If you ask me, telling a group of no-hoper emo cissies to fuck off is never going to help anyone.
But that's the way I roll.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Hello intertubbies. JMG is on.
I haven't been over here much lately.
This has no doubt inspired a backlog of wobbling, moaning and complaining about a man, well above your station, who you'll never, ever meet.

Feel free to now take all this out on me, JMG. B3ta hero.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:59, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What;s next?!?!?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7791461.stm

This cannot be a serious story! How can you seriously expect to police people in their private lives?

Teachers are role models but at the same time a one off incident that maynot be the teachers fault could lead to dismissal???

How stupid is that?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:20, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it just me
or does this look an awful lot like Joey Deacon?...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:15, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I'm more shocked that the Times made a credit crunchie pun.
But that's the way I roll.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:08, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm shocked that Crunchies aren't in Miniature Heroes now

(__, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:03, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ha Ha Ha... Snort!
Browsing through QOTW while on my break, I chanced on a particularly funny entry from one of our more established regulars (that wasn't a long winded 'pun' post) - and promptly snorted my drink out of my nose with laughter...

..prompting many funny looks from the other drivers and guards in the messroom - most of whom have not idea what the internet is...

Still, they all like sickipedia when I was explaining it all...
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:15, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you were all on a make shift life boat, stranded at sea and you had to kill one of the others and throw them overboard to stop the boat from sinking,
which QOTWer would you choose?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:10, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy Fucking Friday :D

( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:43, 382 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wish this had happened ...
in time for the cringe QOTW.

My mother slipped in the shower and fractured her L4 vertebra. Two weeks out from Christmas.

The inconsiderate cow.

Anyway, I have recently spent many frantic hours in our nearest A&E trying to amuse two little girls, aged 5 and 2, for fuck knows how long.

They were well entertained by an impromptu blow-up latex glove puppet show for a bit, much to the amusement of my fellow waiting room internees.

Now this particular hospital happens to be the war veterans hospital. So the moment all parents dread was just around the corner.

You know the one. The moment when an amputee comes within the range of your child's curious gaze. My first born child reacted with bemused but silent interest in the elderly (WW2?) veteran who sat close-by. He had lost his left arm just below the elbow.

The nurse called us in to talk about my Mum.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Just as we were mustering ourselves, 5yo politely asks the elderly amputee "Excuse me, but what happened to your arm?"

CRINGE!!!

He gave this beetroot faced poster a wry grin and beckoned 5yo girl closer. He then said in a low voice.

"I was picking my nose."

The look of utter horror on my wee one's face was just magic.

I then had to talk to a nurse about my mother's need for back surgery whilst trying not to wee myself from suppressed giggles.
(Que?, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:17, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did you hear about the Las Vegas snowstorm yesterday?
Well, we went there Sunday, due to fly out yesterday (Wednesday).

We were 2 minutes from takeoff - literally on the runway.
I'm shitting myself 'cos I hate flying anyway, but to fly in a snowstorm.........eeeep!!
The pilot then announces that we have to go back to the gate, and finally, after another 2 hours they cancelled the flight.

Had to spend another night in Vegas. Just got home. Am exhausted.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:34, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Torrents

Somehow I've wiped loads of music from my Ipod and my laptop. When I say me I mean Steve Jobs and his shitty shity products.

Anyway I would like to replace them with, whisper it, free torrented music. But I have no idea which site is best or how to use them.

Little help?




Fanks!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:14, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This was posted on /links the other day
www.portalofevil.com/lj.php

It's images that have just been posted onto LiveJournal so on each refresh new images appear.

It's addictive.

Oh.

Wrong board.

Tough.

BTW, NSFW as some post PORN!

*looks aghast*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 19:22, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Time for a new one I think...

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 18:24, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm feeling sad about something important and that.
And I'm pretending to be a girl.
Who will rush to my aid like a knight of the internet, but breathing through their mouth?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:08, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Noobies

Has anyone else noticed how many people seem to have L plates next to their answers this 2week?

It's all good, but where did they/you come from?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:28, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll stick the photos
from last night's Manchester piss up in a few days. Just realised Crimbos a week away and I've done nowt,
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:18, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd like to be part of a group of six or seven men stood behind Moohalaa
while he is naked, bent over and parting his bum cheeks so we can all gob up his bum hole.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:48, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One week til Christmas!
This makes me that odd combination of happy and sad - sappy, if you will. I'll be doing all my Christmas shopping on the afternoon of Christmas Eve.

Insane? YOU decide.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 7:51, 360 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Story Continues...
Sleeper, Part 3.





And the previous story:

( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 1:15, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Some of you may recall that I had been slaving over the bathroom in my house
It's finally finished (apart from a gap which I haven't covered up in the photo)

unfortunately it's small, so you can't take good photos in there, but I've put one in the replies. you get the idea...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 22:05, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hit the wine last night.. Pretty hard!
On a Tuesday? I know, Im terrible.

Long story short, when I got in I couldnt sleep so I watched the shopping channels.

And ended up buying this:

www.jmldirect.com/Halogen-Oven-PH1500

Ive been toiling with the idea of cancelling but its just too damn good!

I now have no money.
(i should have joined myspace, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 21:25, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just decorated my tree
it's fucking ace, because I'm awesome and stylish

none of this christmassy colours bollocks. Black and silver all the way.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 21:25, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's DG's birthday!
Happy birthday dear DG,
Happy birthday to yoooooooou!

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 18:56, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wednesday evening thread for the needy and desperate:

( thealternativefact, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 17:31, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What have you found recently?
Me - Something that made me happy and sad.

A couple of weeks ago, I was lamenting that I had no photos of my departed father so we (the OH and 2 kids) headed to my Mum's for the day and for a photo hunt.

Result - loads of old photos of Mum and Dad and us as the family we were then.

The unexpected find? A diary that he wrote when he was in the Falklands of his thoughts and thoughts of me, my sis and my Mum. it has touching things in it like "I don't know how I'll fit in" and "I just miss my family".

I've never had this insight in to my Dad's mind and to have seen/found this was touching and nice as I was, not a couple of days before, saying and thinking that I'd had nothing really to remember him by at home - no photos, letters, etc.

I also found all the letters that my sister and I had ever written to Mum and Dad while we were away at boarding school. Including one, still in its envelope, with a label on it of "First letter from JTW"

I cried. I also cried when I read the diary - In fact, I've read it twice - I cried both times. A lot.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 15:51, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*turns three-hundred-and-sixty-degrees and walks away*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 14:13, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)