Happy Fucking Friday :D

( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:43, 382 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Heh NING!
Here it is!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:44, Reply)

Yayyyyy!
I got here first!

I need to get out more, this is the most exciting thing to happen in a few days now.

*cuddles No3L and ancrenne*

*grins*
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:48, Reply)

Morning folks!
*smuggles*

I'm happy today. I get to work til 4pm and head off to my friend's place to work hard... and play hard... for the weekend!

And by monday, the days will start getting longer again!

*bounces*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:55, Reply)

*grunts*
Groan....

Morning all...

I have a major hangover this morning.

*reaches for alka seltzer*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:58, Reply)

You did appear to be rolling around somewhat last night!
I hope it was worth it :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:59, Reply)

*finds the dog*
*removes hair*

*passes to PJM*

*whispers*
There, that should help. If not, how about a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich?
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:03, Reply)

Morning dears
I wake up at home this morning, confused by being in a single bed and my alarm clock being on the wrong side of me. Strange. But awesome.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:10, Reply)

Morning all
Ah, Lusty, I see we're in your fucking fine fucking thread this fucking morning. That's fucking good.

And it's good to see you back in these parts, ancrenne.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)

K2k6
It looks that fucking way.
Fuck fuck fuckadee fucky fuck.

Are you well this morning?

@PoD Did you sleep in someone elses bed? ;) Or are you back home from uni?
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Yay it's fucking friday!
lo folks :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:28, Reply)

I'm fine thanks
Had a good night's sleep, which is just as well as I've got a late one tonight.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:33, Reply)

*gets out jump leads*
*attempts to restart thread*

Damn.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Sometimes I wonder
if I shouldn't have just cycled into those stupid girls rather than break my shoulder avoiding them. *wince*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:44, Reply)

Morning!
I have my first proper Christmas hangover, and am trying to gear myself up for tonight, which will be an even bigger one.

Fortunately I'm going to spend most of the afternoon in the pub though...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:46, Reply)

Hellooooo
Despite being as sick as a dog last night I am warm, happy and in fine fettle this morning!

How are you lovely people?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Morning Sam and Herr Dok!
I'm good, waiting for my Norwegian exam results to come in:)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Sick as a dog?
Better out than in, eh Dok?

Is that sicker than a parrot, by the way?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:51, Reply)

The parrot isn't sick
It's just pining for the fjords...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:52, Reply)

Hi Darras
How is Norway today, cold?

K2, much sicker than a parrot, and I would rather it had been in than out!

Oh Sam, no matter how chipper I am it's way too early for Monty Python!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:53, Reply)

Norway is warm today
shockingly enough! We're in plus degrees (3 of them I think), which makes everything outside a bit icky and slushy, but no wooly underwear today! Hurrah :p Thanks.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Bloody hell!
Norway's warmer than Scotland. It's only just above freezing here this morning.

I've still got my pants on though. I'm not that tough.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:56, Reply)

Not a fan Dok?
Shame on you...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:56, Reply)

Weather Shock!
Norway above freezing in Winter!

I should work for a newspaper I should. I could do all the headlines.

K2 gald you've got your pants on, please keep it that way , or at least give warnins if you're going to take them off!

Sam, no I love Python it's just too early in the day, if I laugh now I may just asplode.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:01, Reply)

Wonders will never cease!
And I was going to go snowboarding tomorrow. But it'll either be sludgy or icy so I figure I might listen to the 'It's too soon after the injury' whiners :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

I intend
on keeping my pants on, Dok. You're quite safe.

It's just that Darras mentioned she wasn't wearing woolly underwear today, which I took to mean that she wasn't wearing any underwear, as a true b3tard should interpret such a statement...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

K2k6
I hope you're enjoying that image ;)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:06, Reply)

Oh! Wonders did cease
We just dropped to -2 again. Sorry guys.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:08, Reply)

Back home from uni, dear 'lusty
So that means getting cooked for, and having a warm house, and all sorts of things.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:08, Reply)

K2
I was not going to comment on Darras knickerless state myself.

My poor snowboard has sat in his bag for far too long, I never get the time to get to any slopes :(

Woohoo temp drop, maybe you'll get out after all!

Hi PoD.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:13, Reply)

Of course
I'm enjoying the image, darras. Although ancrenne may have issues with it as she wants to sell lots of pants!

*enjoys*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:13, Reply)

I myself
Can't wait till I get my hands on Miss crennes' pants!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Subtle as always there Dok
I had forgotten how hard it was to post from my iPod without making spelling mistakes =(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:20, Reply)

badgerskin underwear?
to keep the fleas out y'know.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Mornin' folks.
My voice is not working today.
I broke it last night.
*sighs*

But on the plus side, I've got a great weekend planned :D
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Kaol
were you singing too much Kareoke?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Morning Kaol
Borken voice is not good!

PoD I've never calimed to be anything else, it seams to go down well.

Darras you have given me a very bad thought. :) Kaol can I borrow you finest skinning knife please?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:26, Reply)

*shameless pimp*
www.b3ta.com/questions/addicted/post332908

*cough*

Morning all

*waggle eyebrows*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Something like that...
*smiles*

EDIT: Dok, I'm knife-free as of this morning. Sorry.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Why?
What's happened?

Who are you and what have yo done with the real Kaol?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

Ethel I hate you
That is all.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

Morning Kaol
Sounds like a fun night. Band practice one presumes? We actually had a practice before a ceilidh last weekend. I bet my neighbours loved that one....
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)

No badgerskin pants for the Dok!
sucks..


Morning Ethel :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

*dances in*
woo woo woo it's Friday! Wooowooowooo get to see loads of people tomorrow! wooooooooooo!


*is far too excited this morning*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:32, Reply)

*reads thread*
Hey! I don't want to be skinned and turned into pants! *cries a lot*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Yep, band practice!
It was really cold in our "practice room" (shed), and I went a bit over-the-top on some of the vocals.
The rough recordings sounded wicked though :D
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

It's not fair
I suppose I'll have to go get a knife of my own!

Then I'll have the badgerskin pants, all of them. All mine!

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh Hi Badger! Didn't see you sneak in. I promise not to skin you for pants! How's that?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Oh...
And I've started being a good boy and not carrying a knife around :)

Although the leather jacket I was wearing this week had one in, that I'd forgotten about.
Quite a big one :|
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Oh Kaol
All this growing up, soon you'll be too good for us.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

You spoil me Dok
That's very good news about the knives Kaol *huggles*

Looking forward to seeing me tomorrow!! I haz present for you :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

I've very much looking forward
To seeing you tomorrow :D
Hopefully I'll actually talk to you this time, instead of flitting around like a crazy-person :p
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Hey TGB
Where have you been?
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:43, Reply)

She's been hiding from you, V :p
Looking forward to your date tomorrow?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Oh Yeah
I'd forgotten about V's date tomorrow, good luck in talking her into a threesome!

