Poetry corner.
In tribute to my own, soul-baring, heart-wrenching 'emotional hardcore' inspired musings in the last thread, write a really fucking bad poem and post it here.

Points will be awarded for the most wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:31, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hang on,
I've got a book somewhere with all my student poetry in it...

No, wait. No-one deserves that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)

DO IT.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Oh yes. Come on, let's be having you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Really, really not.
I had quite an angsty phase as a teenager. While this would undoubtedly be absolutely hilarious to rake over now, I think I'm going to pass.

However, I could write some more limericks. They were fun. I'm still waiting for Aber to surface so she can get the one I wrote for her.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I did love that limerick you wrote for me.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

*beams*
I love doing rhyming poems. Limericks are especially fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I have something similar, though it's more a blog than a book..
..from about six years ago. I've just had a quick re-read and I could now safely transport He-Man around Eternia. What was I thinking? And what's the feckin' password for that account so I can delete the bloody thing?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

You are Battle Cat?
Silly Bill. Cringer couldn't carry He Man anywhere. Minus five points.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Oh man, 80s nostalgia fail

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)

You needed SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I used to have a little blue book of stuff but I can only remember one poem and it's not emo.

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Oh Blousie
If you wrote poetry and it's not emo, you're doing it wrong.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:39, Reply)

'There once was a girl from Darjeeling'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Did she have a very strange feeling?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Did it start in her toes
and go up to her nose
and leave her in ecstasy reeling?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:55, Reply)

No
She laid on her back
and opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Something I remember my brother writing
Love is precious, Love is kind,
When in the depths of your heart, you find
Someone to treasure, someone to hold
Someone to cuddle as the nights grow cold.

There was a shitload more of it, but I can't remember. The reason I remember this still is because he wrote it on the cupboard door of his room, which later became mine. He's still just as bent now, having gone back to his fiancee who was cheating on him with her ex, the father of her child.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Those are Marseille lyrics aren't they?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Different brother

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Monty! Monty!
You'll appreciate this LOADS. Went to the doctor's this morning to talk about my frequent dizzy spells, and he thinks the likeliest cause is Labyrinthitis. In the spirit of my condition, and catering to your long-established proclivities, my poem runs thusly;

DANCE MAGIC DANCE

(everyone else can join in now)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Labyrinthitis helmets bouncing off the roof of my mouth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Sorry to hear you've come over a little queer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I bet Hervé wasn't pleased about it either.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I read that as Hergé, and immediately cast Darth as the boy reporter.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Thank god I'm not the only one who made that mistake

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:55, Reply)

*bad eyesight fives*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:56, Reply)

*misses*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)

*misses*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)

mindpiss

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Ouch

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Just be glad I didn't try fistbumps
or you might have a black eye.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:02, Reply)

fistbumps motorboating
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:03, Reply)

motorboating jogging
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)

And you, pal.
illness only gets you so much leeway.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Don't make me sing the rest of the song
I'll do it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:07, Reply)

oh, you wish.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)

He does have that queer little quiff, after all.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

There's something about TinTin.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Oh coffee cup
You are empty
With a trace of black gunge
Like my soul it seems
Awaiting a refill
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Darth, give sportscow his login back, this isn't funny
soul arse
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Very well done our kid

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Danke
My friend's Dad told his 8 year old son yesterday, he's not taken it well at all, as you can imagine. I'll be going up to see him on Monday, not exactly looking forward to it, but feels wrong to not say goodbye.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Better that you do go I think mate
You'll regret it otherwise. But it must be rubbish for you. My offer stands.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Aye, it's not going to be the most enjoyable, but I know it's only right that I should
Cheers fella, I do appreciate the offer.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)

No worries mate. I'll keep my nose out now, unless I hear from you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Here you go. Hope it's crap enough.
If only love could last forever, not fly away at light of dawn,
I promise I would leave you never, I’d even give up porn.

You are the light that hides my darkness, lifting me up so I am saved,
For you I’ll be your Captain Jack Harkness, all dangers to be braved.

