Who here has already been in work 45 minutes too long?
On the plus side, my new office has a mini mart next door which sells fresh croissants and pain of chocolat and cartons of ribena.

I have a healthy breakfast.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:09, 143 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh man I looooove pain au chocolat.
We don't have them here. I got them all the time while I was over there.

I had porridge and fruit for breakfast.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:10, Reply)

That sounds a lot healthier than fatty pastries
and sugary blackcurrant juice drink.

How are you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:11, Reply)

I'm dandy - I had my last exam last night.
all done for the semester. Three weeks off! How're you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:12, Reply)

Sleepy, pissed off with my immediate manager and I had a row with my old man last night
all in all, it's a bit shit.

But I'm going to the physio in an hour or so, and i'm having ribs tonight, and I've got nothing to do this weekend, so it could be worse.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:14, Reply)

I don't like my physio, she's really really scary!

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:17, Reply)

Mine is South African
and he's about 6ft 6, so he towers above me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:19, Reply)

Mine is decidedly Aussie, 5 feet tall, and every time I go, yanks my leg to re-align my hip,
and she's definitely a mum. I feel about 2 feet tall when I see her.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:21, Reply)

Do you do your exercises in between sessions?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:25, Reply)

yes I do. Every night before bed for five minutes, just like she said.
although it's really cold at the moment which is making my hip stiff.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I have to stand on one leg and do squats without letting my pelvis tilt to one side.
It's surprisingly hard at first.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)

bloody hell.
I have to lie on my back, rest my right foot on my left knee, and then use my arms to pull both legs towards my chest.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:42, Reply)

That hurts just thinking about it!
My achilles tendons have been aching every morning for the last few weeks, to the point where I have to hobble into the bathroom for a piss of a morn. WTF is going on with them?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)

you're getting old.
and yeah, it does hurt. Hurts my glutes and the muscles in my hip.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I have been in fucking agony for the last few weeks
It is really odd. Once I get moving all is fine and no pain. I think my ankles have gone rusty
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Ditto on the early morning.
I had muesli. We're going to live forever Al.
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:18, Reply)

I was fully of the view that I would stay young and beautiful forever BGB.
But then I noticed my bald spot developing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:20, Reply)

I'm sure it's a bloody lovely looking bald spot though.

( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:21, Reply)

At least your hair's a nice colour - a 'good hue', if you will.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:26, Reply)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
I just did a small poo.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Can't believe I laughed at this.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:43, Reply)

HAHAHA!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I've been in for 20 minutes. Breakfast is for poofters.
At 11am I am being shown an online demo for a accounting/retail software package that, if it does what it's supposed to and we go with it, will utterly transform my working life and those of my immediate staff. However this will be third time lucky as our previous attempts to acquire similar have been inmitigated disasters.

One of them meant I had to spend far, far too long in close proximity to a rancid, haggard old lezzer with tawdry gold jewellery who reeked like she got through 80 Capstans a day, the foul old witch. She was from Portsmouth *shudders*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:25, Reply)

If there's one thing I've learned in my years Monty, it's this.
No computer program will ever do what it's supposed to do and none of them will ever save you time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:26, Reply)

You know I hate to agree with Al, Monty
You know that, don't you?

He's right, though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:30, Reply)

YEAH!
IN YOUR FACE HOMOSEXUAL MAN!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)

THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:38, Reply)

BECAUSE HE'S GAY AND WANTS A PENIS TO BE RUBBED ON HIS FACE!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

He was talking to you.
You bender.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I have no seen no evidence to the contrary in 16 years of work.
Even my company's retail website (the architecture for which is used by shitloads of sensible and successful companies) has some frankly baffling inadequacies.

However so much of the back office stuff here is still done manually (with its associated time costs and error potential) removing two of these jobs will mean I need one less employee. I have someone leaving soon and won't need to replace them. I have absolutely no hope that I will achieve this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:32, Reply)

We had a piece of CRM software brought in, with the seller telling us it would change the way we worked.
It could have been brilliant, but with any of these softwares, if you put shit information in, you're going to get shit out.

