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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm too lazy to stalk anyone
but if you could, or wanted to (all the usual riders, against the law, crazy, blah, blah, blah) who would you stalk?

I'd probably check out exes first - out of curiosity. Then I'd move onto the actor Mark Ruffalo (he's up for an Oscar as best supporting actor) because he's hawt and then I'd move onto Bruce Forsythe because I hate him.

Who, why and how would you go about it?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:13, 130 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I'm not sure it'd be anyone famous
that would be too obvious and you'd have competition. I do like the extra opportunities the internet offers us for stalking
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Yes, you have a very good point there
It's quite easy to stalk normal people.
Now I'm going to think which b3tan I could stalk. Hmmmm.....

I think it'd have to be Roota for her amazing library skilz.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)
b3tans all live too far away to stalk
I think I'd just pick someone at random
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)
Fiona Bruce
For obvious reasons.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)
Would it not be easier to keep checking the BBC website
If you're determined to stay up-to-date with the latest news?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)
My reasons have nothing to do with the news.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:27, Reply)
he likes the
"..and finally" bits about skatboarding dogs
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)
Skatboarding doesn't sound very nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:30, Reply)
Skatboarding dogs does nothing for me either.
So it has got to be very wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:32, Reply)
you aren't into the 'alternative' scene dogs?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)
The reasons do actually involve doing things to her that are very, very wrong.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)
is it
shoving a skateboarding dog up her bumhole?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)
Have you seen the advert for Moben kitchens?
There's a stone cold milf at the end who looks like a filthier version of Fiona Bruce
(TheColonel, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)
I have indeed.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)
I'd give her a bottle of wine
;)
(TheColonel, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)
If someone uses the same username everywhere on the internet, you can pull up lots of information with very little efford.
Mind you, is it stalking if they publicised the information themselves?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)
Have you seen my awesome website?
www.tgb.com.tw/

This one still needs work www.tgb.co.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)
Sorry, I'm blind.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)
Who do you stalk?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:34, Reply)
I've dug up some cringeworthy stuff on Twitter posted by a /talker who's a bit of a prat.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:36, Reply)
Oh you tease!
Do tell
(TheColonel, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:41, Reply)
He was creepily "flirting" with a female b3tan on Twitter.
Choice quote: "I like to play chopsticks with my boner. Let's face it there's nothing else to do with it these days."

Naturally, when I reposted this and similar quotes on /talk he got in a huff and deleted the thread.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:44, Reply)
that's a pretty incredible chat up line
I'd totally fall for that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:46, Reply)
Really? That's quite supprising because I like to play chops...... no, sorry, it's to ovbouse of a joke*, you know it's a chatup line now so it won't work.


* Both the origional and my rehashing.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:13, Reply)
i think it's because specifically great chat up line
since chopsticks involves playing two notes at once which are increasingly far a part. Does that me he's got a split cock?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
NAME AND SHAME!
I bet it was what's his face at baroness
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:04, Reply)
Nope.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)
MoT at all?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)
Not him.
Christ, he'd probably try to chat someone up by waffling on about sub-atomic particles. He probably doesn't even know what a boner is.

It was someone who's quite full of himself and not as funny as he thinks, and beyond that I can say nothing more.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:46, Reply)
Wormuls or DG then?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:03, Reply)
I think that was Clarke Gable's party trick
that's some old school penis japery right there.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:08, Reply)
I'd stalk Noel
purely as by following him everywhere I'd probably get a lot fitter
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:33, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:02, Reply)
Could I also add Ronni Ancona to my 'to stalk' list?
Similar reasons to La Bruce.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)
This is the sort of thread I can get behind.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:43, Reply)
can you stalk a thread?
that's pretty specialist
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:45, Reply)
What and learn crunch watch and learn.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 17:48, Reply)
for some unknown reason I've been following
this story quite obsessively.
I don't know why, but every morning and every night I search her name in google to see if anything has happened. I even check CNN website throughout the day.
If I could I would stalk Shawn Adkins, and threaten him loads until he decides to talk.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:10, Reply)
I can't see that on my phone
What is it?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:43, Reply)
Jake Gyllenhaal.
WANT.

