Ever read any Anton La Vey?
I was embarrassed and massively surprised to find him insightful and an eminently sensible man, on the whole. Not what I was expecting from a Ming The Merciless lookalike who minced around San Francisco with a panther on a chain.

When was the last time you were pleasantly surprised by someone/thing?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:46, 119 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anton La Gey
more like.

Nothing, I'm a natural pessimist and so I'm actually rarely suprised.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:48, Reply)

No beacause I'm not a cunt
although my mother might disagree
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Wow; 2 replies, you've hit a rich vein of popular culture here.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I am shamed by the incisive wit and thought-provoking nature of your dinner thread.


Chastened, I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Thank you - I have run out of the ability to make decisions so it is vitally important

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Can this turn into an online feud? We haven't had a good one since becky and I fell out.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Sounds good to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:55, Reply)

LOL @ your gaz about a certain clothless monkey.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:56, Reply)

An ape isn't a monkey it's a primate fucktard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:57, Reply)

You're the primate fucktard around here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Show him some prime hate.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:59, Reply)

GOOD ONE!
God I hate him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Me too, wanker!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:06, Reply)

I know, he's SO FUCKING BENT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

It's only gay if you take it push back
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

YOU'D KNOW.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Only cos you are always pushing back with SUCH VIGOR

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

The wireless router maufacturer?
'Vigour' you bellend.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Oh piss off and spell yourself some money

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:11, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:21, Reply)

yeah, I've read the Satanic Bible and the Devil's Notebook
they are considerably better, and indeed more sensible, than one would ever credit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I haven't read either
Not even as a teen, when Marilyn Manson made it all the rage. It mostly comes down to my utter laziness with reading books.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I was much the same
I spent a few months working in a sci-fi and cult bookshop before getting a real job, and one day a kid came in asking for the Satanic Bible. He wore PVC trousers, a black top with a red pentagram on it and sported staggeringly badly-applied eyeliner. I took one look at him and realised just how large a bullet my laziness had allowed me to dodge
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I have my brothers to thank for me not going too far down that route
they didn't actually do anything or say anything, but they would've done if I'd come close to that sort of look. As it was I only went as far as black combats and a Metallica t shirt.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Same here
I have been known to wear PVC when going to Slimelight (twice, while young and fucked on MDs; never again) or InFest, but only because it's wipe-clean and feels sooooooooo sexy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:09, Reply)

*coughs* Ha, yeah, fucking teeny goths
*clears throat* So how's about this weather, huh?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Seriously mate, I know we haven't met
but I'm confident you wouldn't have done that to yourself, even that young. Seriously, his eyeliner was all over the fucking shop.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Nah, I wasn't that bad
Didn't wear pvc trousers or eyeliner just out and about.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Exactly
Special occasions only. The number of times I've seen a bunch of emo kids and I've wanted to teach them how to apply makeup...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Clicking this.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:00, Reply)

I was fully prepared to slate him utterly.
I was almost disappointed not to be able to, I had to apologise to my brother.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:00, Reply)

You'll convert to whatever really deep and important religion that Applebite is currently part of in no time.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:02, Reply)

the names of the books and the fact that he looks, as you say, like Ming the Merciless do not do him any favours
but he does talk some sense. I read them in Sixth Form, when Marilyn Manson was all the rage, and a goth mate of mine had them. I got some stick for reading them in the common room, but frankly I probably would have got the same amount had I been reading any book.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

When I was in the 6th form
Marilyn Monroe was all the rage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:05, Reply)

it took me several attempts at reading that
to discern that it said Monroe, rather than Manson
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:06, Reply)

I think we both know that I have not.
yesterday I was stuck with nowhere for my dog and I to go from around 3pm until after 10 last night, my friend left her parents house and went to her home so I could come over for a few hours
yesterday fucking sucked balls
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Yesterday was such a bender

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:01, Reply)

You know what you remind me of?
Yesterday.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:02, Reply)

POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

You know how i know you're gay?
you have sex with men in public toliets and then go home and cry yourself to sleep in front glee
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Speak English please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Non

