Morning all
In honour of the impending Darth Foxtrot TV extravaganza, what is the best/strangest thing you have won?

ALT Q:
Last meal on Death Row?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:04, 130 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I won a packet of fags in a pub quiz once.
Last meal I ate, or last meal were i to be on death row...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Have updated!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I got confused and read that as "ate"
and was confused and disgusted.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

There's a naked picture of Maximinimus up on twitter if you all want to have a look
www.b3ta.com/talk/7094487
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

He thinks he's Demi Moore.

( girlinthehole, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:11, Reply)

maybe he is

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:11, Reply)

No, no he is not.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

it's worth considering every possiblity

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

You've not met him, I imagine.
He's ALL MAN
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

+CHILD

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Taking into account your post below,
you are completely made of right.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

*beams*
I like you, you can stay.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Much obliged.
This thread almost makes me miss /talk.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

When it's banter like this
What's the difference?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

When you're the target instead of Maxi.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I've just been accepted (again) over there
Admittedly by one person, but still.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I occasionally pop back in.
Haven't for a while, though
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Oh god he's come on talk and defended himself, I'm going to vomit blood.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It seems only to be "WELL I HAVE LOST WEIGHT AND HAVE A MASSIVE COCK AND A GIRLFRIEND"
which is standard procedure.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Obvious strikethrough waiting to happen there
If I could stomach looking at the pic again, I'd Paintsmash a furry costume into the background.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Just put postits on the screen while you do it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)

huh huh
post tits
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

But what if one falls off?
I can't risk it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Put the furry costume ON him, then

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Oh god she's turned up to defend him.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I know...
I didn't even realise she was a b3tan.
*checks* Member for 21 days...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:06, Reply)

>popcorn.gif

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:08, Reply)

What can I say to get her to admit he cries after sex?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:10, Reply)

"Do his tears taste as salty as his manfat?"

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I have only just signed in
and I am so disgusted by that I may very well just sign back out again.
(berk, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

"Don't you find it endearing and tender
When he weeps and won't stop cuddling you after sex?"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Hmm...ok, you're more likely to get away with that one
Though I would suggest
"won't stop cuddlingdesperately clings to"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:17, Reply)

+E
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I don't know why I've got my online reputation
when he's got registered sex offender written all over his sweaty face.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Its probably all the rapes
I would guess
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

hey, I've never met you
but I already know you have rapey eyes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

i like the bit where the girlfriend turns up and says she only posted the picture to show how camp he is.
i wonder if he knew it was all over /talk all weekend...my suspicion is probably yes.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Are you allowed over here?
I'll give you a pass, for being a fellow Wildhearts fan.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

why, thank you kind sir.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

It's just a ridiculously complicated plan to let all the b3ta ladiez know the size of his cock.
I bet you're well up for him gazzing you now aren't you?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:34, Reply)

been there, done that, made it stop.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

He cockgazzed you?
Or you 'went there'?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:39, Reply)

oh god no!!
and no actual pictures - i was just agony aunt for a few days, which was ok but a little odd...
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I'm sorry for your burden

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:41, Reply)

he's so wonderfully sensitive though?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

he's ok, bless him.
you know, apart from the naked twitter pictures, and that...
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Nah, don't be nice he's a creepy spastic.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:46, Reply)

I AM NICE!
just ask frisbee fucknuckle. he'll tell you.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Has he been sacked yet?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I'm suprised he hasn't followed you over here.
He loves it a bit too much when you insult him.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:50, Reply)

i find it unbearably creepy, and frustrating. he's such a WEIRD.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I quite like him*
He always makes me laugh by being really really shit.

