Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, what's going on for you this weekend, frunchie or not?Fucking frunchie, what the fuck? I'm gonna make JAM tonight, it's gonna be HOT. I'm gonna walk somewhere too, that's gonna be EXERCISE. I might drink some beer at some point, that's gonna be BOOZE. Please exercise your right to a Caps Lock key in your response.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 8:54,
195 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Like it's £19.99 (reduced from £24.99)(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
I'm going to watch a MOVIE,and I'm going to READ, and have a CUPPA and I'm gonna have a nice QUIET night.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)
I'm "croissanting" about my AWESOME homemade Thai green currythat was nommed last night. It was fucking GREAT....
This weekend I will be being sheared as I'm starting to look a bit "sheep".
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:05,
Reply)
I'm deliberately growing my hair out as long as I can.when I was wee I had ringlets halfway to my elbows.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)
I'm fairly confident you are a lady thoughRinglets to my elbows, not so good
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:08,
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I will be IGNORING all talk of football as our season ended last nightI will be DRINKING at a friend's birthday party tonight, hopefully DRINKING with another friend who's visiting this weekend then DRINKING my way through the horror of Eurovision tomorrow night.
This has nothing at all to do with the football.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Does the DRINKING have anything to do with not being able to score against TEN men?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:08,
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Rumplestiltskin?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:17,
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It always has, yesLast year we were confident our home form would carry us through and in 2007 we were going into a home leg with a 2-0 lead over fucking Yeovil. Nice to know we're fucked before we even get started for a change!
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Confidence is for supporters whose team doesn't have a lurid history of bottling it in the second leg of playoffsbut thank you for the positivity :-)
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I loved the lack of sympathy on your status last night(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:16,
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The Waaahmbulance was classic(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:18,
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Who was the other b3tan, beside Kristine and I?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:18,
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That mahogany motherfucker whose profile picture looks like he's been surprised by a fire alarmWould be Sportscow
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I do need to update that photo somewhat(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:42,
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Taken by my daughter just after our holiday to Portugal(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:54,
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Actuallyit was taken in our living room
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:22,
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Did Ireland get through last night?(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:10,
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HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0513/breaking5.html
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:11,
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They actually said "Go Team Jedward"I always associate referring to yourself in the 3rd person as a sign of mental illness.
Bless them.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)
playing a GIGwith my BAND.
I can't be ARSED.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:12,
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The slogans in the lavatories of the 'Yeovil Zyder Hut' categorically state otherwise.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:15,
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I have never been to Yeoviland it is in a different county
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:16,
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And yet your fame as a louche homosexual has reached even there.Truly you are a 'bummer for all seasons'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:20,
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you are also overlooking the fact that the denizens of Yeovilwith their malformed hand-claws couldn't grip a pen, even if they could write.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:23,
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He never said what it was written in I'm guessing POOP.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:47,
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UR 'Beats International' AICMFP(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:14,
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*high-fives*I did think that when I posted it.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:16,
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mmm mmm mmmmm mmmmmm m m m m mm mm m m mmmmm(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:19,
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Would you mind finishing noshing off that man before posting?Thanks.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:34,
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You fackin laaaarv it you saleeeeeg(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:38,
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^ This is perhaps your shittest post of all time, amidst some stiff competition.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:35,
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Two things1) I know, and I'm sorry, I can't pun at all
2) I can do worse. For example; hehe.. "stiff"
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:44, Reply)
I'm going to a BAVARIAN night in bedford.For BEER and OOMPAH music.
Later, there may be an opportunity to punch someone in the face.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:16,
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No, I'm staying at a friends house, and he is plagued by a moron next door.He comes round at night shouting and banging on the front door.
He will be rather suprised when I open the door and punch him.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:36,
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Of the first order.He has accused my mate's son of being a paedo. Shit sticks, and it is making their lives a misery. The police have had a word, but nothing has changed. If he comes round tonight, I'm going to flatten him.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:01,
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Not the best idea, surely?Regardless of who assaulted him, it happened at the house of someone he has accused of a crime?
Won't look good, I mean.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:02,
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I know it is not the best of plans, and I'm not looking forward to a night in the cells.Perhaps I should give him a verbal warning first.
Just me filling the door frame may be enough for a quiet night.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:06,
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I'm off to see the GIRLFRIEND tonightThen tomorrow it's my friend's BIRTHDAY, for which I intend on getting DRUNK.
It's all good.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:18,
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Oh MAN this weekend is BIG!! BLAOWWW!!!!Tonight I and my OG NIGGAH Yeti will be PUFFIN’ LYE, GETTING’ HIGH and SHOOTIN’ THA SHIT. It’s gonna be OFF THE HOOK.
