Tell me a story OT b3tans
it doesn't have to be true, or even your greatest wish. It does need a beginning, a middle and an end.

Subject is your best day sex and why?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 14:13, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ladies:
Taking it up the wrong'un - should you wait until the second date? Or will that make him think you're a frigid lezza?

Discuss.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 14:09, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I agree with Al and Bert
This place is getting fucking boring.

*shrugs*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 13:04, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Presents
I'm buying some presents for somebody. I already have facial hair and horse themed presents.

I just need a cock one now. I've been told that my cock with a ribbon on it doesn't count.

Ideas people!
( Captain V, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:47, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Pancake Day!
The day when we're supposed to use up our fat and eggs, and start absolution by confessing and penance.

Fuck that. Who would you most like to smack in the face with a large frying pan, and why?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:39, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I lol'd
www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=MytfhzcSF-Y
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:53, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Something strange happened to me yesterday evening.
I had a complete and utter deviation from my normal character and became a drama queen for the evening.

Has anyone else experienced a complete change from their normal personality and become the antithisis of who they are.

It was like being possesed with the spirit of Bianca from Eastenders.
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 9:56, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Harm Sweet Harm


Let's all take the day off sick and sit around in our pants drinking tea.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 7:43, 355 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I really don't see
why Jade Goody is front page on cnn.com. Sure. she's terminal and I wish the best for her final months, but she has had zero impact on anyone or anything in America
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 3:12, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH



Evening,

My class were fuckers today.

I made them march around the school and sit in silence for 3 minutes.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 23 Feb 2009, 20:09, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just did my sex face
I squished my finger between my reclining chair and the desk. Funny how pleasure and pain use the same face.

Anybody been through some serious pain lately?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 16:32, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Synonyms for genitals - help needed?
I'm writing a sex scene for something I'm working on. It's a historical thing, and I'm finding it quite hard to find decent synonyms for genitals that fit in with the time it's set (c. 500 BC). Therefore, words like "flaps", "pussy", "dripping cuntlips" etc don't really fit with the tone of the piece. And the few words I can think of are getting really repetitive.

People of b3ta, what words for (male and female) genitalia can you think of, that would be suitable to the era?

Any suggestions gratefully received, and if I ever get published there'll be a lovely big thanks to everyone at b3ta. Cheers!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:20, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Important decision: help needed
Morning all, it's in the reply.
( djtrialprice, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 10:01, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3ta taglines
Here are some suggestions for a b3ta tagline. Can you think of any?

b3ta - we're at our best when we're at our worst
b3ta - everything you want it to be and some things you don't want it to be
b3ta - you don't have to be psychotic to post here but it helps
b3ta gives me strength
b3ta - fight ridiculousness with ridiculousness
b3ta - you're not alone

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 9:26, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Monday morning!
Woo.


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 7:58, 349 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sickipedia hacked
don't know if anyone here is a sickipedia fan, but some sad cunt has hacked it. completely buggered all the voting and top jokes up, and made it impossible to read user profiles. grrr.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 4:57, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Good morning off topic.
I've just watched 'In Bruges'
Did anyone else find it hilarious, yet deeply moving? I'd say this is definately one of my new favourites :)
(p-arran-oid prolapsed here, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 1:11, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shameless pimping
Mr Liveinabin has spent the whole half term making a Little Big Planet level.

Search for liveinabin to find it.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 22 Feb 2009, 22:16, Reply)

@ bashers
Thanks to all for a rollicking good time. Had no doubts it would be good. Anyone up for Karaeoke next w/e? Report back if yes.

Boy wonder was also duly impressed with our night. Cheers, friends.
( cackers, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 19:30, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Howdy fuckers!
Have a HSH thread! How's everybody's heads after the bash????


(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 22 Feb 2009, 6:45, 146 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What really gets on my tits!
People who introduce themselves as "BOMB" or "SCAR"

That's not your fucking name it's Tarquin.

And you're not an anarchist, your Dad is a GP and your Mom is a secondary school teacher. You're practically middle class.

The only state you're smashing is your own mental state with the gallons of hallucinogens you ingest with your Dad's prescription pad!

Cunts!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 1:25, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bashwards
I hate public transport. I have to catch a bus to where I'm catching a coach to London, then I'm walking up the road to Victoria and catching the tube to Oxford Circus, then I'm - well, it'll be about 5pm so I might window shop for a bit before heading for the Yorkshire Grey. Or I might go straight there and have something to eat.

Then I have to do the whole thing in reverse while drunk. Possibly as a skunk.

Timing! I even had an anxiety dream last night where I had 7 minutes to get from my house to the coach.

Anybody else get anxious about missing the bus/train/plane?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 12:42, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Saturday, February 21st,
4.30am in Southern California.

And your favourite fishbitch is GOING FISHING! Get in the boat, fish! Get in the boat, fish!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 12:38, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

dear everyone.
I love all you cunts cos you make me smile ALL the fucking time.

Love from,
Your favourite underage lesbian antipodean vampyrecat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 2:00, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

British Invasion
I am Jameson in airport lounge. Must not die sober! Windy conditions here.

See some of you tomorrow. Watch out, Blighty, here I come.
*real BEER*
*curry chips*
ah
( cackers, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 0:42, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

aaaaaaargh
Fucking football.

That is all.
( djtrialprice, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 21:58, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For lovers of fluff
In reply, I'm in watching QI.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 21:25, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For lovers of fluff
In reply, I'm off out to get drunk :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 20:06, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes! Final! Is Partial Compendium Latvian Humor Joke! You Await!
Joke:
Three men are in ship. One Latvian, one Russian, one Lithuanian. Lithuanian take out one bottle wodka. Russian kill Lithuanian, then drink wodka. Then Latvian wait until Russian drink self to sleep, then kill. Is end.

Joke:
Latvian: Is so cold.
All: How cold is?
Latvian: Very. Also dark.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:11, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)