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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I got to the 4th football question before giving up
What are you all going to do with the next hour?

I don't really have anything to do, except watch gifs of animals being jerks thanks to Labs. Or read about amusing mistakes people make when texting.

Alt Q: What's your favourite pasta shape? I like conchigli because they're like tiny little spoons that fill up with sauce.

SEE EVEN A QUESTION ABOUT PASTA IS MORE EXCITING THAN FOOTBALL
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:05, 241 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Sympathy reply

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)
What after three minutes? I think not.
That's a 'I've been sitting here for 3 minutes trying not to reply too quickly and look like a complete crawly bumlick' reply.
You nonce.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)
Maybe all the negative space under the thread was making him feel uneasy

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)
right what's this negative space thing? I don't get it.
Let's share the meme for the whole class please.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
And now it's all filled with meaningless crap.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
welcome to the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Why thank you.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
I fear you may be disappointed and frustrated by it...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
Your fears are correct, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
it's nice to have a 'lowest of the low' against which all else can be referenced

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Just like Lab's arm

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
...and head.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
I am going to weep slow and heartfelt tears over this blasted microscope
or, in actuality, spend most of it on here.

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00112432
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)
oh wow they are good
I didn't even think of amusingly shaped pasta, I change my answer to Tom and Jerry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)
I think the ones I usually buy are called
trottole or something. Fancy multicolour spiral-y things anyway. I'm totally buying elk pasta the next time I go to ikea though.
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)
Wiggy won't eat the multicoloured ones
because some of them are wholegrain, heaven fucking forbid
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)
WANT WANT WANT

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)
I hoe you choke on one.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)
Why are you watching animals jerk off?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)
oh that's funny you took that thing I said and changed it a bit
...almost like a strikethrough
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)
answer his question

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)
It's because she's very naive.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)
and yet empowered?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)
because I want Labs to fix my laptop and this seems the quickest way.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)

oh that's funny you took that thing I said and changed it a bit
...almost like a strikethrough
because I'm a furry.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)
you're a prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Transcript
Kitty: Hey Labs, hit me up with some animal porn, yeah? Not like animals and people though, I just want animal on animal fucking.
me: WTF?! Are you high again?
Kitty: Don't fuckin' judge me, it's after 12!
Just give me sweet animal sex!
Like a pig trottering a donkey
me: You seriously need to stop with this. Get a job.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, Reply)
The flaw in this
is that apparently you had all the links to hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I hear what you're saying
You want it too, I understand.
Here you go.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)
that link is purple
I must have seen that animal porn before.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I have a job,
Reviewing age certificates for animal porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Two hours of work left to go
So I'll be avoiding doing any.

What's the past that looks like little pillows that they fill up with meat? I like those ones because they fill them up with meat. I like meat.

Football is the single dullest thing in the world and peopel can't stop talking about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)
ravioli

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)
I like the W's in alphabetti spaghetti because they can also be a pointier M.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)
I've got some comedy penis shapped pasta at home, true story.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)
They used to sell that in the Discovery Store
at the back where you find all the teenagers giggling.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)
*Worries for Gonz, just in case he only has a packet of fusilli*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)
When the sauce gets on it
do you suck it off?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)
I just did that 'hurr hurr' laugh and felt a bit ashamed.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)
It was so obvious but....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I think my lezbo roommate has the boob shaped ones
she also has a boob cake pan.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)
aww I want boob cakes!
so I can do that annoying thing that women do with cherry bakewells
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)
That would make you a bakewell
tart.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)
Eat them and get fat?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)
haha, class.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)
haha
b
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)
*snigger*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)
THAT WENT OFF IN 2009

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
some bloke made a joke about football at the celtic fest
but it was so lame I can't remember what it was
I know it involved dancing

the next hour will involve coffee drinking, once it cools down from lava temp, posting here, researching things and making a chart probably

alt: shape? probably farfalle
I don't like eating them though
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)
ever since you said you worked in a garage
I picture you in a white vest and dungarees covered in oil, holding a wrench and doing that "oh I'm so hot and sweaty I need a diet coke" thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)
"I'd love to get my hands on your throttle body *eyebrow waggle*"
That kind of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)
haha yeah
and something about taking you for a ride and checking out your engine.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Let's see what you've got going on under the hood.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)
She could grease my differential any time.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)
you want me to lube your rear end?
kinky
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Grease me where my torque converts to drive.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'll pump your clutch

