Merry Christmas, and thank you
Time for a bit of sappiness.

I want to wish you all a merry Christmas, but I also want to thank you. The first 3 months of this year were horrendous for me, but you lot let me come on here and babble on about it, and didn't judge me for it, and sent me lovely pm's and clicked on my stories.
And it gave me hope. And now my life is getting better and I'm learning to be happy again.

So thank you.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 14:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mock the Queen
Things you'd rather not hear on the Queen's speech.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 14:53, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Merry Xmas
It's now 1.42 am in Oz so it's officially Xmas....





first


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 14:43, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone's clearly taking the piss...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/nottinghamshire/7798194.stm
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 24 Dec 2008, 11:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why...
Why am I sat here waiting for the QOTW to change then realising it's Wednesday so it's not going to happen...

Weirder still, why when I realise it's Wednesday do I suddenly get excited about the newsletter this afternoon?
(aroe_m0rre, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 11:48, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just received my new Mobile
A LG Renoir free on a decent £20 a month contract with 02. So far so good - the camera is excellent, the sound quality excellent, the touch screen excellent, the interface fast and the display also very good!

So as you can imagine I was very happy with my cheeky present to myself for Christmas (as noone else is getting me anything.. sob) but there is one monumentous, glaring, disastrous, face-eatingly frustrating achilles heel to end all achilles heel....

It's mp3 playback refuses to do anything other than alphabetical. I have 8 gigabytes of music loaded on and I can't listen to a single album in a sensible order. The phone automatically plays the songs back in fucking alphabetical fashion.


How stupendously retarded. I have searched a bit around the internet but can't find much further info regarding fixes... Does anyone have the LG Renoir and know of any workarounds?


Merry Xmas! TDW
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 10:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Speaking of folks weight in comedy gold
check out this relic:

news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Queen-Acknowledges-Difficulties-Caused-By-Credit-Crunch-In-Her-Christmas-Message/Article/200812415193250?lpos=UK_News_Carousel_Region_1&lid=ARTICLE_15193250_Queen_Acknowledges_Difficulties_Caused_By_Credit_Crunch_In_Her_Christmas_Message
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 10:20, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!
EVEN YOU FAT, DULL, EMO PRICKS.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 9:39, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Come on then, you Beautiful, Beardy Bastards

You've been pushing hairs out of your chinny chin chins for weeks - post the evidence on this thread and let yourselves be judged.

PICTURES MUST BE ON THE THREAD BY JANUARY 5TH!
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 8:56, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

oh Pope, you're so crazy...
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7796663.stm

as I said when finding out about this on the main QOTW board.

The Pope is worth his weight in comedy gold
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 8:43, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Christmas Eve


Who's still working then?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 8:18, 170 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy Crispmuz everyone!
I am off to my parents for a few days where there are no computerers and I will be fed a diet of Eastenders and Deal or no Deal.

Nooooooooooooooooo!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 8:08, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

In your top forty Christmas gifts chart
at which number would you place oral sex?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:04, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Desparate?
This story would not really have made me laugh

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/singapore/3918516/Passengers-rescued-from-worlds-biggest-wheel.html

Until I noticed this line

"Regrettably the glass pods do not have lavatories."

Counterpointed with this line

"There are also surveillance cameras installed in every capsule for the operations team to monitor what is going on in all capsules."


I predict some "interesting" postings on U tube!

:)
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 17:29, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sweet fucking mercy - I really wish I'd made this up
My company has been holding an internal competition for 'Ideas to Beat The Credit Crunch', with prizes that aren't worth jack-shit in the grand scheme of things.

My idea was to kidnap the company chairman and hold him to ransom, but obviously I kept that one to myself.

Still, it was better than what was announced as the winner on the intranet a few moments ago. The winning idea came from the overly-coiffured heads of the sales monkeys in one of our regional offices. It was an acronym - T.O.P. - short for 'Targeting, Optimism and Putting in that extra effort'.

Fuck me - the things you read when you don't have access to a guided missile battery.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:03, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

anyone know a good website for finding out whether I can get my utilities cheaper?
most of them seem shit...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:39, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since it's the season of goodwill
I could really use a blow job.

please, no fat birds
(Jam Mincer Geordie is oiling his biceps, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:23, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just farted quite loudly
I thought you might like to know. Cheerio then.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:04, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
Who wants a hug?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:58, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A celebration
my ipod shuffle has just played 4 Monster Magnet songs in a row.

it must love me.

and no, it's not entirely full of Monster Magnet, it's filled at random from my music collection.

no, my music collection doesn't entirely consist of Monster Magnet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:53, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello Nerd World. JMG is on.
As it's Christmas, let's have some festive cheer to the point one of you reads this and completely handles the situation in an embarrassing manner, ranting and raving at JMG for being overly popular on your social hotspot.

I again hold the right to ignore some of the more shittier replies. No fat birds.
Baldmonkey for QOTW mod, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:01, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it wrong
that I enjoy watching Dog the Bounty Hunter?

Do you have any guilty TV pleasures?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:18, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have to admit
I've just found myself guilty of being angry about something on the internet.

I was reading comments on a story about Top Gear reviewing the Tesla electric car. Jeremy Clarkson said it had run out of charge, it hadn't, and now they are saying "we were showing what would happen if it did"

now obviously this last bit is a blatant lie, and they said the things actual range, and how long it would have lasted on their track.

The important thing is though: who gives a fuck?

I just read about 90 comments on this article with people complaining that they were lying and unfair and all this other bollocks.

I couldn't give a crap! They gave a reasonably fair indication of the performance of the car, and it's advantages and limitations, but more than that, they entertained me. Who gives a shit if they exercised a bit of artistic licence?

bah

/rant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:09, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it just me
Or am I the only person at work today?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:09, 416 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Im behind the times
I just found out MFI is closing down. Made funny by the fact that my MFI burnt down last year (bonfire night no less). All the workers were garunteed their jobs back.

It re-opened in October. Poor buggers.
(i should have joined myspace, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 23:11, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who remembers the stink palm from Mallrats
where Jason lee puts his hand down the back of his trousers and has a rummage around, in the aim of screwing over his best friend's dad? He said that the smell would linger for a long long time. We have a similar thing at work where you'll be delving around inside an animal's nether regions, pulling out faeces and the smell manages to permeate your gloves, thus rendering your hands with stink palm. Well today I made a discovery...wash your hands and then rinse liberally with surgical spirit to cleanse. Any cuts you have will make you scream like a girl, but the smell will be gone.



How's your day been?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 20:19, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had a crunchie bar
and it was awesome! Ah it's been a long time :D

Back in england for xmas, and it's so good to have real food again! Sausages! yes! Hurrah :D I'm a very happy girl right now :)

Just wanted to share the joy.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 20:09, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

O HAI THERE INTERNETS
I has question. I would like to purchase for the boyfriend a Mac game along the same lines as Return to Castle Wolfenstein and Call of Duty. Any suggestions? Also tips on where to buy in London (seeing as I am completely clueless about these things) would be much appreciated.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 19:19, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
a great British hero:

news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Milkman-Delivers-Cannabis-To-OAPs-Robert-Holding-72-Told-Police-He-Gave-Pot-For-Aches-And-Pains/Article/200812415191612?f=rss
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 18:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who says job centre staff don't have a sense of humour?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7796063.stm
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 22 Dec 2008, 17:15, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)