New thread, you gang of knobs
We're all going to drown in the shitness.
Let's have a thread of good things.
Alt: So what?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:43, 128 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good things eh....
Diamonds and rubies, I'm crazy 'bout Bentleys.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Stop that Bruv

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Now you're just
'Takin' over the show'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

ssssssshhhh

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Is it wrong I was quite a fan of them?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Yes it is.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)

No, it's not.
I love them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)

They should have a rap battle with N-Dubz
You and Kristine could be in opposing corners.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Big Brovaz would totally win.
And they're better to look at too. Apart from that one girl who looked about sixty.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I have a shitload of Relentless
I had bacon for breakfast, and I have Chicago town pizzas for lunch.

I'm also not in work after today until Tuesday, so I'm a happy happy man!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I'm going for a pub lunch with djtp at 1pm

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Tell him I said hello
or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Will do, our kid

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Can I just point something out here?
Gonz drinks a lot of relentless. Have you seen the state of Gonz's guts? Y'know, cause and effect. Basically I'm saying relentless will fuck you right into a little ball of cramps and agony, alternating between crippling constipation and uncontrolled shitting-yourself-inside-out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:49, Reply)

energy drinks are for wankers

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Ahem! I have the odd one now and then when needed.
Everything in moderation.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I'm aware
Before today, I've not had it in over 2 years, but I have got an absolute fuckload of stuff to do today, and as a result I can't run at anything but top speed.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I saw this cancer patient who went to McDonalds so I can only conclude that McDonalds is so bad for you that some people with cancer also 'happen' to eat McDonalds.
I'm not saying McDonalds cause cancer, just that if you look at a cancer patient, and they're eating McDonalds, they deffo have cancer, and are eating McDonalds. Look, I'm not linking the two together, there are lots of people without cancer who also eat McDonalds, but you have to admit it's quite bad for you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:24, Reply)

News of the world things all kicking off
Who thinks it'll go under?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)

*fingers crossed*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I doubt it, but I'm old and cynical

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)

15 major advertisers are considering their position.
MUMSNET HAS ALREADY GONE! That's right mumsnet the most influential website in Britain.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I was mildly surprised that Ford were the first to go
Although I'm not sure why...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Fifteen?
Wow, that was quick.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah, well every non news international newspaper
was ringing the CEOs of the companies all last night, it's pretty easy to see they just went "fuck it" they'll get good free publicity by cancelling their contracts.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Now you're talking.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)

It'll only go under if Murdoch wants it to.
Aside from that, there will be some sort of Graham Rix cover-up where some junior employees end up doing a couple of years behind bars on full pay and with a fantastic job to come out of clink to.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)

this is what I think is more likely, unfortunately

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)

For gods sake Roota.
Stop copying me. Have your own opinions.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:50, Reply)

You are my idol

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Pun Idol!
*Phones Cowell to pitch the show*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I quite like the idea in reverse, that the CEOs involved get the sack/resign, and they're made essenchally unemlpoyable for life.
I think a lot of them would rather do a few years.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Possibly, but as was mentioned in the Telegraph earlier,
the problem with throwing employees to the wolves is eventually there's no employee's left.

Looks like Andy Coulson is the one being thrown/about to be thrown at the moment.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I hope they all do HARD TIME

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:51, Reply)

If only there was a way of putting a company in jail.
The individuals involves will all talk about the pressures of people paraail to each other or above each other until no one actually says they're at some sort of 'fault'. It's almost like the whole Anon internet thing where no action can really be taken and to blame it on any individual can be fully blamed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

If I wasn't busy at work, I'd create an ebay auction for NOTW advertising space starting at 0p with no reserve.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Corporate manslaughter is a crime
and the CEO can get jailed for that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Not really applicable here though.
And I love how the other media outlets are crying out like butter wouldn't melt in their mouth.,. They more or less ALL harasse people in the news, horrificly till they resign and give a story. Wouldn't supprise me of any of them have done a "tell your side of the story ! Here is your chance to say your side rather than [someone else] vilifies you"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:18, Reply)

With teh Jo Yeates trials kicking off
would like to think that the general public would begin to see through the tabloids for the depraved and sensationlist wastes of space that they are. Alas I fear there will be little difference in their readership numbers and editorial content.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Hooray for the times when you find cheap unknown foods that are nicer than well known brands.

