Not the last HSH thread ever
because the LHC won't be the death of the earth.

So come in and revel in your existence!




In honour of today's events (and thanks to the Resident Loon):

Click here for topical cartoon.

Image removed to be nice to people with slow connections.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:23, 266 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wouldn't pay any attention to JMG.
He lives with his mum and repeats himself.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:09, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm busting for a piss.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:38, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So when are they getting rid of this place?
I heard it was soon.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:03, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GUESS WHAT!
www.b3ta.com/links/JMGTV_News
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:53, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I am at work.
I am four hours into what is supposed to be a six hour job, and I've managed to get about an hour and a half of actual work done, meaning I'm probably not going to get home until 4 or even 5am. This is due to various processes falling over in our company's crappy payroll system, which is so complicated and unstable that it requires an IT bod to run it, plus two specialists on call in case of problems.

I am having problems tonight. All of them. I often have the mickey taken out of me at work for having all the crap payroll nights, but this one really takes the piss.

Cheer me up with your tales of shitty luck or I might just hurl myself off the balcony.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:26, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Note to self:
Don't do the washing up after 3 beers and a bottle of red wine.
One punctured hand and 3 stitches.....and numerous jokes about not being allowed knives of any kind. (refer to January's boning knife incident)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:28, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Possibly the last Home Sweet Home thread ever.
As you know, the Large Hadron Collider is scheduled to be switched on tomorrow. There's a miniscule chance that something may go catastrophically wrong and a black hole will be created that sucks the Earth into one supercompressed lump of matter. This of course will mean that the World, along with b3ta and the b3tans will cease to exist. So what better way to spend the last evening ever by partying away in this Home Sweet Home thread like it's 1999.

Length? 27km.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:31, 265 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bruiser
Do not attempt to climb over an 8 feet high corrugrated iron fence in a pair of Converse and a shortish dress. That way lies purple thighs:



(I got over the fence though. But I can't sit with my legs crossed now. Not that I spend much time with my legs together, let's face it.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:58, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ah yes
There is nothing quite like the sound of your gearbox being chewed up and deposited on the road behind you as your on the way to work, in the rain.

Why do cars never ever ever break down on a nice warm sunny day?
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:35, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Long Time Lurker, First Time Poster
You guys seem much friendlier than /talk.

Can anyone explain this 'Home Sweet Home' business?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:03, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Morning
To you all on this rainy Tuesday.
Grab a shotgun, a human shield and wait for Special Forces to storm the building.


( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 9:00, 276 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I get to wander around in the rain all day today in Swanage
joy of joys

maybe see you later

also, I'm pleased to see that Monkey Rapture is coming back.

Some of you won't be able to read that^
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 8:25, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question: how to keep track of interesting threads?
I sometimes want to check back to see if a posting that I've replied to has had further replies, but I'm buggered if I can think of an easy way to find postings to which I've replied

Half of them are made when I've been drinking, so I don't always remember when I've replied either. The search facility shows me my own postings and replies, but not the thread in which they were posted. Clicking on the icon just produces a page full of [blank].

Some of you seem to notice replies almost immediately. How do you clever buggers do it? Witchcraft? RSS?

Do tell!
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 0:33, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dublin
Going to Dublin for 5 days for my wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks. Anybody got any travel tips? What to see? What to avoid? I like old buildings and beer (but not Guinness). Mr Whiskers can't hold his drink and is a fussy eater but will happily tag along behind me whilst I ogle sash windows.
(grandmaswhiskers, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 20:51, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone about?
Hello? Rather quiet on here tonight isn't it?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 20:39, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Turning 24 in a month
And have just been offered a mighty £13k a year deal for my current job.

Just wondering how to tell the cunt to fuck off and die....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 20:14, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm busting for a piss.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:50, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Podcast
Can we please have a B3ta podcast, please?

If I could work and b3ta similtaneously b3ta, I would be far more productive, and probably rich by now.

Instead, I'm a tramp who begs for money to buy bread, but I have lots of jokes and funny stories to tell!

Or least stop making it so good, so I can tear myself away from my PC with more ease....
(Duckeee Is nothing special, in fact, she's a bit of a bore, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)

Have some photoshop fodder.
www.linkinn.com/_Idiotic_faces_128_photos

Some that you've already seen, but others that I had not...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Hello!
Dear B3ta,

Please find enclosed one chapter of the book project, entitled:

Chapter Seven: Partically Perfect in Every Way

In which we meet a brilliant physicist, and the most elusive particle is finally discovered.

Yours faithfully,

DiT
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:12, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

drunken flashbacks
argh. so i went to a party at the weekend and was very very very drunk. was introduced to a girl who just happens to be a current colleague of the BEDSHITTER!!! did i smile politely and carry on talking about civilised things, as befitting someone who genuinely doesn't give a fuck and hasn't thought about or contacted the guy for 2 years, including ignoring his phone calls and texts?

or, when she told me he got married 2 weeks ago, did i bellow "MARRIED? MARRIED? I CAN'T BELIEVE EVEN SOMEONE AS DESPERATE AS THAT BORING LITTLE GERMAN BITCH WENT THROUGH WITH IT WHEN HE'S SUCH A FUCKING INCONTINENT COCKEND" and spew out an exceedingly unprofessional rant about him being a cokehead and a woman-beater and an alcoholic and how he deserves to die?

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

booze is an evil, evil thing. i feel like such a prize twat now! help!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 11:47, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a new week!
So come inside and discuss your woes, joys or whatever else.

I've pinched clendrix's sign, because I like it.



( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:21, 259 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evenin' all
I'm at heathrow airport on my way to India for my 1 year transfer! WOO!

How is everyone doing now?
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 20:38, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm installing M$ office 2007
The installation is officially wank.

I checked out the "custom" installation option which had such an appalling UI that it took me several minutes to figure out exactly what it was on about.

It also lacked a back button to allow me to go back and choose the "upgrade" install which wasn't really explained at all either.

/hates microsoft
( Captain V, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 16:24, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another Sunday is upon us...

( thealternativefact, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 11:18, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm here now
You can all stop worrying.

So... I had an exciting day of rain, recording and an epic race against the clock to get a new bass string before the shop shut.


( Cawl, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 22:09, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cardiff
Any b3tans around here tonight?

Any decent places to eat/visit/would recommend for a day out in the city/surrounds tomorrow?

Serves me right for going on holiday and not bothering to plan!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 17:44, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Attention
you will be pleased to hear that I've just had the first shower in my fully armed and operational battle station new bathroom.

Verdict: hot, powerful and stylish

there seem to be no leaks.

I am pleased.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 16:51, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)