*yawn*
so it turns out that if I shut down my laptop and before it switches off it starts installing windows updates, then shutting the lid suspends this process. Then when I open the lid the next morning it has to finish before I can do anything. Half an hour and it's got to "Configuring Service Pack 15% Complete". Grrrr.

What's kept you waiting/will keep you waiting today?

Alt: Favourite Television Channel and why.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:48, 241 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You all watch too much TV.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:54, Reply)

Miss Miss I don't
it's all pretty shit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:01, Reply)

Apart from stuff on yesterday like Sharpe or Hitlers terror weapons

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:01, Reply)

*nods*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:20, Reply)

I have the TV on constantly but I rarely actually watch it.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:20, Reply)

^ northerner
When I was a boy the Radio Times was purchased, and if you wanted to watch something you indicated so with your initials. At the allotted time, the television was switched on, and switched off again at the end until the next 'screening'. The screen itself being about 6 inches across. It was like trying to watch Monkey on a digital fucking watch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:26, Reply)

I usually have the sound down too.
We always had the TV on as a kid, hence my need to have it on now. Even when I'm listening to music I still have it on.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Ahh, Sharpe
Possibly, the only thing that Sean Bean is in for more than an hour and doesn't die.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)

He doesn't die in the O2 ad voiceovers.
He makes me want to, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Or the F1 voiceovers, for that matter

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:40, Reply)

My housemate taking ages in the shower
Alt: Probably either Sky1, SyFy or The Food Network.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 7:57, Reply)

The only TV I really watch is
Apprentice (to get angry about how mongy they all are) and F1/MotoGp/Wimbledon so I guess BBC1 by default!

There's a channel called Really though which is my fav for ridiculous "OH NO HE DIDN'T *click click*" TV
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:08, Reply)

I watched a bit of the Apprentice last night for the first time in some years
and was shocked to see that one of the guys appears to not be a complete fucking moron and shithead. How the hell did he slip through the net and get on the show?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Nothing. I'm on mid year break.
I like channel two, seven and go. They have good shows on them here.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:10, Reply)

If there's an old Only Fools and Horses or Family Guy
I'll watch that. Other than that I watch Qestion Time (and even fall asleep and miss the end of that).
It's just background noise really.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:13, Reply)

I suspect that given what tv I do watch is downloaded,
my favourite channel at the moment is probably HBO. Game of Thrones was excellent as was The Walking Dead.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:21, Reply)

Has Game Of Thrones finished series 1 yet? If so, that's my next download.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

It's all finished now.
I can tell you who dies, and who lives, if you like.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

You're alright, you already told me the main one I was interested in.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Oh yeah.
TGB wasn't too impressed with that eh?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

If she ever meets you, you're going to die.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Not before I spoil something else for her, no doubt.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Her top, with your blood

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I doubt it.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Hahahaha!
So naive.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I just want to pat him on the head.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

*yawn indeed*
YOU'VE kept me waiting, Lighters. Waiting for you to post something not dull. Listen, I have to be out of here bang on six tonight - does that give you enough time?

Alt: Yesterday: 'Secrets of WWII', 'Colditz' etc etc. BBC4 gets an honourable mention for their music documentaries, though. They've shown some classics. Television is, on the whole, fucking shit.

That said, one of the channels keeps showing The Sweeney, The Professionals and The Prisoner. This is a good thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:23, Reply)

Surely
The Prisoner is the finest TV show ever made.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:29, Reply)

You're clearly forgetting the legendary 'Ross Kemp on...' series.
*tries to keep straight face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

You'll love the new one.
Ross Kemp On Life-Support.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

'Ross Kemp on a Medieval Rack' would also be good.

As would 'Ross Kemp on a Humungous Dose of LSD' or the simple classic 'Ross Kemp on Fire'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:37, Reply)

The last series of Dead Ringers was 99% shite
But the Ross Kemp moments were quite superb.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:38, Reply)

That's ITV4
Yesterday is showing Tenko.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Was Bert Kwok in Tenko?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Fucking right he was.
ENGRISH PRIZNERZ
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

No, but Bert Kwouk was.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Fuck off Bert (Kwouk).