Add to that the slow running, the crashes that happen at the worst times, and you have a shitty piece of software we paid a lot of money for.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

We write CRM software....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)

You don't work for DDS do you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Nope

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Good
*uncocks rifle*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Can't say I've heard of them actually!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:02, Reply)

That's because they're shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Obvious, tired Kroney reference
ty piece of software

+ a terrifying woman in an SS uniform calling herself Helga to freeze, violate us each in turn with, pausing only in between rounds to add bulk to the weapon with her own effluent.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)

what's a capstan?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Really fucking strong, filterless cigarettes for sailors.
I used to know a lad that smoked them - they had 'HIGH TAR' on them like it was a good thing, that they were proud of.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)

ewwwww.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)

it's also a big winch on large sailing ships used for hauling up the anchor and things like that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Yes but this woman did not smoke 80 nautical winches a day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

how disappointing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

It's a type of hat, Ollie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I think this is my best ever post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I think it is possibly the best thing ever posted on an internet forum

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

It's a contender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I think it will be sadly underappreciated

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I have bog all to contribute today
Ms Foxtrot's Dad and Stepmum are getting married tomorrow and the house is consequently at some kind of critical mass of stress levels. Tonight I have to attempt to engage the extended (and French) family whilst resisting the urge to kill everyone. This is why, if you're going to organise a wedding, you don't breed five control freak daughters first.

If no-one can distract me, I'm going to have to do some WORK.

Help me, B3ta. You're my only hope.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Are you going to be the DJ?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Not as such
They've got a friend's band playing for most of it, but I'm providing romantic background music whilst they have a rest. I compiled a playlist during the process of trying to get them to choose a song for their first dance, a process which saw them reject every song ever recorded in the history of music. Including, would you believe, "A Whole New World". I know!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:43, Reply)

So, no Combichrist then?
/Montylols
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)

He suggested it - the response: 'Fuck That Shit'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

The thought did cross my mind
It obviously occured that "What the fuck is wrong with you?" would be very appropriate, but I think - I THINK - the missus might have ripped my cock off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

They're hoping the marriage will last more than a few hours, Al.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I've been here 11 minutes too long.
My breakfast was cheese on toast with lea & perrins, washed down with a bottle of Lucozade. I've got a lot of work this morning, so I needed to be full of energy.

Al, I know you're watching it, but are you considering a flutter on the Haye-Klitschko fight?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I am having cheese on toast for breakfast tomorrow now!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I got a text from one of our customers at 7.00am today
complaining that the thing I told him was going to happen on his server had actually happened.

However, the sun is shining, the weather is free yeah.
I don't quite want to move my dancing feet as yet though.

I have large amounts of booze to consume over the weekend, I am having good curry with good friends tomorrow night and I am on a half day today to take Cow Jr swimming to a pool with a pirate ship in.

This makes for a happy, nay laughing cow

Breakfast was Shreddies this morning, served with black filter coffee.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Milk is traditional, you heathen
Morning mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Not for filter coffee in my house/work
Morning!

I am most happy in that I've just put my overtime claim in and it came to £870 this month. Woop! Disneyland here we come!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

I meant on your Shreddies ;-)
Good work sir. Paris, Tokyo or Anaheim?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Paris in August
Spending the last of our compo money to take the kids there (including Mrs Cow's 21 year old daughter who is more excited than the 4 and 1 year olds!)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Nice
Elizabeth will have the time of her life. Hopefully only up to this point.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

That is the plan, yes
Just hearing that my wallet will be raped each time I require food (i.e. often)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Too bloody right it will
The best value place to eat there is a hotdog place on the corner of the main street just as you go in, and that's just in comparison to the other places. I recommend picking up some fast passes from ebay before you go.

This forum has some good tips about the place
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

They should eat at 'The Beast's Lair'.
I had a queue of kids half a mile long waiting to gobble my hot dog when I worked there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

*guffaws*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

*opens window*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Oh god yes
Also, don't allow yourself to believe that just because you're going to Paris, the options available to you food-wise will be many and varied, or thematically appropriate to the area of the park you're in, or anything. Learn to love burgers, hot dogs and pizza.

I was particularly unimpressed that in one "restaurant" (50's themed diner), there were five vegetarian options and four included fish.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Fish aren't vegetables?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

No. And if anyone tells you they're vegetarian, but eat fish, give them a slap
The word for people like that is pescetarian. Or cunt.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Please blow it up when you get there.
Hideous palace of vulgarity that it is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I shall place the TNT when I leave
Elizabeth is practiaclly wetting herself at meeting Belle, Snow White, etc...
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:52, Reply)

+nd
Hur Hur
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

All the staff are paedos. All of them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Did you work there?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Overqualified

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)

It was more of a labour of love than a job.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)

He was "The Beast"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I refused a salary. It didn't seem fair.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

My office has no water
(nor the rest of the building or surrounding area). Since I always have a cup of tea first thing I am now feeling exceptionally parched. No news as to when it'll be fixed either.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

If only there were bottle, can or carton-based drink alternatives widely available!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

That kind of drink based utopia will never happen in our lifetime Monty.
Well, not yours anyway.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I know it's just a crazy, crazy dream - but I'm a dreamer, Al.
I can't help myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

It requires some cunt to go and fetch some though
and it doesn't really help with the toilet situation unless we get fuckloads.