Badger, fair exchange is the besy policy if you ask me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

A little more than I was
Just going to see how it goes and go from there. Still very keen on the girl I was out with last weekend but I haven't heard from her since.

I think the reason for that is that she knows about tomorrow and wants to wait until she knows how that's gone. That's the impression I got from her at the end of the date anyway.

:edit: Dok this is a different girl!
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

I was flitting too!
And generally being crude as I recall...

*snogs V* Missed me?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Well, best of luck, whatever happens
You're a lovely young man, I'm sure something will sort itself out sooner rather than later :)

EDIT: TGB, you're a lovely young man too.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

*enjoys snog*
*gropes bottom*

Nah didn't miss you at all =p

:edit: Thanks Kaol. I'd be perfectly happy if tomorrow's date goes well but without any real potential for anything more and the girl from last weekend is still interested and wants to see me again.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, Reply)

*agrees with Kaol*
Captain V is ace!
And he has a lovely face and silky hair!
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

*slips lusty and kaol a fiver*
Thanks guys!
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

*nods*
While people are about...
New comic went up yesterday!
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post331818
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

*removes grille in ventilation pipe*
*drops rope*

*abseils*

Morning all! Happy Friday and all that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Lusty!
*snogs*

I'm not a man! *sulks* You suck Kaol

DiT! *hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)

But if you were TGB
I would.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

V
Contact her today and profess your undying love for her. It will show her that you are thinking about her and make her think that you are not taking tomorrows date seriously.

Badger I think most people were a bit crude and flirty at the last bash. Not me though I'm a good boy!

EDIT Hi Lusty and DiT. *hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Dok
Somehow, and I've no idea why, but I think that might scare her off just a little bit.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)

woho!
I passed my course :D

And V you could at least contact her to say hey, howsit? Just so she knows you're thinking of her. You do have all the power here, can't go expecting her to contact first.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Ah I've not made myself clear it seems
I did send her a wee text to let her know that I'd really enjoyed the date but heard nothing back =[
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

Well V
Just contact her and say hello then, or whisper nothing sweet in her ear!

Grats Darras, nice one.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

How rude of me
Congratulations for passing your course darras. If you don't mind me asking, what course was it?
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

TGB...
I meant "If you were a man, you'd be a lovely one".

That doesn't really help, does it?

Er...

*eats orange*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:05, Reply)

thanks :)
Im studying Norwegian language at university here. It started out as a mission to become fluent, now it's a mission to speak better norwegian than my best friend (who is norwegian) :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)

Kaol
Remember to eat on the right!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:06, Reply)

Yeah...
I'll be eating on the LEFT 'til the end of January.
Including Christmas dinner.
*laughs*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)

He's a...
thread killer queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:18, Reply)

V you beat me too it!
Mine would hav been a bit different though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Bastards!
Why weren't you posting?
You were waiting, weren't you?
Waiting to mock me.
God-fuckin'-dammit, I should've known.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Aparently
Noel Fielding is a possibility to be the new Dr. Who.

Which frankly is a FAR better idea than a female Time Lord. Which just wanks on everything.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:24, Reply)

Strange as it may seam Kaol
I was working!

I know it's a first.

EDIT Darras NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, he looks more camp than a handbag full of kittums!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

it's him
or David Walliams :p

Frankly Im happy I stopped watching! Although I do love David Tennant... he's hot..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:30, Reply)

*waves at Darras*
I don't think we've met? Or have you changed your name? *looks accusing*

*gets told off for looking accusing*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Noel Fielding would be rubbish as Doctor Who!
As would David Walliams, to be fair.

I feel fucking grim, Guinness hangover is not FTW. 2.5 hours til pub lunch though.

Edit: Hi TGB!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Oh god
both of those suck big monkey balls!

We should start a campaign to get Davros' Grandad the job, at least he looks the part!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:34, Reply)

And
you can be the assistant Dok!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Nah...
I should be the next Dr. Who.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)

Badger
stop looking at people accusingly, it make you look funny!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)

If Kaol was Dr Who
They wouldn't be allowed to show it before the watershed!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Haha!
I wonder what the BBC policy on drinking, smoking, swearing and casual violence is...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)

*waves at Sam*
Did I read you were hungover? Aww :p

Hey CU *waves too*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Rhys Ifans would be better than Fielding or Walliams
But still not great...

I think it should be Harrison Ford.

*waves at TGB*

Yep - far too much Christmas Guinness last night.

In the immortal words of my mate Rob, today I am able to shit through a box hedge without rattling any of the leaves!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

I think that
Charlie Brooker would be a great Dr. Who.
Well, funny, at least.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

Lo Grammar Badger
No we haven't met :) I'm fairly new!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Hi CU
How ya doin today?

Me as the next Doctor! I can do the job well, and you lot know it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:42, Reply)

I'm bored at work
I've already been yelled at by a Doctor today!

Not THE doctor though. That would have been a little bit cool.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Noel Fielding?
Christ. Not on my watch. Paterson Joseph should do a good job, I reckon.

I did read yesterday though that Eddie Murphy is rumoured to be playing The Riddler in the next Batman film.

If this is true, I'm going to slap Christopher Nolan right on the ballbag.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

TGB
What are you doing with yourself at the moment? I know you've not started your new uber job so what's your stopgap job at the moment?
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:45, Reply)

I'd support that!
DiT. Damn what a craptastic casting that would be.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:45, Reply)

I wish I had a qualification in
Doctor-ology.
It'd be great, nobody would bat an eyelid if I sliced up an old woman at a bus stop :)

Also, if Eddie Murphy is the Riddler, it'll be stabbing time.
Fuckin' disgrace.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:45, Reply)

DiT
I'd slap him in more than his ball bag, i'd kill the stupid fuckwit!

Badger, I can't remember the last day I wasn't shouted at by a doctor!

EDIT CU, the fun would never end, and the plus point is that nobody would be able to say that they could make it, as we could have the bash, and get back in time for whatever else was happening!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Holy mother of pearl
Since when was the joker black? Next Batman will be a woman and Robin and elephant.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:46, Reply)

Shitsticks
Im having a totally bad language day. Which makes work hard! I shouldn't have come in today :(


I think they want that Transformers kid to be Robin by the way.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:49, Reply)

My car is called the Batmobile
Although it bears absolutely no resemblance to it. So I think I should be Batman.

(it was because of the Todd Terry track Bango (to the Batmobile). Acid house FTW!)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:50, Reply)

I'm working for PPD
And if she is reading this I'm not here or bored... lalalalalalalala
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*greens*
Morning again...

My hangover is in full swing and I don't feel good at all.

