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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm bored
and am trying to think of things that I may have overlooked prior to my wedding. Feel free to suggest what these things might be.

I'm also trying to think of a present to buy my mrs for the wedding. Suggestions on that would be welcome.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:51, 183 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Does the Mrs like antiques?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:52, Reply)
I'm going to go with yes
and ask what you have in mind
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:56, Reply)
I thought that someone small, beautiful and liable to go up in value might be nice.
Maybe silverware or glassware?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:58, Reply)
that's shit
get her a fancy comb set
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:00, Reply)
I like the ornament angle
and will take it into consideration
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:00, Reply)
Ignore the twee stuff and look at the more art deco designs. Fucking lovely.
www.moorcroft.com/
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:02, Reply)
some interesting stuff there
I have to admit, I know what sort of modern things she likes, but not so much what her taste is in the sort of stuff in your link
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:05, Reply)
Something from here maybe
www.romeo-glass.co.uk/acatalog/index.html
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:08, Reply)
there's some nice stuff on there
the candle bowl things are just up her street
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:10, Reply)
Problem with anything like that though is...
1/ It's of a 'time' and will therefore date quite quickly.

2/ It is easily broken and the wedding gift you gift your other half will have more sentimental value than anything. So she'll get an epic sadface if you break it while dusting.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:11, Reply)
good points

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Solution.
Don't do any housework.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:14, Reply)
way ahead of you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:15, Reply)
or here.
www.modernpots.com/


There is so much beautiful artisan stuff around, especially in your area.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:09, Reply)
that is true
my mum is an artisan. No website though, because her output isn't really high enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:10, Reply)
I got my ex a watch as a wedding gift.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Yes and look how that ended.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:55, Reply)
I'm not sure that the watch was entirely to blame.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:56, Reply)
her current watch was a present from me anyway
and not so long ago.

good suggestion though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:57, Reply)
A small golden nugget
You can say it's an early 'golden anniversary' gift.

People will vom at such sickly romantic gesture.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:00, Reply)
Awwwwwwwwwwwww!
*voms*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:03, Reply)
^ Proof.
(Unless you're still a bit poorly from your weekend excess)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:04, Reply)
Just tired.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:06, Reply)
I got my ex
A mighty wrap of coke for her wedding present.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:58, Reply)
are boys meant to get stuff for their ladies
when they get married? Man, I missed out, there.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:59, Reply)
We shared the coke
Selfish present, I suppose.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
not necessarily
but I want to
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
I was given some silver cufflinks with the date of the wedding engraved on them.
They don't get worn anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:02, Reply)
I believe that I will be receiving some cufflinks at some point
because I only have one pair, and they broke. Also, they were a present from my ex. My mrs doesn't know that though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:07, Reply)
Depending on the date you're getting married.
I might be able to do you a good deal on one cufflink (sadly, the year is on the other one).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:09, Reply)
10th september any good?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:11, Reply)
Sadly not.
Shame.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:12, Reply)
some sort of keepsake
a locket with an engraving or a photo frame with your picture in it, engraved with a personal message
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:58, Reply)
Or antique locket.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:59, Reply)
yeah with old dead skin and some sort of curse laid upon it by the gypsies

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:00, Reply)
Woohoo!
Best curses are made by the gypsies. Don't want some second rate curse on it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
I'll be the indians could wollop a curse by a gypsy.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
Menthol sweets that are past their sell-by-date WIN!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:02, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:06, Reply)
good idea
something with a picture of me is bound to go down well

because I'm so pretty
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:02, Reply)
I meant a picture of the both of you, twatwaffle.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:02, Reply)
that's an even better idea
because she's pretty too
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:04, Reply)
Yes! ignore the Mrs as she can see you every day.
Give a pic of you to all your guests. Win!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:04, Reply)
If you are going away on honeymoon
straight after, remember to pack your bank card, you'll feel like a twat if you don't
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:00, Reply)
we're not going far enough that I couldn't drive back and get it in a pinch

