Are QOTW and QOTWOT separate entities?
Another point that CHCB raised in the FAQ thread was whether or not QOTW and QOTWOT were separate entities. Personally, I disagree. What do you think?



( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 13:43, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Saturday's thread

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 12:46, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm Baa-ack
I've been Internetless since new year. Broken Laptop and Sony were evil monsters of doom, who still have one of the laptops. (Went in the week before Christmas week, but back uplaptop died on new years eve)

What have I missed? How is everyone??
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 11:37, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Make all my major life decisions for me
I'm thinking that if I put some trousers on (and other stuff, obviously) I could go down the caff and have a full English breakfast.

OR

I could stay in and have a bowl of cereal. Or one of those probiotic yoghurt things. This means I can slob around in my dressing gown longer, and is probably better for me.

Vote now!



( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 8:42, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Being a cunt
CHCB raised an interesting point in the FAQ thread. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to endorse cuntish behaviour, as long as it's well-written (and preferably funny).

This is b3ta, after all.

What do you think?

I think being a cunt is...



( chart cat has an itch, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 8:00, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

how long can you go without sleeping?
i've been awake for close on three days now.i had a nap on thursday.everything seems quite far away.
is this alright?should i be worried?
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Sat 24 Jan 2009, 7:18, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Huuurm Swait Huuurm

Bit late and nobody else is here but what the hell.

Why not use this thread to critique my posting style and/or personal hygiene?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 21:04, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

M&A //////////////////////////
.
(sirolimus, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 20:11, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Kid lols
I fucking love how honest kids are. I just asked my 2.5-year-old why she pushed her 1-year-old brother down. ``Because it was funny.'' Which, let's face it, it kinda was. not that i could admit it at the time.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 18:53, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

/talk and /board seem to be failing at the moment
What wisdom or shelter will /off topic offer us?

Show us kindness in this time of need.
(__, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:14, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

this
I just officelold - hard

www.drunkrepublic.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=97:when-your-credit-card-signature-fun-backfires&catid=34:humor&Itemid=60
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:52, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello! I need help please.
It's my birthday next month and I share it with my best mate and because she's so awesome everything revolves around her.
This means that every year I go places I don't want to go and do things I don't want to do.
And please look in the reply for the rest of the story if you want.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:48, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Schadenfreude
This has just ocurred to me and, in these straitened times, I thought I'd share it with you.
Two years ago, my best mate had to hire a team of graduate sales people for his London operation. I ought to add that the company in question is the world's largest in its market. Frickin' huge American corporation, with all of the fringe benefits that entails, free health, good pension etc etc.

During the interview process he was continually calling me with stories of candidates' bad dress, lateness, arrogance etc. I was a little incredulous, as the company in question was THE place to work, if you were in that industry. I'd tried several times to get in, as had my mate. He'd been successful and I got out of that particular industry.

Once the interviews were over, he made offers to 10 people. Now remember that these were new graduates, straight from uni and this would be their first job.

They were each offered a £27,000 salary, bonuses in the first year amounting to potentially another £5,000, free private healthcare, a contributory pension which was matched pound-for-pound by the company, a FULLY-EXPENSED BRAND NEW CAR and the cachet of working for the biggest in their market.

Of the 10 offered, 7 accepted.

On the day they were to start, ONE turned up!

The rest said they "Were worth more in th emarketplace and were going for something better" or words to that effect. Six, to my knowledge, went into banking.


Wonder how they're doing now?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:21, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Funeral Songs
I was just pondering this earlier. It helps my depressed friend to talk about what song we'd have playing at our respective funerals. I have no idea why but I do it for him :)

Still. My song, I think would be Days by the Kinks.

Which song would you have played at your funeral?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:58, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Karen Matthews...
I just saw that she has been sent down for 8 years and have to admit feeling rather sad for her. Even if she gets out for good behaviour after three years she will probably miss the birth of Shannons first two children.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:42, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amsterdam
I'm taking Ms Hanky for a romantic week in Amsterdam for Valentines Day.

I'm hoping to get down to some depraved sexual acts involving animals and cashew nuts, but between doing that does anyone have any suggestions on good places to go / stuff to do in this fine, Dutch city???


thanks
Spanky
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:30, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amusing things that my sister-in-law says
Please feel free to add on your own amusing (slightly mental) in-laws' amusing quotes.