Tomorrow will be spent recovering and then babysitting and then WHOOMP, THERE IT IS – my mother’s 60th birthday CANE-UP at my sister’s charming home in Hampshire.
Shit is gonna be WILD.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:19,
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Are you a member of the West Staines Massiv?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:23,
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the 'massiv staines' bit is correct(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:24,
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The back of my greying underpants rather suggests I am.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:28,
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I will be buying a tennis bat and tennis shoes (or "sneakers")with an optimistic view to playing actual TENNIS and shedding ROLLS OF FAT.
I think this kind of positive thinking gives me a free pass to a bacon and cheese roll from the food van this afternoon. Yes it does.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:19,
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Get me a cricket racket while you're there.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:24,
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TENNIS is SHITCRICKET is where it's at.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:25,
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It's not even a real sport(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:27,
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Fuck off Adam...Oh, sorry, my mistake!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:29,
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I climbed some stairs today which gives me carte blanche to get something nommy for dinner.(
girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:26,
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Get BEEF WELLINGTON with dauphinoise POTATOES(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:27,
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Correct.To be honest I'm going to have another stab at dieting ever so slightly which of course won't include booze.
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:31,
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Haha, oh Bill Clay, is really 'pun o'clock' already?How the time flies.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:30,
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It is always pun o'clock at b3ta towers(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:38,
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Getting another tattoo tomorrow at the Liverpool Tattoo Convention(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:26,
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It's ok, the artist isn't a scouser(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:28,
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Quite a metaphysical question there Or are you asking from a more sociological/psychological viewpoint, and thus want me to mark out how close I can get to her before she gets annoyed about the personal space invasion?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:30,
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I know (
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:40,
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Flower of life geometric background with a spiral in negative space on topAcross the tops of both feet. Hand poked by Goldilox.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:29,
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Yes it will hurtAll tattoos hurt to some degree, they are needles puncturing the skin many times over.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:31,
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I have just the one between my shoulder bladesAnd I quite enjoyed it. Gave me goosebumps.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Is it a pair of male unicorns fucking under a rainbow?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:34,
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I don't enjoy pain, and all my tattoos have hurt to one extent or anotherWorst was inside upper arm, by the arm pit, and inner elbow. Easiest was the back of my neck.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:34,
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His tattooes are awesome.I may use the word awesome a little too much nowadays but in this instance it is the correct word to use.
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:30,
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It is a deplorable malaise shared by many other B3tans.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:31,
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Why thank you!I do love your recent arm tattoo, they did a fantastic job of it!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:32,
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Totally coming up to see you soon :D(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:39,
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Rather attractive woman I know will be there tooI'd be tempted to go to see some of the artwork with her, if I could.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:30,
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I'll keep an eye out for any and all attractive women then(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:32,
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Red hair, tattoo of Jack Skellington on her stomach, if I remember correctly(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:34,
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Not the best, ayeBut I don't mind too much (Possibly NSFW, she's in lingerie)
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:43,
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Mate, I'll be busy trying to look tough and macho while a woman stabs my feet for hoursWomen like that, right? I mean, that's gonna get the laydeez queuing up, yeah?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:36,
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in other tattoo newsmy mate had one done at the nearest place to me and the guy did a fucking splendid job. Means I don't have to shift my arse very far when I get round to getting one.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:02,
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I'm going to the GYM this eveningbut first I must stop off at my brothers and feed his CATS for he is in PORTUGAL the bastard.
But before even that I must stop at the POST OFFICE and post all my RANDOMBURN cds. Look at me all efficient and shit.
After that the weekend will probably feature some football watching as Everton get reminded they're a cut-price Liverpool - a Lidlpool if you will. And then some drinking.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:30,
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I'm going to the GYM at lunchtimeto lift some TIN!
GRRRRRRRR!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:39,
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This means you are drinking cans of Special Brew in a skip round the back, doesn't it?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
Transl:'I'm going to the PARK at lunchtime to lift some TINS of KESTREL SUPER with my INTELLECTUAL PEERS, some ESTONIAN VAGRANTS’
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:42,
Reply)
I'm going to be feeling ILLand going to bed EARLY because I'm SICK. This is UNFORTUNATE as it CLASHES with all the boozing I'm supposed to be doing. Ho hum.
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Kroney, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
Well if you will insist on rolling around in poo, you're going to become unwell at some point.It's unhygienic, no matter how much it gives you a chub-on.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:55,
Reply)
My wife is having Leia baptisedI am a radical atheist so will be going along for the piss up at the cricket club afterwards. I have booked Monday off work in expectation of an epic hangover and so I can start building my bike.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:55,
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from his point of view it is meaninglessso why not
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:00,
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NopeBut I am only going because there's an epic piss up afterwards. I think religion is ridiculous and can't see any point in having my children baptised. I wouldn't miss it though, I'm not a complete cunt.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:01,
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Quite so. It's all fucking made up so what does it matter.