But that’s not likely, really, is it? I am such a low born scum
So I sit here lubricated by tears, touching myself till I come.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)

WooHoo!

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)

wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.

*awaits points*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:52, Reply)

You can't see me
standing in the rain
You can't touch me
or feel my pain
O the sweet sting
of the razor's edge
The blade shapes my soul
like a privet hedge
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Oh internet, why do you taunt me?
A bigger cock or matching breasts
Puts my money to the test
Nigerian monies I am owed
An 18 year old to shoot my load
Viagra pills all blue not green
One night in Paris to be seen
My credit cards maxed from the bank
I'm off, it's time for one more wank
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

'The Dungeon Master' by M Boyce,
Our eyes met across the board - so close and yet somehow an eternity away.
I was a third level Paladin, and you an elf maiden. We could never be together, and yet....
You rolled the spasticated dice.
I summoned up Thri'''n'gor, my spirit guardian, and begged for his help in winning your heart.
'You can start by squeezing that whitehead on your nose, washing your lank, greasy hair, turning off the Iron Maiden for a second and basically stop being a fucking wanker', came the reply.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I like this
Even though I may have conformed to this stereotype at some point in the far distant past.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I have a hazy memory of a short poem I did.
Something like.........

Ecstasy is the point at which
Our hearts collide

And then something about sighing.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Ecstasy is the point at which
I gurn like a loon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:59, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

sighing man, can you really HEAR this? God, I love you. Have you got any spare water?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Ok then ...... "Do not waste your time on jealousy
sometimes you're ahead. Sometimes you're behind.
But the race is long, and in the end
it's only with yourself"

/points for knowing where it comes from WITHOUT googling, you cheating fucking shysters.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Was it a fortune cookie?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:00, Reply)

probably was, originally.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I used to like that.
But then, my musical taste largely sucks.

If you can call that music.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

If you can call the fucking Streets music
you most definitely can call that music.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You can't call The Streets music
and nor can anyone else. Ever.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:04, Reply)

It was the Desiderata of its generation
released by someone of a completely different generation.

Who thought it was acceptable for Ewan McGregor to sing in public.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)

That was by no means the worst thing about Moulin Rouge

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I'll ghave to take your word for it
I've never seen it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Ignore him, it's awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)

It's really not, though
It's fucking abysmal. It's basically the Jive Bunny principle - ruin as many songs as possible in two hours - gaffa-taped to the plot of Shakespeare in Love
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)

I hate windsurfers,
What a stupid lot they are,
With their stupid lumps of fibreglass,
Stuck on their stupid car.

I hate windsurfers,
They do it standing up,
They could do it in a ten-foot hole,
They'd still be stupid.

I hate windsurfers,
In a totally irrational way,
It's probably something to do with their wet-suits,
Or maybe not, I can't say...

I hate windsurfers,
They're the sort that get me down,
I hope they fall in their reservoirs,
And swim a bit then drown.

I hate windsurfers,
La la la la,
I hate waterskiers as well,
Dah dee dah dah dah.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Not my work.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You are Vipros AICMFP

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Funnily I expected it to be him
until I got to the end and checked the username
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I have nothing against windsurfers.
those wankers who take their kayaks in the surf though...I often want to go up to one and ask how they feel about everyone else at the beach thinking they are a wanker.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Vippers!
Did you see this?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I did not
she's quite hot. I'm also amazed that she's managed to surf a wave that small.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Now JeffTheSheepFucker is it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Related to the last thread. Not mine.
I climbed on the back of a giant albatross
What flew through a crack in the cloud
To a place where happiness reigned all year round
And music played ever so loud
(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I think I have a couple of things from my emo phase as a teenager...
Have this!

It's been so long
Since I sat down
And freed my thoughts
With creative frown

The last few years
While brief in span
Have meant a lot
To this young man

To come so far
And then look back
And see that I
Have found my track

And as I sit
And look ahead
With hope I see
New paths to tread
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:02, Reply)

"Bokes"

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)

My point precisely.
I typed that out from memory.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I knew it would be a sympathy boke.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

You should see the other stuff.
In fact...