EDIT: which, given the defrosted lamb stew I ate last night, makes me really glad I took a dump before I came in this morning.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

you're not the only one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)

If I've interpreted this right it's fucking funny

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I hope someday you'll join us.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

bingo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

It's a click from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I was at work before 7am.
I worked late last night too and it would have been easier if I had just slept in the office instead of going home.

Yups, I made the right career choice.
( wanderlust, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Aw hon! think of the bigger picture.
In a few years you'll be running Stringfellows and minted.
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Classy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

That is the eventual plan.

( wanderlust, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Can we have sleepovers at your work?
The place with large, fully-stocked bar?

Please?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:17, Reply)

And all the really empowered women?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I've had a look at the stock and i don't think you'd like it too much.
None of it's made from distilled pauper's tears.
( wanderlust, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

We could make our own - using mine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I'm too excited to work. Weekend in that there London with booze and food and stuff.
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

You're coming to London?
You never told me!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I'm sorry!
I'm off to visit Aber.
( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Give her a massive (but gentle) hug from me please!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Will do.

( girlinthehole, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I've been on this place about 4 years too long.
Can't decide whether to have the greek yoghurt/flax oil/lemon juice/ground almonds/oats combo for breakfast or just demolish the second packet of Cadbury's Fingers.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Make the combo, then dip chocolate fingers into it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

This is clever.,

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:30, Reply)

he's not as stupid as he looks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I know, I totally underestimated him.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)

riddle me this:
for my wedding I hadn't been planning on having any buttonholes. My mrs has just sorted out her bouquet and has found some nice matching ones, so I will indulge her. The question is, who should we get wearing them. I'm thinking me, my best man and her dad.

What do you think?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I've been on here too long
I just read 'buttonholes' as 'buttsex'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

We opted for buttonholes (a big rose and a thistle) for family and best men.
My mum pinned hers to her handbag.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

like the thistle idea, that's cool.
can't decide whether to get them for my parents and her mum and my ushers. If left to my own devices I'd say no I suspect.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

In other news
I feel it says a lot that this is the funniest thing I've read on QOTW in a while

Also, Al, will you reply to my question you tubby fuck?!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)

It says that you are very easily entertained

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Very true
You keeping an eye on the cricket today?

Also, been able to see the shot on Samaraweera's ribs yet?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Yeah, luckily they had some highlights on in the pub last night
Fucking hell that looked nasty. Bet he can't wait to get back out there today!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

The look on his face gave away his feelings on being struck, I feel.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

The worst part is Broad doesn't even bowl quite as fast or hard as Tremers
I say "worst", I obviously mean "funniest"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)

What question?
Gaz me, i'm off out for an hour or so now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

When I was 12
I stopped eating unhealthy breakfasts and cereal,toast, etc, and I've eaten fruit and fiber every morning for 48 months, except in Paris where I had French breakfasts.
(888777555, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Fucking hell, has someone just out-smugged Vipros?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

More worryingly,
how smug was Vipros when he was 16?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

massively
edi: actually that's not true. I was fat.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Maybe you should have cut out the unhealthy cereals at 12

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I don't really like cereal for breakfast.
particularly sweetened stuff.

My problem was being served large meals and drinking way too much booze I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I used to fucking love Frosties
Realising that I had to buy cereal to keep eating it accounted for some of my weight loss when I got to Uni
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

haha
naa, I find the ready sweetened stuff quite cloying really.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I wish I could say the same
I also wish I didn't love beer quite so much
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I do love beer
Fortunately I also love a nice vodka, lime and soda or tonic which can work out fairly cheap, gets you nicely pissed up and is good the gut
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I'm shite at drinking anything other than beer
Given the choice I will always plump for it. Giving it up isn't the answer, if I got off it for three months I could lose my gut but would put it back on straight away afterwards. Liposuction, that's the way forward. Or hypnosis.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I've got a much greater tolerance for vodka than beer
I'll be kind of pissed after 3 pints
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

toast isn't unhealthy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

And with Marmite, it's magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)

All that fruit and fibre and you're still full of shit?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)

*polite applause*
My hat is off to you, madam
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Now don't be
a cuntbelmer.
(888777555, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Choose your targets wisely young man.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Have you ever actually seen a cunt?
(Other than in the mirror.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Bafuckinghaha.
I'm going to have to say not in real life, but unlike a great number of people I'm not hung up on it.
So only really on you know what.
(888777555, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Your mum?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I was referring to porn
You depraved individual.
(888777555, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)

*bows*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)