MORIBUND.
/OT is moribund. Convince me I am wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:47, 95 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I think dead is stretching it a bit.
It's definitely had a stroke though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Not so long as new posters are welcomed with open arms. providing a continuous influx of new ideas, opinions and anecdotes
Oh wait.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

People seem to have calmed down on that ludicrous front of late,
we have quite a few new posters lately, some of whom are real people.

I encourage all lurkers to stop being benders and join in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Yeah, OT has no choice
that's the only reason the new guys aren't treated so badly nowadays.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Plus even the thickest mongol would tire of accusing all newcomers of being Bert eventually. Surely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Surely
It's not funny anymore. Not that it was funny before, either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Or did you mean
that it bears a strong resemblance to Koldbrann's 2006 album of that name?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I know not of any '2006 albums' by anyone,
let alone one of your shit Midlands bands that you've just made up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

They're Scandinavian
so I imagine it's black metal.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

What like 'Living Color'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

or ABBA

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Depends who you ask
We have on and off days on here, but to say it's at the point of death seems to be going a little far.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I don't know about OT
I'm feeling pretty dead today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Did you go to Borough Market?
I stayed in and salsa danced round the house whilst eating paella.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Not a bad plan!
No, I didn't. Went shopping on Oxford Street and then to Crow's birthday. We ate at Masala zone in Soho. Fantastic indian food at very good prices.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Yeah I couldn't be bothered in the end.
Although I did actually have tapas at a place in Blackheath with my old man.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

The expensive one?
I'm going to Spain on Thursday, so I should have proper tapas for the right price soon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Bring me back some black pudding, please.
Thanks in advance.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

in spicy tomato sauce

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Sweet or salty?
Rice or onion?
For cooking stocks or for bbq?

There are so many types...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Really? I have an erection now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Nah just one local to my dad.
I prefer the smaller, quieter places. Family run and they like us cos we look the same as them. Aka slightly tanned with huge eyebrows that look like someone's just got a thick permanent marker and drawn them on.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Oh, that's almost racist!
I haven't got thick eyebrows! English people almost don't have eyebrows at all!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

That's because we have CANCER you unfeeling BITCH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Good people are leaving
nobody good is joining. It's going through the internet equivalent of the greying population phenomenon.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That's not quite fair.
There was that ACE new character 'FuckOffBert' last week - wasn't there...KRONEY?

*stares intently*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

God, give me a bit of credit.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

yeah
kroney would have been "fuckmebert"

or "fuckmebertPLEASE"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'm SO glad you're back.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

you know i'm right

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Earn it, cunt-face.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

You mean my mostly dull but occasionally almost funny posts
haven't done so already?
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

They have really. I'm just being mean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

It was b3th wasn't it?
Proving what I'd always thought.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I think her saying "it's me"
may have been about a different question.

Unless I missed something
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

We need to start reproducing between us
to get more new blood!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

*unzips*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

You're late for me
we'll have to find you another willing female. Any takers?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

DF.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

None on here, I expect.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

DF.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

No actual females on here, I expect.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

DF might be willing
but he can't do the reproduction thing, you know? Do I have to explain you about the bees and the flowers now?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

You asked 'any takers?'
I was replying solely to that bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

We were talking about reproduction
Keep up.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

i am typing this topless
i am not typing this topless

choose whichever would convince you more that you are wrong
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I know you're trying to help here,
but distracting me from the dismal turnout on the internet, through the medium of bosom (wondrous as they doubtless are), does little to address the deep-seated concerns I have regarding /OT, and the moribund nature thereof.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

well....
.... it'll be lunchtime soon?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Huzzah!
Nommy nom nom.

