"take the long road and walk it" by the music and "killing in the name of"
both of them are very good loud angry driving songs.

i am in a mood this morning because the stupid window cleaners dropped soapy water on my head on the way into the office. it has dried into horrible stiff spikes :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:01, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Nowt wrong with stiff spikes...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

there is when they cover one side of my head and not the other
humph
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

True, that does sound unbearably emo

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Sorry, it has to be done
spikes cocks
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I'm certain she wouldn't argue with that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

you know me far too well

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I spend ages trying to shape my hair into horrible stiff spikes every morning
Thank you for the timesaving tip
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

You didn't strike as a RATM kind of a girl
I am impressed!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

generally i like the most mainstream bits of all music
pop, dance, rock, indie, alternative, classical. broadly vanilla would be a fair description of my ipod.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

My iPod knows no shame either

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

I have Lady Gaga on mine

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

OK, you win

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I maintain that Bad Romance is a fucking brilliant song
I could have played that at my club night and had 150+ goths stomping along to it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I know not of this song

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

You Tube it if you can
It has a stompy bassline to it. I could mix that into countless Industrial/Aggrotech songs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

My old rock night regularly filled the dancefloor with Aqua's 'Barbie Girl'.
Although we weren't brave enough to try playing it before everyone was hammered.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

The last hour of my night was devoted to classic floorfillers
And cheesy shite like Scooter, 2 Unlimited and a techno remix of "I've got a brand new combine harvester".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Ten Masked Men to finish.
'Sweet Like Chocolate' is superb.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I completely agree with every sentiment of this post
I was aching for someone to have the nerve to play it last InFest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

As Wooks said
You'd have to play it at a time when everyone was leathered.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Come on mate, you've been to InFest
Everyone's leathered by tea time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Yes, but also a lot of people are still arrogant cunts at that time
Ok, that's mainly the London crowd, the sneering gobshites.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Don't get me started
You mean the cunts who're so scene that they only go to InFest to wear ludicrously expensive clothes that serve no purpose outside of the festival and take the piss out of people who're only there to see their mates, dance and have a good time. Like me. How fucking dare I consider having fun more important than living the cyber life.

Apart from anything else, this year will be my 9th InFest, so they can fuck the fuck off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Exactly those cunts
I had one sneer at me in Slimes because I said I wasn't from London. I yelled expletives in his face.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Welcome to why I fucking loathe Slimelight.
EDIT ooh this would work as a reply to Lab too.

Slimelight is fucking shit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Haven't been in 6 years
And I was very, very drunk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Only been twice
Last time was in 2002. Very proud of my record since then. Was on MDs both times. You'd have to be, wouldn't you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

i just have 2 gaga songs on mine
that one that goes on about red wiiine (no, i am NOT thinking of ub40) and pokerface.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Just Dance?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

JAYKAY SAYS DANCE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

*chairdances*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Fucking everything has a "red wine" reference at the start nowadays
Yes you're thinking of Just Dance, but it also crops up on Poison by Nicole Scherzinger, About A Girl by the Sugababes, and that's just off the top of my head.

It's things like this, isn't it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

yes
yes it is. sorry.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

You of all people should know better

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

sssssssh
everyone will want one!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Hahahaha
No they won't. I am under no illusions that I am an acquired taste
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

No way
No way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

haha
worst. song. ever.

even worse than mr blobby.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

+ which is on my 25 most played list

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

manamana

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

That wasn't water

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

You think you have it bad!
My loo is still broken so I went to Cafe Nero as usual and the bloody bog was out of order, there really was no time to search for another open establishment so I went home and had a dump in an M & S carrier bag...

This was both hilarious and horrific.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I so didn't need to know this fact

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Well now you do, so be quiet or come and fix my loo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

No fucking chance
You can have a Marksies carrier bag though for next time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

POTD
Hahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahaahhah *deep breath* hahahahahahahahahahh
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Thanks for your sympathy

Really the key to to find a bag without holes in the bottom
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

this makes me think of my ex flatmate
who, i have only discovered since she left, once did the same thing on a roll of newspaper ON MY SPARE ROOM FLOOR because she couldn't wait 2 mins for me to finish conditioning my hair.

