Any of you cunts back at work?
I am, but only for a day.

All well?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 8:56, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I got up early to go to the gym but then found out I needn't have.
All is well here surprisingly.

And you?
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Been worse *shrugs*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Aw! wassup Monty?

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Still waiting to see my child. Feeling a but glum about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Sorry hun!
That's a bit shit.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:07, Reply)

She's being a bridesmaid
at a wedding on Friday. I wish I could see that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:08, Reply)

No doubt there will be photos.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Photos of her surrounded by hideous Kentish serfs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:13, Reply)

imagine them as her minions

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I imagine them burning to death.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Not at work today
I never had a break anyway. Sat on my sofa under a duvet in my dinosaur jimmers. POA and AA are eating pizza. We are berating AA's shite music taste.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Hold on now.
He has some shit musical taste but some of it's excellent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I will never forgive him for the things he said last night.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Did he say
'Dinosaur 'jimmers' are
a) called pyjamas and
b) the sort of thing a disabled child would wear, or an adult with severe learning disabilities
?

If he did, I stand by everything he said.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:10, Reply)

No.
Because they're not. They're brilliant. He said that The Clash and Happy Mondays were shite, then said he'd only heard two songs by each of them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Both of those bands are terrible.
And I have endured way more than two songs of each.

The remix of 'Wrote for Luck' is the only half-decent tune The Happy Mondays did. The Clash's single good tune is 'White Riot'.

I HAVE SPOKEN.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:16, Reply)

*heeds words*

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

If you have listened to a lot and don't like them
Fair enough. AA hasn't though, so his opinions are ill-informed.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Just goes to show
his natural instincts can be trusted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Evidence shows they can't.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Happy Mondays are a load of bollocks, definitely.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

The Clash are wank.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Yes, they certainly are.
You know it, I know it. All right-thinking people know it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Did he call you Geoff mid-coitus?
I hate it when that happens
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Morning Darth
Yes :(
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Morning Bella
Miss me?

No, thought not. A more rational question, perhaps. Good Christmas?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:18, Reply)

It was great
I stopped being all 'bah humbug' and got shitfaced with my family. It was really good. Yours?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:19, Reply)

That is excellent news
Mine was nice but tiring - three sets of parents in four days, lots of driving and occasionaly bits of sniping about how little time we're spending in each place. Other than the above it was great, lots of alcohol consumed. Haven't had meat since Boxing Day though. Fucking hippies
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:23, Reply)

We're all hippies round mine
It was great though, I was in an insanely good mood all day. Yesterday was good too, seeing The Disappointed, POA and Woodside. They all came to my pub. AA can fuck off though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Fuck you, even if you do serve delicious pints.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I know I do
I am SuperBarmaid. You are ShitMusicBoy.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:28, Reply)

You type like a Spacker

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Get out of my house.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Get into my car.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Can I just point out that you two are indulging in online abuse-flirting IN THE SAME HOUSE
when you could be having actual real-life sex. Even by the standards proudly maintained by this noble establishment, that's a bit sad.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Yeah but we have hangovers
POA just made tea. And I think he might start wanking.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Does one always follow the other up your way?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:41, Reply)

AA stole my phone
I have just been b3aped. He will die.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Way to impress a hot girl, AA

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:45, Reply)

It amused me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Not me. You git.
I'm going to take you to a load of scary pubs now.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:48, Reply)

He's trying to unleash a pandertron
It won't work on his phone though. Ha.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:55, Reply)

No, fuck you!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I'm not talking to you
again.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I've never actually had a Pandatron levelled at me
Which is astonishing, really
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:57, Reply)

It's because we can all see right through
your obvious attempts at faking heterosexuality.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:09, Reply)

This is true

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:13, Reply)

No, that's not happened in a while

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Three hours isn't a while.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Twenty years, that's a while
/obligatory football joke
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I was asleep 3 hours ago o.O

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I know you were.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Hey you two
cut it out it's fucking sickening you look like dicks.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Should I ever again manage to persuade a lady to engage in consensual sex
I too shall blather all over the internet like a fucking mong.

