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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning people!
Its so windy here I think I my treat myself to a bus ride to work rather than cycling. What are you up to this morning? What are your opinions on AV and why? What are you having for lunch? What would you rather be having? Did you get laid this weekend? Did you get drunk?

alt.alt.alt.alt.alt.alt question. Amber! says they might bring the professionals to the big screen and on the same page saw the words Danger Mouse and thought how stupid it would be to make a live action remake of Danger Mouse. Any more stupid ideas for remakes? I promise not to sell the to Hollywoodland.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:21, 141 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
SPUNK BUBBLES

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:33, Reply)
I have been entirely persuaded to vote Yes to AV
by the straw men and outright lies from the No to AV campaign. I think we need a change; they can't muster a good argument against it; that's good enough for me.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:47, Reply)
what actually IS AV? I'm assuming it's not arterio-ventricular valves...

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:54, Reply)

www.yestofairervotes.org/pages/what-is-av
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:56, Reply)
OH.
we have that here. I had to number everybody in order of preference.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:57, Reply)
Only the proposal for our system is that you don't have to rank every candidate
so there will be less spoiled ballot papers.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 7:59, Reply)
Well I think that's great.
Means that you have MP's that actually try to get stuff done so they can retain their seats instead of sitting back on their arses just saying their lines every election.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:01, Reply)
If that happens, I'll eat your hat that's now my hat.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:06, Reply)
No Poppet
it's a terrible idea, it means that extremists get to decide who your MP is, it means the end of one person, on vote, the cornerstone of our democracy, it means that Nick Clegg will break every promise your MP makes, and finally, Australia has a version of the Alternative Vote and they don't like it, so therefore AV is a terrible, terrible idea.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:06, Reply)
Mate you're only saying that to disagree with me.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)
No, I'm only saying that because that is the extent of the rather stupid alarmist lies that are being touted by the "No" campaign.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Really??
Those are their arguments?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)
They have also stated that if we change to a new voting system
Babies will die, and soldiers will no longer be equipped with body armour.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Australia is one of the countries that has AV.
So tell us whether it works for you or not.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:06, Reply)
I should point out, again, that their version of AV is not the same as the version we would get if we vote yes.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:08, Reply)
Sorry teacher.
I would like to point out that I didn't see your first reply until I hit the reply button.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:10, Reply)
well I like what we have.
I think it's fairer, because we don't have to worry about "tactics". We just rank them in preference and those preferences are tallied. Everybody gets a say.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Morning children
I'm back at work after 4 glorious days off at the homestead. I actually don't mind my job but have only been here 5 minutes and am already fed up of hearing people complain about being back here, etc. The tedious anecdotes about weekends are yet to come. Joy.

I'm all in favour of AV and have been for years, and as TLiC says even if I was of no opinion at all, the bullshit fabricated to argue against it would be enough to persuade any right-thinking person to vote for. Sadly I fear the right-thinking people of Britain will be massively outnumbered by the rest of the population come Thursday.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:09, Reply)
Good morning.
This barrage of questions reads like a bipolar person on an 'up' day.

Calm down, PhillipJoseph.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:22, Reply)
No matter what the results of the AV referendum:
a) the civil service that actually runs the country will be the same
b) the population of Britian will be the same
c) the two and a half parties than more than just a few people give a toss about will be the same
d) the tax income and budgets will be the same

IT WILL BE THE SAME.

cf 'wow! A Labour govt has got in!!!! It's going to change here!!!'
also 'The Lib Dems are getting a share of power!! It's going to change here!!!!' et cetera, ad nauseum.

Yawn yawn yawnity yawn.

*scratches bollocks*
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:28, Reply)
This is your reasoning behind not being arsed to vote, presumably
Before Al says it

Morning Monty. Good weekend?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:30, Reply)
Alright?
My back has been fucked for two days. I am in a great deal of pain. But I did have a very pleasant weekend and trust you did too.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:32, Reply)
I did indeed, thank you
Saw the mighty Reds win 5-1, which I appreciate is of no interest whatsoever to you, and took the better half to see Avenue Q, which probably isn't either but am mentioning anyway because it's fucking funny, and you might like it.