I wish I could remove my own head and put it in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Anyone have any good recommendations for remedies?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Well...
Maybe I'd slap him in the ballbag with a plank of wood embedded with rusty nails!

If I was going to cast it, I think I might go for Jason Bateman as Riddler.

I've also heard that Shia TheBeef might be Robin and Rachel Weisz might be Catwoman.

This is getting dangerously close to looking like a bad film, isn't it?

@PJM - Hair of the dog? More seriously, a McDonalds Cheeseburger, Full-Fat Coke (or other similar brand) and a Mars Bar. You'll be right as rain.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

Car names
My old car was called Arthur because it had a dent in the bonnet when I bought it.

My current car is called The Doctor because the tie bar wasn't fitted properly and used to knock a lot.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)

PJM
Flat Irn Bru and cold pizza works wonders!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:53, Reply)

ahah!
an internet quiz said I'm intelligent and witty and individual!

Suck on that suckers :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:55, Reply)

My fiesta is
called The Hoggmobile. Which is frankly the best name for a car ever. Excpet my Marina which is called Jubley
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

Hmmm...
I think that I should just stick to playing myself.

*sends Kaol Black to the BBC*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

PJM
You of all people should know the answer is whisky!

Failing that, as many of the following as you can lay your hands on:

Greasy meat (if you can't get your hands on anything cooked, hit the cheese or anything similarly high in cholesterol)
Ibuprofen
A massive joint
A wank
Multiple cups of strong tea
A Star bar
Booze of any sort
More booze
Sleep
About a gallon of water
Smack
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:57, Reply)

@Kaol
I just read that completely wrong...

*Splutters*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Much as I enjoy watching Doctor Who
I don't watch much telly otherwise, and very few films, so I have no idea who most of these people are that you're talking about.

But I do think David Tennant is the best Doctor in the history of the series. He's even overtaken Tom Baker in my estimation. He'll be a hard act to follow.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

@Sam
Any particular order to that list?

One or two might get me thrown out of the office.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Morning
Not going to be here long (what do you mean 'thank fucking christ for that?) as it's Christmas party day.

I'm gonna be sooo shitfaced when I get home tonight.

Noel Fielding as the Doctor? Sounds like the Tabloids are having a slow news day to me. A bit like when the show first came back and the Sun was adamant that Paul Daniels had the role.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)

PJM
As I said, as many as you can manage!

If you complete the whole list you get 250 points though.

Tonight is Mad Friday where I live, anyone else have this tradition? All the builders etc have the day off for their Christmas meal, most of them will be drinking already by now. Town will be absolute carnage by the time I get out!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:01, Reply)

My first ever car...
Bless it, was called the Horny Monkey Mobile (the last three letters of the Reg plate were HMM).

I still miss the groan the clutch made whenever it was, aha, depressed. Nova Power!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

We don't get a Christmas do.
*frowns*

So tonight I'm having curry with a friend, and tomorrow is my fake birthday :D
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

I've got you
fake presents though so that's ok
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

I have never heard
of Mad Friday. But lots of places are having their works dos today (including here) and the roads were much quieter this morning, presumably because people are either not at work, or at least not driving to work but going by alternative means.

Edit@DiT - sounds like a knackered thrust bearing!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

@CU
I talk to mine. Things like

"Shut the hell up you stupid bint!" at my Sat Nav which will continually demand that I do a U-turn if I should deviate from the recommended route.

"Oh for fuck's sake" when the traction control and vehicle stability system goes for a shit as it occasionally does for no reason. Restarting the car sorts it though.

Yes, it's Italian. Oh for simple electrics and decent mapreading skills.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Morning all!
DiT - I always try to name my cars based on the last 3 letters of the registration too.

My last car was called Vince, on account of having VNC as the last 3 letters.

My current car doesn't have a name. Any suggestions based on a last 3 letters of ZJK?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:06, Reply)

TGB
You're lovely :D

I'm looking forward to a sensible number of fake drinks.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

The New Doctor?
Richard Wilson. Time we had a crusty old bugger again.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Back again
Hello to the new arrivals.

*hugs for everybody*

I've now finished all of my work so will be here all day (poor you)!

I don't drive, but I do talk to my iPod, sometimes I even get funny looks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

No idea
I searched for acronyms for ZJK and there aren't any for that!

I bought that W124 btw duck, bloody lovely. Although it needs a new track rod so it's off the road until I can afford to pay for one :( Second hand Benz parts from a breaker are probably more expensive than new Ford ones!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Registration letters
Mine ends in PXR. PiXaR?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Duckie
You should just call your car JK and wear silly hats whenever you drive it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Duckie
I think some sort of Russian name with the letters ZJK in it would work nicely.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@CU
Hahahaha, that's very sweet.

What car is it? Something old and cherished?

Modern cars are anodyne and lack personality.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

I
Don't understand naming machines. Never have, never will.

It's just me I suppose.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

I don't name most things.
But I have a knife called "The Bloodener".
Well, half of it.
There was an accident.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

@K2
ORLY? Interesting, I'm told that all Novas circa 1986 had a clutch squeak. I do hope the chap that bought it off me didn't die!

ZJK? How about Zanzibarian Jailbait Killer?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Quantum leap is awesome
Oh Boy!

I think it's smoke time soon....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Hello again all
Kaol, I was showing someone degloving the other day. They nearly threw up a lot.

And my car doesn't have a name. It is all new and soulless. Meh.

Hey DiT, Badgerface, other people that weren't here when I was earlier.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:19, Reply)

You demonstrated degloving for real? Impressive
Hi Penguin!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Kaol
I have accidents like that..

My brother was far from amused when I dented the tip of his new knife by dropping it through my food while hilariously drunk.

I believe he came home to find the knife on the floor in a pool of blood and woke me to find my foot stuck to the bed.

Now THAT was a painful morning folks!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Ah... Degloving...
I've had to dress a degloving injury.
It was quite messy.

Although the red meaty-ness did cause the thought of "trying a bit" to creep into my head...

EDIT: Darras, you tard! Hahaha! Hope there was no lasting damage...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

haha
Darras I has a moment of "what the hell were you eating that dented a knife?!"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

Haha!
Zanzibarian Jailbait Killer - I like it!

I'll break the news to it later.

I actually do talk to my car - it's supposed to understand what I'm saying, but it's remarkably cloth-eared. Telling it to turn the temperature down usually ends up re-routing the sat nav to Droitwich or somewhere.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I didn't even scar!!
Badger I can only assume that I had the munchkies and was trying to find some food when I found the shiny...

It happens, I am accident prone :D


EDIT: I now see my embarrassing typo. It was my foot that the knife went through, not my food!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)

Our sales director has a Jag, duck
I had to go and pair his new phone to the Bluetooth thingy because he has no technical skills whatsoever.

