"The Internet: Like a training camp for never amounting to anything."
Thanks for that oglaf. So, what haven't you amounted to?

Alt: Mine's huge, how big is yours?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:42, 158 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

oglaf is brilliant.
I'm not a rock star. To be honest though, I don't think I'd like being on tour.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I'm attractive, intelligent, popular and rich.
And I have a beard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:50, Reply)

is it a Shipman-esque beard?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Well, he is a doctor so you never know...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

It's a beard.
I'm not sure what specific qualities of Harold Shipman's beard you mean. It's not white or bushy and it doesn't contain the excited spittle of a mass murderer.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

that's good to know
I'm undertaking beard research. It's important to know these things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Yours is nicer Vippers.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

that goes without saying

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

There are four critical rules of beards
1) if you can't grow a fucking beard then don't try. There's absolutely no dignity in neckbeards, clumps, bumfluff or gaps below your moustaches.
2) if you can grow a fucking beard then grow a fucking beard. You're a man. Leave the nancyboy gillette and pampering oils to slag-fucking golfers.
3) only trim if it merges into your eyebrows, ear or chest hair. Too much trimming and you risk turning Jeremy Beadle.
4) no fat chicks
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

some fat chicks are excellent at growing beards
the fat fucks up their hormones so they have excessive testosterone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

These are the fat chicks I was referring to.
Having said that, there's something disturbingly foxy about a fit bird with a comedy horseshoe moustache.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

so long as it's not homegrown, right?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

So long as it doesn't get all velcro with my arse pubes then I'm fine with home grown.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

what a delightful image

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

good rules all
my beard is about 5 inches long. it does have a gap between it and my sideburns though, but that's only because I have magnificent sideburns and like to show them off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I concur
Also, matching your hair colour is a plus. Full coverage is essential.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

it's an
anal beard, isn't it?

:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

My arse isn't waxed, if that's what you're asking.
Are you frightened of adult hair? Are you some sort of pædophile?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

No, but I am.
a/s/l?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Your mum. Your mum. Your mum.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Only the third of those is potentially a valid answer, young man.
(...or young lady?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

"as" "with" "up"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Very good, dad.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

no, that is not what i am asking
there is a difference between a bit of normal adult male and a full-on fucking plait-able beard.

so which is it?

if neither, bend over for crow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Get away from me, you filthy nonce.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

holy shit
i've been on here almost 8 years and i've never been called a nonce before. woo.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I'm not going to pretend to be 8 years old for anybody, you revolting perv.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

i can't actually deny the perv bit
oh well
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

yours can't be as big
as the maple and pecan chocolate topped slice i have.

you've never seen/tasted anything so fit in all your life.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Apart from your new fella obviously?

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

oh yeah
i haven't mentioned HOW HOT he is yet today.

although the prospects of him wanting to nail me stupid on sat night are grossly diminished by the size of the maple and pecan chocolate slab i have just consumed.

damn you coco di mama.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Not improved at all by the thought of the size of the manpole and pork-an slab he'll make you consume?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

he better had do
that is all!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

don't bring him up
it was only a matter of time until she did it herself...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I for one am pleased for her.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

that is because you are lovely
whereas vipros is just nervous about having the smug crown of smugness wrenched untimely from his smug paws.

did i ever mention that the sex is UNBELIEVABLE?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I read that as "that's because you are lonely".
And thought well that's a nice reply to someone being happy for you.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

unbelievable in that you are having it?
and that he'll do it with the lights on?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Ooof!

