom and settled down to enjoy the sun before it ran away and hid behind the house.

Of course, as I cracked open the can the clouds conspired against me and covered the sun. This wasn't the first time they'd done that today so I thought little of it. That is until they then decided to release their watery goodness all over my bald pate.

The bastards. They knew precisely what they were doing. Not just content with allowing the hot sun to make even harder work of my digging and forking, the weather then offered to put the boot well and truly in while I was down.

It hates me, and the feeling's mutual.
( Moey, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 19:10, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question for any bankers *snigger*
My girlfriend is a Canadian Citizen, and we need a joint UK Account for our move to india (as she will be a dependent). She doesn't qualify for a dependent visa in India, neither for the UK. Is it possible for a non-resident to get a joint account with a British Citizen?

Sorry for lack of funny and whatnot ;)
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 18:28, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Come on b3tans...
crawl from your beds to your computers and tell us your thoughts.
*braces self*


( thealternativefact, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 9:39, 126 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm Back. And I'm Cooking.....Rebellious or wot?
After 2 weeks in the wilds with nae t'internet, nae phone coverage and only an emergency wedding to attend, the fat bastard formerly known as osok has returned, having killed a bunch of fish, limped aggressively over a moor or two, and spent an agreeable evening spitting rum into a campfire to see it go 'whoosh'. I also recommend the Theakston Brewery tour, as they give you free beer. Nuff Said.

Anyhoo, she who must be ignored is wallowing in her first hot bath for s fortnight, the battered spawn are snoozing, and I'm about to whip up a king prawn (known as king porn in oor hoose BTW) stirfry with chillies, lemongrass, lime juice and some other stuff.

I would give you the recipe but I've punished a bottle of Gosling Black Seal Rum,and may be clinically dead.

C'mon you B3TA foodies, what's cooking?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 20:26, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Phallic carpentry :o)
We are in the process of having a new kitchen fitted (10th day of camping in the living room). Today two canny lads are mitre-ing(sp?) the work tops.

I just overheard them discussing male and female bits.....

Being me, I rushed out to investigate further. The template they are using has huge cock-shaped parts (in my mind anyway).

I asked Gary to explain the system.

"Those holes there are the female parts. The other bench will come in at a right-angle to that one and the male ends butt into the female slots...."


I need a pack of tena ladies.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 11:02, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right
Photos of last nights bash are up in the Flickr pool.


Also here as pool seems to be slow with loading.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 10:35, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning after the night before
Morning all.

So how was it?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 9 Aug 2008, 8:57, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

 
 
( RiverBlues Hello, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 21:12, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Friday night
Stuck in front of your computer on a Friday night?

Feeling left out because you're not going to tonight's QOTW bash?

Just come back from a night out and want a place to spew your drunken ramblings?

Just come back from the QOTW bash and want a place to make the rest of us jealous?

Well come join us and have a chat. Here in b3taland, it doesn't matter how you spend your Friday night - we're all b3tans.



I've made the Home Sweet Home image extra large so all those of you stumbling in drunk can find it more easily.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 18:32, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

is there a new series of monkey on tonight ?
I keep catching the end of adverts for some new animated version of this classic show , looks like this time it's got something to do with running and stuff. I can't wait , anyone know when it's on ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 11:26, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hurrah it's Friday!
Come in, I've just put the kettle on.


( wanderlust, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 8:27, 290 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Am I a man?
I received a message from a gay man on Lastfm saying that he thought my profile pic made me look like a bloke because I have a muscular back.

I will admit to having a huge hang up about my rather muscular (also read, porky) arms.

Is this true?

Check for yourself.
www.last.fm/user/Ethel_chicken

I will apologise in advance for inflicting this upon the reading internet millions. I have had three glasses of wine. School holidays. Fucking love them. Not.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 21:14, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Modern morals.
A friend asked me tonight to borrow £20 for some cocaine. He's by no means an addict but it certainly wasn't his first time either. I don't do drugs. None. Never have and I don't think I ever will (not in the immediate future at least). He promised to pay me back on Wednesday and I know he will but in lending him the money I'm unable to go out tomorrow (to see his band play ironically). He's a very very close friend and he's lent me money before when I know he's needed it, but never for something which could potentially do me serious harm get me locked up.

