Thread number two, who the fuck are you?
Thinking about it, I reckon Santa was taking the piss when he asked Rudolph if he could use his nose so bright to guide the way. However red the poor ol' lush's nose was, it really wasn't going to make an effective headlight.
What have you taken too literally recently?

Alt: Who wants to join in reindeer games anyway? Bet they're well bent.

Altalt: Laugh and call each other names.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:44, 77 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning.
Good week ahead? Good weekend?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:08, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sunday night.
Pretty chilled out. How are you lot?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 16 Dec 2012, 17:42, 49 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm home alone, drinking beer and watching a Fantasic Four DVD.
Is anyone having a more tragic Saturday night?
Alt question - Ben Grimm, AKA the Thing is a brilliant fictional Jew. Who's your favourite fictional Jew?
Alt alt: Pricks.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 15 Dec 2012, 21:39, 11 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well just made the family breakfast in bed My Omelettes are amazing I AM OMELETTE KING
What's the one dish that you excel at?

Alt: Perfect buffet. Give me some ideas about what I could add to the Christmas Eve. Buffet.

Alt:Alt: What you lot up to today?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 15 Dec 2012, 9:20, 24 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

BONG! IT'S THE TEN O'CLOCK NEWS! BONG! BONG! ETC!
I'm new around here. Give me 5 facts about yourself. NOW.

Alt: And a reason why I should/should not stay.
Alt 2: Where the fuck are the mods who were so happy with the "step" hammer earlier this year?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 22:00, 75 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

We’re all here to skive so how about thread No. 5
So this is supposed to be a hoax I really wish it was true
metro.co.uk/2012/12/13/brighton-christmas-lights-video-of-rude-bulbs-goes-viral-3315259/

Alt: Brittas is having his staff Christmas party as we speak (I think), what’s the most twattish thing you’ve done at a staff do? Or seen done?

Alt:Alt: Nakers get back to Manchester airport I lolled at this because it features two of O/T’s names
metro.co.uk/2012/12/14/pranksters-steal-jesus-from-nativity-scene-at-manchester-airport-3316754/
When did you last laugh out loud at an inopportune time?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 14:50, 125 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread number four: you're mother's a whore.
I'm being interviewed by the Independent's 'i' magazine at 2pm.

Have you ever been interviewed by The Independent? If so, when?

Alt: How about The Observer?

Altalt: What are you up to this weekend?

Altaltaltalt: Where the fuck are the mods who were so happy with the "step" hammer earlier this year?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 13:12, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Enough of that rubbish birthday thread.
What would you do to fix the economy if you had the power?

Alt: I don’t care what you’re doing this weekend, but I suspect you’ll want to bore each other to tears with the details

AltAlt: What bingo phrase should this thread have in it?

EDIT: Thread number two, the world's run by Jews © M Boyce.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:53, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I just got brought breakfast in bed.
Do any of you losers have breakfast in bed?
No, didn't think so.

Morning, spazmos. What does today hold for you?

Alt: who's your favourite Womble?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:18, 84 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well this place is rocking.
What are you doing for New Years Eve?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 21:56, 51 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Oh QOTW. :(
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2247648/Comic-book-fan-Tanis-Baker-arrested-armed-police-dressing-ninja-superhero-wooden-sword-help-fight-crime.html
Which one of you was this?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 13 Dec 2012, 19:51, 13 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Come and worship the son of god
and bring presents
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 19:47, 32 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I went to get some beers, and some petrol, and some chocolate, and some dog food, and although I didn't go for some, I also got some lead replacement fluid for the engine in my car.
Anyway, when I was there, there was a nasty old lady shouting abuse at a shop assistant, because the eggs she normally buys weren't there. She was rude, and horrid, and abusive. And then just collapsed. I sort of tried to help, but the shop assistant was the first aider, and sorted her out, and the old lady was still rude when she came round, despite what the staff had done to make sure she was ok.
Ever been so angry at someone you passed out? or shit yourself? Are you rude to the minions in the 7-11 where you buy your special brew and rustlers?

alt: Or are you super nice, and all the bar staff at the pub think you're a prick for pretending to be all matey, when actually, they can't stand the sight of you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 16:34, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread number six - chef Mark Hix.
Once again I got no question though, sozzers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 15:29, 109 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread number five - man alive!
I've got nothing for you question-wise, I'm just trying to get this Bingo-style thread shiznit up and running.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:41, 212 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fracking,
So fracking is going ahead in the UK. Blackpool is sitting on top of 17 times as much gas as is still around in the North Sea apparently.

So the question is, should we pump it all out and make lots of money. Or is it better to just chuck a match in their and leave a large crater?

Alt: Lunch thread.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:11, 81 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What period of history would you like to live in and why?
alt: bidets, what are they all about?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 10:44, 167 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread number one, no harm done.
This morning, right, I took the only free seat available in the carriage and the bird in the next seat was so titanically fat that I had to perch on the front edge of the seat and lean forward to achieve even a semblance of sitting down. Then I opened the paper and read that one in three final year primary school children in Britain is overweight or obese. That's fucking child abuse.

Fat cunts, eh? They're so....fat.

Alt: Trading places:
Whose life would you not mind swapping with? I mean this entirely superficially OK: no-one is asking you to abandon your loved ones etc so calm down. For me it's Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. I know he's a smug, speccy wanker and that his quasi-self-sufficiency is a lie propped up by his book sales and TV wages AND that getting up at 2am to stick your arm up a cow's jacksie or whatever probably isn't as LOL as it looks on TV but I still feel a slight pang of jealously when I see his semi-rural life. So for me it's Hugh or Keith Richards, either would be OK, thanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 8:16, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 22:09, 13 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright?
Anyone fancy a pint?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 19:19, 25 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Christmas party tonight, what are your company christmas plans?
is your office festooned with tinsel, are wakki people going to elf hats or is it all bah humbug?

alt: I bought a tie today, not sure I bought one in many years. what has wormed it's way back into your life recently?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 16:31, 105 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Thread number six, Stevie Nicks.
I think I've missed my calling as a bingo caller.

What career could you have followed given a second go at life? And which career would you choose given an ability which you don't actually have?

Alt: Name your ultimate cold weather comfort food
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 14:35, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i.imgur.com/IGR3z.jpg

Edit: Oh, bollocks, sorry, wasn't meant to do that. Well, while we're here, uh, how about the icy roads? Can you drive safely and sensible, or are you one of the dickheads in the inevitable YouTube winter fail compilation.

Alt. I'm buying a van, any reccomendations?

Altalt: fine, if you don't drive, how are the buses for you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 12 Dec 2012, 13:31, 147 replies, latest was 12 years ago)