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Oh zing.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

ha
i'm not the one who is dumb enough to be getting married and therefore reducing it from 3 times a night to 3 times a year!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

yeah, finding someone with whom you are amazingly compatible in every way to spend the rest of your life with is really fucking dumb.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

She can't be that compatible, she doesn't have a beard.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

i'm just saying if you're going to talk about never getting laid and only doing it in the dark
marriage is not the way to pep up your sex life. jeeeeez, no need to get all defensive, darling. i'm sure you will be the 1 in 3 that doesn't end in a savage bloody divorce and you living in a cold rented apartment only visiting the kids and surfboard once a week...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

my sex life wasn't in question
and that wasn't defensive. Not from where I'm sat anyway.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

you can kiss goodbye to it once you get married though
the statistics speak for themselves.

still, if i'm ever in devon, i'll give you a cheeky suck to cheer you up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

the difference is
we're not intending to have kids, so there will be less stress, less tiredness etc.

bear in mind also that while I'm married to my wife you will either also be married, or be the increasingly aged one trying to pull either the young blokes or the ones your age who will generally be the losers who are too freaky to attract someone for long.

Enjoy!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

no man ever intends to have kids
it just happens to him.

when you've been married a while and have forgotten what anything spontaneous feels like - which is the stage before the arguing increases and you realise that actually having a lot in common just means no more surprises in your life ever and then you appreciate that you are so bored of hearing the same voice and seeing the same face except now it is more wrinkled and surrounded by greyer hair and listening to the same stories about where the other person works and the problems they are facing with their day, which haven't changed since last week or the week before or the week before that - just remember that you were once offered a cheeky suck.

it'll cheer you up when you are having your weekly wank in the shower so that it washes clean quickly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I'll take my chances
she's younger than you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

oh god, the provinces
age has less than nothing to do with appearance if one has a decent salon and a decent face cream, darling. esp not an age gap of about 2 years!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)

sounds like you've been having to resort to that for a while though
a salon and face cream can only do so much....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:38, Reply)

staying out of salty water, sun and wind helps enormously too
as does not having kids. all my friends with kids look about 10 years older than those of us who don't.

i got ID'd at an over 25 bar the other night, thank you very much!

edit - also, fat is enormously effective at pushing out wrinkles :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)

I suspect that living in London isn't good for the skin either
might want to consider that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Smoking NFTW!
Both my sisters are younger than me by at the most 4 years and everyone thinks I'm the youngest.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)

i don't see how it can be a bad thing
you never see sunlight for a start!

for your lungs, maybe.

bgb is totally right, smoking wrecks your skin. doesn't show til you're about 35, though, and the elasticity suddenly dries up overnight.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

good point.
I'm not too concerned about the elasticity of my skin. Most of it is covered in hair anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Yeah you bloody idiot.
Everytime I find someone I'm very compatible with I like to insult them and systematically push them away.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I just did my Beavis and Butthead laugh.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

So, Swipey swallows eh?
How else could she bring him up?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

depends on the bloke
if it tastes nice, i happily swallow.

if it tastes like shit, esp if he smokes, i will NOT. the problem is, you never know how it's going to taste with a new guy until it's too late.

edit - in the case of one rather embarrassing incident a few months ago, far far too late :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Pleased I had no coffee.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

i hate coffee
but still wish i'd had some then. would have improved the taste no end.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

there's a joke in there about the "no end/blowjob" thing, but damned if I can figure out what it is

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

if i were drunk i'd tell you who it was
you'd be very surprised.

but i'm sober, as i'm at work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I doubt I'd be surprised
as I've never thought about how other men's jizz tastes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

that i would know how this particular individual's jizz tasted
was the element of the surprise. not the taste itself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

duh

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I dunno
once it's in there, it's in there. You may as well just swallow, it's much more dignified than spitting, no matter the taste.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

in theory i agree
in practice, sometimes...... well, this one time, at band camp.... NO.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I have been subject to instances like that
but worked on the basis that I'd be really offended if someone went down on me and said I smelled, so I just MTFU'd and swallowed. If you get the timing right you don't really taste it anyway, and it's always been the texture that bothered me more.