That's my promise to you, Chompy.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Let this be a warning to you
www.b3ta.com/talk/5532580
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:17, Reply)

That had crossed my mind

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Darth desperatly trying to get invited to a threesome
makes it even worse.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:20, Reply)

A fresh b3tan low
Someone needs to start a new list for OT
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

OT is its own list
weirdly i was thinking about you last night though as i had dinner on store street. it seems the "college arms" (or "university tavern" as it used to be known) has finally bitten the bullet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

:'(( That was alright a sad loss to the denizens of Store Street

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

So AA gets to be Lucky Pierre?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You utter helmet.
Actually, HI! *waves* I'm in a surprisingly good mood today, not that I've got much to be unhappy about but things just seem to be going well. How was your Christmas mate? Did little'n like her present?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Hello sir.
Xmas was OK down at the lezzers, I slept for most of it. Lusty met my mums yesterday, that seemed to go OK - then I took her on a guided tour of Winchester.

Haven't seen my kid yet - tomorrow hopefully.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:04, Reply)

Fingers crossed!
I can't actually believe AA's got his pork on.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Bless his heart.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Morning all, belated yuletide greetings
Hope everyone had a decent festive period. Am now back at work but have a succession of three-day weeks punctuated by trips to Blackpool and Stratford in the offing so not too bad.

Sorry to hear you haven't seen the little'un yet Monty. Hope you get chance to make up for it ASAP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Thank you, young man.
All being well tomorrow's the day. I have an obscene pile of gifts for her from the good side of the family. Nice, middle-class presents.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I have the most bizarre mental image right now
For the sake of my sanity I'm going to go back to my initial thought that you've got her a pony
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

It's a castle from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:19, Reply)

The Wewelsburg?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Woo Tuggers!
How are you?
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Hungover.
Bloody Courvoisier.
How are my my sweet princess?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:27, Reply)

You been hanging with the hiphop crowd again?
*blushes*

I'm in a surprisingly good mood.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Glad to hear that.
Yes - I was rolling with my G's and smoking chronic with the Hos.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Yes, with a little model Himmler
with working 'salute' arm function.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

You have to teach them young, eh?
My daughter is rounding up her Polly-Pockets, putting them on my son's toy train and then off to the Belling for a final solution.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Hahahah first lol of the day

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Greyskull or Crystal?
I'm assuming that you'll understand these ridiculously aged toy references
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Tuggers has it right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:22, Reply)

He always does
*looks wistfully into middle distance*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Lots of handmade wooden toys and books.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I haven't had any time off (not even the last 2 days)
my choice as it beats having to see family.

I have an awful hangover, feel like shit, look like shit, smell like...well I smell ok as the cat woke me up early and I showered.

Hope you see Len soon. I also hope that I don't puke on my desk.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:17, Reply)

This is the trouble with desk bound jobs.
Too easy to get pissed on a school night and manage to get through the next day at work.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I dunno, I have had some manual jobs and you can work through the hangover
whereas I have to sit here and stew in my own crapulance. I hope nobody calls today.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Not the hangovers I get.
At one job I had a chair with arms which I would hold onto all day for fear of falling off.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:23, Reply)

And where does one get a chair like that?
I may just adopt the slumped foreward, head resting on pile of files posture
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Thanks, old chap.
Coffee and online japery will sort you out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:28, Reply)

You read my drink-addled mind
time for a black coffee.

There was a time when I was pretty much hungover every morning, how did I do it? I am out of practice at feeling shit.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I'm a fucking expert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Hello all.
Just popped into work for an hour and then back off 'til the 4th. Managed to avoid murder whilst spending xmas with the in-laws; I smiled and nodded in the right places, grinned at their ignorant comments and didn't scream at the atrocious port.
Thank god santa brought a bottle cocodamol.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I had two cocodomol for a headache and took the dogs for a walk Christmas day.
How I got home without falling asleep in the field is a miracle.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:26, Reply)

Mental when mixed with drink, those fuckers, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I had planned on stealing the rest of my mum's stash.
But forgot : (
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Morning sir
Excellent description of a typical Christmas, there. Men across the country are nodding in familiarity.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Hello there old boy.
I really do hate the ghastly oiks.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Burn them.
Burn them all. And yes I know that's my answer to everything
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Off to town.
Catch you later.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Yep, I'm at work I don't like it,
turning up to the office to see an ambulance already there isn't the best way to encourage you to work.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Oh dear. Someone burst from overeating?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:56, Reply)

No idea, I didn't ask I just looked at it confused for a second
and expected someone to give me an explanation.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Maybe it's for you *creepy music*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Nope it's gone now
hopefully they died so it doesn't affect the sickness statistics.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Fear not b3ta, I am back.
At work.
Happy times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:58, Reply)

WOO HOO!!!1111!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Fuck yeah.
I am bleeding enthusiasm from every pore.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

i am
and hating it, jamaica was much better than this. also haven't really opened any presents yet because both sisters-in-law are in bed with 'flu. other problems:

(i) i somehow managed to text my entire contacts list (300+ people, inc a lot of colleagues and clients) instead of the selected few with a rather effusive "happy christmas" message at 3am uk time after one too many cocktails. at about £1 per text message, i am dreading my phonebill this month.

