Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well hello there! You look smashing today, I really like that colour on you, it brings out your features.What are your features? If you asked a friend to describe you to someone else, what do you think they'd say?
BEARD
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:38,
181 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
In a *waggles eyebrows* way?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:47,
Reply)
Brick shithouses are revered in some cultures.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:49,
Reply)
How are you on this fine/shit morning?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
With my sister but I can't remember where she lives.But I do know it's out of the way a bit where mainly the Spanish live. I think it's around Adeje.
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girlinthehole, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:31,
Reply)
Aye, I've taken your adviceWould have done it quicker, but my boss is determined to pester me today, what a cunt.
I'd say my main features are my eyes, quiet a 'deep' (someone else said this) brown.
My friends would nearly all say 'Fat, but he's losing weight!' What a bunch of (accurate) cunts.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:51,
Reply)
Cheers chap, I'd have done the same.I'd have had "porky" a year ago, but probably "a bit of a gut" now.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:54,
Reply)
Must admit, I was quite happy with the number of compliments I received while walking round topless on NYEI was just weighting to get my shirt back btw, wasn't just topless for the fun of it.
I have lost a fuckload of weight, but I'm not sure how much I weigh now.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:56,
Reply)
What's your secret?I bet it was living at home, wasn't it? Less inclination to get pissed or pig out when you're mum's watching.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
Nah, although living at home triggered itMy main problem was snacking, although it's now gone a bit far in the other direction. If I feel hungry, and it's not a mealtime, I either eat some fruit, or nothing at all.
Also, cutting down meal sizes helped. Unfortunately, that gives me severe 'Eyes Bigger Than Belly' Syndrome when ordering drunken takeaways. I ordered a variety box on Christmas Eve (3 chicken pieces, doner meat, onion rings and chips) and ate about 3 mouthfuls before getting into the taxi for the 5 minute trip home. When I got home, I wasn't hungry. Fucking waste of £6.50!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:07,
Reply)
Well, having just eaten a pot of dry bran flakes, I can tell you I'm officially now craving fried chicken.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:09,
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I've had that craving for weeksSadly, the 3 mouthfuls I had didn't contain chicken, so it's still pestering me!
Place near me sells buckets of Chicken (not KFC) for about £7, it's tempted me more than once.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
Make it fresh, it's even cheaper :)(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
I don't have anything I can make fried chicken in currently, that I trust myself with.EDIT: Sorry, should actually write what I meant.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:17,
Reply)
You don't have a frying pan?(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:21,
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Even a saucepan will do(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
Sorry, that edit should make a little more sense. I'm the clumsiest bastard in the world.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:25,
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Literally not a clueProbably cunt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:55,
Reply)
probably "beard"few years ago would have been "fat"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:55,
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*beard-fives*(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:56,
Reply)
Careful!Could be like some kind of velcro situation
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:57,
Reply)
That's alright, we've both got the hooks, not the loops.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:58,
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good natureeyes
tall
thighs
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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:59,
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you might think thiseveryone likes to think that people notice their eyes, but the truth is, unless they are freakish, no one gives a shit about your eyes.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:01,
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RubbishEveryone says I have lovely eyes, they are big and green
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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:04,
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Mine are officially greenbut more of a yellowy piss colour
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:05,
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they're lyingthey think you are a cunt
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:05,
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I KNEW IT
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Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:07,
Reply)
is that some kind of vertical fish?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:08,
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It's meant to be the 'forever alone' memeSadly, it's not funny.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:09,
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not familiar with that one(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
thanks for the effortbut that hasn't left me much clearer as to what it is!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:20,
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Basically, a 4 cell comic, in which the last frame is that face saying 'Forever Alone'You're not missing much.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:34,
Reply)
Spiny crestThorny carapace
Mouth resembling female genitalia with a hooked beak
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:03,
Reply)
My male friends, to a man, would say "GAY"Some of them, if pressed, might mumble something about me generally being well-dressed and having good posture. They would follow this up with "cos he's GAY!"
My female friends, of which I have more thank fuck, would probably say something complimentary about my smile or just call me an outrageous flirt
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:17, Reply)
female friends = fag hags ;-)(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
The motivations behind my female friends' decision to continue my acquaintance do not bother meThe size of their breasts do
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I'm not sure if any hetrosexual male would refer to another as having good posture.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:23,
Reply)
Yeah that might be optimisticI can think of a couple who would, but they're both dancers too so tend to look for this sort of thing
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:26, Reply)
too obvious?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:33,
Reply)
*theatrical sigh*You at least get points for knowing it was too obvious
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:35, Reply)
I had to read that 3 or 4 times before realising it didn't say 'dane'(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:45,
Reply)
Me toobut I didn't admit it. First. Your lot have got a press conference coming up shortly, haven't they?