(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Aldi is excellent for this

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I read the Scandanavian for Value blog and the Lidl Peanut M&M's made my week.
Also Home Bargians luxury chocolate misshapes from Throntons.
(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Home Bargains was excellent
Always used to go there after school, as there was one in Ormskirk town centre.

Pack of Custard creams and a can of Dandelion & Burdock for 35p, awesome.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:51, Reply)

What is your favourite variety of pre-packed sliced bread?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Hovis Thick Wholemeal.

(888777555, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Warburtons Toastie
Super Toastie is pointless for anything but toast.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Is that the bread that comes in fake waxed paper?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Yep

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:16, Reply)

'tis a very nice bread when toasted.
But I can't imagine enjoying it as part of a sarnie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:19, Reply)

it's lovely and fluffy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:22, Reply)

au contraire (or however it is bloody spelt)
Warburton's Toastie, the full size version and not the piddling half size crap, is excellent for fishfinger and also bacon sarnies.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 13:58, Reply)

And chip butties

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Only chippy chips though, I'd say
Cheshire has ruined me, I can't do oven chip butties anymore.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Nah, i can even do Microchip butties

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I've only had Microchips once.
That was when the first came out in the 80s.

They were horrid then, I assume they've improved the taste over the years.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

They're disgusting

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Chips should always come from the chippy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Balls to you.
Some people make very nice chips.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I can (and sometime do) make nice chips myself.
But there is no substitute for chips - from the chippy - with lashing of salt and vinegar on them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:24, Reply)

They are fantastic, but I'd rather any chips than no chips.
Even my mum and dad's chips - which are shit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Micro chips are good for a chip butty when drunk,
I don't think I could eat them sober though.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:26, Reply)

How do your folk make their chips?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Well they used to use a chip pan but I haven't had chips their for years so i dunno.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I keep meaning to have a go making chips fried in beef dripping,
but I'm not sure I want to look at a pan that's got a kilo and a half of solidifed saturated fat in it. I think it'd be glowering back at me with an artery-hardening glare in the morning ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Try
Pura or Crisp and Dry for a traditional chip pan and make sure you have the right potatoes - Cyprus potatoes make excellent chips.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

No, they're still limp, wet and metallic tasting.

( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Hovis Seeds Sensations
the one in the purple packet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:21, Reply)

I've been buying a seeded loaf for a while
But I'm getting bored of it and fancy a change.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Weightwatchers thick sliced wholemeal.
And I treat myself to crusty white bread at the weekend.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:24, Reply)

PMQs
"The prime minister says the government has followed the correct legal process over BSkyB "to the letter". And it is for Ofcom to decide who is a fit and proper person to run a media organisation."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Would it be weird for me to add the girl I shagged on Sunday on Facebook now? I think I've left it too long.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:14, Reply)

It's never to late for a follow up wank

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Are you accepting her friend request, or has she made no attempt to 'friend' you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:16, Reply)

No attempt.
The morning after she invited me into the shower and I wasn't really thinking, and went "yeah I'll jump in after you". I think that put a kibosh on things at her end. Not my smartest move.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Oh Barry, you and I know both know you can't fit two internet whales into one bath

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Drop her a line, see how it goes.
You've got nothing to lose.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Right, that was typed simultaneously so fuck off

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:21, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:21, Reply)

What have you got to lose?
Either she's totally rejected, forgotten all about you, or at 27 she's the right side of lonely to forgive it all and bunk up with you again.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I don't know, all the women I've met who were 27 still had a shred of dignity, hope and self-respect.
It's at 30 that they start getting proper desperate.

You'd think women wouldn't still be hung up on whether they'd made a decent marriage in this day and age.
( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:30, Reply)

What I mean is, at 27 she'll have probably had plenty of experience,
and if she's 27 and still single, she will get a bit fed up with it now and again.
He should strike then. It's the 'hopeful' bit that's the key. It makes people more willing to give things a go and trust that Barry won't be a wanker.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I don't think it's fair to call her a whore, Roota
She's probably a mostly nice person, maybe
( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)

You are Lily Allen
AICMFP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)

yous knows what I means.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:40, Reply)

or, as well
if she's into him she's into him and if she's not she's not.