I'll have to write the main body in the first reply as it's turning out quite long!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:05, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

As it's quiet and dull in here at the moment
And following on from Monkeysex's question the other day about which b3tan you admired the most (I noticed that almost none of you feckers said me! But I'll gloss over that one for now...but I'll be watching...)

Anyway, if you could have a 'free pass' to anyone in the world - celebrities included - who would you spend a night of raw passion with?

The free pass would mean that no existing partner would be upset/jealous/ditch you and so on, it would be as if it had never happened.

Personally it's a difficult choice...probably either Daniel Craig (I know it's a cliché, but he's such a hard man in the Bond films - after the naked torture scene in the first one I just slithered off my seat in the cinema) or Mark Ruffalo - particularly as he was in 'In the Cut' - yet another hard man with bags and bags of rough sex appeal.

Erm...is it me, or is it rather warm in here?



**EDIT***

While I'm at it, erm, so to speak...
what is it about that particular person you're attracted to? Is it an entirely physical thing? I can think of men far more physically attractive than Craig and Ruffalo, but both of them have this slightly tough and almost mean streak to them which I find sexy - in my head anyway, in real life men who are mean are just plain unpleasant.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:35, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

surely this has been shopped
Brimham Rocks
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:00, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I know. Let's talk about boobies!
I have a theory.

It's about boobies and eyes and why men cant help themselves from staring at boobies with their eyes.

I make a real effort not to talk to the boobies. I try to talk to the eyes but there is genuinely a force pulling the eyes downwards towards the boobies.

My theory is that this happens because the eyes are spheres and boobies are kind of spheres and like planets, the sun and moon and all that, there is a gravitational pull of the eyes towards the boobies and perhaps even vice versa.

I was rubbish at science in school.
Can any science bods ratify my theory?

thanks
rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:37, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else finding these week's QOTW depressing?
I could be in a better position but it could be worse.

Made what felt like the right decisions at the time, and looking back I wouldn't have done anything different.

My main point is however, we get this shit rammed down our throats all over the news and the papers etc. the last thing I want to do is come to b3ta and find that the QOTW is full of people going "We're fucked!" or "I'm not fucked, but the rest of you probably are!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:15, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Proudly presenting the launch of my webcomic/blog
This is the start of an experiment, to see if running a full-blown webcomic is worthwhile or not.

I welcome constructive criticism!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:03, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Taking the Internetz Seriously
Now that's what I call serious
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:22, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Reoccuring nightmare - what does it mean?
So there I am. In my room on my own. With an enormous gigantic erection (in my dreams its always massive! What? its my dream after all). I'm trying to see how many ring donuts I can stack on my penis and then I reach into the dunkin donuts multi pack and horror of horrors - I've run out. No more donuts!! What do you think it means?

Actually this is all one big lie. It's actually jam donuts in the dream, but I feel a bit embarrassed about that.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:22, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got band practice
this weekend and my girlfriend just bought me a fantastic new guitar. I've decided i should experiment with different tunings. Normally I would tune it: Green Red Yellow Blue Orange, but I think I wanted to do 'dropped yellow'. So I'm thinking: yellow red yellow blue orange.

However, we do some bluesy stuff in open blue, so I was going to go for: Yellow blue yellow yellow orange.

Is there anyone good with tunings and can help me out. If it helps, my bass player has a 6 string bass with an extra low red.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:18, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Go on then
(Hi becks!)



*does best lusty impression*

It's fucking Friday, you fuckers!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:43, 194 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

where's the home sweet home/hate thread?
where are all of you donkey raping shiteaters?

love and kisses

/smelly bus journey
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

QOTW FAQ - First draft
Hello /questions boarders!

This is the first draft of an FAQ for the QOTW compiled by No3L and me from various grunts and gripes on this board over the last few weeks.

What do you think. Is it too wordy? Not wordy enough? Anything missing? Too patronising? Not patronising enough? Not enough swearing?

Comments please:

EDIT: Moved into replies, so it complies with its own etiquette guidelines :-)
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 5:26, 36 replies, latest was 4 years ago)