He tried to demonstrate the voice dialling feature and it didn't get a single one right, kept dialling other people entirely!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Sam
I know - it's pretty crap.

Fortunately, I had a small hand in helping to develop the new version of it, which works remarkably well. It went into production this summer, and I might look to see if I can retro-fit it to mine.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:27, Reply)

Accident Prone
I can only say that I've had some strange accidents. Mostly involving things impacting my head!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Ooh, nice. Do you work for them then?
Voice dialling/controlling of stuff (not just cars) will be well good when someone actually manages to make it work. I tried ViaVoice out once and even after training it to my voice it just outputted absolute gibberish!

All this talk of cars is making me very sad that I have to get a lift to work in a sodding Vectra whilst the Batmobile sits on the drive :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

At the risk (OK, certainty) of sounding sexist
why are sat-nav voices female by default? Every man knows women can't read maps, so we're not going to trust an electronic one telling us where to go.

/misogyny

Sat nav is crap anyway. The one time I've used mine to go somewhere without actually looking at a map first, I got lost. Usually I just look at a map, memorise the route (in a kind of vector graphic way) then get in the car and drive there.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

Darras...
Impressive!

I seem to be more-or-less immune to knife-related accidents.

Although I managed to punch myself in the mouth last night... So I'm not entirely stupid-proof.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

@Batmobile?
What is it?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

I've never dropped a knife through my foot
but I did once stick a garden fork through the web between my toes.

And nearly cut off my left index finger with a Bushman saw!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

My first car was a Nova
1.0l and didn't go anyway fast.

I got rid after I discovered it struggled overtaking a bus.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

K2
I much prefer the female voices - if you use the male ones they have more of a tendency to get obscured by the road/car noise, as they're lower in frequency. Don't know if that's the reason for them being default but it wouldn't surprise me.

I use sat nav by looking up the route on a map/the internet and programming about 10 via points into it so it takes me the best route instead of one it made up when it was smoking crack.

Edit: @ PJM - My pride and joy. Fully loaded as well.

It's a 3.0 straight six diesel so it's about the speed of a snail, but who cares when you're travelling in that much style? Also I can get nearly 50mpg out of it even with an auto box, if I drive half sensibly, which is pretty impressive. Only downside is the insurance...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Kaol
wish I'd seen that :p

I have a long list of mostly embarrassing and pretty improbable self caused injury.

My favourite was the time I jumped onto a plug (not deliberately) and it went through my foot. I did scar from that one.. Seriously though, ALL three prongs right in! One came out the other side..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

(sorry)
It's a big black car driven around by Batman but that's not important right now.

:edit: My comedy timing is far too slow =[
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

Sam
I do indeed.

In a nutshell, I develop the software that controls the engines and gearboxes in all Jags and Land Rovers.

This has some caveats attached. Unfortunately I have to test the software at all speeds, in all conditions and in all climates, as well as doing comparisons with competitors. It's such a drag, having to drive all sorts of exotic cars in all sorts of places.

Some people end up jealous of my job for some reason.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

@Sam
Sat-nav should work like Google maps does. You give it a start and end point, then it works out the route. But here's the good bit - you can then click and drag the route to the way you want to go, and it will recalculate.

Genius.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Rubberduck
Sounds great. Can you reprogram my ECU to liberate an extra 5mpg?

And about twenty five more horsepower?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:33, Reply)

That sounds horrific Darras
But surprisingly, you aren't the first person I have heard that's done that.

And Kaol, that makes you pretty stupid.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)

*winces*
Plug-foot sounds bad...
Although NOTHING is worse than standing on Lego when you're really hungover.

On the subject of stupid accidents...

*looks at rubberduck*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:34, Reply)

How rude Kaol
How dare you suggest that rubberduck was not conceived deliberately!
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:35, Reply)

Sounds pretty good rubberduck
Let me know if you need a tea boy.

@ PJM - yes he probably could, but do you really want it to break down any more than it does already? :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

PJM
Chances are, if I just stripped out all the emissions-related crap it would liberate more than 5mpg and 25 horsepower alone.

I *cough* did that on my car and it freed up 72 horsepower according to the dynamometer, and now does about 20mpg instead of 18mpg.

Kaol - accidents? What accidents?
*tries to look innocent*
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

PoD
Im not the only one?? Hurrah! I've waited years to hear that :p

Kaol and V you just made my boss suspicious that I'm not actually doing anything constructive because I laughed quite loudly.. Poor duck.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

In non accident related news
Majel Barrett Roddenbury died yesterday of Leukemia.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

*sighs*
Not what I meant, V!

Also, the mouth-punching was due to filling up my lighter, and the valve-bit shooting out, as I fucked up.

Is that better or worse?
Smoking damages your health, kids...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

The emissions regs are rubbish
When I had a mk6 Transit I blanked off the EGR (diverting exhaust gases into the air intake? Genius idea... Or not) with a bit of beer can and got about an extra 100 miles per tank!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Well Darras,
I do get the feeling that it may have been someone else related to this website. Perhaps someone in this thread could confirm this for me?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Kaol
Would have been funnier had it been a random tic..

My friend Bjarte missed his girlfriend as he went for a kiss and ended up with a shiner because the hand that was supposed to end up around her neck ended up in his eye.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:40, Reply)

When I was really fucked once
I went to kiss my then girlfriend on the forehead (she was a lot shorter than me) and managed to forget I had a fag in my mouth. Burnt her forehead up by the hair line, I saw her a few weeks ago and she still has the scar!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Just to refresh on my stupid accidents...
Scraping some old wallpaper off the wall - 8 stitches in left hand

Opening a can of paint - 3 severed tendons in right hand, 5 hours in theatre and 17 stitches

Demolishing a conservatory - 8 stitches along the jaw

Connecting a trailer to a car - loss of all the skin on one knee.

Attaching a new magnetic catch to a wardrobe door - drilled a hole all the way through left thumb. 3 stitches.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:42, Reply)

Well...
I've never done that!
Due to lack of tic.

Although I do a great line in walking into things when I'm drunk, then loudly denying it ever happened...

EDIT: Yay, thanks Mr. Duck!
If you weren't so loveable, I'd consider locking you up in a B&Q overnight to see what happened...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:42, Reply)

ducky!
You make me look positively sensible and lucky! Thanks :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Bloody hell, and they let you drive fast cars?
My grandad put a 3/8" drill bit all the way through the palm of his hand a few months ago (he REALLY shouldn't be doing DIY). Somehow managed to miss everything important.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Ducky
How in gods green earth did you manage to do that to your hand opening a can of paint?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Sam
Did you split up fairly soon after that incident?

