I'm in agony
I had a massive cyst removed from my nads earlier.

The plus side? It's wasn't bollock cancer, and despite the pain I'm in, this should be the end of it.

I'll be celebrating this evening by having a bath with loads of salt in it before gingerly trying to make myself comfortable in bed.

I been told not to wank for a fortnight (they know I'm single) and I've been signed off work for a week - what am I suppose to do with the free time?

Anyone got a more fun packed weekend planned?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 16:14, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Out of curiousity
does anyone else just not give a fuck any more?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:38, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Attempt at interesting discussion to appease Lords Monkeysex and Thegeordie
If you could be aaaaaany animal in the whole wide world, what would you be? You must of course validate this with opinions, interesting facts or humour.

Everyone laughs at the duckbilled platypus for being ridiculous looking. I think they're awesome because they're made up of bits of other animals. AND I found out recently that they have poisonous barbs on their back feet to stab fishies with. Oh yes, you mock it but it's not to be messed with!!

If I could be any animal....I wouldn't be a platypus, they're still too ridiculous. I'd be a panther because they kick all the other jungle animals' arses, they're arguably the coolest of the cats and they hide in trees.

And they come in black or pink!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:36, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going home in five minutes
I bet you're all very jealous.

Try not to cry.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 15:22, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Polygamy in the UK
I heard this debate on Radio 4 this morning and became more than a little irate...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7900779.stm

Regardless of any other arguments about religions, traditions and different cultures, why has nobody pointed out that, in the UK, treating women as a collectible commodity is kind of, you know, frowned upon these days?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:18, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic up
It's Friday, that means a new comic is up on my site.

Constructive criticism is welcome, as are gifts, love poems, and flashes of boob.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:09, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning you sexy whores


Everyone having a lie in today?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:02, 201 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evenunk bitches!


Enter at your own peril!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 20:17, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi guys & gals
Can anyone recommend a good biomech style tattoist? I'd prefer one that you've actually had work done by or know by reputation.

If I go through with it it'll be my one and only tattoo so I'd better make it a good 'un!

Have fun,

CP
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 18:04, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What would you do?
How to spend some money



(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:55, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

the ultimate sandwich
"Life is like a shit-sandwich, the more bread you got the better it tastes"

The earlier thread got me thinking, what's your ultimate homemade sandwich?
Here goes:
BBQ cajun chicken and roasted red pepper (bell pepper for the 'merkins), left to cool. Dice the meat and add a little mayo and a dash of tabasco, mix. Stuff inside a pita/tortilla cover with peeled roasted pepper, top with chopped cherry tomatoes and celery leaves mixed with fresh coriander leaves(cilantro for the 'merkins). A dash of worcester sauce on the greens.

NYOM NYOM
(knackerz is skinning up, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 10:56, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning cunts!
amuse yourself here you workshy fuckers

or not, see if I care

No, you can't have an image, kiss my ring
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 7:50, 339 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home
Evening all! Come in and play!


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 19:07, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Finally
The uncontrollable spiral into becoming Little America has begun. Our buddy-buddy relationship with the US has taken something special from us.

I mean, what the fuck is up with Mr Muscle?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 17:34, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gah.
I think I've gotten a dose of salmonella poisoning. Without going into detail, I think I can honestly say that after showering today I'm well scrubbed inside and out.

And to top it all, it's snowing here, making sloppy slush on the roads. I got here an hour late this morning.

So how are you lot?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 15:01, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It is my b3ta day
I feel AMAZING. Although I am gutted that I have been lurking for years and only actually signed up 365 days ago.

Tell me about your favourite birthday present ever. And whoever gets me a picture of the best cake will win my heart for all eternity...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:36, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Walkers
No, not those of you who like a ramble through a furry glen, or a mossy cleft but Walkers. The Crisps.

I feel that having now sampled the 6 new flavours, it is my duty to report my findings for those unable to do so, or those with tastebud malfunctions.

See thread for more...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:15, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wedding songs
Gracious people of QOTW/OT,
I'll be hanging up my boots next month and becoming an honest man. BE MY WEDDING PLANNERS.
What songs would you suggest as background musak for the event, keep in mind I live in Japan, more than half the guests are Japanese and the hotel is willing to play the backstreet boys and Celine Dion. I need to fill 2 hours.
Help a brother out.
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 13:21, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

G'morning, spunkbubbles
Have a HSH thread.


( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:59, 309 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm heading off soon
so have a thread to play with.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 19:39, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is there anything you don't believe in?

(Love Berts <---------------------, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 19:02, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone have anything good to say about Twitter?
just curious. I don't intend to use it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 17:01, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh this is great
Type "Find Chuck Norris" into Google and click I'm Feeling Lucky?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 16:26, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)