*kills self*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

well now it is 137 times poorer :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Awwww...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Oh you should watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks on iPlayer
Terry Wogan bangs on about hating Bowie.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I really enjoyed that one.
Also the one with Jack Dee the other week.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I shall indeed.
Wogers clearly has excellent taste - apart from dismal knobcheese (but would, despite a minor bum-chin) Katie Melua.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I think she's hot as fuck
and don't even mind her music.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

She's very attractive
but her banal bleating would annoy me very quickly leading either to a sound-proofed room or a murder charge.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Even if said bleating came in the form of
"Oh Kroney...oh YES...don't stop, oh Kroney...oh Kroney...oh....is...is that dildo...melting? Oh christ the SMELL. What the fuck is that?"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Weeeell....
No, sorry, even then.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I thought you were breaking into a cover of raspy-throated Jocko Lulu’s version of the r’n’b classic ‘Shout’ for a second.


Child that I am, I'd love to hear a cover of that in a strong Norn Oirish accent. 'SHITE!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

"Yer merk me wanna shite"

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Seriously, that one about bicycles was desperately poor.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

True, but I quite liked that when some astrology prick said
Achhhtually we do know the size of the universe I think you'll find. She rerecorded a version with the much better lyrics en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Million_Bicycles#Alternative_version
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I find that a little embarrassing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

That's what she said.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

"More accurate" does not necessarily equate to "much better."

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I know, you'd have expected better from the man that gave the world such classics as
"Remember You're A Womble."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

He's a fucking turd.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I had to play some of the stuff he wrote for Melua at a function gig, years ago.
It is possibly the most toe-curlingly awful cod-jazz I've ever seen a chord chart for. I was embarrassed to be in the same room as the lyric to "My Aphrodisiac Is You."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Dear God, what a wanker.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

"That's a fact"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Do you know roughly how far in he slags him off?
I can't be arsed watching all of that show it's rubbish now Amstell and Bailey have left.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Oh sorry being a student taking up so much time you can't watch 28 minutes of television?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I do not believe in wasting my time watching rubbish television shows.
If there's a possibility I can pinpoint the one, short segment I want to view.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Conversely it's all go at work.
There's a harrassing ex-girlfriend bothering one of our people. We've been told to block the address but she's managed to harrass him without once triggering the email filters, which means I can't see what's being said :( gutted.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Of course you can
Its just "slightly" illegal
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I draw the line at openly rifling through somebody's mailbox.
Damn my rigid code of ethics :(
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Unlike their septic tank, eh?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

No.
Effort.

Is this the problem?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Meh
Nothing is as good as it used to be. We should get Stuart Maconie et al to do some talking heads for a nostalgia show about what /ot used to be like "back in the day".
Actually I think we are long overdue for someone to go nuts, have a major breakdown on here and start flinging their faeces around.
Failing that, bring back Bert.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Peter Kaye's your man for nostalgia.
He's really good at remembering things, according to Rufus Hound.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Reeves & Mortimer's pisstake of him was inspired.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

He doesn't seem to be well respected in comedic circles, does he?

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

If he'd have died after series two of Phoenix Nights I would regard him as a genius.
It's clear from his later stuff and execrable Cannon-and-Ball style standup that he desperately need the darker edge that 'Ray Von' and 'Jerreh' must have contributed. Phoenix Nights is genuinely hilarious, though, in my opinion, and stands up to repeated viewing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

If you like your folk music with just a hint of racism....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Thank Dave Spikey for that, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

He is an unfunny cunt of the highest order.
I have seen his stand up a couple of times and he died on his arse.

Seems the co-writing team for Phoenix Nights functioned well together though.

Bit like STAY-SHUN out of the second Bill & Ted.

'Member Bill & Ted?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Help him out then
www.listopia.co.uk/list.php?list=630
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Some of those are excellent.
'You know when you're strangling kittens, and they strain to look up at you like, and you can see the last fragile wisp of mortality as their eyes turn into twin black pinpricks that echo the emptiness in your soul? No? ...er....Cheesecake?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I think we need some good questions/topics
There hasn't been a decent one for a while now, or just a daft one to encourage quicker posts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I'm back, at any rate.
Ish.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

HURRAH!
How was your trip, please don't punch me.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Hurrah!
Good hol?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Nostalgia isn't as good as it used to be
either
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)