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:38, Reply)

He was in one of the best Bond films

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:40, Reply)

He was in two, I think - or more.
He's one of Goldfinger's henchmen as well as being one of the volcano base henchmen in You Only Live Twice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I didn't know he was in YOLT
But Goldfinger is probably my favourite, either that or Goldeneye.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Goldeneye is good
particularly the brutal fight that he has with Sean Bean at the end.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

And Xenia is rather tasty.,,

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Famke Janssen?
mmmmmm

edit: hang on, do you mean the other one?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Aye, I do mean Famke
Lucky bastard
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:23, Reply)

her stunt double for that was a woman called Eunice who won Gladiators
interesting eh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I remember her
Stupid name stuck with me!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Channel 4, early 90s
The Word, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Passengers, Roseanne, Golden Girls, Naked City, Cheers, Desmonds, Blossom.

Ace.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Golden Girls is not ace.
I'd rather have a golden shower - off the cast of Golden Girls - than watch that shit ever again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I always imagine I'm going to be like the tall one in that, but less well dressed.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

I'll be like her mum

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)

haha!
All fiesty and mean looking?
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)

And smelling iffy
and chunnering away with "It was Liverpool, nineteen nine'y faw..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:37, Reply)

It was ace when I was 12
Time may have faded its charms.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I don't watch much actual TV
As I stream most of what I watch. But if I am sat in front of the TV it's usually Discovery Channel.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Why do you have Sky if you don't watch much TV?

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Other housemates like the movie and sports channels.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

One of my housemates always has the Discovery Channel on when I get home
And always offers to change channel. He doesn't seem to get I'm interested in it too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

He's probably just being polite.
Have you told him you actually like this stuff?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Every single time, aye

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Then he's an idiot.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Yep
Harmless though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I finally caught the series finale of Glee last night
It wasn't very good. The new series is going to Sky, and frankly they're welcome to it.

I suppose I have to say BBC1, as it's the only channel that has programmes I make a point of watching (Match of the Day, Doctor Who, SCD, Apprentice) since Shameless went downhill.

Good morning, everyone.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:51, Reply)

You watch Glee?
Oh dear.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:52, Reply)

You like ska
We're even
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:56, Reply)

You can fuck right off with this Madness.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Ska is decent, manly music.
And Mozart, Rachmaninov etc is for those with culture. I.e. me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I've seen people dancing to Ska
Presumably when you go to the zoo and watch a monkey spazzing out, you think that's manly too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Not really, because monkeys aren't hominins.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Nor are people who listen to Ska

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

You're an Embarrassment

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Not just an embarrassment, a living endorsement.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

You two are so cute
It must be love
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

You're just jealous.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I am a bit
*pisses around The Luggage*

HE WAS MINE FIRST
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:22, Reply)

This is getting weird.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Welcome to B3ta baby

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Wha?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Nahh, we're not Lovestruck.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

He can't talk, he listens to Glee
I listen to all sorts, playlists are rarely dull. My randomburn was quite spectacularly mental this year.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I watched Glee the other day for the first time, they went to new york and two people kissed which losed them the show and then they were in some coffee shop and I donno what that meant but it seamed to be important.
Is the joke that they're blatently miming?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:54, Reply)

There are many, many jokes
That is only the tip of the sequinned iceberg
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I need someone with boobs to give me a hug because I'm feeling like shit.
I am the world's worst at coping with being ill.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Even if you don't like Lemsip, it will make you feel better.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I've tried it and it doesn't.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Hmm, that's really shit then
Sorry Blousie, that's all I have! Unless you can get away with having a hot Toddy at work?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Buy it from a pharmacist instead.
They removed the good ingredient (pseudo-ephedrine) from Lemsip on general sale, out of fear that it could be synthesised into an amphetamine-like substance, and replaced it with the far less effective phenylephrine.
Pharmacy-strength Lemsip, only available from pharmacies, still contains pseudo-ephedrine, which not only works better but also makes you feel pretty good too.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Ooo! interesting!
I'll look into that. Thanks.