I managed to burn myself in the arm with a cigarette. I have no idea how because it's on the inside just under the elbow. *is stoooopid*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Ah, ducky
You're tales of stupidity amuse me every time. The worst I generally is smashing my head off things. The edge of a car boot was a bad one.

Cut across forehead + slight possibility of concussion + rest of day at wedding drinking champagne and wine = not the best idea.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

I got terrible whiplash
from a trampoline once..

It was the most awesome drunken fun ever!! The following two months weren't so entertaining.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

The only
car related incident I've ever had is making a stag (the animal, not the car) explode by barrelling into it at > 120mph on our test track.

Fucking thing. The car was a write-off.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Morning all!
I've been working on my xmas special comic this morning, so here you go!

I should have entered it into last week's QotW though...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

No, she was actually alright about it TGB!
That was a long way from being the worst thing I did to her. We were both in a very fucked up phase at that point. Not proud of some most of the things I did.

I have a big circle on my arm from trying to burn smiley faces into it with a Clipper, and holding it on for far too long through some sort of pissed masochism. My arm went septic and swelled up to about 3 times the size of the other one.

Dok - I think he must have been trying the karate chop method instead of levering the lid up with a screwdriver. Oh well, you live and learn!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Lab!
That's fucking awesome!

*grins*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

@Dok
Basically, it happened a bit like this:

- Want to open can of paint.
- Need a screwdriver. Can't find one
- Ahh, this table knife will do
- Wedge tip of knife into can of paint and try to pry lid off
- This is stuck a bit hard... Grip and push harder
- Hand slips, still gripping knife tightly.
- Gripped fist runs down blade of knife
- Lots of blood and complete loss of function of 2 fingers.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:50, Reply)

hehe
like the comic lab :p *hugs*
At uni someone smilied me with a lighter. Fucktard. I still have half a smilie scar five years later
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

Ouch
I can see an explosion of red, plastic and antlers.

Ouchy! You seem a tad accident prone, the comedy injuries from opening a tin of paint amused me.

I once washed up and needed three stitches.

I did fall off the back of a running machine once too. I grabbed the bar to stop myself falling on my face and in doing so removed all the skin from my kneecaps.

I had the choice of getting back on or having a cry. I got back on and ran the last mile with blood streaming down my legs, because I fancied the girl on the machine next to me.

I've broken a lot of gym equipment in my time. Three treadmills, four bikes, a step machine and two rowing machines to dat.e
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

I've managed to
Open the top of my thumb while making a model.

Get smacked in the head by an old style wooden swing.

Opened up my palm while working on a bike engine.

Go arse over tit off my push bike when I hit a wall. I was told my superman impression was quite good though. I can't remember due to smacshing my head on the ground!

Fell face first onto a wheel ramp.

Ran face first into a rather big tree, I didn't see it!

Sliced open my palm due to showing off!

And maybe some other head injuries that I can't remember!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

CU
Yep - I've got plenty of bad-ass scars!

I think I'm on first name terms with the staff at Selly Oak hospital's trauma department.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I've not got any impressive scars.
Few on my fingers from burns, cuts and stuff.
And a small round one in the middle of my chest from where I got shot with an air rifle.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@lab
That comic has made me a very happy Lusty!

*grins*
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Scars
I've not got many, but here goes:

One on my thumb from trying to open a Ki Ora bottle with a knife aged 8.

One on my wrist from putting my hand through a window aged 14.

One just below my knee, caused when I broke my leg by running into a brick bbq at 1am in the Sherwood Forest. While dressed as a ninja, being chased by samurai. Aged 24.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)

how do
had our work christmas do last night, staying over in a hotel on Dartmoor.

I've got one of those hangovers that gets worse as the day goes on...

some classy photos from last night. what is it about christmas parties that result in crazed debauchery?

edit: I've not got many scars. got one on the palm of my hand where I pinned a plastic bottle to it with a knife while making a bong...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:58, Reply)

duckie
are you bringing your lady friend for us to judge meet tomorrow?

Lab the BBQ scar is quite impressive! Chicks dig scars y'know :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

*hits completely underwhelmed with a rake*
happy to oblige
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

TGB
*cries*

I can't make it tomorrow. My car's used £800 extra this month, eating quite severely into my 'fun things' budget for the month.

I'll definitely be bringing her along to the first bash of the new year though.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Fantastic comic, Lab
I don't have many scars. One in my knee from the same incident that caused my front teeth to now be crowns, and a small one from the Bushman saw incident mentioned up the thread a bit.

I've lived a sheltered life!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I forgot to say,
I'm fully qualified in the use of a scalpel.
And I know where all the important blood-pipes are.

So if anyone wants impressively scarring, it's £20 an inch.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Yay accident prone peoples!
I began my career as a klutz aged three when I came screaming out into the garden covered in blood. Nobody knows what happened, I was too young to remember, but I still have a fairly substantial scar on my forehead.

Then.. Most notable ones, I grabbed my sister's dog by the infected neck accidentally and he bit me. I didn't want him put down as it was my fault so 11 year old me wore long sleeves all the way through a heatwave so nobody would know! My mother told me last year that she knew all along. Damnit..

Shattered my wrist playing with a sash window at college. That made my education as a musician challenging for a while!

The plug thing, and the knife thing.

I also ended up with a rusty nail through my foot and a torn webbing between big and second toes when trying to cut my front lawn (in south london) with a pair of nail scissors.

Ooh when I was 9 I was trying to tune my cello using pegs for the first time and the string broke and whiplashed into my face, I had this uber cool scar running from forehead to chin for yeaaars. Gone now though :p

I nearly drowned when I was 12 because I fell backwards into a horsetrough and got my head stuck under the water system in November and my family thought it was just too funny to get me out. I think I slipped on a half frozen cow pat.. Mmmmm

Oooh! I cut my thumb to the bone and even scored the bone permanently opening a can of kidney beans with a fork once. That was the day before a cello exam too. Right humiliating it was!

And my most recent, I rode my bike into a metal pole that ironically said 'cycle path' at high speeds and broke my collar bone. My bike didn't even get a scratch!

Im sure there are more but that'll do for now. I still think duck wins.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Good grief!
You lot have been busy on here today.

*sprinkles around kisses, hugs and boob-fondles*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

OK folks I need some advice
At tomorrows bash, should I wear my Fossil shark tooth, or my Rattlesnake spine necklace?

EDIT Hi Drixy lady *hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

You suck duck
I hope you know that

Dok spine spine spine!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

lo clendrix
:)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Darras
Why on Earth were you cutting your lawn with nail scissors?
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

I'm wearing my hat to the bash tomorrow.
Which either makes me look stupid, or awesome.
Depending on how much I like myself at the time, haha!