What's up with your back sir? All the X finally catching up with you?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:36, Reply)
This was the funniest thing I've seen on facebook for a long, long time.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:45, Reply)
Hahaha nice work there.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:45, Reply)
Yeah, I can't see that. Work firewall.
Do I want to?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Yes, yes you really, really do.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Could you elaborate slightly on the content?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:49, Reply)
It's your facebook status from Saturday night
but with your photo anonomised, followed by the comment of your friend who expressed amazement at your love of musical theatre, with their name and photo also airbrushed to preserve privacy.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Oh THAT
In all fairness, that really made me laugh at the time. Ironically, even though it's not his name, everyone knows the poster as "Al"
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:52, Reply)
Hahahahahahahahha

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)
I've had a bad back on and off for some years.
I really could use a new bed and mattress, however seeing as I cannot afford even a new pillowcase...
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:46, Reply)
I'd like to feel sympathy
but I just can't be bothered to give a shit about you at all.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)
That seems fair to me.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:50, Reply)
At the risk of stating the bloody obvious
Go and see a fucking chiropractor
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:50, Reply)
He would
but no Chiropractor has ever changed anything and therefore it's not worth the bother of going.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:51, Reply)
If I see anyone it'll be an osteopath.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:52, Reply)
I'm seeing an osteopath on Friday
Tell me exactly where it hurts and I'll pretend I'm having the same problem
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:54, Reply)
Hahaha thanks, really appreciate it.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:57, Reply)
I'm going to need slightly more detail than that
"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"Err... not sure really, I'm nearly 40 and I took a fuckload of ecstasy in the 90's... is that bad?"
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Just tell them it hurts - tell them it's your back.
By the way the old 'ecstasy damages your spine' yarn is unproven, and by now you'd imagine there's be quite a few people in quite a lot of trouble if it were true.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Like the Monty Python "Brain Doctor" sketch
but with "back" instead of "brain"?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:04, Reply)
I actually cannot recall having seen the sketch in question.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Well that has completely buggered what could have been a vaguely amusing rejoinder, hasn't it

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
that shit about it causing loss of spinal fluid?
yeah, and it makes your balls drop off, too. Honest.

MDMA is a fuck sight safer than most things. Like anything else, a combinantion of occasional individual user stupidity and massive Daily Mail scare stories spreads fear.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)
That's a relief
*downs pills, reaches for the lasers*
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Yeah! I thought I was going to die once after ingesting far too much MDMA.
But the best thing was I didn't care.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)
haha.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I hope my real demise is akin to how that felt.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)
You'd be a fuck sight better going to see an actual trained medical practitioner.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Osteopaths are trained
and licensed, it's chiropractors that aren't. But both can be perfectly good at helping you.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)
They are not trained medically.
they are trained in osteopathy, the validity of which there is almost no scientific evidence to back up.

I'm not saying they might not help. I'm saying I'd rather see someone who doesn't believe in some woo theory of body oneness.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)
That's Chiropractors
or at least, some Chiropractors, mine believes in getting your spine straight and your muscles working properly, but some believe in body one-ness.

If you have a bad back because of shitty posture and bad working practive, which I would guess is the most likely reason for Monty's pain, then relieving the pain by putting his back right would only be the first step, Monty would have to stop slouching in his chair to actualy fix the problem long term.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)
No it most certainly is not.
Osteopaths believe in the validity of, and use, amongst other things, craniosacral therapy. Perhaps you'd care to google that and come back to me, sir?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I don't really care to be honest
my views on osteopathy are akin to Monty's views on anything which might require him to engage his brain.

