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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Naughtiest kid you know/knew?One of the cunts tried to trip me up 'cause I gave him a timeout this morning.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:29,
107 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
only obvious to you, sweetcheeks ;)(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:33,
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God you're such a fucking flirtI'm not that easy, you know*
*I am, see you behind the bike sheds
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:38, Reply)
One guy who was in my class in senior school is in jail for shooting someoneDoes this count?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:34,
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Depends who the someone isIf it was, for example, Gianni Versace then he's probably having the time of his life in there.
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:36, Reply)
Yes that is definitely eligible(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:36,
Reply)
how old is he?I'd say it was my brother. he used to pull some insanely dumb crap. And it infuriated me because he got away with it because he was the youngest.
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:35, Reply)
I don't know any children because I fucking loathe themalso people tend to be suspicious of 30 year old men attempting to befriend their kids.
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Kroney, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:35,
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That's because there was such a thing as summer in the 70sI'm thinking of starting a campaign to get the word "June" removed from the dictionary and replaced with "shithouse"
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:42, Reply)
My sister in law probably wouldn't appreciate that.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:42,
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I was about to follow that up with"including all women called June" but stopped myself in case there were any B3tans with that name.
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Shithouse Sarpong is a very fitting name(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:44,
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HahahaI'm calling her that from now on. Although shithouses everywhere may complain about the slur on their ability to form a coherent sentence
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:45, Reply)
She does always sounds pissed, doesn't she?I fucking hate her
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:46,
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She's one of those people who just beggars beliefShe can barely talk and looks fucking terrible, and yet somehow landed a job as a TV presenter. I don't know whether to despair or be reassured that there's hope for all of us yet. See also; Vernon Kay
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:50, Reply)
Mikita Oliver.I saw her pissing in the street by carling academy s few years ago.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:52,
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Oh God, yesand that fucking plum she used to be on with who thinks he is clever. Simon Amstel or something?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:53,
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I'm going to stick up for AmstelA snidey little badly-dressed fuckwit he might be, but he is quite funny
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:59, Reply)
He is a smarmy little cunt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:01,
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merely being gay or jewish do not make you funny.there are many who should take note: Alan Carr, Woody Allen etc.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:14,
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She gets special dispensation for a) being tall and b) fucking off when it became apparent that no-one wanted her any more.
George Lamb
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:54, Reply)
No, she is fucking shiteLamb I have no issue with. He can stay
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:54,
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The only point of Lamb that I can see is to serve as a reminder of how bad TV has becomeBig Brother's Little Brother was exactly his level
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:59, Reply)
I think mr b3th would have qualified for this title.As a youngster in Kent, back in the 50s, he managed to blow up a phone box, set fire to the police station roof, flood the cricket pitch, and turn all the ducks in the local pond purple.
His mother wouldn't hear a word against him, saying he was just high-spirited.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:42,
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Have you married Dennis the Menace?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:43,
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It's entirely possibleHe also used to take apart electrical things and reassemble them, to figure out how they worked. Surprisingly, he became an engineer.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:44,
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OK, I'll bite. How does one turn all the ducks in a pond purple?*looks around for Jeff*
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:44, Reply)
potassium permanganate in the water.I think that's what it was. Potassium something, anyway.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:46,
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It would have beenIt is bright purple
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:46,
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That's the stuffMy Dad used it to turn his school swimming pool purple.
He also blew up a water tower.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:47,
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I call bullshitThis is the advantage of being young before the invention of photography, you can make up whatever you want
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:44, Reply)
The Beano Album 1965 is not corroboration(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:47,
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He would have been a responsible grown up by then.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:48,
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Would you believewe met on a website forum?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:50,
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Forum, the, ah, gentlemen's publication.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:53,
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I seeSo b3th was norking it up on there and Mr b3th found her on the vinegar strokes?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:54,
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OI!Actually, that may be slightly less embarrassing than the truth.
www.togs.org
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:56,
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My father reactivated and fired an ornamental cannon in the University of Toronto library,firing burning loo roll into the air.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:48,
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mr b3th has just told me he also fired a pistol loaded with too much powder, and blew a hole in the back gate.I'm guessing that would have been his dad's service gun.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:50,
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If I'm reading this right (and I like to think that I am)Mr b3th used his Dad's weapon to blow your back doors open.
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:52, Reply)
Graham Jones.He had a massive ginger 'fro and was a science genius - but also a psychopath. He was expelled from primary school when he fired a bicycle spoke into the air using a home-made crossbow. It went high into the air and ended up in some poor child's head.
He was in a couple of my brother's classes - in Technical Drawing he was seen injecting himself with a propelling pencil. He tried to burn down the canteen block by feeding burning paper into the air vents.