PS - I got your text, I'm just pants at replying. Glad you liked it, and no, thank you.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:21, Reply)

you have exactly the right attitude there young berk
you should be praised from the hilltops
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

i wholeheartedly agree
but i do maintain that this was unprecedented. like salty sour milk, it was.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

gross

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:33, Reply)

i rest my case!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Cherry lube ftw.
Everything taste of cherry for hours afterwards.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

There's a tropical one I've used that's nice
the cherry one is very synthetic tasting. Not that this comes as a surprise in any way, of course.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

i was naive enough to try candy floss flavoured lube once
i thought i was going to be sick on the spot. nothing says "hot" like my white arse waddling to the bathroom to rinse my mouth out a million times.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Bleurgh!

(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I am not the man my mother was.
Alt: It's compact and bijou thanks.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

My teachers were right.
Really though, mine is absolutely huge.
You could probably see it from your window if it faces this way.
I would get rid of it but it's in a really hard to reach place.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Your fat arse?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Close.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Your fucking fat arse?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Nearly.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Your fucking big fat hairy arse with stinky piles peering out of your prolapsed ringpiece

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Oh alright.
No, it's a huge globulous pustule created by an ingrowing hair at the top of my sweaty bumcrack.
Very uncomfortable and particularly resistant to investigative prodding.
I'll wait until the water comes back on and squeeze the bugger out in a nice hot shower.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

You should get it checked by the doctor
and get it properly removed. Not at Stepping Hill, though. I had mine done there and it was a nightmare. And there seems to be something weird going on with the saline solution as well.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

See if you can get it into focus for your next series of bumhole shots

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Will it improve the fiscal return?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

hello rory

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Alright rachel
swipe
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

bit too much work to do
and i ate too much lunch so i feel v sluggish. but otherwise can't complain, so i won't.

any gossip?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Well I'm not really one for gossip
however I was somewhat shocked that Comrade Quixote has now developed strong feelings for a rent boy taking up his couch who he had been using as a fuck buddy. He's only fifteen, but he keeps him quiet by plying him with Glens Vodka and meow meow.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

christ is that where freefair ended up?
it was a matter of time. they're like the john and sally bercow of OT, with their left and right views interchanging.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Nah, freefairs street legal, Comrade Quixote can only get a cheesy hard on if there's a frisson of illegality

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

a cheesy hard-on?
like a giant wotsit?

lovely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Well it gets worse, he posted this morning that he was planning on hanging around a school this afternoon
:(
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

his wotsit brings all the boys to the yard

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Still not a doctor.
Still not making any appreciable money from my music.
Still not employed.
That oglaf chap has a point.

Alt: Hard to tell, it's kind of amorphous
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Still
so many stills... poor chap.

At least you're nearly done with the doctor thing, aren't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

So many stills
And not the good sort of stills, either!

Erm...and, yeah, was hoping to finish by the end of August. It's going to run into September, I can see it now, but I'm going to aim for August.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

You aim for August
If you aim for September you'll probably end up in October.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

This is very true
(Especially since, if I end up in October, they might just boot me out without any qualification to show for the last four years...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

That be so cruel!
Don't worry. You'll have it done in August. How much more you have to do?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I managed to get some writing done last week
So I've got another chapter taking shape, and another one that my supervisor has already read an early draft of. So that's two half-finished chapters out of...six? Fucksocks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Dr Crap

( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Haha, pretty much, yep.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)

*sighs*
Come on, man...where's the drive? The ambition?
Stop lounging around in your pants watching Jeremy Kyle and do some writing.
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)

You assume I'm wearing pants...
I'm actually in the office today. Another optimistic bash at my data is just an alt-tab away...I just can't summon the motivation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I empathise, I really do. I am dragging myself kicking and screaming to next week's deadline.
But now's the time, Crowsy, now's the time.
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I'm glad it's not just numpties like me who had trouble with buckling down at their thesis.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I am a lazy bag.
Actually the thesis bit is done - I'm just doing the project part now.
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

They can't.
I mean, they can boot you out and refuse support, but academically you are allowed 10 years start to finish to complete a Fud.

