Dilemma.
I'm tempted to get a Chinese this evening, but I always end up spending a fortune on food as ordering Chinese for one is a bit of a science.

If you were getting a Chinese for one, what would you order?

Alt: I think my mate has caught gayness, he doesn't want to go to the pub because it's cold, wet and windy out. Have any of your friends ever caught it, and if so, how long do the symptoms last?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:54, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Deep fried shredded beef and fried rice is what I usually stick to.
I'm assuming you are talking about Chinese food, and not Chinese prozzies.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:55, Reply)

It's funny because
if you go for a Chinese prozzie, it's very nice and stuff but after ten minutes you fancy another one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:57, Reply)

hahahahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Do they come with the option of being either
HIV or MSG free?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

what, you have to choose just one??

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:05, Reply)

I don't know. I'm hoping that DG can give me more information on Chinese hookers.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:08, Reply)

Oi!
Happily married man, here Jeff.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:11, Reply)

Yeah, food.
Shredded beef is nice, but it's quite sweet and as much as I like it, I feel obliged to order something a bit more sour to go with it.

This is how I manage to spend too much on a takeout.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:58, Reply)

you could get duck pancakes instead?
NOM.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:58, Reply)

I love duck.
But it's expensive.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

Get a carton of lemon sauce to go with it.
Nom.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

I associate lemon sauce with chicken though.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:03, Reply)

It goes quite nicely if you just pour it on the rice.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:11, Reply)

Right.
I'm going to look at the menu.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:14, Reply)

I fancy a Chinese now.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:19, Reply)

I thought you were happily married?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:27, Reply)

I'm fickle.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:29, Reply)

SIngapore noodles and fried egg rice.
but maybe not the noodles anymore. I think I had an allergy to the last lot that I ate :( about an hour after I finished my skin started getting unbearably itchy all over.
So in that case, vegetable noodles and fried egg rice.


Symptoms last into old age.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:56, Reply)

Itchy skin?
*Adopts awful Chinese accent*

You have egg fried lice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:59, Reply)

I wish it was that easy...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:01, Reply)

Prawn fried rice and curry sauce.
Alt: depends how long it stays cold, wet and windy.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Curry sauce?
Behave.

*Waves!*

Hello Blousie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

Hi Jeff.
I love chinese curry sauce.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:03, Reply)

A vegetable curry might be an idea.
But I feel like it's cheating, getting a curry from Chinese.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:06, Reply)

You're weird.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:12, Reply)

No I'm not.
Curry comes from the Curry House.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Yes.
And the curry house special sauce comes straight from the chef's cock.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:14, Reply)

I used to work in a curry house, one of the most soul destroying jobs I ever had...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:14, Reply)

Yes, but think of all the curry.
Trufact: At the height of their original bout of fame, all five members of Take That called into my local curry house after a gig at Whitley Bay Ice Rink.

I know this to be true because I lived in a flat on the same block and was awoken at 1am by screaming, sopping knickered teenagers wanting to sample Robbie's lamb bhuna.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:17, Reply)

I wasn't allowed to have any of it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:18, Reply)

That sucks.
Being fed is surely one of the perks of restaurant working? It was when I worked in one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:30, Reply)

So you're saying that once you've played the Whitley Bay Ice Rink
The only way is down?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:18, Reply)

That, or to leave the 'band'.
I use the term 'band' in its loosest possible sense, of course.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

You've just noticed?
HE FUCKS DOGS!!!!

Evening Blousie.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Hi DG!
The dog fucking I can forgive but his weird food hangups are just too way out.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:15, Reply)

The fucking deviant.
Less than two weeks until we get our goth on...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:17, Reply)

Wooooo!
*sharpens eyeliner*
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

*Turns light off and sits in corner doing that 'waving hands about' thing*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:24, Reply)

This is why we are so good together Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:18, Reply)

That and the fact no else will have us.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

I get a large order of lo mein and an order of kung pao chicken, put in a bowl, put in fridge, eat tomorrow when cold
alt: I currently have it. But must get over it because I WILL be moving soon, ended up talking about it last night.
You usually get over it when it becomes warm daily.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

How did your current housemate take the news?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:01, Reply)

How about this, the landlady/housemate whatever, has been telling people for months that she's going to ask us to leave when she gets a new job, but hasn't said anything to us.
So yesterday she tells me she thinks the other housemate is looking for a place to move to but hasn't told her about it. She seemed upset by this.
So I told her "WELL, people have been telling us for months that you're going to ask us to leave, so yes I imagine she is looking for a place to move to. I haven't been looking much but I will start."
*utter silence*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:05, Reply)

Oooh.
Well played. You've batted the issue right back to the landlady.

Are you expecting further conversations on the subject?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:07, Reply)

not really, we talked a bit more about it, she seemed more upset about people telling us than us knowing
she says we will remain friends but I don't see it happening
and I told her to just figure out when she wants us out and to tell us
she said she felt bad because she knew I wouldn't have a place to go and I told her I try to be fair and look at it from her perspective, it's not her problem I don't have a place to go, it's my problem
I'm going to start packing and cleaning and looking, and I guess the only other conversation will be "I'll be out by this date"
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:15, Reply)

That is shit!
She is shit. She should have told you as soon as she started thinking about it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:17, Reply)

But what if she didn't get her new job? Why, that would mean she wouldn't be able to pay her bills without my money!