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:01, Reply)
have you remembered:
clothes (you can't go up the aisle naked)
shoes
a place to stay in the evening
good pants (comedy horse posing pouch may not do down well)
cake
music

That covers most of it, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:12, Reply)
I'm horribly vain so have my outfit more or less sorted
including shoes and socks. Need to get waistcoat made and get some new pants
we are staying at the wedding venue
my mum is making the cake and
I've sorted the band, have to decide on the first dance song and have got some friends to play and sing during the photos/canapes. They are superb so am well pleased.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:14, Reply)
you sound like you've got it all under control
now don't worry and have fun
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:18, Reply)
thanks :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:18, Reply)
May I suggest for the last dance
Too Drunk to Fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:33, Reply)
Or Megadeath 'No more Mister nice guy'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:34, Reply)
I was thinking of AC/DC's Sink the Pink

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:36, Reply)
Spinal Tap 'Lick my love pump'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:38, Reply)
I think only one person at the wedding other than me would be able to identify it

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:38, Reply)
Grace Jones, "Pull Up to the Bumper".

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)
baby got back?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:59, Reply)
I will think about it :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:34, Reply)
One thing we did - which worked surprisingly well
Was putting a disposable camera on each table.

If you're on the top table, you'll miss a lot of your guests fun during the wedding breakfast and it was good to see everyone having a bit of a laugh whilst you are shitting yourself over making a speech.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:26, Reply)
also you get to see more pictures of cocks

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:29, Reply)
these days with digital cameras and facebook
that probably isn't an issue
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:30, Reply)
True.
I retract my suggestion.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:30, Reply)
I like Blousies antique idea
and for easily personalisable stuff, get her a book
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:16, Reply)
An address book is even easier to personalise.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:17, Reply)
one of those books where she is the heroine?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:17, Reply)
yesssssssssssssssssssssss!
that would be the coolest book ever, a personalised comic book
and I don't even read comics
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:20, Reply)
That is actually not a bad little idea
Which I will stow away in my head for a potential future venture.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:26, Reply)
Or a romantic 'choose your own adventure' book.
She could bed you one day, lez it up the next and leave you for baron the day after.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:22, Reply)
heh, I wonder if you can get "choose your own erotica"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:25, Reply)
write it yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:25, Reply)
or better still
get b3ta to write it for me...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:26, Reply)

is the word you are looking for there really better??
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:27, Reply)
by better
I meant less effort for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:29, Reply)
i think the effort would come
when you had to explain why you'd given her a book in which she was oiled up with swarfega with a cucumber in her twat while goatse-ing and dropping a monster turd in your mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:32, Reply)
that'd be funny as hell though

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:32, Reply)
And that's just the chapter one.
In chapter two, you explore how you can molest her whilst she recovers from cucumber e coli.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:33, Reply)
the chapter with a guy dressed as a masturbating
donkey doing a power slide across a stage* was too far though

*can't claim responsibility for this, a friend actually did it at a larp event :( he wasn't actually wanking, but the spray cream was certainly unnerving according to those who were there
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:36, Reply)
No I just meant
buy her an antique book that you know she'd like.

Though your idea is pretty good if you could find a non-cliched book
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:25, Reply)
I was being silly
I'm sure that all personalisable books are fucking dreadful.

The antique book idea would be a great present for me, but probably not so much for the mrs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:26, Reply)

the on
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:29, Reply)
get a shirt made that says "I got married and all I got was this lousy t shirt."

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:22, Reply)
Something from here perhaps?
www.forteantimes.com/features/fbi/5455/viktor_wynd_and_his_little_shop_of_horrors.html

Start as you mean to go on, I say.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:27, Reply)
A 15" black rubber cock.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:31, Reply)
I'm amazed that it has taken this long
I was expecting almost nothing but answers of this sort.