What do I ask the pharmacist for?
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Sex.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I think it is branded as Pharmacy-Strength Lemsip.
Just make sure that pseudoephedrine is listed in the active ingredients and try not to look like you are buying it to manufacture illegal drugs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

that is quite interesting
and I will try and remember that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I like this new person
they seem to not be a cunt at all.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

MAKES A CHANGE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)

too fucking right
I also like his username
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Not too shabby for a lurker.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)

and strangely, clearly not Bert
there's a lesson to be learned here. If you seem like a massive weirdo, or your first post is a controversial rant then you will not be well received. Act like a normal person and you will.

I am reassured that we have not all turned into horrible suspicious bastards after all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Aw shucks...
*sniffs* That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.
And on b3ta this is about as high as praise can get.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:51, Reply)

*gives massive hugs*

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Thanks petal : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Do small-ish moobs count?
If so, *glomps*
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Cheers Luggage!
Moobs can be comforting too.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

BBC4
It has about one or two programmes per week that I am interested in. This is ideal for me as it is about as much as I can manage without
a) getting annoyed with how poor TV is
b) falling asleep.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

The mong who managed to crash his car this morning blocking the bridge
ALT: Babestation for BOOBIES
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I saw a bit of Babestation for the first time recently
it was one of the most unpleasant things I've ever seen.

Two vacuous mingers trying to act sexy and failing while rubbing themselves not particularly near their genitals.

The video of that guy getting his head cut off was sexier.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I agree with lines 1 to 3 of this post
due to the forth and your beard i can only assume that you are a member of the Taliban
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

haha
that one was over-exaggeration for comic effect. Something that the Taliban has never managed to grasp.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

The coach but it's here now and we're off on year 3 & 4's
Trip to Cardiff.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

make sure you hold hands with your buddy
and do as teacher says
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Otherwise we'll make you walk boy girl boy girl!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

So far four of them feel sick and we've barely left the car park!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Punch them in the face.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

But they're so small! You monster

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Stop showing them your malformed penis then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

How else will he get them to suck it if not by offering them a "sherbert dip"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Hey! They deserve a treat they were good last week.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)

*yawn*
Can someone motivate me please?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)

*fetches nipple clamps*
Hold still
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Do some work or I will come over there and force myself on you.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)

*works like a feckless Greek civil servant*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Luckily I look like a 46 year old Greek woman.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

you aren't anywhere near hairy enough

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Well not on the bits you can see.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

you don't know which bits I've seen

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Al gazzed you the photos didn't he?

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:51, Reply)

he gazzes me everything
I'm his conscience
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I can't think of anything that would make me want to do less work.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I'm not doing any work

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

your slimy desperation knows no bounds

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

It's boundaries lie on the edge of the penis.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Thanks for that Vippers.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)

not a dig at you my dear

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Yeah Vippers you woman hating Taliban bastard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Ignore him
he has hair like Beiber.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

sadly, it turns out this is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Oh fuck off you twat

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)

;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Kill yourself. Go on - do it.
For the good of mankind, remove yourself from this mortal coil.

Ideally by falling under a steamroller.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

That must look horrific
when it actually happens.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)

You wouldn't say that if it was NakedApe doing it.
The tears of relief would blur your eyes anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Watch "The Beast of War" an army chap gets run over my a tank
alternatively see "Who framed Roger rabbit" for another angle
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)

My Father went the same

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I can tell you exactly what it looks like
There are two examples I can think of in which fine American character actors are flattened by a steamroller, in films made in adjacent years, in fact. Although in neither case was it fatal. Points for naming the actors and films in question. Ask Monty if you're struggling. He's into film.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

A Fish Called Wanda
Kevin Kline
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

That's one
You twat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)

yeah, but I don't know the other one
doesn't a guy get run over by a steamroller in Austin Powers?

not that I think that is the answer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Um, possibly, yeah, can't remember the incident though
That's not the one I was thinking of - as you correctly surmise, presumably having worked out that A Fish Called Wanda was made in 1987 and the Powers movies in 1997, 1999 and 2002.

Incidentally, have you noticed that you can chart a direct correlation between the quality of the Austin Powers films and the hotness of their leading ladies?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

that depends on which you think is best, and who you think is fittest
I fucking love Heather Graham.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

She is amazing, but Liz Hurley is rather fantastic too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

true
but then, aside from her voice and personality, you would nail Beyonce as well.


