Where's her God damned sock!?
I was driven half insane by the pizza, and now this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:49, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Don't worry too much.
I'm sure someone got her a new pair for Christmas.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Hahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

What kind of madness-inducing pizza is this?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Did you pay domino's prices for it?
That would drive me mad too
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Someone I work with thinks that those prices are fair
Fucking idiots.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I mean the girl
and the lost pizza, now a sock.
I mean someone's eaten the pizza, and I thought maybe she had, but they'd have found it, in her belly. So maybe not.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Maybe someone ate the sock too?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

To be fair, she is probably better off dead.
She sounds like she was really forgetful, 'ooh, I've lost a pizza' and now, 'doh! I've lost a sock'.

What other disasters could have been around the corner?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Locked out on New Years Eve

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Well it's looking like it wasn't Benny Hill the Merciless anyway

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Are you having a nervous breakdown?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I don't think it will get that far
but everytime I look at that Tesco pizza in my freezer, there it is again.
This is a bizarre case. Why are they telling us so much? IS this a bizarre case, or is it just the most Twitterish that the police have ever been?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Police are embracing 'new media' like Twitter and Facebook
As a way of seeming more public-inclusive as well as using it as a way to get possible info/witness accounts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Yeah but if they're not doing this to lay a trap then they could be ballsing up or tipping off the murdererrr

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Unless the murderer is Icy McStone Cold Killer
Then the Police constantly letting the public know how fast the investigation is going will likely cause the moiderer (he's from Prohibition Chicago) to make a mistake.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Missing sock? Case closed, officer.
It was a house elf what done it.

Also, the Sun headline this morning was something about it being a trophy killer. Pizza is not a trophy. I expect it's hungry work, murdering.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:59, Reply)

You'd take something better than a ski-sock
And besides, why not take the pizza?
I don't know what's right anymore.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

If it was a PROPER trophy killer, he'd have taken her skin.
Or at least a tit or something.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Or at least the other bottle of cider that was there.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Has anyone checked the unpaired socks drawer?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Are you suggesting she might have more than one drawer for socks?
If so she had it coming.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Perhaps
or maybe she had some oddments drawers- socks without a pair, tesco pizzas, name of the killer scrawled on a piece of paper, some handy screws and a birthday card without an envelope
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

don't
i have 2 drawers full of socks. none of them are paired up. life is too short to pair socks.

the reason i have 2 drawers full, mind, is because whenever they need to match, eg at the gym, i have to buy more on my way home.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

If all your socks are the same there is never any need to pair them.
Protip.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:07, Reply)

my brother does this
all his socks are identical and black.

mine are mostly black but lots of different colours and..... it makes my head hurt just thinking about it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I do it too
I have two drawers full of identical black socks.
( Peej, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 14:35, Reply)

2 drawers full of socks?
Do you keep the socks for your left foot in one and the right foot in the other?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

What if someone sees your socks and they're odd.
Or what if your feet KNOW and can just TELL and you feel all wonky all day.
Oh god no. I couldn't. *twitches*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:16, Reply)

i'm not going to lie to you
it does panic me a little bit. but usually i am wearing them inside fuck-me boots, so only superman would be able to tell.

and frankly, there aren't many men like that around here, i can tell you. in fact, my new flatmate (from new york) announced last night that there were "zero good-looking men in england". she's an observant girl.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

and the sweeping-generalisations-made-by-women-ometer creeps up yet another notch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

It doesn't matter. She's Meerkan so she's just automatically wrong anyway.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

good point

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

When I was in Riga
I was chatting to a Latvian girl who said that British men were pretty attractive, whereas the women were all hideous. She was comparing them to Latvian men, to be fair, so whether it was just that or it was her attempt at chatting me up or she actually thought it, I don't know.

This was a fascinating story.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I wear them inside those as well
But you just never know when you might take them off.
And besides - your feet KNOW.

And Britain's full of fitties, both male and female. They often have bad teeth though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

The bad teeth thing is an urban myth
Britain has a far lower rate of tooth decay and fillings than 'Merica.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

they all just pay to have them straightened and whitened
or replaced by fake ones

because they are all so vain they think this song is about them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

You're correct, when they say "bad"
they usually mean wonky and slightly yellowed. They can be easily shut up with "our dental car is mostly free, I have no fillings and all my original teeth, we just don't straighten and bleach them because looking like Donnie Osmond makes you gay".

Or something snappier.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I bet they do

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Do you seriously care about this?
I don't care how people get so caught up in murdery gossip. When I killed that girl there wasn't any mention of it anywhere
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

you come equipped with somewhere to hide the body though
and don't have to worry about the stench
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

I wouldn't have given a shit if they hadn't gone on about the pizza and then the suspect looked like Tony Hart and Benny Hill and Ming the Merciless and then HEADLINE NEWS is "SHE HAD A SOCK MISSING"
I just have no idea what's going on any more
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

It's playing up to the retard population again.
perhaps they are using it as a way to get idiots to learn words.