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Bitch! Don't knock the Glee!
This allows me to raise the bar for gayest post of the day, which I assume was mine anyway; I won't be able to watch Glee tonight, because I'm taking Ms Foxtrot to see Hairspray. It was a struggle to find something even gayer than Glee, but I'm confident I've pulled it off (hehehe)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Oh good god
Musical theatre is the worst thing in the world, worse than cancer nazis
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Incorrect
Chicago is better than most sports and the entire collected output of Scotland
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I fucking loathe sport, but musical theatre is even worse than sport.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Musicals are worse than being raped by an elephant that fingers you first
When people stand up to dance and sing I want to be physically sick, preferably spewing out my stomach lineing so I can dissolve them and ingest their juices.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Damn, I agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Does this mean we can be friends again?
I'll even try and spell things correctly.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:17, Reply)

OK.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Yey!
*sings "tomorrow" to celebrate*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:25, Reply)

It's certainly up there in the top five
The only things that can possibly compete with it are war, genocide, paedophilia and Bovril.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:18, Reply)

You forgot Bert
and Gillian McKeith. And reality TV programmes. And people who think the Salsa is a dance rather than a condiment.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:22, Reply)

and three of those are debatable
Bovril however can fuck right off
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Hahah I quite agree.
About the first three.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:30, Reply)

So, you're a Bovril drinker?
*narrows eyes*
I had my suspicions...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:31, Reply)

No, I'm a paedo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Oh, thank goodness for that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:39, Reply)

god I fucking hate glee

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:02, Reply)

No.
I'll tell you the last time I was extremely disappointed by something - about 15 minutes ago I found out that the Ballroom competition I'm going to on Saturday, which I'd previously been informed was in my home town of Nottingham, is in fact in Chesterfield.

Which is in fucking DERBYSHIRE.

This is a University competition. How is the industry of the future supposed to thrive when several hundred of its brightest lights are forced to spend around 15 hours in an Infected Zone? You can't dance in a Hazmat suit! They might catch it! Around the country later this year, graduation ceremonies will be populated by the occasional semi-deformed troglodyte mong, their parents weeping in the audience and cursing the fool who forced their beloved offspring to breathe the same air as the fucktards and sheep-shaggers of Chesterfield.

Gah.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:03, Reply)

it's a ruse
they can't count on the fact that you are such colossal helmet-gobblers to ensure that you don't reproduce any longer, so are taking futher measures.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Derbyshire, though. That's just fucking cruel.
Why isn't there a forcefield around it yet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Careful you don't get Derbyshire Neck.
You'll need to take iodine supplements. The peak district is freaky. The hills have eyes...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:16, Reply)

I feel like a man who was promised a good seeing to from a supermodel
and opened his door to find Fabio stood there, unfurling his hair like a fucking Timotei advert
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:19, Reply)

So things have got much much better for you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:22, Reply)

*sigh*
Yes dear. Very good.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah
I am so fucking funny!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I watched the new Disney film last week, Tangled.
I wasn't expecting much, it turned out to be absolutely fucking superb.

I was also pleasantly surprised by Vipros' suggestion of courgette in a chilli, it works pretty damn well!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Corgette tip of the day
Discard the middle section as it is full of water and has little flavour.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Courgette tip of the day: it's spelled 'courgette'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I hate you so much sometimes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:20, Reply)

i am researching easements for recreation
it is literally killing me, one brain cell at a time.

it's not pleasant and there's no surprises.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:18, Reply)

That's the tagline I put on the cards I strategically place in phone boxes
Good job I'm already off your list, eh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:20, Reply)

I'll give you recreation easements
I can't promise it won't be pleasant or surprising.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Isn't that the kind of shit that you palm off on a trainee

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:29, Reply)

nah
he is tied up on a 2 week trial and i can't give him anything else to do!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

tsk tsk you're doing it all wrong.
" Right you little cunt write me a three thousand word report, with a brief precise of three hundred words on *THIS* form of easement by three tomorrow. If you fuck it up and make me look stupid I'll make sure that your contract will be terminated. Now fuck off out of my sight you long streak of piss."
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:38, Reply)