I am broken
In a state of disrepair
Could someone
Please fix me? I'm beginning to despair

I need someone to build me up
And put back what once was lost
"For what's left of me fits in a cup"
My only witty riposte

I wasn't always like this
All smashed up, broken up bad
I existed in a state of bliss
Unaware of the word sad

But something happened then
That I did not intend
I was destroyed, nixed and broken
To be left in disrepair

Haha!

I found my own deviant art page- there's loads of this shit!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)

You're still young enough to remember all of it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)

This is both a good thing and a bad thing.
I might publish them on Amazon Kindle...
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Right then
I froze your tears and made a dagger
And stabbed it in my cock forever
It stays there like Excalibur
Are you my Arthur? Say you are

Can't remember the rest. Powerful stuff though, yeah? And double meanings, did you get the double meanings?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:04, Reply)

it means you're hot for the cock.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I've picked the wrong crowd to quote to, haven't I
If this was from Partridge it would have fucking KILLED
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)

The Office is fucking shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Agreed.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

No it isn't

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Comedy is supposed to make people laugh
Not cringe so hard you end up giving yourself a spasm.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:12, Reply)

This is why I can't watch Some Mothers Do Ave Em.
Pile of steaming shit that was.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Oooh b3thy!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)

That made me laugh more than every episode of that dross I have ever seen, all added together.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)

*Does a whoopsie*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)

It did make me laugh. Very hard.
The first time I watched it with Ms Foxtrot, she was cringeing furiously and I was pissing myself. I'd recently quit my office job at the time.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)

That may explain a lot.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:21, Reply)

The same goes for Ben Stiller films.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:19, Reply)

There's just one problem with that.
Zoolander is a fantastic film.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)

It's really, really not.
Neither is Meet the Parents, Meet The Fockers, Something About Mary, etc
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:23, Reply)

As is Dodgeball
and Starsky and Hutch
and Meet the Parents (only the first one, mind)
and others that I can't think of right now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Mystery Men

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Ugh.
I think I managed ten minutes of that film before throwing it away in disgust.

And I fucking love Hank Azaria.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)

It is fucking terrible, isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I had such high hopes.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)

High apple pie in the sky hopes?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)

you are both idiots
it's splendid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Thank you, old boy
Fantastic film. Endlessly rewatchable. How's tricks?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)

indeed
not too bad, despite a time of upheaval. I watched the new Star Trek again yesterday (brilliant), Superbad (enjoyable) then my mrs made me watch Bridesmaids (mostly shit) and a bit of a film called Just like Heaven (cheesy, girly crap)

you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:32, Reply)

How are you fitting this film marathon into your time of upheaval?
Which I assume is related to your forthcoming nuptials. Finished the secondment yet?

Am OK thanks mate. Had a brilliant weekend of dancing but am now left with the malaise of not much to look forward to
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)

naa, nuptials are mostly sorted
mrs had a minor op yesterday so I was working from home. I've got an interview tomorrow, and mrs has one on Monday. On the plus side, I am also getting a tattoo on Monday.

I am familiar with that malaise. you have my sympathy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Only 51 days til InFest!
Yeah...

That's pretty upheaval-y. Is your interview internal or a "fuck you lot, I'm off" job? I seem to remember Mrs V has little choice but to go looking for work. Is she OK post-op?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)

mine is the latter.
she's actually had more success than expected, quicker than expected. This thing on Monday was totally out of the blue. Hopefully it will be excellent news.

Yeah, she's fine. Just got a couple of additional holes at the moment. She had gone pink from being smeared with iodine or something which was quite amusing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Excellent sympathy for her plight there
Set the tone for wedded life nice and early, like.

