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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Enough of that rubbish birthday thread.
What would you do to fix the economy if you had the power?

Alt: I don’t care what you’re doing this weekend, but I suspect you’ll want to bore each other to tears with the details

AltAlt: What bingo phrase should this thread have in it?

EDIT: Thread number two, the world's run by Jews © M Boyce.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:53, 121 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
happy birthday!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)
My birthday is in June.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)
are you sure?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Well, put it this way, I've celebrated it in June for the last 39 years, so yep, pretty sure.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Well, if you're not going to use that 'happy birthday'
I'll have it.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)
i dunno, do you remember being born?
you see my point?
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Nope, but I've got a piece of paper from the registrar.
Feel free to buy me a gift anyway.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)
And how does this June character feel about this?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)
She loves it. The filthy slut.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:01, Reply)
I'd spend all the economy on some of Nick Clegg's drugs.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Legalise drugs and tax them at the same rate as tobacco.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)
We did this discussion.
It is a terrible idea.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Damn right.
I have no desire to pay that much tax on my weed.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Alt: 'thread number three, Patrick McNee'

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Hang on, it's only thread number two innit.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)
WTN.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)
'Thread number two, the world's run by Jews'

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Done.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)
See?
Better than b3th's lame-o effort already.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Thread number two, I'm off for a poo.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Thread two and a bit
Enjoy your shit.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:03, Reply)
He's been an awfully long time.
Should we send someone in?
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I'd send all the woggoes back to Bongo-Bongo Land.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Oh yeah.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)
we need to lower tax to 0 and get rid of all the red tape

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:13, Reply)
It's my birthday in 11 days WHOOOOP!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Oh YOU

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:22, Reply)
bless you my child

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)
It's more likely that Jesus' birthday was around late September/early October.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I can't believe birthday B3th's nonagenarian husband is such a fatty enabler
Breakfast in bed is only going to exacerbate her diabetes
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:20, Reply)
I believe she has too eat all of her meals in bed seeing as she can no longer leave it

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Won't be long before Jerry Springer turns up and they pull a wall down to get her to hospital.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)
In other news, the bloke in my pub that I thought was Geoffrey Hayes, isn't.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Hahah gutted

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Well in the absence of Al, I suppose I'd better say it.
Huge investment in public services and infrastructure.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Speaking as Campaign For Real Al chairman
I would like to object in the strongest terms possible to his blatant counterfeit Alling.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:30, Reply)
What is the manifesto for this campaign?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)
That only Real Al should be allowed to post hand-wringing liberal student drivel on here.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Wilf will be heartbroken.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)

heart collarbone-
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Ha!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I quite clearly have the word 'Al' in my username.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Yet more chicanery.
Disgusting.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:35, Reply)
This - New Deal etc
get the unemployed working, being paid, buying cheap tat, manufacturers of cheap tat expand, more taxes, boom.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Also
nationalise public transport and the gas and electric companies. Has privatisation improved them? Has it fuck.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Another recruit for the Fake Al Front.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)
WE DEMAND REAL AL

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)
You mean me, right?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)
No I fucking well do NOT

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Your campaign is vague and doesn't even make sense.
I live nearer to the North East than that faker you're getting behind.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:57, Reply)
I would like to politely interject at this point to ask you to go fuck yourself.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Who the fuck are you?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:00, Reply)
It's "Workboresme"

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:01, Reply)
WHY CAN@T WE ALL JUST BE FLUFFY AND NICE!!!!
YOUR ALL SO HOWWWWWWWWWIBLE!!!!!!
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:01, Reply)
tell us about your dead mum and how you like to go fishing and take pictures of your bumhole

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Oh, it's the mental cat abuser.
My bad.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)


(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
This is one of your things that always deserves a click whenever it's posted.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
MY things, I mean.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
you mean "batshitmentalist's" things

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Fucks sake, I don't know who anyone is anymore.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:09, Reply)
GO REAL AL!!!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:24, Reply)
He's clearly a fake.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Hang on
is workboresme the mental cat abuser, or the one who got all upset about people on b3ta not being nice all the time?
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)
she's the one who fed her cat pennies then threw it through a window