I'd not recommend going over 4 but you won't fail for it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)

That's worth knowing, actually
I've been told various different things about how strict the 4-year deadline is, although I do know a guy who has cleared off and started a job elsewhere with a nearly-finished thesis who must, technically, be in his sixth, possibly seventh year now.

Though obviously, it would be kind of embarrassing if mine took that long. I intend to keep to four.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)

what might happen - absolute worst case - is if you criminally piss people off
they will refuse to support your submission, find you an external, internal etc and you'd have to do all that yourself. But the 4 year thing is almost always an internal policy, usually to do with RC funding. RCs consider a PhD a fail if not submitted within 4 years, and too many "technical fails" like that on RC money, and the RC cuts the Uni's funding.

Short answer - don't do it, but if you do, it's not an irredemable loss.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I sent Lampers a link to give to you
but since you're on here I'll gaz it to you myself.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Anything
Alt: After this cheese toastie considerably bigger
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

try a massive bucket of pasta
smothered in pesto and parmesan. and then a maple/pecan slice.

i hate myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Sadly I can top that
which disgusts me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

*imagines Amberl on top of a massive bucket of pasta*
Mmmm...
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

not sure about the pesto though...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

That's because you're wrong. Again.

( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I'll live

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

:(

( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

you're a charmer

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Don't think of it clendrix
that would contain more than a yearly allowance of fat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)

*has heart attack*
*dies happy*
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

^ this ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Anything
Alt: My what?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I can't make my tomatoes and peppers and beans
give any tomatoes, peppers or beans. They give tons of flowers that then die without bothering to frutify first. What am I doing wrong?

Alt: They are really big. Specially the beans.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060629145908AAsGg5y
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Thank you
it hurts my eyes some of the spelling there, but I'll see if I can get them to give fruit.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I ought to be a Nobel prize winning uberscientist
I couldn't even persuade anyone to let me do a PhD.

Small-to-medium, ideally getting smaller.
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Alt: my stupidity knows no bounds.
I had to pay for my sarnie with coins from the bottom of my bag, and when I got back, my purse was sitting on my desk, mocking me. I am so hungry but I can't be arsed to go out again whine whinge wail.

Main- I am a talentless drip. But I'm happy, so...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You've found gainful employment
So technically you're doing better than me so far.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)

i told her she could do better than you too!!!
[sorry. could not resist]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I'm sure she could, but it's in my best interests that she never realise this...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I thought being at home
would make me lose weight. But because I'm alone in the house I just eat constantly
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)

you could, you know, not eat constantly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Pfft what kind of answer is that
There's just so much more soup here
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Weston super mare trip now on calender hon.
Get tha name down lass.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)

bleurgh Weston
the sea defences are nice though. You will enjoy the arch and the fibonacci spiral seating I am sure.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)

We're going for the pier and the fish and chips.
And B3th mainly.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

at least you have some good reasons
it really is a shit place though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)

i've only been once
i have to say, absolutely no offence to b3th, but i thought the town centre was at best depressing. someone should nuke it really.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)

you were not wrong at all.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)

no, you and i know this
i was just trying to be polite.

it made me want to kill myself. and i went to school in STOCKPORT ffs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Stockport?
You poor cow. Outside of Milton Keynes, Nottingham and the Outer Hebrides, that has to be one of the most boring places in the UK.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Actually, I'm doing ok so far.
Although I will admit to getting the slight horn at reading some of the above posts.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Porkylip's pustules will do that to you.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

was it the talk about swallowing?
or the description of it as salty sour warm milk?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I think it's best if I say no more.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

i think you should say a lot more
a LOT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Nah, staying quiet on this one.
I can write some toe-curlingly bad b3ta fanfic, say about Darth and AA, if you like?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)

That genuinely made me do a little retch
I've had bad, but never that bad!
(berk, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'm told pineapple juice can do wonders for a person.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 20 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)