"pizza"

"sock"

"murder with sexual elements"

"body left on a country road"

"I don't care if he did it, her landlord looks like a paedophile"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

He really does look like a paedophile though

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

If they needed a photo
for "Beginner's classic Paedo 101" course, it would be him.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

what did happen to the pizza?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:07, Reply)

-Twilight Zone music-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:09, Reply)

They still don't know

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Either way, it'll be past it's best before date by now.
So I hope it has been eaten otherwise it'll be a terrible waste.

And there are people starving to death in the 3rd world.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

What pizza? What pizza are you talking about? there is no pizza. There _was_ a pizza, in 1805, but it died in a horrible fire.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

God damn it you're making me hungry
and my lunch is very unappetising. Might waddle off to the M&S Simply Food. Delicious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

What have you got for lunch today? (at the moment)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Faux chicken in pitta
Supermarket had no salad left when I was buying it last night, and I don't like mayo or anything. So it's just chicken. In pitta.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

You need to liven that up with a bit of sweet chilli sauce.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Not a big fan.
Am a fan of chipotle though. Damn, I had chipotle ketchup, could have used that. WELL TOO LATE NOW
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

no M&S!
don't give into the lure :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

450 cals in the sandwich
that's lunch, there. It's not bad at all.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

put your ipod on
go for a one hour walk. that's most of it burned off again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I'm supposed to be working
/ac

Have pissed around for an hour and a half. Have an ebook that I can't work out if it's relevant. FUCK THE DUTCH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Yumz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

It's a fucking odd thing to publicise.
Unless she was missing a sock but had her shoes on.

It's a foot wanking fetishist.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Exactly. So her sock fell off.
So what? And if you suddenly realise the bird you've murdered's sock's fallen off, you don't put it back on her do you? You dispose. Or bake it in a calzone style with a Tesco pizza
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I reckon Tesco did it to cover up the fact they'd sold her an out of date pizza.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Don't worry madam
I can assure you that the finest detectives the Avon & Somerset Constabulary has are on the case.

So that's DCI Carrot-Cruncher and Sergeant Goat-Worrier. As soon as they find that sock they'll get on with catching the murderer.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I believe they're drafting in the services of Brother Cadfael to assist with this mystery

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

He tried to give up the sleuthing
but he couldn't kick the habit
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

it gets worse
they tried to cowl into giving up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

but the police are still nun the wiser

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:24, Reply)

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:23, Reply)

you love it you slag

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

and i thought i was the only person you said that to

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

If i'm ever that crass to a lay-dee I shall give myself a severe dressing-down
manners make a man
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Cadfael's being tailed by the police for speeding, doing over 100mph.
One cop said to the other, disbelievingly, "Him, doing a ton? Sure?"
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

They need to get DCI Harry Batt on the case.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Oh my god yes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

He'd have the case sewn up in nae time at all.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

nae body mooove

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:26, Reply)

NAE BODY MOVE!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:18, Reply)

He is one of the greatest TV cops of all time.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:20, Reply)

...a big bushy beard

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

What makes you think it's muuuuur-duuur?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

We'll be up to our balls in jugglers.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:21, Reply)

I didn't realise quite how inane
murder investigations were. It's an eye-opener, that's for sure.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I've figured out the motive
guy was desperate for a wank, didn't have a sock to do it into. Asked the girl for a lend of her sock. She said no, he killed her, wanked into her sock then ate her pizza.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

^This.
it's the ultimate dangerwank.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:25, Reply)

the only problem with the theory is that I don't understand why anyone would wank into a sock

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Especially with a still-warm corpse lying just there

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:28, Reply)

There really are some sick fuckers out there.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Yeah.
I mean, most men would have taken a clean sock from the drawer for their wank, not take a used one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I know
HAS HE NO SHAME?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

it's nauseating really

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

You've uncovered the REAL crime here, right enough.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

It was a vile sock

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I knew the landlord didn't do it
because I saw the film of him being led away and he looked a bit irritated at being arrested. Poeple who're guilty either look scared/nervous, or absolutely cock-sure of themselves.

They don't look like a person who's been interrupted by carol singers during the Christmas Eastenders special.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

This is genius
You should be one of those Cracker types
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

You could also tell because the papers
had so little to write about him they kept mentioning his hair.

"yeah, it's a bit weird innit, not the hair of a sane person that, that's not normal hair"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

In all fairness...
...he did have quite strange hair.

Q) What do you call a landlord with strange hair?
A) GUILTY!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:51, Reply)

That's the media for you
Paranoia sells, so they play on peoples' natural tendency to make judgments based on looks.

The real giveaway for me though, was that he didn't look like a man who enjoys a good pizza AT ALL.
( Kroney, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I would imagine there are a few people murdered in Britain each week.
Why all the big furore about her?
( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Because she's young, white, middle-class, reasonably pretty...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I figured as much.

( girlinthehole, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:57, Reply)

because they don't know what happened to the pizza!
just think how big the fuss would have been if Maddie had gone missing with a bowl of carbonara!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:56, Reply)

One sock stolen.
Am I the only person thinking Heather Mills??
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 22:23, Reply)