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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Like a while ago, but not
A brave new thread, kids, because the future beckons.

Let me tell you in no uncertain terms that my rum life in the bus world will shortly be behind me.

Self employment rolls before me as an endless vista for fleecing the feckless.

And I say unto ye - cop that, mongys.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:08, 138 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
freelance bus driver?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:12, Reply)
As a short term measure, yes
But that will keep the bills paid whilst I launch my rather more grandiose plan of being an Inventory Provider.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:19, Reply)
You'll be a man who gives people lists.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I will
But GOOD lists - the like of which have never before been seen.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Is that a demand for contractors in this field?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Yes
More to the point, there is round here.

Done all the market research, happy there's a market, finish work on April 21st, launch June 1st.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Fantastic.
What does inventory providing mean, in laymans terms? What sort of companies require such a person.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Basics
You rent a property, you pay a deposit.

You give up the property, you want the deposit back.

Prior to you renting someone comes in, checks the property from top to bottom and lists what they find.

When you move out, someone comes in and checks against the original list.

I'm going to be the someone.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Nice.
So you'll be like the Magnum PI of the property world.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:40, Reply)
I don't have a moustache
If I have a moustache I look like Mike Harding and that's not good.

I don't have a Ferrarri. I have a Citroen C5 and a Suzuki Vitara.

Apart from that you're spot on.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:45, Reply)
I'll try and get in touch with a mate of mine next week.
He either still has (or did have) a company that provided resources for Landlords who didn't want to use letting agents.

If he is still working in this space, then he might be a useful contact to have.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:49, Reply)
Cheers
That's sort of the market I'm going for.

I'm mortgage free at the end of this year. I can pick up driving work if I need to but that'll be a supplement, rather than the main income.

Think I'm sorted.

Sheridan Landlord Services. Getting the website done next week.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:03, Reply)
I'll try and get in touch with him and if he is able to help, I'll put you in touch.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Citroen Sinclair
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:05, Reply)
You're in the right place for it, especially if you corner the LS6 market.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Going straight to the top
Adel, Tinshill, Horsforth, Calverley, Baildon, Saltaire.

No money in LS3 or LS6 - already full of chancers.

I'll be doing Spen Valley because the money is right at the moment. Morley too. Really building up on rentals.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:06, Reply)
If you start doing Morley properties, wear shoes/boots with thick soles.
You don't want to step on any old heroin needles.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:14, Reply)
Is he in the property game now?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:17, Reply)
Morley is getting better
That stuff is moving back to Beeston and Ardesley again.

Not my choice of market - I'd be in Otley/Menston/Guiseley/Bramhope all day long if I could but that market is stitched up.

Realistically the money will come from Saltaire and Bingley. As above, I think there's a market and I'm one of the best salesmen I've ever met.

Bedtime - bank manager tomorrow!
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:37, Reply)
Are you the one who is also a struggling alcoholic?
I wouldn't fancy getting on your bus, no offence.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Err, no
I know the boy you're thinking of.

Try to keep up there, lad.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:25, Reply)

You're on the wagon bus.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I dunno there's a few, isn't there a train driver here who likes the odd drink or fifteen?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Noel's best friend!

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)
I don't know if I want him caught one day, or for him to total an intercity train along with hundreds of lives, decisions decisions

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:31, Reply)
If he kicks off whilst being detained he could be accused of causing an (Ocean Colour) scene.
The day we caught the (drunk) train (driver).
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:51, Reply)
No, that's me you're thinking of.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:31, Reply)
See that struggling alcoholic?
That's you, that is.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:40, Reply)
ooh, good luck

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:36, Reply)

good luck Stick you. Your momma too. And your Daddy.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:38, Reply)
what?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:54, Reply)
You're back early from your date.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:55, Reply)
we have an exam tomorrow.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:56, Reply)
So she didn't want to get extra curricular with you this evening.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 21:58, Reply)
that's a rather large assumption Jeffers... there was a little action and I am seeing her tomorrow.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:00, Reply)
yay

