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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Oh man, I just applied to go on MasterChef !Oh wow, I doubt I'll get on or anything, but oh man, I might be able to do good on it if I do, maybe, I donno. I'll see.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:45,
173 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
As long as they don't mark you on spelling, you should be alright.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:47,
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I hope so, there were a few squggly red lines, hopefully they'll overlook that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:03,
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mate.... if there were squiggly red lines, why not just click on them and change them?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:15,
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Because the awnsers wern't right, I need someone to make a spellcheck based on google, it would be so much better, because google's algorythams are made using common mistakes.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:10,
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I think you'll do AMAZING.And I don't even know what masterchef is
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:49,
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If you get on itpromise me that you'll kick that loud-mouthed greengrocer squarely in the knackers, ok?
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)
I was just about to post something similar.Isn't the only reason he presents it the fact that he once sold vegetables?
What a gimp.
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)
When the new format first startedhe was labelled as an 'ingredients expert'
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:53,
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In the same way that Giles Brandreth was a "words specialist", presumably(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)
he walked past my local pub last week, the walked back the other wayMORE BUDGET CELEBRITY SPOTTING AS IT HAPPENS
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:59,
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In the middle of the street the brazen bender!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:02,
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You know that smarmy Australian one?He's one of my guilty crushes. I don't even know why.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:53,
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I'm indifferent to Greg, but everyone I know HATES him.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:04,
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Are you going to make a buttery biscuit base?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:52,
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"The butteryness of the butter, the biscuityness of the biscuit....now THAT is a base"
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)
That video is nothing short of geniusI'm going to stop listening to Aesthetic Perfection (I know, right?!) for a moment to watch it
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
It's in the midweek charts at number 40.Hoping it'll get higher.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:01,
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Yepwww.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chart/update/singles
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:08,
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I think the fact that Cher Lloyd is currently at No 1is proof, should proof be needed, that the charts are no accurate reflection of quality.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:17,
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the charts have never been an indication of quality, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:21,
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There was a week in 1998 when Offspring were number one and Terrorvision number twoApart from that, you are correct
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:23, Reply)
haha. nice.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:32,
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Only if you play your cards right(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:04,
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Whatever you do don't cook Alphabetti Spaghetti(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:54,
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In the wrong hands it could spell disasterHow I wish this joke was my own
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Didn't one of us put that on facebook the other day?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:58,
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I might for a lawl make my own one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:04,
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My brother-in-law was on it in the Loyd Grossman days.He did pretty well, and a recipe of his went into the MaSterchef cookbook.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:59,
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This is a bit old but everyone should watch this cat videowww.youtube.com/watch?v=WxGS-2M6_5I&feature=youtu.be
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
I think I'm going to do interviews with a load of my friends and then send the video to showtime or something to get a reality showit'd be well juicy, the lesbians are dramatastic
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:02,
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Episode 1: Krizzabelle is murdered to death by her bezzie!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:03,
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murdered to deathI like it
I've went with chomp's advice and asked if she's planning to shoot me
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:08,
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Start with your friend tonight.If she kills you, at least it will be on tape.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:03,
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oh youshe's not even in the group!
but for reals, I could make hella ton of money off this shit for real, even if it's only involving 2 people, because they are CRAZY
neither are the bestie, btw
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:06,
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damnitI was telling you ages ago that you should do something like that!
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:35,
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I knew it was someone from here! But the idea was cemented because of a massive blowout between a couple people the other nightover Rx drugs and calling someone an addict and I was like UGH we should so do it
I'll give you credit and .05% of profits
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:45,
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that's fineI just want recognition
and profits
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:49,
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Best of luck with the applicationI just got a strange email. I used to do a lot of creative writing back when the internet was a lot younger, and someone emailed me to let me know that they'd spotted one of my stories being discussed in a book about the internet and creative writing.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:06,
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I did thanksshe's just got to validate it now. Got an extra one as well.
I'm not going to read the book or seek it out, because from what I remember my writing was really really shit, and I don't want to see it ripped apart
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:09,
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I was talking to friend on fb about itand ended up getting an account myself.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:13,
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If you do, don't go there with any aspirationsjust enjoy yourself. Cooking under pressure is incredibly hard so just have fun.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:14,
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Make sure what you cook has 'flavours'.The vapid halfwits who present it do like their 'flavours'.
Talk about a pointless observation. Yes, thanks for that, you enjoy the flavour the food. Thanks.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:18,
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I don't doubt they sound like pretentious fuckchiselsbut underneath they do both have a pretty solid idea what they are talking about. Even greengrocer boy.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:20,
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it's foodnot rocket science. either it tastes good or it tastes shit!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:22,
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no, not really.ultimately, yes, but it's how you arrive at that point. It's spotting potential in something that doesn't taste perfect but with a tiny change could be epic. It's really knowing what flavours go together and therefore what a dish is missing. That sort of shit.
