ok so my friend
has been flirting with this guy she met online (match i think). a few weeks have gone by with many emails, texts, phone calls and facebook messages. they had arranged to meet up tonight.

so yesterday afternoon she texted to check where they were meeting. nothing. texted again in the evening. nothing. one last time at night. NOTHING. and she has heard precisely nothing since, despite the fact that she can see he has been on fb and match.....

why? why would anybody be this rude? how hard could it be to meet up for one drink?!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:01, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello RS
Sounds like he has gone off her but doesn't have the nuts to tell her.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:03, Reply)

but how can he have gone off her when he hasn't met her??
i suspect he met someone else last night.

but it's online dating. she would understand that. she can't understand silence.

what a total sweaty clotty gash!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Yes, it's very impressive.
Now shut your legs and get the tea on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Horrible boy.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Yes, sir?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:31, Reply)

You may be correct
Perhaps more than one woman turned up expecting an internet date...and he went and introduced himself to the wrong one. _{And possibly didn't twig even when this other woman's intended date turned up, resulting in some initial awkwardness but eventually a fairly successful spitroast.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

You should write for Razzle.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Swipey, you've met men, right?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:03, Reply)

apparently, all of the worst ones
how she does it, god only knows. It's like she's some kind of wanker magnet and yet again, the band name generator strikes. Ladies and gentlemen, headlining the NME stage tonight, it's Wanker Magnet!
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Effectively the male version of Monster Magnet
fatchicklols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:07, Reply)

in my defence
this really is my friend, not "my friend".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:13, Reply)

My original point stands
Although it's unfortunate that your friend has the same luck with men as you. Or, you exist in a part of London populated entirely by dickheads
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

She also exists in a part of London
populated entirely by the super rich.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:22, Reply)

If there's one thing I've learnt from The Apprentice
it's that being moneyed, and going in relentless pursuit of more, absolutely does not make one a complete tosser. No sir.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:28, Reply)

If there's one thing I've learnt from The Apprentice
it's that it's completely fucking shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:30, Reply)

*jaw drops*
You... don't like something to do with popular culture?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Exactly, look at Alan Sugar
What a nice bloke, definitely not completely up his own arse and deserving of a brick to the face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:31, Reply)

You would say that
You're a Gooner.

You're still right though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I would love to go on there and bring up the Amstrad e-Mailer. REPEATEDLY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I imagine he has an army of arselicking goons* to remove people like you from his sight
I would thoroughly enjoy watching his face work through various shades of puce in the face of this, however

*failed contestants
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:41, Reply)

*black people from Ghana

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)

As opposed to the other coloured people from Ghana?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)

^^this
/bitter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:08, Reply)

You've met men.
It's just that they were all dressed as Robin Hood.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:09, Reply)

We've all been there
It's a rite of passage back home
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:12, Reply)

some friends had a wedding in the Robin Hood Experience
There was a Robin Hood there who did some act or other which, I imagine, usual wedding guests ignore or are pretty reticent in joining in with. He was quite taken aback when 40 larpers not only were enthusiastic but joined in stuff.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

OK, I'm from Nottingham,
and even I think getting married in the Robin Hood Experience is ludicrous. The Brian Clough Experience would be fine
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Drunken behaviour and a homosexual liason with your assistant?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Slur my name all you like (which I automatically assumed you were, once I spotted the word "homosexual")
but I will hear nought against The Greatest Football Manager Of All Time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Great manager indeed.
And even if he was bollock deep in Taylor it matters not one whit.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

That sounds fucking horrendous.
1) 'had a wedding in the Robin Hood Experience'
2) 'There was a Robin Hood there who did some act or other '
3) '40 larpers not only were enthusiastic but joined in stuff'


That is my idea of hell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)

even when someone gets out a guitar
and starts singing songs about shagging corpses?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)

4. 'someone gets out a guitar and starts singing songs'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Paul McCartney's latest single?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Seconded
the idea of joining in a group entertainment activity is my personal hell
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Some of them were dressed as wizards.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

most have long hair and wear leather trousers

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Most wizards do NOT wear leather trousers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)

that's what you think

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Monty must be a wizard
there is no way anyone like him could score with lusty unless magic was involved.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Oh there's a whole lot of magic alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

magic rohypnol

/ChompyLOLZ
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:21, Reply)

This isn't a dating site
o u
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:18, Reply)

hehe
leather trousers are optional, then
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)

So short hair is a deal-breaker?
Damn... *looks for photo of 19-year-old self*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Maybe he has got no legs.
That would make it quite hard.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

It makes me even more determined to try and get used to being single till I die.

( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I think it's less rude not wanting to meet up, more rude for leading her on and actually setting a date.
But perhaps her need to text him three times to ask the same question has set him off.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I reckon he's actually Berks ex-boyfriend

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

You mean 'Gunther the Grunter', the tennis coach from Dusseldorf?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:19, Reply)

The one with the tiny cock

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

She said it resembled a pea
Minute, spherical and green.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)

and ignored in favour of the carrot

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I don't think he's ex yet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Maybe not technically
but lets face it, it's all over bar the inevitable online crying.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:21, Reply)

From him or her?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)

From me, for having to hear about it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Well, we don't know him
but I imagine he will be doing some crying when she points out that, even though after a few tries he seems to know what to do with it, it's not very impressive, and a large number of people on the internet know this.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Shirly she didn't break that taboo?

( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:30, Reply)

About telling all of OT how small and ineffectual his penis is?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Yup!
Please tell me she didn't tell the internet until after she'd decided to break up with him.
( girlinthehole, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Honestly, I don't know for sure if she did or not
This was a month ago, or thereabouts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)

She told us all he had a little willy the first time she fucked him.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)

sometimes i hate being the last one in cause i always miss the good stuff

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Not yet
but if I was going to properly break up with someone for being as big a tosser as this guy is, I'd make sure I kicked them as hard I could.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:33, Reply)

This is just one reason why I'm staying single.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)

The other being your preposterous hair.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Preposterous though it may be
At least it's not white and thinning.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Mine isn't thinning, I'll have you know.
If it starts to, it's all coming off.

....AND THE HAIR!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:39, Reply)

It was a low blow, for which I apologise

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)

The other being your chins which get in the way of your penis
and render any attempt at coitus impossible.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I just fuck my chin clefts instead
It feels remarkably similar, so long as I remember to shave often.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:37, Reply)

aw did they actually break up then?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:21, Reply)

See above

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I know how this goes
There is at least one other woman in the picture. She should consider it a lucky get away.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Sometimes I hate being a bloke on dating sites.
It's always the guy who has to contact the girl, not the other way 'round... I've totally given up, haven't posted in a month because of girls who won't even reply 'thanks, no thanks, jog, loser'... at least it would be _some_ kind of human contact.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:33, Reply)

i've never used an online dating website
the only online guys i've met have been from THIS website.

and one from a really old chat site when i was 19.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I've emailed guys
often they don't reply either
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Aren't the girls MEANT to contact the boys first.
Crikey, I was doing it all wrong.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 15:22, Reply)