fucking rank bitch!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

This was an emergency to be fair
I did once have to clean up with a Christian newspaper that was in the bog; do yoiu think I'll be damned to hell to spend eternity with the shit deamon?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Ah my poor nephew was round at our other auntie's
and he shouted out "Can you bring me some toilet paper!" and the bitch came in and handed him a GLOSSY magazine and went off cackling to herself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Other the other hand he got to wipe his arse with Jordan's face!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

My auntie's rank
My mum catches her in the shed in the night nicking pizza and wine.
then when she gets totally caught she goes "Can I borrow some bread and toilet paper as well?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

You are the ScatMan
weeebababadado
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

What?
Really? And she admitted it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

we don't really speak any more following an incident at my birthday a year or so ago
but she has told mutual friends because apparently she finds it hilarious.

i'd have chucked her out on the spot if i'd known, sod the protection from eviction act.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Where did she poo on your Birthday?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

On. The. Cake.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I would if she made Swipe some 'special' candles?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

A friend of a friend got roped into having a joint Hen/Stag do
I know, awful.

Anyway the girls were doing manicures, putting on make up etc while the lads got fcuking trashed. One of the chaps got fed up with the boring girls ruining it all so he made a lovely salad for their dinner in an act of kindness...

Unfortunately for the girls he took a massive dump on it and presented in a silver service style!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

a "hag do"
i think you'll find the technical term is. i've been to loads.

some were ok. some sucked royally.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I can't think of anything worse, surely it ruins the whole point!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I can't think of anything worse than a hen do.
I went on a lovely civilised hen weekend once, but even that took a sour turn at penis drinking straws and a cock cake.
I don't WANT to run round town with a load of harpies wearing sashes and personalised t-shirts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

It doesn't have to be that way!
My now wife, hired a massive house on the South coast, got 20 mates down and had BBQs, played on the beach and generally had a wee holiday!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Well this was like that
Nice place in the Cotwolds, wine tasting, people serving us dinner at the house. it was really cute.
But then came the cocks...
It was mostly boss though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Our window 'cleaners'
'cleaned'* my upstairs windows despite me forbidding them from going up there.
They got black blobs of water all over my dresser, my walls, and some of my toiletries and trinkets.
I'm putting a pit bull at the foot of the stairs next time.

*smeared blackness and made the windows dirtier. 100% fact and not internet exaggeration.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

sue them
you need a good property litigator??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

it's the landlady's house and she gets cross if I criticise the cowboys she has crawling all over my home.
She grew up with servants and tons of 'staff', so she's totally comfortable with having the dirty little bastards walking round her bedrooms, but it makes my skin crawl. And my cat's in there too.
If they were nice men who did a good job it would be different, but they make it worse. I wash my own windows.
I've told her several times "Don't let them do my upstairs!" I hate them coming in at all but I think the kitchen and living room is a fair compromise.
If I tell her about the blobs she'll just go "Well i shall tell them not to do it next time." and look at me like I'm the nuisance. So I'm best to get them alone and say "Don't go up my stairs. Ever."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

they will probably listen to you
lazy feckers, they'll be glad of the chance not to do it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Well that's what you'd think.
But I reckon they're perverts. And stubborn ones at that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

who would become a windowcleaner
if they weren't a perv?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

This is true.
Same as butchers.
I expounded my theory on butchers as perves in front of one of the bf's friends the other week. After a while someone else on the table told me his dad was a butcher.
I said "Sorry about that, but they're just cutting us up into succulent rumps and shoulders while they're looking at us..."

EDIT my best mate at primary school, her dad was a windowcleaner and my mum wouldn't have him. He turned out to be a molesterererer.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

butchers are grim
there is a restaurant in london where your tables are sort of above the kitchen so you can see them chopping up the cuts of meat.

who would go there?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Me I would, I'd cut it up if I could
butchery is a fanastic skill to know
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Not vegetarians, clearly...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

They see us all as meat.
I've been getting better at touching raw meat but I don't think I want to. I've been touching sausages and bacon. Still can't touch chicken our red meat. I might stop again and go back to suing two forks to transport bacon to the grill.
Sorry. I know you hate meat, but I hate touching it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

i mind that less than eating it
but i wouldn't do it for fun
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I'd much rather eat it
when it's not all stringy and wet and like DEAD CORPSEY FLESH.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Someone on a first date
With someone who had been stalking them.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

This has cheered me up
As it reminds me that someone is having a worse morning than me.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)