Lunch thread is early.
What are you doing this weekend?

I'm probably going to head to upfest

www.upfest.co.uk/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:24, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm having a mini mini bash.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Who are you meeting up with?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Chickenlady, PJM, nuggets and mother and stopping off from Scotland on their way home.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

That'll be nice.
Have fun.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Will do : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I hope you'll be doing them a nice little spread of sandwiches and cakes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Depends when they turn up.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Get some chocolate fingers as well.
And do some cheese and pineapple. It isn't a buffet without cheese and pineapple.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Haha! we'll see.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

We'll see your great seats at the Phil?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Haha! we'll see.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

If you don't want to run to the expense of chocolate fingers
then consider the 'Party Ring' as a cheaper alternative.

*Can cater for ALL budgets*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Will a Chocolate Finger
fit through a Party Ring? If not, what if you nibble the chocolate off first?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'm rather jealous!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Then going to vandalise Bristol?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Nah. I live here.
I don't want to see the place destroyed. I'll leave the distruction to the Peoples Republic of Stokes Croft who get the hump if someone wants to open a shop and employ people.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Seeing family, and having a BBQ

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Seeing my mum and sister
I might see if I can get some park action in. Getting drunk.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

So you'll be taking a bottle of cider to the park.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Maybe, maybe.
More likely some nice drinks, some sandwiches and some stale bread, but believe that if you will.

Ooh, maybe I'll take strawberries and merengue nests.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Take the stale bread to the park and feed the ducks!
I've not fed the ducks in years. Do ducks still like stale bread?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Why did you think I was going to take stale bread?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

To taunt the homeless with.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I have discovered the finest mixer known to man, just FYI.
M&S still ginger lemonade. It made gin palatable. Gin!
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

That sounds like an interesting drink.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:52, Reply)

It is bloody lovely stuff.
It's so good I've stopped drinking it so that I don't run out.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Ginger lemonade?!
I already drink gin and ginger ale and gin and lemonade. This could work very very well. Thank you for this :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'd be keen on trying that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I don't know how anyone can drink gin.
It's foul stuff.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:08, Reply)

OUT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:09, Reply)

No.
It's deceptive. It tastes nice enough at first, and then it tastes like Satan pissed in my mouth.

That stuff is evil.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Also, I'm sad the film thread is dead because I watched the remake of The Wicker Man last night
and it was amazingly bad
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

The original was shit as well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Fuck off was it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

YOU BITCHES

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:54, Reply)

*decks woman in bear costume*

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I kept giggling as I recognised the bits from the "Best Of Video"
hodigeburned hodigeburned HODIGEBURNED HOWDIGEBURNED
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

THE BEES
Hello pet :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Hello hotstuff!
It's been way way way way way too long. We should do something soon. How's the crazy regime going?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:54, Reply)

YOUR MUM
UP THE BUM
WITH CLOGS ON
( broadsword, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

The X-Rated remix of Ronnie Hilton's classic windmill-based Amsterdam classic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Your mum

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I'm feeling shit and wish I didn't have exams.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I didn't realise you were into that sort of thing, how did you get into it?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

She's friends with Kroney IRL

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Noel got me into it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

If I'm honest, I only got into it to make him happy.
I'm not a fan of mess.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

This weekend I shall be mostly shopping for a pretty dress
and preparing myself for my new job I start on Monday annnnndddd hopefully seeing a bit of sunshine.
( wanderlust, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:40, Reply)

OMG!
What's your new job?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

OMG assistant manager at a bar restaurant in Paddington.
Though this morning I have been offered an interview at another members club and my old GM had been in touch to say she wants me to work with her.
*Job offer gless*
( wanderlust, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

WOOHOO
What with beckyletters and now you, it's like all my favourite b3ta ladies are doing well.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Thanks Al.
I'm scared and know it's going to be mental hours and a lot of work, but I am very pleased.
( wanderlust, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I cannot wait to be a kept man.
I've resigned already and am looking at developing an interest in daytime television esp QVC.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

BUT WAIT!
That's not all, call now and we'll throw in this free male grooming kit as well. You'll be the talk of the town with this moustache comb and pomade.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Oh man I'm going to have so much Diamonique it's going to be UNREAL.
And slacks. Pair after pair of comfortable beige sta-prest slacks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Where are you working ? Are you going to work anywhere near me? If you worked near me we could meet up for lunch and we could have sushi and fizzy pop and niche-market sex.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Now, I'm not one to put Monty down
but lets face it, which chap, out of Monty and Gonz, are you more likely to have better niche-market sex with? I think she knows the answer.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

It depends on the market surely?

( wanderlust, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

*craps hopefully in freezer*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

You disgust me.

( wanderlust, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Your looks of disgust give me a lazy lob-on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I guess it all depends on what side of S&M Lusty likes to be in.... as much as he has the full SS uniform, I can be the boy in the pinstripe PJs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It's Lusty's last day at her job today so there will be some low-level drinking tonight.
Tomorrow night seeing my little girl and Sunday more fun with my daughter. She's not in my good books though: for her first birthday I bought her a gorgeous AA Milne hand-bound Winnie the Pooh anthology with the proper Shepherd illustrations. Last night she requested a story...from the fucking vulgar Disney Winnie The Pooh book that her hideous Kentish grandparents got her.

So I branded her face with an iron and made her sleep in a bathful of piss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Low level drinking
....hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Did you know that Milne had a first name of Alan?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

'Have you got your big plate Alan?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

You big spastic... You're a mentalist!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Seeing friends and getting horribly, horribly drunk.
In short, the usual.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Taking my old kitchen to the tip tomorrow
It's my second youngest son's birthday on Sunday and he wants to see Kung Fu Panda 2 and go to Chiquitos afterwards. So we'll be doing that

If indeed it is..
..my old kitchen
..the tip
..my second youngest son
..his birthday
..on Sunday
..a Panda
..Chiquitos
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:53, Reply)

It's not a panda, it's a fat twat pretending.
Hope this helps.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

This doesn't help
I still have to go and watch the film. And pay for the privilege.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

IF you have to pay

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:07, Reply)

*notices second raptor in corner of eye*
Clever girl
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Sleep.
Lots and lots of sleep. Perhaps in the park with a book and a joint, if it's still this sunny.
(berk, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Oh dear, things not going well with tennis-boy?
Or are you just partial to a bit of comatose tramp-assault action?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Nothing beats the sensation of waking up to find a homeless man sucking you off.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Things are going fine with tennis boy
it's his fault I'm so damn tired.
(berk, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Oh man, I know EXACTLY what you mean, I tend to fall asleep on the sofa when I get home from work, I can't even remember what happened in hollyoaks towards the end last night.
I think it might be the anemia, I have a vile of B12 stuff in my bag for next time I see the nurse. Are you getting enough iron in your diet? It's just that, for a normal functioning body, that's the thing that might help, something like Spinnage. I, too, was also, awake playing Zelda quite a bit at night, are you having trouble with the Temple Of The Ocean King? It's really anonoying me, keeping me up all night, like you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Not remembering the plot of Hollyoaks is a good thing.
Whole bloody set should be nuked from orbit. With the actors present, preferably.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Are you still recovering from that thing you did last weekend that you never thought you'd do?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Her knees are still wobbling.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 11:58, Reply)

knees are vagina is
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:02, Reply)

A wobbly vagina?
I think not.
(berk, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

+ like a ripped welly in a thunderstorm
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Pinging the clitoris and watching the flaps wobble.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 12:04, Reply)