*I'll only admit that here because he's too thick to find offtopic.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 13:02, Reply)

*tears eyes out and swallows them*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Alright Corinthian

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

*Sandman highfives*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

yo
cheers for those recommendations. I went to a couple of other sources as well, and between you I've got some great new music.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Awesome!
Cheers as well, I shall check your recommendation out when I get home too. Any others, send my way and I'll reciprocate.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Why?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

HES GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND THEY LIKE SEX AND EVERYTHING
The more people know the more valid their relationship.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I see

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I won £2500 once
that was pretty good

Last meal would probably be moules mariniere, loads of it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Nice
£2500 nice and mussels nice

I like them done with a tin of tomato, chillis and a can of lager. Lovely!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I've developed a real love for seafood that you eat with your hands
had an amazing thai crab claws in roasted chilli sauce a little while back. sensational.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

That does sound good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

it was.
not as good as the beef wellington I had on friday night though. That was fucking outrageously good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I'm going to make a mini one, just for me
one day. My local butchers do them and they are lovely
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

do it
I can recommend using a venison paté in it.

We'd eaten so much that we weren't all that concerned when my mate's cat stole the last of the beef from the worktop. Probably about 4 or 5 quids worth...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

alternatively use the mushroom and shallot mix from thw Shooters Sandwich recipe
Goes fabulous with cow.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:51, Reply)

use both
having a proper meat paté in there really adds to the dish
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Goddamn I am starving now.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I'd go with a liver paté myself
but also try to sneak a little Dijon mustard in there too ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I had loads of seafood in italy
and decided it was the best thing ever.

Then I had seafood Paella in Swansea and was sick everywhere.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I love making paella
Lots of chorizo and garlic, chicken, mussles and prawns.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I've been fortunate enough not to have been made ill by it
but then, I wouldn't eat seafood in Swansea
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

seafood
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

hey! there's good ice cream in mumbles

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Joe's?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:23, Reply)

yup
or that nice one I forget the name of. Big place, on the sea front.

edit: VERDI'S!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I'm sorry to break it to you
but Joe's is shit. Every single Cornish ice cream producer is better.

My ex was from Swansea and always banged on about Joe's.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

shhh
it's the only nice thing round here. I've got to get the hell out
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

this is a wise move
especially if it's from an outdoor market
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

my mum won a trifle
at WI once. That was odd. And tasty.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I won
a gold coin once and some light and sound space Lego. My finest moments!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I like to imagine that gold coin was a chocolate one

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Amazingly it is real gold
Its about the size of a 1/2p coin though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

ha'pennys were quite large

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Not the "modern" ones

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Alt 2 Pacs of crisps and a Vanilla Ice.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

baby

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I am one of the unlucky people who never win anything.
Alt: Cheesecake, I think.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

enter more competitions
I won quite a bit of stuff from 6music in the days when I worked from home and 6music had a tiny listenership.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I guess I should, but I don't have very much luck in general

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Hello beautiful.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

oh hi!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Hello hotstuff.
Glad to hear you had a good weekend.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

hello you
it was brilliant thank you, although i think i hammered the powerplates a bit too hard this morning, i am all weak around the knees, and not in a good way! the flatmate's boyfriend has fixed everything that was annoying me around the flat, so all the clocks show the right times, the central heating comes on when we are actually in, the shower now works perfectly and doesn't spray everywhere, the curtains in the spare room don't flash my naked flatmate to the whole street... ate too much, drank too much, and got lots of lovely text messages. it's all good.

how was lunch with the mother??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Excellent to hear.
Lunch with my mother was nice, if held up by student protests. Someone on FB was gloating about "annoying shoppers on Oxford Street" and I had to sit on my hands to prevent me shouting at her. I lost about an hour of time I could spend with her and when you only have about 4 hours to begin with, it's fucking shit.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

that is shit
my colleague got locked in john lewis, which was quite scary (esp for her credit card). she doesn't have much luck, when she was choosing her engagement ring, there was an armed raid on hatton garden and they got locked in there as well.

i was on my way home from the gym early sat evening and got surrounded by a load of students carrying placards that said "tory cuts can suck my fucking nuts". so erudite, it made me feel like paying to educate them... esp as most of them looked to be about 28...

oooh and best thing, we now have our manchester ladies bash in the diary, a full complement of LAAK and special guests. i am excited about this!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm so excited about this. Probably need to book the train soon though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

3 months in advance?!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

In order to be cheap and let la famille know when I'm coming home.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

bloody hell
I just checked to see how much it'd be from here - £69!!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

First 9 episodes of 'Monkey!' on video and a Monkey! t-shirt.
The only other thing I've ever won is a book called 'The Cheese Room'.