(ii) my dad's christmas present to me this year was a house. a holiday cottage in cornwall, to be precise. which is obviously the most amazing thing, but i was really ungrateful because it (choice, developer, furnishings) has a lot to do with this woman he has been seeing for ages whom i literally can't stand, and... urgh, i don't think i handled it very well!

hope you all had lots of fun, any exciting news from anyone??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 9:59, Reply)

That's rather a nice present.
I hope you can overcome the unpleasant associations and learn to appreciate it.

If not, I'll have it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:02, Reply)

it is, a bit overwhelming really, but i do think it's great
and it'll be let out for most of the year anyway, so a nice bit of extra income. it's just the fact that She helped him choose it and everything in it, not my mum... and She is so utterly vile! also the main reason for buying it was for inheritance tax reasons, which then makes me think of something happening to my dad as well, which in turn makes me go cold and sick.

gah, you'd think i'd just say "brilliant, see you on the beach," like my brothers did, wouldn't you?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I understand your reasons for not being as pleased as you'd hope you'd be.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

the real reason is that he wants to sell the family home this year
and buy something smaller. which i suspect and am terrified will be with her. she makes the flesh crawl off my bones, she really does! i've known her since i was 7 as she is the mother of one of my best mates, so this isn't a childish "it's not my mummy" thing, it's a genuine "i can't stand the useless gold-digging whore" thing.

oh well. on a much more cheerful note, i am finally going to organise a bash, i was thinking maybe the last sat in june so that we could all go somewhere with a nice roof terrace/beer garden, what do you think??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Get to it, dear heart.
I would appreciate it not being in Kensington/Chelsea/Fulham as my mustard cords, rugger shirt with upturned collar and ghastly personality are all in the wash at the moment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

This.
Also please bear in mind that if you actually want people to go, I'd recommend somewhere that charges under £4 for a pint.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

one of my clients is a chain of pubs
if they have anywhere suitable/available i might be able to squeeze a deal out of them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

ha, well it depends how many people can come
if it's 20 or less, we can just do it at mine, which although it is kensington, mustard cords are optional - just thought it would be cheaper for everyone (except me, but that doesn't matter!). if there's more than 20 we'd be a bit cramped, in which case i was thinking maybe of a pub in inner temple, which then has the whole of the inner temple gardens outside it, it's gorgeous?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Both sound excellent to me.
If it's at yours people will bring their own drinks, you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

oh i am sure
but i'd still be providing many drinks and food, that's what good hostesses do!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

All these peasants require
is a fridge and some cheesy wotsits.

Spend your budget on XO cognac for me. I really will appreciate it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

well, plan b
is a pub bash and then an after-party back at mine for those who can handle carrying on. wotsits and cognac optional.

this might work better?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I am quivering with anticipation*.


*or delerium tremens. I'm unsure.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Probably the latter Monty.
I had what I think was the best part of two bottles of red wine last night and didn't feel even slightly pissed. I think I'm becoming immune.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I smoked nothing
and took no drugs, hard nor soft, for five days. Drink aside, I am thoroughly detoxed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Is this a record?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

It might well be.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

del-i-rium tremens - has it affected your typing?!
i expect spelling errors from some of the clowns in this circus, but never from you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I am ashamed.
*gets in car, doors fall off*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I think you should leave the room and think about what you've done for a minute.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'll be in the Malt & Hops.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

If you put it on the calendar
You'll probably get more than 20 sign up. I think there were at least 35 at my last one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

i always forget the calendar exists
good idea!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

The downside of the calendar
is that any old Tom, Dick or Monty will sign up, though...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

monty better had sign up or i won't be responsible for my actions
have just been texting the awesome rakky, she is going to confirm whether she can do my proposed date of sat 25 june, and if so, unless any of you lot already know that this date doesn't suit, i will put it in the calendar.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

As far as I am aware
this date won't clash with anything for us.

