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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so apparently Royal Mail have to shred 25 million letters a year because people are too stupid to put the right address on the envelopeApparently, something like 'Mr Davies, Manchester' isn't quite enough detail.
What's the most exciting thing you've ever sent / been sent in the mail?
Alt: food, or something?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:48,
142 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
My 15" black rubber cock.Alt: toasted crispy white pitta and humus.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:48,
Reply)
I have some blue shoe laces arriving TODAYto pop into my brogues, this will look better than it sounds.
Also i had a tree deliveed to work once.
ALT: Roast chicken with lemon and something hummus sandwich, Minestrone soup, some bread, some tangerines, a yogurt and maybe a packet of chipsticks
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:49,
Reply)
An original xBox for free!!Or 6 bottles of good red wine. A bottle of Baileys. Free stuff from suppliers
Alt:
Steak, red pepper and chilli sauce wholemeal wrap, beef Hula Hoops and a pint of water
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:52,
Reply)
won't your hula hoops get soggy if you pour on a glass of water?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:55,
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They would if I did, yesBut I didn't
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:00,
Reply)
I can't think of anything right now so I'll just tell you the most recent thing I received in the post which will be incredibly easy to make gay jokes out ofAn 8mm blue glass flesh tunnel
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)
The last thing I got in the postWas a 16mm black wooden flesh plug. Well, a pair of them to be exact.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:58,
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Show-offOuch! Body Jewellery? Am open to recommendations if you've found a decent online shop
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:01, Reply)
If you've worked out what I'm on about, please keep it to yourself!
If not, also fine.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:11, Reply)
I use Body Jeweller UK shop yeahBut also Arka, who are brilliant.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:02,
Reply)
www.arka-shop.co.uk/acatalog/index.html
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:03,
Reply)
Still feeling pretty crappyBut it's TUESDAY and it's SUNNY* and I done some writing I meant to do! How's youuu?
(*these actually have no bearing on my mood)
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Am liking the positivity, good workI actually feel remarkably upbeat for a Tuesday. Have a fun evening of gaming ahead which helps. I will almost certainly be drinking so apologies in advance. Just turn your phone off.
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This is correctI can't believe you have to ask, Bella. Am not drinking yet though, I meant to infer that I will be later
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)
I meant for me to start drinking.I have work at 5.30, but I want beer.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:15, Reply)
That's five hours away!Plenty of time to sober up to a sufficient level
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:19, Reply)
I only start that early during summer when we take a day offand don't go home until closing.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:18,
Reply)
I have a bit of a thing for amazingly tacky postcards and send them frequently to my Canadian bestie.He returns the favour with gusto.
I think a few lines written on the back of a picture shows more thought and care than a few lines in an email.
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:01,
Reply)
llllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssssssttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyy!How was the birthday mate?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:04,
Reply)
Quite possibly the best one ever.Though I have decided that Monty and my Dad should never be allowed to be in the same room again.
They are like a pair of pissed up naughty school boys when together.
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:08,
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Good good!Are you coming to Blousie's in May?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:10,
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Looks doubtful.I shall try though as it'd be lovely to be able to go.
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:13,
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And it'd be great to see you.If not I'll come to London in the summer and take you up on that offer of walkies.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:13,
Reply)
Hurrah!Monty got me The definitive walking guide to London for my birthday so I'll have a browse and find us some places to explore!
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16,
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Many people have said this to me,all of them have been women. I didn't understand it the first time and I still don't understand it now.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:04,
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you mean returning the favour with gusto?A lot of men don't get that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:06,
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Haha, well played.I don't understand why sending a letter in my crabbed, incomprehensible handwriting is any more thoughtful than nice, clear typed words. In fact, I feel I'm doing them a favour.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:08,
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Maybe it's because I like holding something in my hands for added reading enjoyment.I also don't have terrible handwriting and much prefer holding a pen to typing.
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wanderlust, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:10,
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If I ever have cause to send you a letter,I shall type it, print it out and mail it so that it takes two days rather than two minutes to reach you. How's that for a compromise?
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Kroney, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:12,
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i like sending and receiving proper cards/letters tooit makes a nice change to get something in the post that you actually want, unlike fucking bills and fucking wedding invites.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:14,
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I thought I was the only oneI have a fountain pen for writing letters. Improves my handwriting by 3000%. Makes it almost legible.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)
That'll be you off Roota and DJ's wedding list then(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16,
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flowersat work.
although i don't think this counts as mail.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:03,
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*taps fingers on desk*(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:04,
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this is probably truedo you know any good delivery guys?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:25,
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I don't think I've ever been sent anything *really* exciting.Just stuff I get excited about, like gig tickets and shoes.
Alt: I am having an inner debate between scrambled eggs on toast or fried eggs on toast.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Surely either involves using some kind of basic cooking apparatus?(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:06, Reply)
I'm thinking about poached eggs on toastwhy not do poached?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:06,
Reply)
Argh! Don't give me *more* choices!I've been known to put off eating for hours because I can't decide what to have.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:10, Reply)
Then do all 3!Eggy bread topped with scrambled egg and fried egg
This must win!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:11,
Reply)
Is it possible to overdose on eggs?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:14,
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I have triedbut failed. Eggs rock!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16,
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YesIf you eat too many your body turns into a massive egg. Then your hair grows back in a horrible shade of red and sprouts in unsightly amounts all over your upper lip. Upsides of this condition include a preternatural ability with advanced robotics. Downsides are uncontrollable megalomania and a speedy blue hedgehog for a nemesis.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:17, Reply)
I'd love to have a nemesisSo far the only person intent on doing me physical harm is myself.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:18,
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I'd be happy to volunteerBut I'm generally either very busy or utterly apathetic. Plus you live about as far away from me as is possible whilst being in the same country, and I like you.