Alt: A full Tayyab's blowout, or an Argentinian steak with chimichurri.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

our trainees at my old firm once got asked to do their death row dinner for our firm's internal magazine
(an opportunity to influence... erm... dozens of people). it was a total banana-skin. some of them went on and on about 18 course meals like "partridge glazed in a dark chocolate and chilli sauce - my mother's own recipe". they all picked utterly unrealistic very worthy people from history as their dates and incredibly dull and predictable venues.

apart from one of the boys. who simply put "girls aloud sandwich" as his answer to all 3. it's surprising how much law firms can lack a sense of humour...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I won four VIP passes to the Reading festival on the Bigger Breakfast.
I also won an art competition when I was 12 and got £100, a tour of the Tate Liverpool and my picture hangs in Merseyside Police HQ reception. Or it did. Don't know about now.

I would have to have a 'tapas' version of all my favourite meals. I could not decide. There would be actual tapas in there though. And gravy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I won a calligraphy competition and my work was in Winchester Great Hall.
I was incensed to find it no longer is when I took Lusty recently.

Fucking outrageous. I blame Nick Clegg and his cronies. It's *something* gone mad, I tell you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

calligraphy?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Did you expect anything else?
Monty doesn't actually use computers he scribes his posts on to parchment then a highly trained monk imputs the letters into the magic box and then writes down all the replies and hands back to Monty so he may read them in the correct fashion, non of this "virtual writing nonsence"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

This is true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

The good thing about them is that they can spell basic words like ‘nonsense’

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

my monk is dsylexic

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I recall my picture wasn't there during a refurb and my grandad was raising the roof in reception.
"My grandaughter is a talented young lady. She's going to be heartbroken. It's a terrible loss."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Yes, I really am that much of a middle-class twat

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:49, Reply)

in my primary school we had calligraphy lessons
and we were only allowed to use fountain pens for all other subjects except maths
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:52, Reply)

There are strict rules governing the last meal though
budget, if the chef has it in, if they can be assed.

I won a Slyvanian Family Tree House once it was awesome. Oh and I won a Paddington Bear, which I think got eaten by mice which sucked ass. My nan knitted me a superted which had a little knitted "normal" bear suit and you unzipped it and underneath was the superted outfit. It was the best thing ever. Then it got eaten by mice :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

you are a borrower
aicmfp
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

mice which sucked ass?
nasty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

yeah I belive their latin name is
Mus darthulus
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

that sounds about right

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Beat me to it. Good day sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

good day to you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

No rules on my watch, lady!
Spend as much as you want - you'd be dead and not have to pay
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

oh in that case
I'd go for fugu with a side of cassava and an ackee fruit pie to finish
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

*googles*
This could well be your last meal!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

half an hour after arriving in Las Vegas
I put $5 in a fruit machine and won $625. Which was nice.

I also got "batting at number 7" in the Selly Park Cricket Club Raffle. Turns out they were short of players - I passed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I want to go to Vegas, would you recommend it?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:11, Reply)

as long as you go with friends
I suspect it would be quite awful alone.

After the first day one of the guys I was with declared, "I've seen more feebs, gimps, crips, and generally dysfunctional people in the last 24 hours than in the preceding year." He was not wrong.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 12:19, Reply)

When my brother were younger (about 7) we always used to enter those McDonalds colouring competitions
And always won (with hindsight it's probably because we were the only ones entering). Got some pretty decent swag for a 7 year-old, primitive computer games and the like. The best one was the trunk of Lego, it was happy day in the Charmanders' residence the day that got delivered.
I sometimes enter those "WIN INFINITE MONEY AT ANY STORE" competitions in magazines but I think I must have used up all my luck when I was little.
(Charmander, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)