Dok, I'd say the tooth, the snake-bits sound fragile.
And I don't wanna damage you... I'm really sorry about the door, by the way :(
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

V
I think it was because I didn't want to write my dissertation.

I'd also spent nearly a week completely on my own and had subsequently gone a bit strange in the head :/
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

TGB
You're right. I suck.

I'm suitably ashamed, and will punish myself by going home and attempting some DIY. It'll most likely result in permanent disfigurement.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

Thanks for the comments about the comic!
Scars are awesome! In fact, my mum still has the scars I gave here during my birth :D

I was a c-section.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

darras - nice to see you around here again!
Dok, wear the rattlesnake thing.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

*runs in for a boob fondle*
*enjoys*

*motorboats clendrix*

*runs out again*
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Jesus tittyfucking christ
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7791007.stm
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Gawd blimey, Lusty!
*has lie down*

V - yum. Burgers with smell of sweat, farts and semen.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Kaol
They're not fragile, Bugger it I'lll wear both.

What did you do to the door?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:15, Reply)

I heard about that
on the news this morning V

The best quote was "I don't smell the meat!"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:15, Reply)

I hit you with the door
I seem to remember. Sorry!

What kinda shark was it? Megalodon or something :p Hahaha!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:17, Reply)

I am off work
with a hangover today.

Go and click this for me: www.b3ta.com/questions/addicted/post333332

(I promise, this is not a pimp as such, I didn't write this one)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Do you think that the burger scent
is marketed at lovers of the larger lady?
It's every feeders dream! He'd have all the lovely, wobbly pussy he could dream of.
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Don't remember that
So it coudn't have been that bad.

Yup, but a small one, I have a 5" Meg tooth in the house though!

And yet another Issey Miyake fan, I just love it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Awh, ok!
I'm glad it wasn't that bad :)

I've got a 3' Meg tooth, it's amazing!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Kaol,
I remember the door thing. It was dramatic and hilarious.

Thank god Dok was too pissed to remember.

*saves the thread for Kaol*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Aw I missed it :(
*snogs Clendrix*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

Drixy
It can't have been that bad, I wasn't that pissed that night.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

It was funny, although it made me feel a bit sad as well.
*snogs Badger*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

Aw
Why sad?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

*changes subject*
TGB, I'm bringing the hat out tomorrow night :D
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

*changes subject back*
Because you looked surprised and hurt, Dok.

Obviously you weren't, if you can't even remember...
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Can I try the hat on?
can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I? can I?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Yeah :D
Didn't you try it on when I came to stay?
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Surprised
But I always remember getting hurt and I didn't so no problem.

So what time are folks turning up tomorrow?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Hopefully
Around 6. Depends how/when my date goes and how far away from the pub it is.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Hey folks!
How are we today?

Again, sucks I'm not going to make it tomorrow!

*sends happy birthday vibes Kaol and clendrix's way*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

v
you're intending to end a date by 6pm? ouch :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

I think I plan to be there around 6pm.
Thanks Beekers!
*hugs*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

I don't think I did.....
I dunno why. Maybe I wasn't drunk enough
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

Or you were worried about messing your hair?
Haha!
I love the fact that Irish Tony thought I was bald...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Pickleface!!!
*hugs*

I have even less hair now! Had it all chopped off!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:40, Reply)

Again?
I saw the haircut you had a few weeks back...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

@all
Tomorrow night still on? Same place?

I will try to be sober...

And I will try not to set myself on fire.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)

Ooh!
*hugs Badgerface and clendrix*

You suit shorter hair Miss Badger!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)

Hair does grow
Kaol :p And I had it cut about 7 weeks ago
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)

Scarpe, woo!
The Yorkshire Grey :)
Not going back to the Horse And Groom again, it was a bit crap.

Oh right!
Sorry, it feels like only yesterday I was in your awesome presence...
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

@ Kaol
I quite liked that place.

Having said that, my critical faculties lessened the more the evening went on.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:45, Reply)

@darras
Well I think we're meeting around 2. She already knew I had previous engagements for the evening though.
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:46, Reply)

It did odd things to my brain.
I think it was the carpet.

Haha!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:46, Reply)

Oh yes, the carpet.
*laughs sarcastically*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)

I'd quite like to come to the fun party..
But you're a day too early. I don't land in England until sunday :/
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Well I think
that it's you who is a day to late Darras, get an earlier flight!

I like the Grey better as it has nice seats outside to sit on and stand round chatting!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:57, Reply)

shucks
Im always late!

Perhaps there will just have to be one at Easter. I make it to england twice a year these days :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

There is one at Easter
but it's in Edinburgh!
It's massive.
*wishes she got to say that more often*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Easter!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/14949
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 12:58, Reply)

hmm
I shall ponder. It's actually the wrong end of the country, I'm supposed to be in the south at Easter but perhaps there will be a way. Edinburgh does rock socks after all!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:00, Reply)

Personally
I think everyone should come to the York one at the end of next month.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:01, Reply)

York?
Nope, sorry!
I need to save money for America and Edinburgh.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:02, Reply)

@BK & Kaol
H&G is OK. I don't mind it. But Grey seems far better set for B3tans.

@Miss Drix...massive you say? Me and you should 'talk'

(yes, I did the cock size joke, sue me)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)

My sister in law
Just implied (AGAIN) that I am failure for not having had many babies by the age of 24. And then she commented on my great grade for Norwegian with the fact that she scored 98% on her latest essay for community college.

It took a lot of will power to not scream that I have a degree, am living abroad and speak a second language when she doesn't even have A levels!

DAMN she's annoying! And I don't even know if she does it on purpose or not :(
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:07, Reply)

babies are crap.
Dogs are the way forward.

*sues scarpe*
*wins*
*swims in money*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:09, Reply)

Darras
That's what in-laws are there for, to be annoying.

I get it all the time from my family about them wanting to be grandparents. It gets on my wick at times!

*steals some of Badgers winnigs*

The Milky Bars are on her!

/Milky Bar Kid voice.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Borrocks.
I don't know if I can come on Saturday. :(
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Oh Tightly!
*cries*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

DiT
*stares*

Why? Hope nothing is wrong.

EDIT HeHeHe I've just been given a Lindt chocolate reindeer. Nom nom nom!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

Tighty if you don't
then I will come after you with my candy cane shivs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:18, Reply)

Dok
That brings back terrible memories.

At primary school I wore glasses. I've grown out of needing them now as my eyesight sorted itself out.

There was the unfortunate side effect though that I was the spitting image for the milky bar kid. Kids being kids, that was my name at school until about the age of 10.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:19, Reply)

@TGB
How is it going, swimming in the few coppers I have in my account?

(Is it account or acount?)

Edit: Having seen that come up on screen, I know it is the double C.