Where is Rakky these days?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

bristol and working her little socks off
she is on great form, as always.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Brizzle seems to be a mini mecca for b3tans.
And it would be awesome to see her again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Well, he thinks he's going to live at least another 7 years
so I wouldn't upset yourself too much

"DO YOU need piss poor counselling advice from somebody trained in another profession? Call 0800-ACCOUNTANT today!"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

this DID cheer me up, a LOT.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I'm a little ray of sunshine me
a little, red eyed puky feeling like shit, ray of sunshine
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

you still look beautiful to me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Awwww thanks
the back of my eyes ache. That's really fucked up.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

did you have that feeling
when you opened your eyes when you thought "actually i feel ok" - only to try and sit up to have the fact that this is horseshit rammed down your throat?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I'm sory 4 ur looss

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I am more than happy to swap it for the herb chopper my brother got me
No? How about *rummages through presents* a potato ricer? A Kick-Ass T-shirt? A thermos flask? A pair of toe-socks?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:04, Reply)

...and a BLANKETY-BLANK CHEQUE BOOK AND PEN!
"Super match game, super match game, SUPER-MATCH-GAME!"


i need help
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:06, Reply)

bit of a late one last night, was it?
i went to the gym for 2 hours and then drove when i went out, so i can afford to feel all smug!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Tuesday is my snooker night
and my older brother was there. He always leads me astray when it comes to drink.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:13, Reply)

oh dear
but did you win?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Nah
I'm crap at snooker. I've only been playing it on a weekly basis for 10 years. I'll probably improve at some point.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

i would love to be one of those girls who is cool at pool
but i suck like you wouldn't believe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Excellent news
*unzips*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

haha
but you wouldn't be so profligate with it if you'd seen how i handle a pool cue
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Try turning it round and using the fat end, etc.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

i am now picturing you with a priapic pyramid

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

It's geodesic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

At work until lunchtime Friday
Had a literally shitty Christmas thanks to food poisoning on the 23rd. Seem to be back to normal, finally.

There's some kind of network problem meaning we have no access to our documentation or code or indeed anything except our email. And nobody who can fix it is back in until the 4th, so either someone gets called in or we can't do anything. Decisions, decisions!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Go home, old bean.
Tell them I said it was OK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:03, Reply)

That seems reasonable
I did miss out on some serious laying about over the break, I could catch up on that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Off you go. It's fine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Nope. Skiving off for as long as I feel I can get away with it.
I suspect the department is shut today anyway, but I won't check for fear of being wrong.

I am quite well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Glad to hear it, you hideous bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Oh believe me, I've been bending and bumdering all over the shop these past few days.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Funnily enough, I do believe you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Fair enough. No one going to say 'POIDH,' then?
*puts camera away dejectedly*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:20, Reply)

You filthy poove.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Morning all. *waves*
I'm not at work but that's only because the organisation shuts down completely between Christmas and New Year. I go back next Tuesday.

This pleases me greatly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Alright, gayboy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Alreet, you not quite as old as me but may as well be cunt?
I am magnificent, cheers. I have a New Year of b3tan shenaningary to look forward and a day trip to Edinburgh on the 2nd. What's not to like?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Good shizzle.
My New Year shall be spent in the company of my brother, some rare beef, some exquisite alcohol and some of the most off-colour conversation imaginable. I cannot wait.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Sounds like my New Year
Minus your brother and the rare beef on account of the reformed vegetarian among us only eating poultry at the moment. So it shall be a Greek fondue to start, shrimp saganaki and some other dish for New Year's eve.

Actually I must check if Beeker's lass has any dietary requirements first...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Non-alcoholic beer only for her.
It's all she's used to.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Oh, you are a devil.
I would get some in as a joke but that would be a frightful waste of my hard earned cash.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Jokes that cost money = not that funny

I appear to be channelling Roger McfuckingGough here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I've just been woken up by my aunt's cunt of a dog.
Morning you bunch of queers. And what is this work you speak of.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You will find out one day.
Or possibly not given our beloved Government's single minded aim to destroy this country for anyone but the rich.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Does tending the prison garden (or helping out in the laundry)
whilst banged up for theft count as work?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I believe it does, yes.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I hope so.
I'll be able to put it down as a previous place of employment on my CV.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Hahahah
'I was working for the Queen in a special capacity and I'm not allowed to talk about it'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)