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:04, Reply)
evenin matey, how was your weekend? After all this Okcupid crap
I am dicking around with a girl off my course!
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:05, Reply)
That's pretty cool, then, much more convenient
larping yesterday, nice pleasant day today, melancholy about now - watching DOnnie Darko didn't help. And I've (possibly irrationally) convinced myself that the cool guy off of OKC is no longer interested. I have little to base the assumption on, I am just a pessimist (or realist, perhaps?)
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:11, Reply)
Nice to be pessismistic and proved wrong than the other way round.
Did you get your LARP on? Donnie Darko is pap too, I could never get into it.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:16, Reply)
yeah, but I was being unreasonably optimistic before :(
larping was just yesterday, got to be a demon, a crone and a zombie.
I like DD, mainly because I like time travel and melancholy
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:18, Reply)
I get that from Bernards Watch.
I assume there are slim pickings in the larping fraternity?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:20, Reply)
*googles* haha
everyone knows everyone. Also, they are larpers :)
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)
I like Donnie Darko too
I have the director's cut which makes a lot more sense, but that somehow makes it less fun.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)
Evening berk.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:31, Reply)
Evening Jeff.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:31, Reply)
Ow biss?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:33, Reply)
Meh, alright
and you?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:38, Reply)
get things sorted with TC?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:40, Reply)
Mmm, possibly
ended up seeing him last night and things seemed alright, but I haven't really heard from him today.
In essence I still have no fucking idea.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:46, Reply)
Bugger
I hope things sort themselves out. Mind you I guess some people don't feel the need to be in contact every day
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:48, Reply)
Cheers love
I wouldn't mind so much, but he did used to text back almost straight away, it's only the latter half of this past week that he doesn't. Hence my thinking he was losing interest, and the stupid misunderstanding we had.
Sad. Fucking. Times.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:56, Reply)
I'm good thanks.
Why so 'meh' not further TC issues I hope?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:41, Reply)
See above
I am trying desperately to be all cool and giving him space and stuff, when I want him to come round here NOW so I can jump on him. But it's bad to be clingy and he didn't reply to my last text, so I feel like if I text him now I will be pestering.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:47, Reply)
Be cool berk.
Be cool.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:49, Reply)
I'm trying
I really am. I was incredibly clingy when I was younger, but I have seriously behaved myself in that regard thus far. Doesn't stop me practically twitching with surpressed lust and impatience when I don't hear from him though.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:54, Reply)
Join us down the bottom of the page.
We'll take your mind off things.

The thing is though, if you've texted and he has yet to text back, sending another message will look a bit needy.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:55, Reply)
Exactly
which is why I haven't.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:57, Reply)
You've been wise berk.
You've been wise.

Tomorrow however, is a new day and a chance for you to send a mid-morning 'hi ya' without looking needy.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:59, Reply)
See, it annoys me that this kind of tactic works on me
I absolutely convince myself that I will not text him until I've heard back from him. Yet I want to hear back from him so badly that eventually I'll send him another text to prompt him. He should bloody text first once in a while, but men - all men - seem to know that this works. Bastards.
I'm going to hold out for as long as humanly fucking possible.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:04, Reply)
It might not be a tactic though.
He might just be busy.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:07, Reply)
He doesn't work sunday evenings.
and that's no excuse, it doesn't take but a minute to send the occasional text!
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:11, Reply)
I thought it made sense anyway
but there again I may have read too many time travel stories
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:34, Reply)

action penis

Evening Bobby - how's you?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:06, Reply)
micropenis lols.
Grand thanks b3th, had a tip top weekend to be fair. And yourself?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Not bad
Just taking part in the pub quiz right now! Good job nobody thinks I'm cheating...