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
You've blown my gasket baby
I have fluids pissing out over the driveway.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I hope you haven't warped the head

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
I think I've bent a conrod.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
my exhaust pipe is steaming hot

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I'm usually an inlet manifold man
but, sure, when in Rome!
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
my car euphamisms are all taken from Rihanna's Shut Up and Drive
so I have no idea what y'all are talking about.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
I like that you've said y'all just there
It really revs me up
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
I was feeling a bit 'hood
must be all that grill talk from before
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Ha hood and grill are both car things
I'm well clever.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
diet coke makes me feel like I have a uti

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)
that's why I drink it
living on the edge.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)
you rebel

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I remember when I got a tin of exploding alphabetti spaghetti.

In the wrong hands, it could spell 'disaster'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)
HA! BEST EVAH!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)
*facepalm*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)
you absolute cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)
That's a bit harsh.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)
like fuck it is.
Until you come here and provide me with some new tea and a keyboard not covered in old tea, I shall persist in maintaining that you, sir, are a terrible cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)
i love and hate you at the same time

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Catullus FTW

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
no, no it's not
and most of the thread wasn't about football.

Penne of different sizes and strips of different widths (linguine etc) are the only acceptable types of pasta. All else is communist and bent
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I'm with you on this.
Pasta is inherently dull - but forced to choose one I'd go with linguine. My crab and chili linguine is fucking A1, dude.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)
You may soon find yourself in even more dire financial dificulties
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8586293/Hitlers-drinking-glasses-up-for-sale.html
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Shit. Know anyone who wants to buy a (rather used) kidney?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
as if your kidneys are worth enough

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
my immediate thought was "he wears certain glasses for drinking?"
No wonder everyone calls me retarded.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
sounds amazing

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
I wonder if I could fit small penne inside big penne with sauce in the middle
like a penne sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
I like Radiatori
really the pasta should be matched to the sauce.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)
ok I'm starting to think that some of these are made up.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiatori
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Then you are as ignorant as Bobby.
I never thought I'd say that to anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
oh come on radiatori just sounds so made up.
My favourite pasta is shoeli, it's shaped like a shoe. And I also like rollerskateri and aeroplaneli.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
facetious but funny
A lot of pasta is named after what it looks like: conchiglie - shells, farfalle - butterfly etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
I kind of wish there was shoeli now.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:15, Reply)
How many calories are in a cherry?
This is a serious question which will determine whether or not I move this bag of cherries my workmate bought in away from my desk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
Fuck all.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
It's a fruit.
Fruits are lightweight. You should know this, of all people.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Very good. Subtle enough, in fact, for me to think you were paying my general knowlege skills a compliment.
Then I remembered where I was
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I have a gift for cruelty.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Give it to Oxfam instead

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Do you not understand the concept of Google?
You'll use more calories moving a cherry than eating one.
And even more if you ever lose your own.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Masturbation burns loads and is less effort in the long run
I could've Googled it but am lazy and bored
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Well OK - from a b3tan this is an acceptable defence.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Cheers
It also seems to have proven a surprisingly effective conversation starter. Who says calorie counting is just for fatties and dickheads?

Oh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Not many, but lots of sugar I suspect

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
It turns out that Set Your Faces and I are the same age, to the day.
With this in mind we have been discussing hosting a joint MECHA-BA$H in late September to celebrate our rapidly nearing deaths.

We're thinking of getting a venue (I have some options) and then I'll play records and we can all have a jolly old 'lol'.

What do you reckon, wankstains?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'll enjoy it more if you die before it happens.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
I won't give you the satisfaction (hopefully).