One of my mates refused to come to the church wedding of a friend because he is an atheist. Took us weeks to persuade him that it's just a fucking building.
(, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:04, Reply)
My wife picked her best friend since childhood to be Godmotherand she refused. I think thats harsh. My Godfather is an Atheist but he's been bloody great my whole life, taught me to play guitar and stuff like that. I see Godparents as someone you trust to take care of your kids if you snuff your lid.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:07,
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after the last christening I went to I decided I couldn't do itI'd happily take the responsibility, but I couldn't stand up in church and tell bare-faced lies about believing in God.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:11,
Reply)
I couldSimply because I don't believe in God. If I was unsure I'd be funny about it but because I am absolutely sure he doesn't exist I see no issue in lying to him.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:16,
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it's not the fact that it's about god so muchas I wouldn't stand up in front of a load of people and lie about anything in that way.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:17,
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Same.I'd be happy to sign some legal document authorising me to be legal guardian in the event of some catastrophe, but I'm not going to stand up in a church swearing fealty to a religion I don't believe, disavow a different pretend figure in front of a deluded paedophile ALLEGEDLY simply because my friends like the ceremony.
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Kroney, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:22,
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I think we are missing the important point hereAnd that is "Massive Piss Up at the Cricket Club!"
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:23,
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The does the cricket club only allow Massive Pissupsto be held there if they're properly sanctioned by the clergy?
:P
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Kroney, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:24,
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No But my wife only allows massive piss ups in the cricket club if I allow a pointless baptism.
And its a members club so booze is ridiculously cheap.
AND YOU'RE ALL INVITED!
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:27,
Reply)
when is it?also, on an unrelated matter. Kingsley Shopping Village Food Hall: it's awesome.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:29,
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our's is privateSo we're only lying to each other. And is it really lying when we already know its a lie?
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:22,
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I see where you are coming from.kind of makes it seem pointless. Does your mrs believe in god?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
NopeI think she just like ceremony.
I agree the whole exercise is utterly pointless. (Except the massive piss up in the cricket club)
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:26,
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Fair play to you for letting her have it.Important point needing to be made.
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Kroney, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:28,
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Pfft! it's all a load of bollox anyway.Even the priest will probably know your lying anyway.
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:23,
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I explained to Keza last night that even if we were evil devil worshipersshe would still baptise our daughter because its about saving the child's soul from original sin.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:25,
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I knowand for that reason the whole thing seems pointless. I wouldn't even consider it.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:25,
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good man*high fives*
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:29,
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You are correct.I am Godparent to my adopted sister. I also crossed my fingers behind my back at the christening when I was ask to renounce the devil. *grin*
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:13,
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Do you have to be christened/baptised/whatever to be a godparent?My wife told me I couldn't ever do it because of this. She grew up in Norn Iron so it may be different over there. I'd only abuse the title to do crap Marlon Brando impressions anyway so it's probably for the best.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:18,
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I don't think soThey haven't asked us if the people we have chosen were baptised. I'm pretty sure it's not something they can really check up on. I'm also pretty sure that some of Akiras Godparents aren't baptised
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:20,
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No, you don'tOnly my sister is baptised, but 4 of us are godparents
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:20,
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I don't think so.My youngest sister was only christened catholic to get into the good schools.
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:21,
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Akira and Leia?You really are the King Of All Geeks
*bows*
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 May 2011, 9:57,
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It's just a shame that without sons my line fails after my death.(
Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
There is a good chance your daughters will either not get married, be lesbians or just keep their name anyway.(
girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:05,
Reply)
Blousie I was being sillyI actually wanted girls.
Uninteresting fact. I chose my surname out of a hat when I was 15. Apart from my wife and daughters I am the only one in my family to have it. If it dies with me I really couldn't care less.
BTW If theres a good chance they won't get married you must think they are pig ugly so I am of course OFFENDED ON THE INTERNET!
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:10,
Reply)
I have seen your eldest and she's a blooming beauty.I was hoping they'd be too modern to faff around with that marriage silliness.
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girlinthehole, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:14,
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I'd be quite happy if they were lesbiansas long as they bought hot girls home for me to eye up.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:17,
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She could get married and have a kid by an abusive scumbagand then when they finally divorce your grandson would take his mother's maiden name. Everybody wins!
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:23,
Reply)
My aunt got divorced and dropped her surname altogetherShe changed her name by deed poll to her first and middle name.
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Peej, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
NEW THREAD ALERT, NEW THREAD ALERT, PAEDOPHILE ALERT(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
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