I was pleasantly surprised.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:34, Reply)
I like to find a level
and then work my way beneath it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:40, Reply)
We are all very handy in matters of the heart.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:45, Reply)
indeed you are

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:54, Reply)
Did she say very handy in matters of the heart?
She meant 'cunts'.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:55, Reply)
A ride in a glider or something.
Or a rally lesson, that would be cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:41, Reply)
Nothing says 'I love you' more than strapping your wife to a flimsy powerless plane
And saying, 'Ha! You've got no engine, good luck getting down!!'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:42, Reply)
it's like a trust exercise

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:43, Reply)
Vipros gets to go on a stag weekend.
Mrs V gets to play with gravity.

Seems like a fair exchange.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:45, Reply)
she's doing Go Ape for her hen do thing
she's much better with heights than I
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:46, Reply)
I did that last year.
Good fun except I ripped something in my arm on a cargo net and couldn't do the whole course.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:54, Reply)
I know I wouldn't enjoy it
I'd probably be able to make myself do it, but I wouldn't like it, so I won't bother.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:55, Reply)
Give her a...wait for it, wait for it...
Pearl necklace.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:47, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)
I NOE, RITE?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:51, Reply)
I love pearls............the real ones.
I'm just waiting for someone to discover how awesome I am and buy me some for a prezzie. I guess it doesn't tie in with the whole tattoo and piercing thing but then I am a creature of extremes.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)
pearl's a singer.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:50, Reply)
She sings songs for the lost and the lonely........................in a nightclub.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:50, Reply)
Her job is entertaining folk
Singing songs and telling jokes................ in a nightclub.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:53, Reply)
Could be Lola
She was a showgirl...
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)
tattoos and piercings are good
not that I've ever been with a woman with either...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Overrated.
Then again, I have my belly button pierced, so what do I know?

And I must strenuously tell you all that it is in no way camp or quenderish. It is in fact a rather fetching and masculine belly button piercing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)
I have never seen a guy with a navel peircing.
And women with tattoos and piercings are dirty bitches, apart from me, I'm just a bit naughty.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:57, Reply)
his has meant he's had a lot of naval piercing
of the anus.

by which I mean he gets fucked by sailors who pick him up on the docks for sixpence a time.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:59, Reply)
You are thinking of Darth.
Vipros you utter bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:01, Reply)
You massive hom.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Whigfield has one as well.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Don't tell Rory.
I don't think he would like the idea of his future wife with extra holes in.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:04, Reply)
you are a teenage girl

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Nothing hommish about it, or teenagery either.
Keith Flint has his done, as does Logan Mader out of Machine Head. Those guys are not camp.

I seem to recall Jeff Buckley had his done and chicks dug him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Keith Flint is a weirdo
all the people from Machine Head are wankers

chicks wouldn't dig Buckley if they knew about his belly button piercing
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:01, Reply)
I am not making claims for Logan Mader being cool, just pointing him out as an example of a dude with a belly button piercing.
And Keith Flint isn't particularly weird.

Nor am I.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:06, Reply)
it's pretty gay
and teenage girlish
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:07, Reply)
No it isn't.
And no it isn't.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:07, Reply)
this seems like a touchy subject for you
how long did it take a woman to persuade you that it isn't gay or teenage girlish?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:08, Reply)
It's not a touchy subject at all.
I have had it done for 15 years. Never been an issue with the ladies. It's just another piercing. I've had a fair few over the years, I peaked with 8 in various bits.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:11, Reply)
damn you for not rising to the bait
I don't have a problem with it at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:16, Reply)
You utter bender.
I've heard it all before.

Does Darth have his done? If not, I must logically be the biggest utter bender on the OT boards.