That's reminded me (for some reason) the other day we were talking about film remakes and I mentioned The Thing as an example of a good original and remake.

They're only fucking remaking it again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

You're kidding
I'm not sure which is more distressing, the idea of trying to improve upon The Thing or the suggestion that you'd be willing to throw it up Beyonce.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I'd throw it up Beyonce.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I know, there is literally nothing that could be improved about The Thing
it's a perfect film.

Not sure why you are surprised by the other bit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Cos she munts
EDIT: agreed about The Thing, I bet they're thinking that throwing a shitload of money at the FX will make it better. What was really terrifying about it was the tension - and once you know what's coming there's no point. Plus they'll never be able to top the stomach-jaws.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

naa, she's alright
I wouldn't include her in a list, but that goes for a list of celebrities I wouldn't pork as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

the scene with the dogs was brilliant as well
disgusting, scary and quite convincing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Exactly
The only way to redo The Thing is to totally revamp it, as Carpenter did. In which case it might as well be any other generic horror film.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

good news
imdb says this:
This film will actually serve as a prequel to the 1982 movie The Thing, as the film will detail the events that took place in the Norwegian camp from that film. According to the screenwriter, painstaking care has been taken to assure that the prequel will take into account all the details about the Norwegians and their camp as seen in the original movie. The movie will end where the original film begins. However, other sources say that this movie will also continue where the original story ended.

The reason the movie has the same title as the first film is because the filmmakers felt that adding a subtitle such as "The Thing: Begins", "The Thing: Origins" and so forth, did not sound as reverential as just simply naming it "The Thing".
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

it's got the girl who plays Ramona in Scott Pilgrim in it
which I watched last night, and hence looked up on imdb
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)

What did you make of the Pilgrim?
I enjoyed it greatly, myself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I fucking love it
it was my second viewing, to make sure I liked it as much as I thought, and I did. Very much. I think it has leapt into my favourite films.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Yeah I thought it was great
A second watching sounds like a plan though. It's the only film in which I haven't found Jason Schwartzman to be enormously objectionable.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

he is kind of annoying though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Yeah but he's meant to be annoying in this film
and he stays on just the right side of amusing with it. Everything else I've seen him in I've just wanted to punch him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

there is also the fact that he explodes in this. Always good.
Like Meatloaf in 51st State.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Serves him right for being called The Lizard
What the fuck was up with the names in that film?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Oh well that's not so bad then
But what can really have happened in the Norwegian camp that would be so different from the 1982 film?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)

no idea
at least it sounds like they aren't just blundering in with a remake though, so hopefully it won't be too bad.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)

My main remake headache currently is Akira.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Beyonce is fucking hot and i bet she's filth as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

^^This

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Basically, this
First film - very funny, at the time, before the catchphrases became incredibly annoying, Liz Hurley, DAYUM.

Second film - treading old ground but still funny, Heather Graham, definitely would.

Third film - tired, repetitive bullshit, unquestionably the point at which Mike Myers' career not so much jumped the shark as Evel Kneivel'd the Atlantic. Beyonce fucking Knowles.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I seem to recall watching the third and laughing my arse off
but I was being forcefed a huge quantity of strong homegrown gear.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

If you were stoned to the point of thinking you were 5 years old, it probably was funny

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I think that is what happened

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I love her breasts mainly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

my mate's wife looks a lot like her.
breasts too. He's a lucky man.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Wasn't it Christopher Lloyd in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Morning you
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Yes it was.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

All your points are belong to b3th
Morning darling, very well played
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Internet validation!
I love that film. I particularly relate to the cartoon woman who looks like Hessica Rabbit from behind, but has a face that could melt glass.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Ricardo Montalban in Naked Gun?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I think the fall and the marching band killed him
Good point though, hadn't considered that one. I did say American actor, however.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Same year as Fish Called Wanda too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Morning Monty how are you today?
has someone mashed up your breakfast for you yet?

I said, HAS SOMEONE MASHED UP YOUR BREAKFAST FOR YOU YET?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Problem with that idea is that a steamroller moves slowly enough for him to get up and dodge it after his fall
Unless the fall was steep enough to kill him, in which case the steamroller is redundant anyway. We need to calculate the optimum height from which he should fall in order to break his legs and ideally a couple of vertebrae, so that running and crawling away are out of the question before the steamroller gets there.