To the law bibliothèque!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

funnily enough
this is not how i am allowed to speak to the trainees.

this is partly what makes the job so frustrating.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Fuck all the touchy feely nyomnyom crap, I prefer the ruthless tyrannical approach
Fear works wonders
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:43, Reply)

That would make you a property lawyer!
Does anyone remember Blue Mercedes and their oh-so-funky, if only, hit song 'I Want to be Your Property'? I had it on 7 inch. Still do, in fact.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:32, Reply)

If it was 8 inches it might reach better.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Yes. It was fucking shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Well
this came out of left field.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:38, Reply)

No, Kroney, it came out of Blue Mercedes.
Totally different from Leftfield, whose 'Not Forgotten' is a dance classic.

Can't you fucking read?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Oh, and now
you're probably going to tell me 5 Star were shit, too?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I shouldn't dare.
That 'Steadman' looks like a right hardnut.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:56, Reply)

You are Steadman
AICMFP

EDIT: Arse. Too slow (a lot like Steadman trying to make his escape after fucking men in public toilets).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:57, Reply)

somethingsomethingsomething
STEADMAN
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Well I don't care much for Anton La Vey.
Not that I've read any, but he sounds like a helmet. I don't care anyway, he's not getting me down, I'm in a tremendous mood today and I don't reckon anything can ruin it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:30, Reply)

I killed your cat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:32, Reply)

My cat was already dead, rah!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:32, Reply)

yeah, because I killed it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:38, Reply)

My cat committed suicide in 1996 after a particularly tempestuous relationship with the neighbourhood tom.
I think you're thinking about the wrong cat.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I am rarely pleasantly surprised by anything
/cynicism lols

In a similar vein to AA though, I watched How To Train Your Dragon with my nephew at the weekend and really, really enjoyed it.
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

I watched
A Few Hard Men and Forrest Hump with my nephew on Saturday. He let me sit him on my lap whilst I pretended to be a train and everything. Definitely a weekend to melt the hardest cynic's heart.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Yeah, I had HTTYD and numerous Spiderman/Iron Man films
It was very sweet, especially since he brought me a blanket and his smarties to share whilst we sat together on the sofa. Being bounced on at 7am the following morning to play meccano was less fun though...
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Erm, well
you gotta take the rough with the smooth!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:45, Reply)

Berk, you...berk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Ahahaha I've just seen what I missed there
no, I did not watch porn with or sexually abuse my nephew.
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)

At least you got a bouncing on the next morning.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Not that kind of bouncing
younger men is all very fine and well but 3 is probably pushing the boundaries a little.
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I like you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:45, Reply)

The missus not around then?
Oh well, needs musk.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:46, Reply)

Well played.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Gaaaah!
Hoisted by my own perverted petard! The poor woman's not a musk-ox or a musk-rat. Her anus has nary a stain nor crinkle. In fact it's more like a sort of lower-body halo that emits a warm, loving light that beckons you in, occasionally emitting quiet puffs of orchid-scented perfume. Prostrate yourself before my wife's anus and take it not in vain!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:58, Reply)

I'll be round in half an hour.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:00, Reply)

If there was one thing I was looking for from b3ta when I logged-on today, it was not a verbose description of your wife's arsehole.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:04, Reply)

I know.
Where was he last night when you really did?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:08, Reply)

Train chase
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:43, Reply)

3 years old is a bit young for massive drugs...

(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Nonsense.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Laudanum in the milk, eh?

(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Yup, and cognac in the Cow & Gate.
Never did me any.. oh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Who the fuck's Anton La Vey
and should I care?
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:37, Reply)

If only
there was somewhere one could...oh, I don't know...type a person's name into, say, a magic box and lots of information about them would appear. Call me a creazy dreamer....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)

I am far too busy and important to be sitting around Googling things.
Now hop to it.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Kiss my muskhole.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 17:59, Reply)

i love this

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 18:03, Reply)