(I wish I could say the same about my girlfriend)

YES! Cock and tit size jokes in two posts...
*Iz proudz*
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Double C

( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Sorry Ducky
At primary school I had the nickname of Jaws, because I liked to draw sharks, and bite people.

I also had another one, but that is not being revealed, not even under torture!

Oh that reminded me. Badger how was that thing on torture last night?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:26, Reply)

So, Dok,
how bad would it be if someone else revealed your other nickname? You poor, indiscreet drunkard ;P

Afternoon all!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:38, Reply)

I would
Have to torture you.

Well it would depend on wwho you told really!

nd yes I did know that you knew what it was Wookie!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Arg!
I have been an idiot and double booked myself! I'm all of a quandary now!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Oh good!
*sits and waits for revelations*

Oh Tightly - what are you like?
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Cloning, DiT.
It's always the easy answer to problems.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:41, Reply)

It was
disappointing Dok.

ALl modern stuff I wanted crazy medieval stuff!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:42, Reply)

@ Tightly Thrice Nightly...
I double booked myself once.

It was very difficult telling my left hand to go away because the left one got there first.

(does that even make sense or am I still drunk?)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Back from lunch.
My office-mate is going home soon, as he's ill, so I'll be here on my own with the trainee...
:|
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Two Tightlys!
*wants them both*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)

I'm not sure the world could handle* two of me.
*bear
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:50, Reply)

My last post
would have made a lot more sense if I hadn't said 'left' twice.

Bugger.

*goes back to bed*
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Oh dear God
I've fallen victim to the curse of the Secret Santa. My gift to this: a tasteful desk ornament (Penguin of Death thing). The gift I received: a tiger-print posing pouch with purring crotch. I feel curiously violated.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)

@Devil
I have no experience to base this on (apart from that night I drugged you)

But I really like the idea of calling you 'Tightly Thrice Nightly'.

So from now on, I will.

And there is nothing you can do about it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:53, Reply)

DiT
There's no quandary, unless the other thing involves the most beautiful woman in the world then come out with us!

Badger, that's just crap, I like the medieval stuff, so much fun, I could play with them for ages.

You'll just have to wait Drixy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

My old job...
We did a secret Santa there.
I gave a bottle of whiskey.
I got a box of chocolates that were a year out of date.
Still ate them, but they were horrible.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Scarpe...
are you going mental, or something?
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:57, Reply)

I love Mental Scarpe
Best of all the animals.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

Fucking posing pouches...
And no, you can't have a picture of me wearing the thing. It would put you right off your cornflakes.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Drixy
What do you mean, going. He went ages ago!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

In my last job
I got my secret santa a nice thingy from Lush.

I, however, never received anything at all. It appears my secret santa was fired, and no-one thought about replacing my gift.

Oh sure, I was full of "it's fine" and "I don't mind" and "seriously, it's fun watching all 90 of you with your presents", but on that day I died a little inside.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Back from the pub
My Christmas lunch was shit, and the beer was off. Rubbish!

Less than 3 hours til the proper piss up begins...

Edit: 300, woo!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:12, Reply)

CU
Mince Pies are the spawn of evil!

Stay here with the nice people.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:13, Reply)

I think next year
We should do a b3ta secret santa. Well, an offtopic one. Two rules- no sexually related gifts, but joke gifts are allowed. Two- insulting presents not allowed, say bars of soap for the hygienically disadvantaged. What do you think?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:13, Reply)

Next year?
That's ages away.
I might be dead by then!
I tend to only plan a month or so in advance, although the Edin-Bash is a special exception.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Oh, OT won't exist next Christmas.
We'll all be bored with each other.

In fact, I don't think I'm even going to make it to New Year.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Who knows?
We can but see.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:20, Reply)

It's quite possible...
I do get bored with things quite quickly...
But b3ta does keep me out of other kinds of mischief, which is good :D
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:21, Reply)

You lot already hate me
So what the hell!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:22, Reply)

*prods Dok with a stick*
Ha-ha!
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:26, Reply)

*yawns*
I am bored of you all already
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:27, Reply)

Ouch
See I told you she hates me, prodding me with a stick she is!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:28, Reply)

*returns*
Well, I've just finished rather a fine Christmas lunch, with even finer wine.

Not too much though, as I've to drive later.

How are we all this fine afternoon?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

K2
That bad Drixy hates me and is prodding me with a stick, and Badgers bored of everybody!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Hello K2k6!
I'm bloody happy because I can go home whenever I want and then I'm on holiday for two weeks! Yay!

Dok! YOU were the one who said everyone hates you! I don't like to disagree, that's all.

/always agreeable
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Drixy
I finish today as well, Woo & Yay.

You are still prodding me with a stick though!

Oh gods the oldies are having a spat!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:35, Reply)

This isn't a spat.
This is teasing.

I'll be on the gin tomorrow so if you want a spat, that's the time.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:35, Reply)

I've still got
another two and two half days to work before I'm off. (As opposed to three days, if you see what I mean - I finish Wednesday lunchtime).

But that's OK, as I prefer having my long hols in the summer when it's warm.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:36, Reply)

I hate you all.
I've got to come in on Monday, for some crazy reason.
*sighs*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:36, Reply)

I have to work
Monday and Tuesday. And probably sometime between Xmas and New Year as well.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Well K2 & Kaol
That sucks!

Oh god Drixy, not the gin, I'll have to remember to be a very good boy then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Im done
in 45 minutes. And how they crawl! Man.. But then yay! two weeks off for me also :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

Oh God
Now my colleagues want to see me wearing it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:39, Reply)

*joins in*
I'm working christmas eve, I think the overseer is bringing the grandkids into the office.

Pity me. Pity me now!
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:39, Reply)

*dutifully pities lusty*
Also pities piston.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:41, Reply)

*pities Lusty*
I've to work til Choosday. But then I'm off til the 3rd Jan, so that's ok.

EDIT: Is it a Monkey posing pouch? Does it make sound?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Where is my pity?
I can haz pity? :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:44, Reply)

I pity you TGB.
My word, how I pity you...

EDIT: That sounded about the most sarcastic thing I've ever typed :(
Sorry!
*hugs*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)

*sulks*
*throws away Kaols Birthday present*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:47, Reply)

I Pity
Everybody who has to work next week.

I know because I normally have to do it myself!

*hugs to all the working people*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:48, Reply)

Kaol..
that was accidentally sarcastic?

Blimey.

8/12 - news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7790312.stm
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)

*fishes present out the bin*
I'll let you off this once...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Er...
I edited...
Sorry :(

I'm typing half-distracted today, I need to proof-read better!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)

I have to work on Christmas Eve
Should finish half day though.

I'm trying to build up enough flexi to sack the day off, but even though everyone knows we're going to finish at lunch it's sort of unofficial, so I have to expend a whole day's flexi on it!