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I fucking hope soIf last nights result means he's going, it'll be worth it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
Thought you'd be pleasedWho do you want instead? A mate of mine's keen on Kenny Dalglish
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:27, Reply)
I'd like Kenny to step in til the end of the season, but I'm not sure if I'd want him permanantly.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:35,
Reply)
I'm not sure even he could get results out of what he's got to work with right nowand he's hardly likely to be able to emulate his former success. If I were him I'd stay well away
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:43, Reply)
The team needs confidence, I think that's one of the main thingsThe other main things are to drop Poulsen and Konchesky, and bring in a new left back.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:12,
Reply)
I agreeQuality from TheColonel
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:45,
Reply)
They'd say I'm charming and witty if they know what's good for them.(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Well I don't know what's good for me so I'd have to say the rapey eyes.(
girlinthehole, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:28,
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So rapey o_O(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:29,
Reply)
hathat's only gadgets. i very rarely wear any pink!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:41,
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ha you know me so wellomg omg my lunchtime meeting has been cancelled. the minestrone and pesto soup is MINE. ALL MINE.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:10,
Reply)
now that is an incentive(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:27,
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oh no, i can totally carry it offas can you, i'm sure!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:09,
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Hot pink I can carry offSoft pink, not so much. Not with my skin tone. I'm sure you can make anything look good, my dear
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:12, Reply)
You forget I've seen your FB pics now. ALL OF THEM*so I know that this is absolute bollocks
*not really, haven't got around to it yet, ran out of Kleenex
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:21, Reply)
hathey are quite old by now. as soon as i have smeared more vaseline over the camera lens, i'll put up some more.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
that was the joke doofus(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:57,
Reply)
you would say that now(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:00,
Reply)
it's why I just wrote 'huge penis' anyway have you turned into Labs or something 'oooo bobby is doing the internet wrong, Al Al Al come look'
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
Have you turned into Gonz?Where's your punctuation gone?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:20,
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I'm in bed and I'm tired and can't be arsed today.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:24,
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Bobby, mate, you're slippingYou're in bed with the internet... what are you doing talking to us? That's what porn's for!
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)
too tired to wank(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:35,
Reply)
Hand back your man pointsA team of specialists will be along shortly to repossess your penis
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:47, Reply)
When have I been like that? When you deleted a post someone had replied to?And I hate al.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:23,
Reply)
a little touchy this morning?I was going about my business in the normal way, mild insults, suggesting Darth is gay, suggesting that you were back pedaling and you accuse me of something I don't quite understand.
Why would I try and encourage Al to come here? I can't bear the thought of him.
I can think of worse people to turn into than Lab as well. Have you seen his tattoo?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
*pops cheque in the post*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
*pops dick in your mother*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
*pops cap in yo' ass*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:35,
Reply)
*pops straw boater in your mother's arse*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:37,
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I cannot beat this(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:37,
Reply)
I beat your motherthen she beat me off
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:38,
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I throw down a beat on yo' mommaShe harmonises on my dick.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:39,
Reply)
*something about the rhythm method*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:49,
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Fight! Fight! Fight!This is absolutely not accompanied by girly hand-clapping. More blokey air-punching
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29, Reply)
pipe down Susan, men are talking.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
no, I do like tattoos though. I think I'd rather be Gonz.Ample opp to annoy tgb
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
Only have to be alive to annoy TGB(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:31,
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Do you want to make TGB your girlfriend?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
no way she scares me.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:36,
Reply)
In a sexy way?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
In a 'no not my drums!!' way(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:42,
Reply)
Does nobody like Al any more?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
since when did anyone like Al?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
I like him more now than when I first rocked upbut that's like saying my shit smells sweeter this morning than it did the morning after an anchovy vindaloo
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)
I'd have to go with BEARD as wellalthough the fact that it's rapidly greying is pissing me off. I'm currently trying to decide between
1. Shaving it off and spending some time clean-shaven, or
2. colouring it in.