Hang on, I'll do a graph.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)

: (((((((((((((((((

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

In other news, my tranny profile was accepted for beautifulpeople.com!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I must have a crack at that for the lols.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Brilliant
You're actually trying to attract vain, self-obsessed heterosexual men online.

Apart from Monty.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

As a girl or boy?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I posted the entire profile as female
With the picture of me from here, and was accepted.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

perverts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I think I might try the same as a man and with a pic of me with short hair.

( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)

do it!
then you can both tell journalists
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I'll check my old photos when I get home tonight.
I've always said I'd make a handsome guy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

that is outstanding

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

You should tell a journalist - seriously.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Hmm, tempting...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

you seriously should do it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Shall probably type something up this weekend

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Do it whilst the story's still 'hot'.
I hate to say it but I'd imagine you'll fare best with The Sun, Mirror or Star with this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I'll get started at lunch

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

also, get it newslettered while you are at it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Just submitted it to there

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I absolutely agree
When they've just been in the papers for rejecting uggos, you'll be all over the tabloid press in no time. You might get to meet Kelvin McKenzie!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

*sharpens knife*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Tell him if he prints the story
you'll let him have a go.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Monty: Challenge Accepted
Did you know Throbbing Gristle are reactivating Industrial Records and will be releasing their back catalogue on vinyl?

www.boingboing.net/2011/06/22/throbbing-gristle-re.html

I saw that and imagined it would be right up your alley.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Like a sailor's cock.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

You have succeeded. Good work, thanks.
They were at times unlistenable, but they were so ahead of their time. I have posted this before, but Industrial records are reputedly the only instance of a record label giving its name to a genre of music. I've thought long and hard about this and only Motown is a possible other one - but technically it's not as Motown's just a particular style of soul, innit?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

If you played the man in the street a Mowtown Record and a Stax Record
he'd probably not know which was on which label, and he'd probably think they were the same sort of genre.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)

yeah, but if you played the man in the street a U2 record he might say it was good.
The man in the street is no indication of anything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I've just looked out of my window
and there isn't a man in my street.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

You live in Amazonia

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Or Stoke Newington, lesbo central.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)

No
I just live in a Cul de Sac in a suburb. We don't get a lot of passing traffic.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

You are Beth Jordache

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Oh I really hope that's true

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Taf5v3M0yr8
From 0.50 - Let's ask the man in the street what he thinks...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I agree.
So unless you can think of any others the claim re Industrial Records appears to be right. I keep thinking 'surely not'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Tone
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I thought you had something there but the genre is ska and 2Tone's just a style of it, no?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I'm not certain, but I'm fairly confident that is where the name 2tone came from...
But I usually hear of Ska and 2-tone mentioned next to one another, so I'm not sure.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

It is.
But it's like Motown in that you could recognise a 2Tone-style song - but the genre is ska much as Motown's just a style of soul.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Ahh, I get you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I was going to suggest that
Also, Acid Jazz Records (perhaps?), Blue Beat Records, er...
I'm sure there are others
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I suppose you'll tell me off for pointing out that Rick Rubin's American Recordings label only produces American records

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)

that's not a genre though is it?
although if it was it would have stuff like Bruce Springsteen and John Mellancamp in it. by which I mean shite.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Thanks Rainier
(must find a new way of saying that)

Agreed - if American was a genre, it would be astonishingly varied in terms of quality. NIN and Justin Bieber under one tentpole.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Isn't Bieber a Canuck?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Is he really?
Is this some kind of hair telepathy?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Which continent is Canada in you dribbling spacker?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

NORTH America you imbecile

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Fucking hell, if we're exapnding the genre to include the whole American continent then we'll have to include all those awesome Brazilian bands
Like Sepultura and...

Give me a minute
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Os Mutantes?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Er, yeah
I was TOTALLY just about to say them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Soulfly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

One decent album - AKA the album Sepultura should have made after Roots - does not a great band make

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Yeah my favourite genre of music is 'American' you fucking 'tard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)

We all know that's not true
Bowie's English innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)