Or, more realistically, there are a couple of people I talk to online who I would totally stalk, just because I want to know what they're like IRL.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)
add me on facebook if you're that desperate

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:45, Reply)
Oh my god
You're Jake Gyllenhaal?!
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:48, Reply)
The truth is out.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)
Damn.
I can't help but feel disappointed.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:52, Reply)
I get that a lot.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:09, Reply)
Well, before AND after...
it soon adds up, I expect.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:12, Reply)
Thanks berk I come here for the moral support
it's people like you who are ruining the internet.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:17, Reply)
I hope that some of the
boys on here are secretly incredibly hot and into fat nerds
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:55, Reply)
hahahaha
No chance.

This is Loserville. Accept it, embrace it.

Weep.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:57, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:05, Reply)
actually, I am very good looking.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:34, Reply)
Well, so do I.
I wasn't talking about b3tans though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:59, Reply)
Holla.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)
evening

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)
How are you, darling?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)
not bad, expect my throat feels like I've swallowed feathers
you?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:08, Reply)
You must be furious.
Spitting feathers some might say.

There is also a swallowing 'cock' joke in there
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:09, Reply)
where I come from 'spitting feathers' means thirsty

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Really? I always thought it as furious

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:11, Reply)
So did I..

(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:12, Reply)
Well if we're honest
my mum does often get stuff mixed up and I think that's where I got the phrase from
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:13, Reply)
You're not wrong Captain Crunch.
But neither are you 100% right.

See the link below.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Here you go Lampo.
www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/spitting-feathers.html

Crunchy is obviously OLD.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Not as old as you, old man

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:15, Reply)
Oh god yes I know!
I'm pretty ill at the moment too- god damn these bugs.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Are you wrapping up warm
and drinking lots of fluids (this is not a spunk reference BTW)
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:11, Reply)
Her throat always feels like feathers
as she spends so much time biting her pillow.

analsexLolZ
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)
I'm going to ram a pillow so far up your arse it makes YOUR throat feel like it's full of feathers.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Tickly.

(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:11, Reply)
You love me too much to even contemplate doing such a thing.
Seriously, you might be thinking this kind of thought sat at home, but the moment your eyes alight on my masculine physique you'll feel that familiar tingle between your legs and all you'll want to do is touch me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:12, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:15, Reply)
I don't know what you're sniggering about
just you wait until I walk through your front door, your knees will be all weak and you'll have to go and change your knickers.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:16, Reply)
I won't be wearing any when you arrive : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:17, Reply)
PHWOAR!!!!!!
So is your bash going to be more like an amateur orgy night?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:19, Reply)
There'll be nothing amateur about it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:22, Reply)
I'm really looking forward to this now!
You'll have to let me know where you live at some point, and I can see if anyone needs a lift.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:26, Reply)
Remember, I made the mento comment about YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:19, Reply)
I don't think I have the dedication required
to truly, scarily stalk someone. Normally I would take this as evidence of my lazy nature and feel ashamed, but in this instance I think it's a Good Thing.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Both Jeffs.
For different reasons.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:00, Reply)
Evening Blousie!
*Waves!*

I really fancy going to the chippy for my dinner. But what to have?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Hi Jeff.
Have the usual.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:14, Reply)
Battered sausage and a large chips
mushy peas on the side.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:15, Reply)
I hate it when they put the mushy peas all together with the chips.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:16, Reply)
I think curry sauce might be nice.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:18, Reply)
No Jeff, it would not.
If you have to get anything, get gravy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:20, Reply)
Chippies round out way tend to not offer gravy.
No idea why.