The latter seems a bit vain, though.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
easy for you to sayGet back to me when you can grow facial hair.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:21,
Reply)
I'd say let it grey tooand I am the beard authority
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
Haha, Josh Blue is ace."If I ever get mugged, I have my secret weapon. It's called the Palsy Punch. They don't know where it's coming from, and neither do I!"
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
Yeah, I saw Vip's FB pics from New Yearand it reminded me of his doppelganger.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
loads of people know or have seen people who look like meit's kind of weird
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
that is surprisingly like my beardalthough mine is a bit longer
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
I'm more dashingand chubbier
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:37,
Reply)
people only say that when they can see the potentialbut can't actually come up with anything good.
me either
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
Mohawk, tattoos, piercings, awesome(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:22,
Reply)
Nice eyesand the kind of hair that eats combs.
Actually no, knowing most of my friends they'd probably look a bit furtive and then tell you what a terrible bitch I am.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:29, Reply)
I have on several occasionsgotten a comb so stuck in my hair that I've had to chop it out and/or break the comb. Usually when I've been swimming in the sea.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:32, Reply)
You're not supposed to comb while swimming, surely?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
Ahh, so that's why I've never managed to stand up on a surfboard...(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)
They're made of glassSomething was lost in translation...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:56,
Reply)
Red hair, short, glasses, piercings.Then they'd probably say something about the rantiness and the sweariness. Not today though, I'm so happy!
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 10:53, Reply)
A more polite person would wait to be asked why they're so happyI'm not that polite though. You know that article I wrote yesterday? My favourite blogger saw it and plugged it to his followers on Twitter. Exciting enough, but then I sent him a message to say thanks and he replied saying he was going to plug me on his blog soon. Which is both deliriously exciting and terrifying. I also just got a phone call from a friend of mine who works in recruitment who thinks he's found a really good part time job I can do from home, which has also made me happy.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)
NoIt's great. I'll be paid to rant about why the government are bastards essentially. And I'll get a laptop.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:06, Reply)
No, it's hard to explainIt is essentially talking to people who use local services (diasbled people, etc) about problems they have encountered, and then advocating on their behalf to try and solve the problems.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Kicking arse and taking names from your sofa?Nice.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:15,
Reply)
Sofa?If I had a laptop I'd never leave my bed.
But yeah, it sounds really good. I'm waiting for my mate to bring me all the details so I can apply for it.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)
That. Is. BRILLIANTVery pleased for you on both counts. Very well done :-)
So that text I sent you actually had no effect. Gutted.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Oh oh oh oh ANDTwo other bloggers I really like are following me on Twitter now.
I'm feeling extreme pressure to be interesting at all times now :/
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:15, Reply)
So much you used the 'word' "twanxiety"...(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:18,
Reply)
Fucking hellI'd just found out that the guy who writes 'No Sleep Til Brooklands' was following me. I think I can be forgiven for making up daft Twitter words.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)
No, you can't.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:21,
Reply)
It made me roll my eyes so much I think I dislodged a cornea(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
it was in my twitter feed.Don't know why I bother with twitter really.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:28,
Reply)
So you can stalk meAnd roll your eyes when I make up words? I use it to follow bloggers and get news as it happens, and to shamelessly plug twaddle I write (which seems to work quite effectively). I like it, I'm a total convert to it. I'd rather be on Twitter than Facebook now, and that really is saying something.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)
It's saying "I'd rather have cancer of the face than cancer of the colon."(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)
I couldn't have put it better myself.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:38,
Reply)
Yes, but you're both on facebookif you hate it that much, why do you bother?
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Because many of my friends are idiots and will not communicate any other way.(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)
To be fair,this is also the only reason why I am on facebook. But I wouldn't say I particularly feel any hatred for it.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)
That is because you have a soul instead of a seething ball of rage and hatred.(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)
For pervin', innit(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:43,
Reply)
Because I don't hate it.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:00,
Reply)
Pfft.There's a new site which is a bit like Twitter, but threaded. I might have a look at that later.
I am far too obsessed with social networking sites for my own good.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)
*flicks hair*Surely you can guess, sweetheart?
Actually, they'd probably yell "MASSIVE FLAPPY TEAPOT," but I'm just going to live the dream for a little while.
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Hey, I haven't said that for at least a fortnight.I'm saving it purely for special occasions now.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:00,
Reply)
Awww, you really know how to make me feel loved, don't you Noel?*minces*
(, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:01, Reply)
I'm all heart.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:03,
Reply)
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