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
how about if someone were to demand satisfaction?
would you fancy your chances in a duel?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
It's East London
Everyone has their own "shooter".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
*laughs so much a little sick comes up*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
only if you play lots of Bowie.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Yes, I guarantee that I will play fucking shitloads of Bowie 'numbers'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
September you say....
When exactly in the 9th month is your birthday?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
30th.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
7 days after mine.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Want in on THE BASH TO END ALL BASHES?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Lampito is the week before.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
If it's near/around the 30th, yeah.
I've got real friends to spend my birthday with.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Oh how sweet...
you've given them names, presumably? Other than forefinger, middle finger, little finger etc.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Oh right. So it's clearly not true what they say about the size of a man's hands then.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Big hands.
Big gloves.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Fido, Spot, Rex and Rover.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
After his ex-girlfriends?
That's just creepy.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
I want in.
Same day as JTDF, I'll be 21.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)
I hope none of your are expecting presents?
I will be using up all my special present-creating skills at the beginning of that month.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
and 10 days after mine

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)
same as mine
as we have established before, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
PS It's a Friday night too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
as long as it's not in London with those douchebags

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
We were actually thinking of holding it in a grim, rainy, crime-ridden depressing old mining town in the north.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
lol jk

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
We know of a good website for inexpensive
but effective stabvests.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
yeah I hear there's no crime in London
and there are no cats either and the streets are filled with cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:06, Reply)
I went to Manchester once and I didn't leave it alive.
I've been to London loads of times since. Not a sniff of a stabbing.

These are facts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
ha
this is Monty's area www.police.uk/crime/?q=Broadway%20Market,%20Hackney,%20Greater%20London%20E8%204,%20UK#crimetypes
this is mine:
www.police.uk/crime/?q=Old%20Trafford,%20Manchester,%20Trafford%20M16,%20UK#crimetypes

I bet the extra 711 incidents of anti social behaviour were all because Monty lives there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)
This is Northernist propaganda.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)
this is where I was born
www.police.uk/crime/?q=Horton,%20Wimborne,%20Dorset,%20UK#crimetypes

You can't get much further south. I have nothing against southerners. Just Londoners.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)
But I'm a Landaner born and bred

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)
Ok not Londoners per se
Monty, specifically.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)
Good point, he is an irredeemable arse

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:30, Reply)
Hm
www.police.uk/crime/?q=Guildford, Surrey, UK#crimetypes

THat big, ugly one is right over Ibiza Street, where all the squaddies from Aldershot go out to start fights.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)
I live in london and on my street there was no crime at all
so there
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)
YOU'RE FORGETTING YOUR FASHION CRIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahhahahaahhahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)
and that he's a rapist.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)
who's very good at getting away with it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)
We should get those guys from the Wire on to you

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)
that would suggest you are responsible for the rest of the crime.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)
that's America
you dolt
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)
I watched that film again the other day
Fivel was so annoying, his dad kept telling him to stay put and he kept fucking off and nearly getting himself killed. He deserved to become catfood.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Bradford?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)
I'd bloody love that
if I thought for a second that you'd invite me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
You would be very welcome.



PS I don't do requests, and also have no New Order nor CombiChrist.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
That's alright Monty
I'll bring my own CDs. I know how much DJs fucking love that.

(Thank you)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Good luck playing them on my fucking turntables.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
If I can afford it, I'll be up for that

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Good lad: you've plenty of time to get this together,
maybe you could blag a lift off Neil B?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Nahh, he's really down currently, I think he might top himself
With 30 red jumpers, 400 pairs of school trousers, and a little aubergine.

It's all down to how these next 2 months go, shall see!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
I'm not sure I could take your terrible bullying IRL

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)
I'm very personable IRL.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)
*senses trap*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
for personable read high

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Don't be such a fucking wet.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)
As long as you don't have it some chav/tourist trap shit hole like the Porterhouse
which seems to be a favourite for these mongs
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Porterhouse is a perfectly good pub
as long as you aren't stupid enough to go there on a Friday or a Saturday. It's also one of the few pubs that can accomodate a shit load of people, has good beer and is central.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
It's horrid, and serves horrid beer and is frequeted by horrid people
there I've said it
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)
the bottled beer selection is epic and a couple of the draught beers are good
And I fucking defy you to find a pub in that area that ISN'T frequented by horrid people.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I'm not saying I'd choose to drink there
but it's good for groups.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
By "area" do you mean "London"?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
covent garden/aldwych.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
It cannot be done.
Hence we'll not be having our party anywhere fucking near there.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
I'm thinking of the function room of the Griffin in Shoreditch or the Brewery Tap in Dalston.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Anywhere that doesn't involve Covent Garden cuntery is fine.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Brewery Tap used to be one of my locals.
between that and the London Fields if I remember rightly.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
That's my 'hood.
I live at the bottom of Broadway Market.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
sweet.
I used to live on Marlborough Avenue. Junction of Shrublands Road, I think. Mind, this was 15 years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Shame you're so far away these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
tru dat.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
Oooh. A function room.
Will there be cheese and pineapple?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
If you get a tin of pineapple rings and put them on your nob...
yes.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Well, half a tin.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
That made me laugh far too much.
*removes the Party Rings from my cock and goes to find the tin opener*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)
Haaaaaaaahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
Hate to say it Apey, but he's right
If I can deal with it then you can. Plus, if you go Monty might give me a moment's respite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
I'll just punch him in the hip if he gets too irritating