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:19, Reply)

This isn't your problem K

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:22, Reply)

I think she was being sarcastic Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:25, Reply)

that

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:29, Reply)

To be honest
I think I'd rather have the additional income for a bit in case the job went tits up, if I were in that situation.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:27, Reply)

well I'll be sure to tell her
but hey Karma is indeed a bitch as she's being sent to New fucking Mexico with the new job and she doesn't want to leave
hahaha hohoho
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:30, Reply)

Ah.
I see where you're coming from now...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:32, Reply)

...all the way from Losertown, bundled up on the Bitter Bus?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Either chicken chow mein, or sweet & sour chicken balls with egg fried rice/chips

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:08, Reply)

That isn't a bad shout AA
Although I'm thinking that the specal chow mein might give me a bit more variety.

What do you think?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:10, Reply)

Special chow mein can be magnificent
But it can be very poor, with overcooked prawns. That's the reason I tend to stick to chicken, it's reliable.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:11, Reply)

E ther chicken mein, r sweet & sour chicke with egg friend rice/chips
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:11, Reply)

I chow o sou n balls?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:12, Reply)

Try again.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:13, Reply)

I chow on balls?
You changed that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:36, Reply)

I totally fucking didn't.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:43, Reply)

Hmm...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:54, Reply)

God that was hard work.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Totally worth it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:14, Reply)

Well done.
It made me laugh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:16, Reply)

What?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:14, Reply)

Evening Davvers.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:18, Reply)

Al.
*punches shoulder*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:20, Reply)

*grunts*
*refuses to make eye contact*
s'up?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

Not a lot.
Quiet night in with some wine and not a lot else.

You?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Off't cinema to see't Kings Speech wit' Firth innit.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Wow, you're going with Colin???
get a lock of his chest hair, you'll make a FORTUNE on eBay.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:25, Reply)

Your wife will probably pay me handsomely

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:27, Reply)

I've stolen her debit card.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:28, Reply)

I'm off out shortly but I would suggest
crispy shredded beef or szechuan chilli prawns, nom. Enjoy your evenings folks.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:13, Reply)

I hope you get badly injured while you're out

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:18, Reply)

Ah well, Ive been hoping you would die in a freak bread making accident but so far no joy.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:23, Reply)

A good reposte

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:27, Reply)

Beef chow mein, egg fried rice and chicken and noodles in black bean sauce.
If I was feeling hungry I'd also get sweet and sour chicken (Hong Kong style obvs).

I could murder one now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:16, Reply)

murder steal
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:19, Reply)

No I'll stick with murder.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:21, Reply)

And then nick its wallet.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:25, Reply)

*taps nose*

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Having just waited 15 mins for a Metro to town
I can indeed confirm your mate has terminal gay. It has just started snowing here!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:25, Reply)

I hope you left your coat at home, then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:27, Reply)

But of course
It isnt Siberia as yet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:28, Reply)

I do hope you're not wearing a jumper like some sort of southern wonzer.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:30, Reply)

String vest and a tab packet hat, innit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:31, Reply)

I hope so
otherwise I'll have to take the piss.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:32, Reply)

It's what we're ALL wearing oop north now, al.
Bear that in mind when you go to see Iron Maiden at the Arena. Also, when encountering a policeman in Newcastle, it is customary to shoot him in the face and then hide in the countryside for a week. So come tooled up.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:34, Reply)

Brilliant!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:37, Reply)

I'm sure you could find a shooter easy in the big smoke.
Gonz probably has some illegal immigrant taxi driver contacts, ask him.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:38, Reply)

I can get a gun, no problem, easy stuff, but if you mark it, it's yours for keeps, if you get me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:41, Reply)

No, that was last month.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:30, Reply)

What? I was typing away and it went, I'm not typing it all out again, but I made a spreadsheet based on how good I was for the week at stuff.
Really Cheap, a lunchtime special in the evening which is half rice/noodles and half a main.
Medium: a 'lunchtime C' which is a half rice/noodle, full mains and a prawn crackers or pancake roll

Combinations I like are
- Crispy Beef + noodles
- Thai style chicken, chicken in batter, and rice.
- Sweet'n'sour prawn and rice
- A romantic duck, 1/4
- Mixed Starters + Hoe Sin sauce
- Seaweed, always love the seaweed, love that shit, lap it up.
- Kun Po Chicken with the chicken in batter.

Overlooked stuff that I should get in on
- Lemon chicken
- Salt'n'Pepper Squid

If it's at the end of a day and I just want to have something without becoming really really fat.
- Salt'n'Pepper been curd + sweet'n'sour sauce (small) + a soup.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:34, Reply)

If there is more [rice/noodles/chips] portians than main dishes then I get angry, it's the wrong ratio.
There was a guy who once ordered Chips, Noodles and Rice, and I have never looked down on someone so much in my life; he is like 15.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Chow Minge !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Is that a dish or a command. Gonz?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:37, Reply)

I yell it while branding my willy like Liono yells "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:39, Reply)

salt and pepper squid?
cooked?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:37, Reply)

Yup, it's a very very light batter so it goes crispy, well nice.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:40, Reply)

oooh sounds nice

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 19:44, Reply)