He smoked about 20 a day when he was 13 and is now probably either working for NASA or in prison/dead.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:47,
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Oh man - flashbackI made a crossbow out of a bic pen, a hair clip and a hair slide when I was 15. I need to raid Mrs Cow's hair things and make another one
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:48,
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You must have some examples of your own Shenanigans from when you were a wee nipper?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:49,
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My brother shot me in the arse with a pistol once.I was a well-behaved child, I'm afraid. I read voraciously - that's all I remember doing apart from playing with toy soldiers.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:51,
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Monty this is something we have in commonMy brother shot me in the leg with granddads air rifle when we were young. I was quite good until about 9 then I went a bit special after that.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:54,
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Would you believeI was impeccably well-behaved and never touched cigarettes or drugs of any kind until I was 18. Shortly thereafter I moved to Norwich and the wheels came right the fuck off the wagon.
(, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:01, Reply)
They were stolen by locals who marvelled at this so called "wheel" weren't they?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:01,
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I still have my wheels.Never done anything remotely naughty, apart from the beer thing. At the ripe old age of nearly 38, I've never had so much as a drag of anything I shouldn't have, and the strongest drug I've ever had is morphine. Unfortunately, I had to be very ill to get that , and they wouldn't let me take any home with me when I left the hospital.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:05,
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Not really interested, to be honest.Although for some reason, there are days when I would absolutely kill for a fag, and can even taste them. I am so weird.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:09,
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Sometimes God tells me to kill fags.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:23,
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Some of my best 'work' on here is when I've not had any sleep at all.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:30,
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I would imagine it brings out the more surreal quality in your jokes.(
girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:36,
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I've been on here too longI could have sworn you called him a wee nigger.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:54,
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Racist cow! Back to teaching!(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:55,
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my mate Marilynshe was doing drugs, drinking and having sex in her early teens, lost her virginity at 12, had me sneak out of her parents house when we were 13 and she fucked some guy on the back of his car while I was in it.
we didn't talk much after that.
Still don't, in fact. She just doesn't get the hint that I don't want to be her friend.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:07,
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She's straightened up now. Good job, same boyfriend for a while, probably 8 years or so.But once you get that image in your head that she's fucking trash, it's really hard to get it out.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:12,
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my best man and the singer from my bandit wasn't naughtiness so much as misadventure though. He's got some fucking funny stories
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:13,
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Your band has a signer?Do you do a lot of gigs for the deaf?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:14,
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*gesticulates*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:14,
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No, but when they've finished, the audience to a man wishes to God that they were.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:15,
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The weather man on local radio has just confirmedthat the U2 gig at Glastonbury will be 'wet'.
I thin kwe could have all told him that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:18,
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'fucking shite' would be a more accurate forecast(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:19,
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Did he also mention that there was a high chance of it being 'fucking bent and for cunts'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:22,
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that's the general Glastonbury forecastthis year and for the past couple at least
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:23,
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Make that 19 years and I agree wholeheartedly.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:23,
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Unless you're planning on passing some of them on, this might well be your most pointless post ever.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:14,
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fuck youwww.b3ta.com/questions/cringe/
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:18,
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AAARGHI was reading the stories, got to the colonoscopy one, read the comments, clicked on the "Anal warts" picture....
MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, THEY DO NOTHING!
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:58,
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what are you doing here?isn't it your stag weekend?
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:17,
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it's just after lunch on a fridaythat makes it still time for work
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:19,
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Lies!No work should be done on a Friday afternoon.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:24,
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and then it's more like giving pain pills out to shut them up(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:26,
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depends on what work you do.my company is not in the best of states, so I can't just fuck about all the time.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:27,
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No one's turned up. He's currently playing the 'Withnail Drinking Game' on his own and sobbing.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:19,
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It's some pitiful student wankery,whereby you watch the vastly-overrated film 'Withnail and I' and you have to match Richard 'Richard E Grant' Grant's appallingly overplayed character drink for drink. It's, like, sooooooo funny?
(it's not funny)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:26,
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Well it is a bitbut then I'm a wanker student so this might explain it
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:41,
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does it get funnier as you get drunk[er]?I don't think I've ever played a game like that. Tried to play power hour once, it was a bit lame.
We usually just play cards.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:45,
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The other day I was watching some crimewatch type show and someone broke into a nursery and stole all the legos and made a big mess, and the teacher they interviewed kept on saying the theif was 'naughty' which made me laugh.YOU NAUGHTY THEIF, YOU'VE BROKEN INTO OUR PROPERTY, VANDALISED THE PLACE, STOLEN CHILDREN'S TOYS AND GENERALLY BROKEN THE LAW !!! YOU'RE ON CRIMEWATCH NOW YOU NAUGHTY MAN !
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:43,
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I was just thinking this morning how there are loads of words people rarely use, like danger and bewareYOU NAUGHTY GONZ.
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:46,
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Most children are naughty to some extentMind you I was shocked yesterday when I popped into a small shop in a nice bit of Oxford, to see it teeming with school-children. No 'three children at a time' sign. Then I realised why. They were abnormally polite- insisted on moving so I could get to the other side, and then two of them said that I could go first in the queue if I wanted. It was like living in Bizarro-world a bit
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:47,
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A girl round my area was picked on for having a birthmark over half her face. One kid actually took her shoes and threw them in the middle of this thorny bush and made her cry.
I felt sorry for her so i helped her get them out.
I wasn't too nice myself. I once split a girls head open after she threw a stone at me and I retaliated with a housebrick.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:52,
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