I've already made my decision but what do you think I should have done?

If you're interested, gaz me and I'll tell you what I did.
( the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 20:33, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thursday Night!
Yay!

A new QOTW is upon us, but for anyone also finding time to be off-topic, do come in...


( thealternativefact, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 19:30, 162 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, I did tell her to do it!
.
Earlier today, I was catching up on b3ta at the same time as talking to my mum on the phone.

Youngest daughter (8) enters the room wailing that It's-the-summer-holidays-and-it's-raining-outside wail of "I'm booooooored". I suggested that if was that bored, she could always go and clean the kitchen floor.

She shot me a look and wandered off to annoy her sister. I forgot all about it until I went into the kitchen to start cooking our dinner. And slid, like a drunken flamingo, across the floor until my knees banged into the sink unit.

She had cleaned the floor. With a duster and (I suspect lots) of Pledge. Pledge + vinyl flooring = very, very slidy.

I was kind of having fun, sliding around the floor cooking (well, it was a novelty) but I'll have to clean it again later. The girls and I had a great laugh doing the dishes and "skating" around the kitchen but if I don't clean it someone's going to get hurt. Probably me.

So, when has someone followed instructions that you perhaps could have made clearer with unintended/hilarious results?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 18:23, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right...
I'm off to London in a little while, so some of you I'll see tomorrow night, some of you I'll not.
Have good weekends!
( Cawl, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:55, Reply)

I am on a commuter train to Canterbury accessing lovely b3ta from my phone.
Unfortunately, it being the summer, the train is also packed with small and loud children who are playing snap at Blessed volumes. And one of them just called the other a 'clumsy clot'. Are we trying to get our kids bullied? Thank feck for casual Friday and Finsbury Park tomorrow evening. It's 99% possible that I will at least make an appearance so you know I'm not a 50 year old librarian named Gerald.
( Maladicta, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:16, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DAMN YOU EDF!!!
This quarter, I've used 5, yes 5 units of gas. Apparently this costs about £1.80

How much is my gas bill?

£20.62!!!

Now I appreciate that many of you get bills much, much bigger than that, but when you get charged 20 quid for an amount of gas less than a small child's fart, where's the justice? EH? EH?

Sorry, this has become a bit of a rant board for me!
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Blood: This weeks QOTW
Am I the only one who struggles with the sight of blood, stories of blood or things that involve gore and injury? I get queezy when I have blood taken and even more queezy when people delight at telling me how they had their arm ripped off by a man eating lion and only survived the battle by beating it off with their newly severed arm.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:35, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want to tap into your collective creativity...
My ex is a lovely boy, but has been brainwashed by a silly little bint. Among other things, this delightful young lady sends me abusive texts from his phone, pretending to be him. Clearly she has issues, but how can I bring this to his attention without seeming like a jealous ex?

Or should I just leave him to get fucked over?
(Moniker, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 15:26, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear B3ta...

Now I may be a bluff old traditionalist, but I always believe it customary to START A NEW QOTW reasonably quickly after closing the previous one.

Come on, Chthonic. It was funny you putting that answer on my post before shutting it down...*doffs cap*...but please...

for the love of Jim Bowen's blessed crack pipe...

pull.your.finger.out

Edit: If something doesn't happen soon...lord help me...I'll have to *gulps*...do some work.

And if I do, let that be on your conscience
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:18, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

calling all boffins
I have an old Nokia PAYG phone I want to use again. Can anyone tell me how to fool it so it doesn't think it belongs to the Sporange network anymore, and I can change it to Skodaphone?

I'm offering a whole cake as reward.

thanks!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:11, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)