Not back til the 5th though, they decided it was harsh to make us come back on a Friday.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)

@clendrix
I got 7/12 but they were mainly (slightly educated) guesses!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Oh Good Lord
They're all trying them on now. The sight of a "larger man" trying to get them past his knees requires much mindbleach.

/Edit

It's a tiger-print thong.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Despite my moaning,
I'm off from Tuesday next week 'til the 5th January.

But I'll be away from the 'net most of that time *cries*
Not that it matter much, I guess, haha!
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:56, Reply)

on sunday
as soon as I land at Stansted, I'm going to buy me a crunchie bar!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Two whole weeks
for me as well, and one of them will be mostly away from the net, maybe, I don't know what I'll be doing yet so I'm making no promises!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Awh Darras,
You'll be ten minutes from my house!
I'd invite you over for a cup of tea, but I'll likely be crying at my hangover in London.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:02, Reply)

I'll be having a bit
of a b3ta holiday too.

*sads*

I'm on holiday from lunchtime on Christmas eve until whatever time I get here (probably about lunchtime too!) on the 6th of January.

*happies*

But I'll log on from time to time, no doubt. In between eating, drinking, sleeping, gigging and other things that I may or may not be doing over the festive period.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:02, Reply)

I'll definitely be on here a lot less than I am at work...
But don't think I'll abandon you all entirely!

Who's going to be sad enough to post on Christmas Day then....?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:06, Reply)

I'm gonna have no 'net
From... Christmas eve 'til about the 3rd of January :|
So I would, but I can't.
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:07, Reply)

I'll not have any 'net either.
Stupid BT and their stupid phone line not bloody well working!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:08, Reply)

I'll be at my mums
pissed playing games so I probably won't be about on xmas
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:11, Reply)

I shall be at my sisters
But I'll be home later on, and I may even be online!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Kaol
unless you're going to meet me at the airport, crunchie bar in hand, I aint interested :p
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

If I had a pound for every time I heard that... :(
*sighs*
( Cawl, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

*crosses fingers*
If I carry on being a good girl til next week Father Christmas should be bringing me a new notebook.
I feel like I'll have to post from it on christmas day just because I can.
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:19, Reply)

I have internet all the way through
So it goes.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:19, Reply)

*does the holiday dance*
wooo home time! I'm out,

luck with the date V.

Have fun at the bash everybody. I look forward to the humiliation of photographs :)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:23, Reply)

Bye Darras
Have a good one.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Oooh, Lusty!
You must have been a really good girl this year!

Did you request a particular type of notebook?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

A new notebook, Lusty?
That's nice. How many pages?

And does it have lines, or just blank paper?

/coat
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

I imagine I'll pop in on Christmas Day
but I'll be with my brother, sister-in-law and Dad having a good time (we're determined!) so only briefly :)
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:30, Reply)

@DiT
Samsung NC10.
Not the flashest, bestest one there is but more than what I need.
It looks pretty too :)
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)

@K2
You're making me feel old. I thought the exact same thing the second I read her post =[
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:34, Reply)

V's feeling old?
*climbs into coffin*
*closes lid*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:37, Reply)

Drixy
Get out of my coffin!

Did you not see the reserved label?

;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

I know
It's a sad day when the youngest man around feels old.

Earlier I was compared to a 45 year old divorcee with a drinking problem...
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

You can't be feeling old, clendrix
You're younger than I am. And I'm only, well, not that old yet.

Although I usually refer to a portable computing device as a 'laptop'. A notebook to me is still a cellulose-based product for taking handwritten notes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

@Clendrix
You're only as old as the Lusty you feel!
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:42, Reply)

I still call them laptops as well...
But the NC10 is technically a netbook I think.

/pedantry
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

*immediately feels Lusty*
*feels love*
*feels boobs*
*feels fab*
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Why is Lusty
Eating ice lollies at this time of year?
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:45, Reply)

V - terrible!
But you get away with it cos you're lovely.

Right groovers, I've decided to send myself home. Yay!

Hope y'all have fun weekends.
( thealternativefact, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)

@Sam
Tis all the same to me.
I just wanted something small enough to go in a bag :s
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:47, Reply)

Wowser!
You lucky thing!

I'm looking forward to Christmas this year, I'm feeling very yuleish!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Cya Drixy
Yup I'll have a good weekend!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:50, Reply)

Clenders
I've been told I make Dad jokes. They seem to be the only ones I make. The girl I was on a date with last weekend commented on it. That can't be good...
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:50, Reply)

My laptop fits in a bag
although it's quite a big bag...

But I hope Santa's good to you, Miss Lust. Then you can gaz us all wirelessly!

Edit@V - seeing as you discussed all the taboos, tell her the one about the difference between oral sex and anal sex.

Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your whole week.

It only works when said out loud though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:50, Reply)

I like that joke
She'd probably appreciate it with a groan too ;)
( Captain V, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:52, Reply)

@captain V
Yeah when I'm out on a date and someone groans I know I've done something they appreciate :)
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 15:54, Reply)

Bloody hell
I've had to get the jump leads out to resuscitate the thread again.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:17, Reply)

I'm fucking off home.
Have a great weekend everyone.
See some of you tomorrow night!

*grins*

*waves*

*jiggles*
( wanderlust, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:22, Reply)

Have a good one, Lusty
*attempts to jiggle back*

*fails*

*waggles cock instead*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:26, Reply)

Right then
I'm off to perform some vehicular endieselment then I'm off home.

Have a good bash/weekend/festive period everyone.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:38, Reply)

This SirStromming person
Specifically b3ta.com/questions/addicted/post333850. Something doesn't ring true. Could an IT bod let me know on this?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:53, Reply)

Altered!

( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

As in, the details of his story?
It's made up. I know who he is as well.

Wouldn't be surprised if the details of the story are incorrect.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 17:00, Reply)

Not doing our reputation any good, is it?
Now why does it read like something out of Donny Darko?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 19 Dec 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Right-o, folks!
As it turns out, I've been paid a little early, so I'm off do do some Primary Gifting Period Shopping!

Have a great Friday night, all!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 17:19, Reply)

I call bull too SOSamIAM
No school network would give him the admin/network access to do it.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 18:50, Reply)

*Runs in*
Admittedly they've got a lot better recently but a few years ago most school networks were an absolute joke.

When I started secondary school in 92 I managed to get myself full admin rights to 3 of the 4 servers within 6 weeks.

That lasted till the third year when they went from a Novell based network to an NT domain structure. By then I'd made friends with some of the cool kids and had stopped messing around so much with the school computers anyway.

While the story still sounds dodgy somehow don't attribute too much to the school network not being horribly insecure.

*Runs out again*
(bill, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 19:15, Reply)