I would regard the fact that she didn't point him towards his clothes and call a cab first thing in the morning as a big one the plus column for our resident coat purloiner.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Yeah, but morning after and all that.
Sometimes it takes a while for the self-loathing to kick in.
I don't mean because she slept with Barry. I mean because she got pissed and slept with someone. Sometimes people sober up all day on the Sunday and then despise themselves for it, then never want to see the other person again.
But this might not be the case and she might be desperate to see him again, and he may as well. I'm just saying her behaviour that morning means nowt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I gets ya
but it doesn't exactly mean nowt, because she at least didn't call him a cab at 7am and tell him to do one ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Sometimes you DON'T!
Sometimes it seems fine and you don;t want to call them a cab and you think they're ace. They go home thinking "Ooh she didn't kick me out at 7am." Meanwhile she's sobering up and having ten showers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:48, Reply)

you're all fucking mental.
you know that, right? Madder than a box of frogs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:50, Reply)

It's not just women, ya numpty.
You hear women complaining about that kind of 'change of heart' in men all the time. "Ooh he was lovely the next morning, went and got us breakfast and everything. Now he won't answer my calls."
So what? He changed his mind.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:57, Reply)

That's because men are lying cowardly shitweasels
it's nothing to do with changing our minds.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Oi!

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Me looking like an idiot, I suppose.
I was gonna ask her out for a drink whilst I was round hers but she didn't say owt. I'm far too much of a wimp to make the first move.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:31, Reply)

One of the many things I learned too late to be of benefit
is that women fucking love a bit of pesting.
( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:32, Reply)

You won't look like an idiot.
You'll look like a fella who fancies her.
Do you have to see her again if she says no?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Unlikely.
Oh and she's 25 not 27. It's her mate who we were with who's 27. I assumed they both were. I might add her mate to start with.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Hhahaha, steady on!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I really wouldn't.
Not unless you want to look either a) more interested in her mate or b) like a coward.

Neither, I suspect, will be attractive to her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)

you'll nick shit but you won't ask a woman out?
you've got some load more than 99 problems, mate.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Different things scare different people.
I don't thieve OR ask people out.
But I will touch men's hair at gigs.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I'm safe from you there, at least.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Not from me.
I like baldies/shaved.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Well, hello there...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:52, Reply)

I say.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Depends on the answer to jeff's question^

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)

*shakes head*
Now you're copying me on purpose.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Shut up

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:19, Reply)

good thing:
the sound that the first glass of wine from a bottle makes as it is poured.

alt: you're still a rock star ... ugh
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:15, Reply)

My old manager has just had a baby and called it....Rory
If I ever meet it I'll expect some sort of vicious internet asperges assasin
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I can smell a rubbish bin

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:23, Reply)

My life has been going pretty good lately.
Plus I have a weekend of drunken fun and silliness with a B3tan this weekend coming.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Woo!
Go Blousie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Innit!
About fecking time too.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:30, Reply)

So have you got proper good news
Or just a lack of bad news?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:32, Reply)

I don't have any news.
Just having fun and feeling good about myself.
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Good for you!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Fanku Jeff : )
Of course your help has also been instrumental at keeping me chipper : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:36, Reply)

That goes without saying, obviously.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)

"Listen up, [name], it's been 8 years. That's 8 years worth of Sunday Mornings, Christmas Days, Birthdays, Valantine's Days, and unexepcted-supprises you've got to make up for...
.... I suggest you book the next 3 months off work and start building up your facial mussels with chewing gum because this is going to be a LONG 3 months".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Naughty Gonz.

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I'd love to see someone with facial mussels.

( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Wooo!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Haha! You must gaz me info on what's happening as soon as you know.

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Vagazzled!
:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Have you got yourself some hot lovin' ?
cos, you know, you don't want it to end up all cobwebby and full of bats
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I'll have you know I keep my cave clean and free from pests.

( girlinthehole, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 12:42, Reply)