My main issue is that when I went to see the Doctor about my knee he poked it and sent me for a CAT scan, when the results came back he said there was nothing wrong with me knee and it would get better. After two months I still couldn't straighten it properly. I went to see my Chiropractor and he popped it back into place. A week later I could run on it.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)
I'd still start with a phsysiotherapist before resorting to a woo merchant, personally
but I agree, if it works then it works. It just happens to be a major bugbear of mine that use of greek words and some level of regulation somehow conveys medical respectability in some of these areas
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I only went to this guy
because he was recommended by a friend, I wouldn't just pick a one out of the phone book.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Oh, for sure.
I mean, these people are basically extended massage therapists but if the stuff they did didn't work they wouldn't get repeat business. It's people that rely on them that worry me as they've got no medical background so are likely to miss something medically dangerous while they are busy aligning your chakras or whatever
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)
physiotherapists are good.
I've finally had someone tell me what was wrong with my hip and I can now do something about it thanks to my physio. She gave me exercises to do which've really helped.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)
This is what I'd been led to believe.
Osteo = real medical people
Chiro = hippy cunts

I don't know what to think now...
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Won't your doctor recommend anyone?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Just because osteo is Greek for bone doesn't actually mean they are medically trained.
They are regulated, yes, and they have to have degrees in Osteopathy. You can have a degree in homeopathy, too, and that's a greek word as well.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
So's 'paedophile'.
EH? EH?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)
....
....

you got me.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)
*folds arms smugly*

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)
This entirely matches my take on the whole of politics in this country.
*firm handshakes*
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:35, Reply)
I hope he has washed his hands after scratching his bollocks.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:37, Reply)
I don't.
*sniffs fingers*
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:38, Reply)
A hint of smoked bavarian?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:40, Reply)
Cut with anal musk.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:41, Reply)
That Jean Paul Gaultier has a lot to answer for.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:43, Reply)
I'm more of a John Galliano man, myself.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Anyone who feels otherwise is naive to the point of my feeling somewhat embarrassed for them.
*returns firm handshake accompanied by a knowing nod*
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:37, Reply)
I wouldn't go as far as "embarrassed" - perhaps mild pity.
How's your shit today?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:40, Reply)
I might go home and lie on the floor.
Ow ow ow ow ow.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)
alright you bummosexuals?
I am wearing my best suit today, but without a tie. The shirt I'm wearing requires a deep pink tie, but I can't find one the correct shade.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:46, Reply)
If I'd said this everyone would call me a massive gay
I shall extend the hand of sympathy by asking what colour the shirt is
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Is "lifted" a colour?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:50, Reply)
mainly blue.
With stripes of lime green, white, maroon and deep pink. Paul Smith style, but by Ted Baker. I am wearing Paul Smith cufflinks with it.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:51, Reply)
Tricky
I have to agree with your original assessment. The right purple might go with it as long as it's not too close to the maroon.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:53, Reply)
The blue is too light to carry off a purple tie.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:55, Reply)
Bugger
Where have you tried so far in your quest for this elusive pink tie?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:00, Reply)
high street and Paul Smith.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)
I know this is going to sound a bit pikey
But I've always found Next's range of ties to be surprisingly good. And no-one can see the label on the back!
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)
3/4 of my wardrobe consist of next clothing.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:04, Reply)
Really? Mine's made entirely of steel.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Recycling innit

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:09, Reply)
I agree, their suits are shit but their ties are alright.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
maybe you could try Debenhams too?
I got my brother two really nice ties for his 18th from there.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)
try TM Lewin and Pink.
If you've got them nearby.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
I was just trolling google images to find a picture of the gayest man I could possibly find wearing a pink tie
and failed, so have this instead.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 8:52, Reply)
I've had a lovely four days off.
Drank too much, ate too much, got nothing done that I was going to do and met up with some RL friends that I keep forgetting how lovely they are.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Ralph Lauren friends?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
I'm jealous of her high societal ranking..

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)
More like Primark pals.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Christ alive, that's a few too many things for me to think about properly at this time in the morning!
a) Working, catching up with old emails.
b) I support it, because the anti-AV adverts are pathetic
c) Not a clue
d) A roast dinner
e) Does Friday count?
f) Yes, but not very

Alt: They're already doing the stupidest one I could have considered
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
They should remake the remake of the Wicker Man
but as a snuff film with 'Nic' Cage having his teeth pulled out with rusty pliers and then being forced to eat his own freshly-severed genitals.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Have you seen "Next"
It's the best Nic Cage film.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Is that the one where his character 'G to the Dizzle' buys a pink tie?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Haha!