What a thought.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I'm not sure
for some reason I think that he might
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:19, Reply)
but until we find out for sure, the default must be me as the utter bendist.
I think.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 21:11, Reply)
Chicks dig scars not peirced man buttons.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Scars? Really?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Yup!
Me mostly but I'm sure there are others out there.

www.chicks-dig-scars.com/
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:05, Reply)
You're still a massive hom.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 20:03, Reply)
a t-shirt with your face on it

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:52, Reply)
A brace of crackwhores to dance the can-can to Come On Eileen at the reception

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:53, Reply)
topless?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:53, Reply)
I am as it goes

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:55, Reply)
breasts?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)
( O Y O )

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:04, Reply)
something is wrong with me
I looked at that and saw an owl.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:19, Reply)
we need a better collective noun for crackwhores

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)
A Krankie of crackwhores.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Fan-dabby-dozy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Book her in for a boob job.
Women are so shallow, that so long as they are happy with their breasts, you can get away with anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:54, Reply)
they are already pretty big
not sure she'd go for it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:55, Reply)
Maybe a reduction then.
making them more perky.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:57, Reply)
not sure I'd go for that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Go for the pump up, let down option.
Best of all worlds.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)
^this
I know for a fact my life would have been so different if I'd been happy with my breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:55, Reply)
I feel the same about my willy.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:59, Reply)
It's the cross we have to bear.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)
i like women that are happy with their breasts

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)
I like men that like women who have breasts.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)
i like YOU

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:59, Reply)
I like me too : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Fucking hell.
It's like a Bert and Ernie convention with you two.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Hahaha!
Except they were gay.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:03, Reply)
*Yay!*
I like it when Blousie laughs.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:03, Reply)
I should do it more often.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:05, Reply)
It's the jiggling, isn't it Jeff?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:06, Reply)
A happy Blousie is a awesome Blousie.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:11, Reply)
I was happy this weekend.
I was as happy as a pig in shit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:11, Reply)
I could do with some happy
Can someone give me some happy, please?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 20:12, Reply)
Fill your house with B3tans.
Can't go wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:17, Reply)
but my house is already filled with stock
and assorted rubbish. and mr b3th.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 20:17, Reply)
beef?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:23, Reply)
No, selling.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Even with my glum countenance looming in your kitchen?

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Your glum countenance was cute.
Like a little grumpy dwarf.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Fat dwarf
TLIC's bash photos include a picture of my beer gut.

Even though only my beer gut can be seen, he's been careful to include my name in the caption.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:19, Reply)
He good like that.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:20, Reply)
I'm nothing if not thorough

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Goes to laugh at the tubmeister

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:20, Reply)
So yeah, I'm a fat bespecataled dwarf
There are worse things to be. Possibly.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:24, Reply)
Elton John?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:25, Reply)
I'd be amazed if any of us got to grace the cover of Vogue TD.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:26, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:26, Reply)
I'd be surprised if any of us could grace the pages of readers' wives / husbands / significant others

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 20:27, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I'm just me
Whether you like it or not.

And tomorrow I launch my own business. And I'm terrified. This is the scariest thing I've ever done.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Will you be standing in peoples gardens with a pointy hat and a fishing rod?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:40, Reply)
No, but I feel a new sig coming on

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:43, Reply)
You could, for instance, have a face like Jeremy the Annoying Horse.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Ernie + halfsister
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Oooh.
Fun game from Mindjolt

www.mindjolt.com/games/retroshoot-1?nav=new_high_scores

Enjoy!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:12, Reply)
Hang on? You are supposed to get your other half a present on top of the ring/dress/etc?
Fuck maybe thats why the last 4 years have been shit!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:40, Reply)
it's not essential
but I want to
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Oh yeah! Are you buying new shoes to get married in?
Don't forget to take off the labels. I walked to the wedding because I lived up the road and I was stopped by a do-gooder who I thought was going to congratulate me but instead said "You've still got the labels on the bottom of your shoes love" Close one there! Kneeling was part of the ceromony.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:42, Reply)
I have already given my awesome new boots a test run
to make sure they weren't going to destroy my feet
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 21:11, Reply)

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