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)
I'm confusing her with the one whose profile pictures has a fake moustache and eyebrows

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)
invest in new technologies, make the UK the leading light in research and development of carbon nanotube tech, quatum computing etc
the sort of thing that takes brians and innovation, but not masses of space and natural resources.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)
With your brinas, the nation will be just fine.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Not with your spelling it won't.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)
yeah what a spastic

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
So you think we should invest massively in education first then?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)
yeah, but not for everyone
only the clever people, train tha thickos up in more practical shit.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Quite right.
We probably shouldn't even waste time trying to teach dyslexic kids, as they will always come across as a bit thick.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:52, Reply)
exactly

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I love it when you ninja edit your posts and still fuck up the spelling.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)
oh piss

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Nice one 'Brian'

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:54, Reply)
It's a PUPPET!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:55, Reply)

P M
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 10:58, Reply)
actual lol here

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)
FWEE BWIAN!!!!

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:06, Reply)

To sort out the economy - compulsory "Do Not Resuscitate" notes on everyone over the age of 75 in hospitals, should thin out the aging population and defuse the pension crisis.

Alt: Got a gig tonight and my new uke arrived today so I'll be annoying the Mrs with that one.

AltAlt: 2 fat ladies - Spice Girls reunion.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:06, Reply)
Are you going to use it to transport some "daggy" sheep you "flamin galagh"

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:10, Reply)
nah
I'm gonna play some Slayer on it.

south of Heaven on ukelele sounds awesome
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:13, Reply)
I may google search this

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I bought my kid a uke for Xmas, magic the cat.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Wait, magic the cat is your kid?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Also, is that two ukuleles in your flat now?
Fucken hipster prick.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:25, Reply)
just the one uke
I do have 4 bass guitars and an acoustic 6 string as well.

The uke is a good starting point for someone with small hands to play, so I'll use it to teach my daughter how to play stringed instruments.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:48, Reply)
and
Monty's my mum.

(avoiding obvious star Wars joke)
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Well, I'm pleased you asked me that, Fitmas, and I'm going to answer you shortly..
... but first I'd like to say year-on-year, we have created jobs whilst maintaining the ecobalance of employment within the united kingdom. I plan, should I be elected, to not only continue our good work, but to upsize the scheme on a national level. Good Jobs for Good People will be our moto. We shall support the empolyment sector completely, not only to the best of our ability, but the best of anyone's abilities. We're talking big contracts to british companies.

Whilst I can't talk about my opponents policies, I can say they don't make sense in these economic times. They appear to be synagized with a private agenda that is not quite as transparent as they'd like.

And I believe that's my time up, but if I could just add, LETS GO GB, LETS GO !
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:10, Reply)
*nods*
This guy seems to have got it right.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I'd review every person who isn't working and make them! Unless they had good reason.
I'd make sure the country wasn't such an oppressed nanny state and have a single, affordable tax band for all.

Change the laws so everybody wasn't walking on eggshells inf ear of being sued.

Viva La Revolution!
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)
again, working class the other day with your "dinner" and "vomiting"
and now really quite conservative. I think you need to find yourself GeordieJay
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)

d ger
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:17, Reply)
errr, maybe keep the sex messages to gaz yeah?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)
There's only one thing worse than a Tory
and that's a working class Tory.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)
You must love Pickles then
He was on Desert Island Discs this morning
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I caught the start of it.
He was being all Plumdozer, with his Paul Smith cufflinks.
The auld cunt.
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Are you saying he loves chutneys, here?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I can go through a whole jar in one sitting

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
I'm neither Tory nor Labour
and (Honda) according to you lot I'm lost :(
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Just accept whatever label is given to you on here.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:27, Reply)
shut up yurt prick

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:28, Reply)
You bent spastic

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)
*snogs*

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:30, Reply)
What are you singing?

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:30, Reply)
10/10
git
(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:31, Reply)
Angry midget.

(, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 11:30, Reply)

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