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)
Nope even better than that,
"A Las Vegas magician who can see into the future is pursued by FBI agents seeking to use his abilities to prevent a nuclear terrorist attack."
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)
*cries*

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)
It's fucking excellent.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)
The bit at the end, when they shoot a machine gun at him
but he knows each time where the bullets are going to go, so despite apparently "dying" about a million times, he runs through the bullets to the gun and punches the bad guy.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
That bit and the way he chats up the woman is excellent.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)
I am really hoping that '13 Assassins' is good.
I've not looked forward to a film being released in years.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)
I watched Hero last night.
Beautiful film but the chinese language is not a beautiful language and spoiled it for me.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)
It's not even got Nic Cage in it.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)
You're right - how can it be any good?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Dunno, is it produced by Vin Diesal or something?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)
It's got Samurai in it.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Do they have helicopter gunships?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)
No, but THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY DEAD ALL ALONG!!!

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)
I bet none of them do the wide scary eyed thing that Nic Cage does.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Like so?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Spot on.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Yet
If it is any good, there'll be a piss-poor remake. Maybe that will star Nic Cage?!
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)
he knew you'd do that

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:20, Reply)
It's actually
worse than it sounds.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:20, Reply)
I declare this to be a scientific impossibility.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)
We got free chocolate wedding cake
to celebrate the Royal Wedding. Not all is bad about these two getting married, eh? Today should be a good day.

I think AV could be good, but I can't vote for it as I'm not registered in England anymore (I need to sort it out)

Lunch already? Chicken salad. I might buy a lasagna, though.

Of course I did, I'm married. I get laid every day.

I didn't get drunk as I'm trying to be good.

Too many questions, I have no ideas for remakes, sorry.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)
They're making a new big-screen version of The Sweeney
with Ray Winstone (obviously) so The Professionals is bound to be next. Then The Bill. Can't wait for that.

If they do Dangermouse it'll probably be a CGI character in a live-action setting. And unless it is phenomenally well-written, it will be awful
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Crumbs!

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
hola chicas!
I voted against AVP as the first two were rubbish
I have a headache after too much Doom bar in the sun.
I have quiche, a parma ham roll and a salad.
Minge
No
Yes

I'd like to see Saw the musical, starring Sydney Poitier and Max frtom Hollyoaks.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:15, Reply)
But Predators was quite a good film.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Yeah I really enjoyed it
Minimal amount of bullshit and lots of violence
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I cannot take Adrian Brody seriously as anything but a second world war Jew
espically in action films
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Who are you calling a 'chica' you fucking cunt?

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)
You, you flamenco dancing tranny cunt

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Oh. Right you are.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)
AvP had near perfect levels of stupidity in it, I feel
You knew it was going to be nothing but things either being shot, ripped apart, or blown up, so I think anyone disappointed that it did this is a fool for not expecting it. It's the same with The Expendables.
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)
AvP 2 was so bad I actually stopped watching it.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Oh christ, I agree with you there, that was fucking awful, one of the worst films I've ever seen.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)
The difference is that The Expendables had nothing to live up to
Alien, Aliens and to a lesser extent Predator are superb films, and AvP was a reminder of how far the franchise has fallen
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Exactly
Hello you big cock gobbling queen, how was Easter?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Hello mate, long time
Easter was triffic cheers. This Saturday just gone was bloody epic, took the missus to see Forest and they won 5-1. They always do well when she goes. It's like they're trying to impress her.

How've you been?
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)
The second one was so fucking eye-wrenchingly horrendous that I almost shat myself out of pure despair.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I agree.

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)
What a very specific thing to agree to
I'm never going to the cinema with you two
(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)
+again

(, Tue 3 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)

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