Why don't you all suck him off eh?
This has made me angry, www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1355823/NHS-Direct-How-headset-monkey-replace-GP-receptionist.html

What's made you blah blah oh fuck off
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 13:58, 90 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well my GP's secreatry is a miserable old bitch so I couldnt care less

there is a simple answer to all the NHS's woes, everyone should MTFU and stop getting so ill. It's all in the mind anyway.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)

There is that,
the biggest wastage in the NHS is the public not going to the right places.
Not that you can blame them, it's hugely complicated however the 111 system and a few others schemes are designed so you go to one place 111 and then they go "what's wrong" and then push you to the best place for you to go to.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:07, Reply)

GP's secretaries and receptionists are all miserable old bitches
I think they have to be.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:08, Reply)

They tend to be and are generally hired from that pool
The term often used is "gatekeeper" and are designed to stop people wasting the NHS's time.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Yell ringing me up to tell me our advertizing is due to be renewed.
They want to discuss it with me as they can save me money on deals they have. Why can't they just not charge us as much and carry on as normal. I told them to do me the best deal, fax it to me and I'll sign. Oh no! it doesn't work like that. Cunts! I haven't got time to fanny about talking about boring crap like that. I'm too busy on here.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Where in this article does it say that this new 111 service will replace the receptionist?:
Surely this 111 service is a new, added service for people whit out of hour concerns they want to discuss, but don't think it's bad enough to call out their GP?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:10, Reply)

It's almost like he doesn't know what he's talking about?
111 may as part of it have a remote booking managment system so if someone has spoken to a nurse and they need medical attention non urgently they can be directly booked into their GP without then hanging up and ringing someone else. Practices will still need secretaries.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

What does this have to do with paperclips or rape?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:16, Reply)

No secretaires mean no paperclips?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I see
Thanks for clearing that up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Everyone needs paperclips.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:19, Reply)

paperclips raped

My Dad needed a paperclip yesterday - trufax
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:21, Reply)

everyone needs raped
that doesn't even make sense you spastic.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:31, Reply)

how about a fire drill when you work in a building of over 1000 people
it takes AGES to get in and out, they don't let you get your coat or your wallet so you can't even fuck off shopping, and generally it has pissed me right off.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:30, Reply)

bet you're all still billing your clients while you're outside.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:32, Reply)

now now
the tax on those bills pays your wages...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:34, Reply)

And my wages go on the inflated rents I have to pay.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

in milton keynes?
they should be paying you to live there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

A quick perusal of the last thread
and in the youth cafe link- the guy you thought was hot, was the spitting image of the guy at the v-day party thing on Monday. It was quite creepy.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

REALLY??
i mean, keep it in perspective, he was hot for a newslink about milton keynes. but you should still have got his number, or did i miss this?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:53, Reply)

He was hotter than the guy in that link
quite alarmingly so in fact. However after wondering for a while if I was drunk enough, I actually talked to him and although he is obviously super clever- doing his PHD in some kind of physics, he didn't have a sense of humour. When I say that, I don't mean it was bad, I mean he actually didn't have any concept of humour. And when I heard that I thought 'fuck I'll never pull him now, you need a sense of humour for that.'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

because he'd be the dullest man EVER
even worse than LiC
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

You can take it either way
but all self-deprecation aside, you're right I wouldn't.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:58, Reply)

humour is easily the most important thing
well, on a par with brains. dumb and funny is also not sexy.

what a shame!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Pft he is not awesome enough for you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Now this is more like it :)
Was a good night anyway. There were gin-flavoured cupcakes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:07, Reply)

*saddest of sadfaces*
You big meanypants.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

You mean you don't have an account with [shop names]

At least it's nice and sunny out
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Make sure your coat is on the way to the fire exit.
Make sure your wallet is in your pocket with your cigarettes.
These two simple steps turn a fire drill into pure golden win.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Last year on the first day back after Christmas an electricty sub station blew up
and we all got to go home at 10:30! WOOP!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Happy days.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:41, Reply)

BUT HER GUCCI BAG

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I don't think it's that bad

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:33, Reply)

OMG supernatural was awesome last night
See what you meant about the sexy/wrong thing :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:34, Reply)

*raises eyebrow*
*checks reading on paedometer*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Yes because we all know how much I love children

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Which is why I'm giving you the opportunity to explain yourself