Glad to hear it, on all counts. What tattoo are you getting?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:44, Reply)

a picture of Roy Orbison on my arsecheek
or possibly this: www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/tattoo.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Stupid work firewall means I can only take your first answer

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)

good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:06, Reply)

New Star Trek is excellent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Dodgeball is superb
Starsky and Hutch is shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)

You want a man to put his thingybob in your urethra?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)

tears jobbie

Darth Foxtrot Kroney
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)

There once was a hot cup of tea.
Steaming and smelling of glee,
Though I was a bit wasted,
and when I did taste it,
I realised it wasn't actually tea.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Neils poem
If the world were an orange,
It would be much too small you know.
( Peej, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:11, Reply)

In his post at the top of this thread,
"Write bad poetry, please" Monty said.
And so we all tried,
But he never replied.
Perhaps he's fucked off back to bed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I wouldn't be surprised.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Hear the words I sing
War's a horrid thing.
But still I sing, sing, sing.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:24, Reply)

:)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I want you in my room.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)

*Buys DSLR*

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I was thinking about the song?
"Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room, we'll spend the night together, together in my room boom boom boom boom...."
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I recall some I wrote that's pretty bad
Once I made a constellation for you
star and supernova, thus and so
some day
I will find a place to stand
to see it once again.

What was I fucking on? I like this one, though

Sometimes
I sit and think of you
and my heart swells
until I must surely burst;
at last the music of a thousand horns
informs me that the lights have changed.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Machadaynu Machadaynu Machadaynu daynu daynu
Amadeynu Amadeynu Amadeynu deynu deynu
Rhodatehtron Rhodatehtron Rhodatehtron tehtron tehtron.
(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)

It's speaking in tongues!
I need an old priest and a young priest! DA POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)

If you want the answer, just Look Around You.

(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer
(McChinaman banned, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:37, Reply)

*Copy writes lyrics, so they can't be stolen*
And if they are.

SNAP!

I will attack. And YOU don't want that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)

damn you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Quality I possess something I'm fresh
When my voice goes through the rest
Of the microphone that I am holdin'
Copywritten lyrics so they can't be stolen
If they are snap
Don't need the police to try to save them
Your voice will seize so please stay off my back
Or I will attack and you don't want that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Slip inside the eye of your mind,
Don't you know you might find,
A better place to play.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)

FUCK OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET RIGHT THE FUCK RIGHT FUCKING NOW

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Bender.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

There's no excuse for that Jeff. None.
I hereby demand that your turn over your Maynard.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Well he has yet to sign on the dotted line at the Gate so I fear he'll be off.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Apparently Earnie is off back to Cardiff
so we'll definitely be in the market
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:44, Reply)

The club turned down 3million from Leicester for him
So make a resonable offer and I dare say he'll be scoring goals for you next season.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most.
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
Watch the evening news.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Life
Oh life
Oh liiiiiiiiiiife
Oh life
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Expert texpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)

HE SAID WRITE A POEM, NOT POST OTHER PEOPLE'S LYRICS .GOD THIS THREAD'S DULL

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Start a new thread then nob'ead.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)

It could just be summed up as
"who sung this"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Oooh. Stick you.
Your momma too.
And your daddy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I wrote mine myself.
So ner.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I wrote a fair bit of wanky pot-inspired poetry when a callow, skinny, centre-parted student
Choice lines:

Dulled by autumnal melancholy, I pause:
Inertia creeps over me, like fog. The sky is
Leaden, the drizzle-haze the sand-man's clasp.
The quiet blanket of the air, still, damp,
And lit by lamps, echoes to distant traffic.


The rank fishy waft floating
Down the long straight of King Street,
Shops selling hallal-meat and spices, or
Broken-down bric-a-brac, yellow-paged novels,
Slightly-chipped china, outdated computergames


Archived away, in honeycomb hives
Of catacomb corridors, as statutes,
Judicial and official enmesh me,
I am an academic.


Myriad daydreams and galaxies of emotion,
Vocabularies of affection and alphabets of feeling
Swirl in my head, word-torrents on a
Waterfall of conflicting desires and dreams.



In other words: verbose shite.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Bloody hell, at least mine rhymed...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Christ alive that is horrendous.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Poppet's Lament
there is a hole
in the middle of my soul
it's fifteen inches deep
I miss you Noel
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Why couldn't they all have been this good?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:51, Reply)

because most people are shit at poetry?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yeah bro

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

:)

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Hahahah winner.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Hahaha holy fuck!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 14:26, Reply)