As a nice meat pie with chips and gravy is lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:22, Reply)
chips, sausage in batter and curry sauce
chippy order of the gods
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:20, Reply)
Needs something else to go with it.
But I don't know what. Maybe if I order a jumbo sausage with my chips, and get a small battered sausage for the walk home?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:23, Reply)
one round here has a choice of curries

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:24, Reply)
I'd stalk Mitchell from Being Human.
I was perturbed to find out that he's 7 years younger than me but that still makes him 5 years older than my husband so he's fair game.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:40, Reply)
Catface isn't really 12 years younger than you is he?
I thought it was about 9-10.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:42, Reply)
That's because I look amazingly young
and not because of his manly hairiness, right?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:43, Reply)
Yeah, you're only a year or two older than me aren't you?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)
Although if he's 12 years younger than you, then I'm clearly wrong on that point.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)
Unless I'm completely wrong about how old he is.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I'm 35 next week.
*applies extra wrinkle 'cream'*
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)
No!
Really? That's ridiculous. You look far younger.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:47, Reply)
Old as the man she feels, etc.
I wouldn't have said 35 either. 31 maybe.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:49, Reply)
careful with the catface brand wrinkle 'cream'
I hear it can have alarming side-effects.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)
DO NOT USE INTERNALLY

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:03, Reply)
Avoid contact with eyes.
In case of contact with eyes rinse immediately with plenty of water then seek out cheeky wee fucker and administer punch in the arm.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)
Bleedin hell!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)
You are all lovely flattering people and you all look incredibly youthful also.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:04, Reply)
You've missed your chance
they don't film in Bristol any more :(
Still, if you need a co-conspirator...
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:42, Reply)
They film in goddamn Barry now. Barry!
/meme
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)
It's an awful shame
I know vaguely where that house was as well. Did you watch Desperate Romantics a few months back? He's naked for a good percentage of that series. Just saying, like.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:45, Reply)
Does he have the whole dirty, scruffy undead thang going on?
because if so, that's my birthday present sorted. Well, that on DVD and some extra batteries.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:46, Reply)
He has a dirty, scruffy alive thing going on
He's an impoverished artist type with an amusing english accent and ridiculous hair extensions, but a really, and I mean really fit arse, which features in pretty much every episode I think...
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:49, Reply)
pls to link to pics

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Couldn't find one of the arse
but rest assured it is good. Have this instead.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:56, Reply)
To be fair
he's quite often seen in the nuddy in Being Human too. It's just in Desperate Romantics there's quite a lot of energetic sex, and he's having most of it.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
I've never seen either program
perhaps I should
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Yes. You should.
Being Human is actually very good, Desperate Romantics less so, but a lot of fun to watch.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:03, Reply)
Is it the one that's meant to be funny with a ghost and a werewolf or something?
I remember watching something like that ages ago and thinking 'meh'
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Ooo! I say.
That's rather nice.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Uh huh. Good innit?
he is a rather tasty morsel.
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Go wash your mouth out.
This is a family website.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)
Evening DG

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Evening al
Alas I'm just popping off for a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Later big man.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:02, Reply)
*gargles*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 19:59, Reply)
It is becoming more apparent
that I may be getting poorly. But it's the weekend :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
I think I'd stalk Zachary Quinto
(in the alternate universe where he's straight). He has a dog, I have a dog. If I move to wherever it is he lives it's only a matter of time.
(Charmander, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Aw what?
He's gay? That's no bloody fun!
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Who he?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Oh, the new Mr Spock.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Sylar in Heroes
and Spock in the new Star Trek film.

lmgtfy.com/?q=zachary+quinto
(berk, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Sylar from Heroes
Delicious, delicious evil.
And berk, sadly it is (rumoured to be) true. I remember talking about our frighteningly similar taste in celebrity men on Saturday, (Robert Downey Jr, anyone?)
(Charmander, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)
Lauren Laverne and Missy Peregrym
how would I go about it? badly probably.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 20:10, Reply)

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