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I couldn't help it, they were unattended
I was in a foreign country and a bit bored, she was quite quirky and raked in the money in my freak show
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:39, Reply)

clicking this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

haha ace answer
but yeah sexy/wrong was the key feeling there. And a bit of 'yay Dean is properly back in the hunting swing'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:37, Reply)

He even makes vomiting sexy *sighs*
I reckon I can get another four episodes in tonight...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I think you should
I also hate to point this out but episode 14 (showing on Friday) will probably be up on Saturday evening
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:40, Reply)

I can wait until Sunday
...just
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:41, Reply)

The article or the proposal?
the main problem I have with it is that it's poorly reasearched and it's insulting to a number of the people I work with. Only I am allowed to call them shit and lazy.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Didn't bother reading the article
I know someone who is being employed by the 111 thing, and I think it sounded alright
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I could probably look up how often they've gone to the toilet in the last month.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Smooth dude

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

There's nothing sexy about schedule adherence calculations.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Where the fuck were you earlier?!
WOOKIEE ASKED FOR YOUR HELP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Consultation meeting
I have a job, but no one really knows what I do so they sort of said "yeah keep doing what you're doing"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:48, Reply)

also what did he need?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:49, Reply)

It related to RSwipe funnily enough
I was trying to get some information out of her and Wookiee suggested that you'd probably be able to find a link to times she's posted said information previously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

they should have asked us, we could answer that
i) reads every newspaper on the planet
ii) emails kitty with links to the newspaper
ii) reads every page on b3ta and posts links to the newspaper
iii) MSNs with kitty about what is happening on b3ta
iv) looks up female staff names on the intranet to see if they are hot
v) emails kitty for romantic advice on pulling hot female staff
vi) looks for links on youtube
vii) MSNs links on youtube to kitty
viii) goes home at 4.59pm and wanks into a sock over kitty, the female staff, youtube and kitty

10/10 surely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I can't get youtube at work.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

damn, so close

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I just sent that link to kitty actually
with the subtitle: look at the mental
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:58, Reply)

excellent, that won't prove my point AT ALL.
she's going to think you're the mental, you do know this, right?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:59, Reply)

I don't know, replying to a thread about a meeting I had about the future of 40 odd collegues and my careers
as an excuse to insult me doesn't seem very sane to me.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:02, Reply)

your reverse psychology won't work on me
we both know that you are half smiling at my post whilst really wishing it wasn't me who had written it so that you could actually laugh and click "i like this" instead of "i wish you would forget your password and never come back".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:04, Reply)

No, I'm not smiling, I'm not in the mood.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

ah well
the top of popular page shows that everyone else is smiling AT you, so that'll have to do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Will this cheer you up?

Amused me and my easily amusable brain
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Me too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

ix) gazzes Kitty links about himself and his 'awesomeness'

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:02, Reply)

awesomeness is also a very relative term

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Two uses of ii)
Tsk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Well deserved click
*doffs hat*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:55, Reply)

danke schon!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Answer the question.
Why don't you all suck me off?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:13, Reply)

because you don't like vegetarians
and if i am going to put meat in my mouth, it's not going to be for someone who dislikes me and all my kind.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Oh.
Did I actually say I disliked vegetarians?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Surely it goes without saying though?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:18, Reply)

on numerous occasions
in many heartbreaking and colourful ways.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Because that would be fucking bent.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Because you're old enough to be my dad.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Won't that add to the experience for you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:19, Reply)

There's only four people I'd suck off who are old enough to be my dad,
And Monty, bless him, isn't one of them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

No wait,
Five.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Hang on,
Six.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Fuck it.
There are quite a few people I'd suck off who are old enough to be my dad, but monty still isn't one of them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Because I don't want AIDs

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I'm busy.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:19, Reply)

That's a weird excuse
it makes it sound like you'd be perfectly willing when you had a spare moment.
(berk, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:21, Reply)

*that's the joke link*

(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:27, Reply)

We cant find your micropenis

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Blow jobs aren't my forte.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

You're not exactly selling yourself here, are you?
This is the internet. Lie.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Because the taste
of bitter old man spunk would clog my throat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:27, Reply)

You've already given one excuse
Let someone else have a go.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

because I don't fancy the thought of having your gentleman's personal gentleman in my mouth
with its miasma of fetid organzola
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:29, Reply)