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Gowan.
It'll be a laff.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
He'll be stoned and barely able to string a sentence together.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
this is true,
last time I met him he just kept slurring "nommy nommy sammiches" at me. Poor old fool.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)
I would love to come.
What date do you have in mind?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
30/09

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Thing is, if folks need to get trains etc maybe the next day might be better?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
Sounds fair.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Good man. 30th Sep or maybe Sat 1st?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
That weekend is in my diary.
Can we have breaks where we watch Fry and Laurie on a big screen?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
If we use the venue I'm thinking of we actually could.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)
*faints*

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Shite
October 1st I'll be DJing. I'm keeping the 30th free and crossing my fingers.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Free your weekend, and I'll give you the pounds I owe you.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I'll lose fifty if I don't DJ
I've actually lost track of who owes who waht
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
When is your child DJ starting?
I give you six months before he drives you to suicide.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
He's 25, and I chose him because he and I get on
Make it twelve and you're on
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
25 is still a child.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Yep I get to vet the guest list right?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Definitely.
No cunts, benders or uggos allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Hang on.
You sure?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
bit harsh making him cut himself from the invite list

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I'm not a bender :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
that's the spirit!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
This made me 'laugh out loud'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
seems unlikely
as I will have properly enskinted myself via the medium of honeymoon
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
It hurts that you haven't even acknowledged this.
and I used to think we had something....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
don't worry darling, we'll have just got back from our honeymoon
we don't need them.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)
So it's going to be some sort of disco?
A sort of social gathering to music?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
A disco where no-one dances and all the attendees sit as far from the decks as possible,
occasionally shaking their heads sadly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
send me a copy of your playlist and I will give you validation from afar

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I'll broadcast the show live on 'the internet'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
And each song has a 20minute introduction
on WHY IT'S BETTER THAN THE SONGS YOU LIKE
(PsychoChomp, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Yep, with an accompanying slide show.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
You're consistent in your level of entertainment Monters, I'll give you that.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
No fucker's going to dance anyway are they
As much as no-one ever wants to be the first to get up and shake their booty in a club, it sure as hell isn't going to happen when surrounded by all manner of cunts with camera phones who'll upload the pics on Monday morning and meme the fuck out of them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Well that'll just leave the floor open for us to tango then won't it.
by tango I mean me tripping over your feet and landing on my arse and you stropping off Louis Spence style.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)
Will there be awkward silences?
I'm only interested if there are awkward silences.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Loads of them. And the obligatory technical breakdown as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
<s>technical</s> emotional

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
How about a fight where some guy hits on another guy's girl
and the girl's yelling "Leave 'im, 'e's not worf it" and the guy's yelling "I'll fackin' kill 'im!"?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
I'll bring that down from Manchester if you like

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)
You can keep it if you like, kthxby

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)
I love the way all the different names for pasta shapes
are just basically describingthe shape, in Italian.

Farfalle = butterfly
Conchiglie = shell
Fusilli = spiral
Spaghetti'Os = Spaghetti Os.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Well, fuck it
Have I killed another thread?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)
I liked it actually
i like that'Alphabetti' sounds Italian
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
I was trying to think of something worthwhile to reply with.
I failed.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
never stopped you before!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
badum-tish.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:11, Reply)
If you type "what size are..." into google
the fifth suggestion is "Katy Perry's breasts"

now I like breasts, but this made me despair slightly
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)
I bet it was mostly Darth
trying to fill in his boob size database.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)
I'm interested in knowing what 'breats' are.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:27, Reply)
edited, just for you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)
I'm interested in knowing what he wants to know the size of
if not Katy Perry's breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:32, Reply)
Me too, Kitters, me too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 17:35, Reply)

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