In other news, is it true you're the one to talk to about recruitment advice?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:11, Reply)
oooh!
the answer is 'sculpture'!
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:12, Reply)
Wrong.
The answer was 'Borscht'
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:13, Reply)
damn, I knew that

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:13, Reply)
well, you didn't SAY it!
that's what counts. That and my fingers...
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:14, Reply)
Quizzes are fun,
yeah I used to be in that game. How can I be of assistance?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:14, Reply)
I have no career, and I want one
I don't know what, specifically, I want to do, but I know I want to do something creative.

If I walk into an employment agency with that, will I get laughed out of the building?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:17, Reply)
ummmm possibly.
Gaz me with some details or email me your CV and we will work something out.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:21, Reply)

andy.cussen Benny.On.The.Loose@
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:23, Reply)
oooo
thank you.

I was told the other week that my CV is woefully out of date in terms of content and layout, so that will need a lot of work. However, any help will be gratefully appreciated. Do you want to gaz me that email and take it off this rather public page?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:23, Reply)
yeah no worries, have deleted it now, will gaz it to you.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)
You might want to kick Jeff in the nuts until he deletes it too...

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:44, Reply)
That's a bit harsh.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:45, Reply)
I'm a hard woman, Jeff

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:50, Reply)
I suppose you need to be living in W-S-M

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:51, Reply)
if you're not a crack whore, you do.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:53, Reply)
If I say 'Bob is the man to speak to' then Bob is the man to speak to
(I note you ignored my link to Aardman the other day. Consider that a black mark).
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:15, Reply)
tell me what SKILL stands for.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:16, Reply)
There are a number of variations on the SKILL insult.
If you, as a child, were asked if you were 'skill' (and back in the 70s, if you did something awesome, you'd probably describe yourself as being 'skill') you answered 'yes'

You'd either be accused of having African Bum Disease, or being 'the Skillest Kid in Lezzie Land'

Further regional adjustments on this theme can be found here.

www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=645
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:22, Reply)
I prefer spastic kid in lesbo land.

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:23, Reply)
+ s

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)
There was something similar when I was a lad (and very likely before then).
Q: Do you know your ABCs?

Response if you say "No": Haha, you can't read, you're a big fat spastic.
Response if you say "Yes": Haha, ABC stands for African Bum Cleaner.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:26, Reply)
^ This.
Relive the law of the playground here.

www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?a
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:27, Reply)
We had, can you spell HIV? are you positive,
hahahahah you have aids
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:29, Reply)
You probably won't remember Saint and Greavise
But this just made me laugh.

www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=2587
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:30, Reply)
Some of those make me cry with laughter
www.playgroundlaw.com/cgi-bin/browse.pl?sid=468
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:01, Reply)
I never fucking did!
I went and looked at it and everything. sorry I didn't fall at your feet in gratitude ; )

EDIT: now be nice or I'll never introduce you to my dog.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:18, Reply)
More cheese Grommit?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:22, Reply)
ed milliband lolz

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)
Alright all
I'm sneezing in time to music apparantly
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:31, Reply)
Runny nose?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:32, Reply)
No I suspect allergies

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:40, Reply)
I know you've mentioned food stuffs you're sensitive to, what else sets you off?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:41, Reply)
proximity to large penises
or is that just me?

I'm now home from the quiz.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:46, Reply)
Did you win?
No? thought not.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:50, Reply)
We came joint first
The sad thing is, me and mr b3th have been consistently winning that quiz every Sunday for the last three or four years. Then this new team (also just two people) arrived a few weeks ago, and they've been beating us every week. This week it was a draw. We would have won if I had listened to mr b3th, who does occasionally know stuff.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:52, Reply)
No tie-break question?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:54, Reply)
Not usually
We pay 50p a head to take part, and the money is divvied up for prizes. But everyone who takes part always gives their winnings to the nominated pub charity, which is the local children's ward at the hospital, so there really isn't any point in tie breaks.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:56, Reply)
Children's ward.
Or the 'Weston-Super-Mare Incest Centre' to use the official name.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:58, Reply)
Otherwise known as
round our gaff.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:59, Reply)
Do they still have the donkey's on the beach at WSM?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:01, Reply)
Pass
Possibly, during the summer. We still have all those fibreglass ones from last summer.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:02, Reply)
What happened last summer?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:03, Reply)
They dotted fibreglass painted donkeys all round Weston and parts of Bristol
Each one was named and sponsored by a local company. The one at the Airport was called George, and he wore a straw hat.