Nonetheless, grrrrrrr *shakes fist*
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:21, Reply)
Curse you, Darth Foxtrot!I'll make you paaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:22,
Reply)
MwahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA*laugh echoes through fabulously-decorated hollowed-out volcano lair*
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:23, Reply)
I think it would :)But it sounds like a lot of effort.
*flips coin*
Fried.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Good thank you, although I may have misjudged the remaining signs of life in this thread whilst starting a new oneYou?
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Okay thanksbit tired as usual. Turns out I forgot to submit a form with my thesis :(
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:50,
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Apparantly they doboth me and the administrator were sure it was in the envelope but apparantly not.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:56,
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Send them a new onewith "this form will self-destruct in five seconds" written along the bottom
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)
I got a free pair of £150 bootsdue to some outrageous incompetence on the part of the courier and some outrageous cheek on the part of me.
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Don't sweat itI sent an old, shitty Blackberry off to one of those recycling websites (a smaller one) and was told the trackball was broken and I'd get £23 quid instead of £36.
I ended up being sent two cheques for £36 :D
(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:13, Reply)
An ex of mine got a pair of Miu Miu shoes for freedue to Selfridges' incompetence once. About £300 they were.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:15,
Reply)
Many moons ago I ordered a £199 digital camera from AmazonI received the 4500 model instead of the 3500, however. Which would have cost £299. Score!
It lasted about 8 months and then broke, and I couldn't bring myself to use the warranty.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:23,
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Baggsy four grands worth of granite top, delivery driver forgot to remove ittwat
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:30,
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A large and stinking parcel of marijuana from Switzerland,many years ago. A Swiss friend asked me if I minded taking in a parcel from his mum on his behalf. Of course not, I said.
His mum grows wonderful weed, but is not very good at sealing parcels.
I taxed half of it for stitching me up.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:14,
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But their destination was Switzerland.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:23,
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I choose to believe that their journey was unsuccessful because they decided the best way to slip unnoticed over the border was to sing the whole fucking way(, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)
Doctors can do amazing things to help, these days.No need to suffer from 'basketball hoop' alone.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16,
Reply)
A valentines day card.........from a monkey.Honey roast salmon flakes on rye bread.
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girlinthehole, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:16,
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Watch out for that monkey, I hear he's well into fisting.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:20,
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if you're into fisting animalsyou could become a zoo vet.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:23,
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A few years back, I ordered the missus an Anne Summers corset set she wantedI was pretty excited for when that arrived.
Alt: Super noodles.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:24,
Reply)
Among the many strange and exciting things receive by post (and this includes a gag that smelt of turps)the strangest and best would probably be a worn, unwashed t-shirt, sealed in a plastic bag.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:27,
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I have something on my desk at the moment that will soon(ish) be heading your wayIt's not very exciting though.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:28,
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Oooooooh! To what do I owe the pleasure?Would you mind sending it to my work address? Our postal depot is on Mars. Actual Mars.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:30,
Reply)
Actually the presentthat berk and Lampito sent me was pretty exciting, because I had no idea what was in it. Apart from that, maybe my acceptance letter to uni or the time my parents sent me cash to save me from starvation. All good things.
Alt: trashy food. I have two pepperamis, two packets of nik-naks and a diet coke
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:27,
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Whatever happened to scampi flavoured nik naks :(((
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:39,
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Stop tarring me with the b3ta fatbrushI've left the house today and everything
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:44,
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They weren't even the best ones(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:44,
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They were at rorytowersSCAMPI FLAVOUR FOREVER MISSED
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:46,
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In the company of lime flavoured Calippo Only the good die young
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:50,
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Oh fuck yes CalipposI want one now. Or a minimilk.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:52,
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I want a minimilkthe vanilla ones were the best
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:53,
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I need helpI buy Calippos by the box from cash and carry. No fucking around here.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:53,
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I want a cash and carry card :((
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:56,
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You are my hero.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:57,
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I love Calippos.You can bite them through the cardboard cylinder thus saving your teeth from the freezing cold ice.
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girlinthehole, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 13:03,
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I NO RITE?They've replaced them with those fucking minging pickled onion jobs.
No longer is a NikNak multipack the highlight of my grocery shopping. Bastards.
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Kroney, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:45,
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Golden Wonder must be made pay !11!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:48,
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even grammar will be abandonedin protest
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:50,
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My old best friend and I used to write each other lettersIt'd be well exciting to receive them. And birthday presents, obviously.
Alt: I have golden syrup cake downstairs.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:31,
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receiving proper letters is greati dont know when i last received something handwritten that i wanted...n normally junk and bills
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zulu eh?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:35,
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My NIN Ghosts I-IV collectors editionAlt: Just had a kofta meatball bagel with salad, but would have settled for the sweet release after pressing a .45 to my temple.
Melodramatic, yes, but work is dragging on and being exceptionally boring, plus the news article saying that inflation is now up to 4.4% reminds me I need to job hunt.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:32,
Reply)
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