Has everyone else gone, Jeff? Is it just me and you (and a dog named Boo)?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:07, Reply)
I'm still about
probably bed soon though.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:08, Reply)
ello darlin'
Is it worth asking?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:09, Reply)
Ugh, it's all up there ^
bit of a fiasco at the minute.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:10, Reply)
You've turned complex human relationships
Into a broken cash machine.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:12, Reply)
pah
men. They're all bloody children.

Do you know, I once accused mr b3th of havingthe emotional maturity of an eight year old, and to prove me wrong, he got huffy and didn't talk to me for two days.

I ask you...
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:15, Reply)
Ahahahaha
oh I'm sorry, but that really made me laugh. I completely agree with you!
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:16, Reply)
Berk is around somewhere too.
Right. Tell me more about what career plans you have.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:08, Reply)
I don't know.
I'd like to do something involving the sort of stuff I twat about doing on b3ta anyway. Design (though I have no practical experience and no qualifications in that area), copywriting (ditto), event planning, ...

I guess anything you have to get and do every day as work gets tedious after a while, but I'd like to do something I enjoy, rather than something that I just tolerate because I have a natural talent for (cf. customer service)
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:12, Reply)
Portfolio.
Get a website sorted (Crunchy has one for her photos for example) so at least if the opportunity comes up to sell yourself to a potential employer, you'll have something to show them.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:14, Reply)
That's not a bad idea.
Well done.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:16, Reply)
Don't take that tone with me!
I'll have you know that I'm FULL of good ideas. FULL OF THEM I TELLS YA.
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:19, Reply)
I used not to be
but I seem increasingly sneezy around plants and animals so maybe my resistence is lowering. Apart from that, some ingredients in soaps/shower gels especially from heavily scented places like Lush
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:47, Reply)
So you'd not much fancy a career bathing animals at a botanical zoo?

(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 22:50, Reply)
I'm moving down here because I can't read all those tall posts.
Who's with me?
(, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 23:17, Reply)
me.
I just got back from a lecture.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:19, Reply)
And I've just woken up from a nap.
Good study time?
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:20, Reply)
oh yeah just dandy.
especially after being woken up at 3:45 by noisy people again.
But I'm reading some dawkins at the moment so it's not alllll bad.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:21, Reply)
Did you make applications to study overseas in the end?

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:25, Reply)
they've not even opened yet.
there's some info sessions I need to go to first before I can apply for anything too.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:26, Reply)
How soon after applying would you be able to move?

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:35, Reply)
no idea. all ifs and buts and maybes at this point.

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:45, Reply)
Well if a placement is available, I hope you get it.
What would be the dream move? (Sorry, I've got no idea what you're a student in).
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:51, Reply)
thank you, I appreciate it.
I'm a student in biomedical science, so I'd ideally like to work in a hospital or at a pathology lab.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 1:52, Reply)
i am reading a naomi klein thing now,
how about that for liberal hokum eh readers
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:26, Reply)
I don;t know who Naomi Klein is.

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:26, Reply)
she did "no logo" as well,
this one is called the shock doctrine, they are both very good as far as my brain can tell.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:28, Reply)
I"ve heard of the Shock Doctrine.
so I'm sure I'll find a copy to read somewhere.
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:30, Reply)
i am very clever because i read books

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:38, Reply)
it was bloody noam chomski before that i think i'm getting into my noams

(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:27, Reply)
yeh why not, i can't be bothered to read most stuff i'm well lazy
hows it going
(, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 0:20, Reply)

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