Saying food is simple because it either tastes good or it doesn't is like saying lawyering is easy because you either win or you don't.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:28,
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"you argue so much, you should be a lawyer""you put a bunch of spices on this, you should be a chef"
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:29,
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Well said, K to the Izzle.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:31,
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I have to say I don't agree, here.Well-composed food is an art as complex and impressive as any I know of.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:40,
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she's a vegetarianand therefore clearly is missing something in the understanding of food.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:43,
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This, too.A vegetarian has as much right to comment on cuisine as a teetotaler has to comment on wine.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:45,
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exactlytwo of the most delicious things I've eaten have been raw steak with a raw egg, and the liver of a tortured goose.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:46,
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Argentinian black pudding remains for me one of the most fantastic things I have ever eaten.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:47,
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I need to get me some of thatand a black pudding scotch egg.
I also need to get round to making scotch onions.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:48,
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I could feasibly buy and post you a black pudding scotch egg.the fellow famous for them sells them 100 yards from my front door each Saturday.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:49,
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that would be totally awesome(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:50,
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I shall try to remember to do this.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:01,
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I made my own scotch eggs the other week for a picnica bit of an effort but oh fucking my were they good.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:49,
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out of interest, how did you go about the sausagemeat?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:51,
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skinned some sausages from my local butchersadded some herbs, rolled it out flat and then folded it around the eggs. breadcrumbs and deep fry. Sorted.
The deep frying bit is the challenge cos I don't have a deep-fat fryer and the temperature needs to be spot on as you have to cook them for a fair while.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:53,
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My mother used to make CHEESE EGGS.Swap breadcrumbs for cheese = the tastiest shortcut to coronary avenue known to man.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:54,
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fuck me sidewayshow do you deep fry the buggers without the cheese all melting and coming off? she must have been some kind of culinary witch.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:56,
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check these buggers outwww.masterchef.com.au/prawn-scotch-eggs-with-a-coconut-chilli-sambal.htm
I watched the guy make them and was drooling on my tv
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:57,
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I know not her arcane ways.They were incredible, though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:01,
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It was mainly the source of the meatbut you did it how I would have.
I'll have to give that a try at some point.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:55,
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I managed to hard and soft boil some eggs at the weekendie they were solid enough to sit in a salad, but when cut open were unctious and delicous
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:55,
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I like to do thatbasically a poached egg though innit
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:56,
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yeah, that's why I like to do it :-)(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:57,
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No, I disagree. Let's say you like scultures and oil paintings and graphetti art.... just because one person only likes the oil paintings, it doesn't mean to say she can't like art, she just likes a very limited section of it.Or maybe more like she doesn't like the colour blue, following this annology.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:14,
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Actually they have try harder to make their food not dull.The days of brown, depressing heavy old shit like Cranks used to sell are long gone.
That said, to deny oneself the majesty of meat - which cannot be rivalled by any nice stuffed pepper or quinoa salad - is the act of a lunatic.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:46,
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needless to say, i don't eitherbut i thought it might provoke some impassioned defence.
however, what i will say is that often the very fancy stuff does not taste as good as the plainer stuff, however pretty it looks. and the portions are too small. i'll take langans over the oxo tower any day.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:49,
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people worrying about presentation over content, agreedthat is arse.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:50,
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Whilst this is undoubtedly correctI have to say that the visual aspect of food is more important than I used to think it was.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:53,
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This is because you're slowly turning into a terrible bender.(
Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:55,
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it isbut not over content. As well as content, for sure.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:56,
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I'd love to see someone go proper mental on themjust waving a large parsnip under his nose, screaming "What's that, Grocer Jack, eh? What the fuck do call that????"
then running around the kitchen with his trousers at half mast and a lazy lob on, parsnip in one hand, cock in the other, babbling about special sauces.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:24,
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Well, I for one could cut glass right now.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:28,
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Occasionally I drop to a state of semi.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:37,
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That fat poof just says whatever John Torode’s just said. When he has to speak first he doesn’t commit too much.Plus just give him a pudding covered in cream and chocolate and his tubby, sweaty face lights up.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:34,
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this is why masterchef australia is much better.also, some of the women are quite fit.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:36,
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MTV Classic is playing the hits of 91I'm having a Lower Sixth flashback.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:38,
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Oh God what a dismal pile of wank that was. The chap was a reet fatty bum-bum as well.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:41,
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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!Just switched back after a break, and it was that unremitting pile of shiute by Bryan Adams. I know that doesn't narrow it down, but I think you all know the one i mean.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:50,
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Not in '91 mateI think b3th has just been subjected to the horrors of Everything I Do (I Do It For You), perennial chart-topper thanks to the patronage of American-accented Nottingham-based gentryman-turned-outlaw Robin of Locksley
(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:55, Reply)
The only good thing about either the film or the video to *that* songis being able to drool over Alan Rickman.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:56,
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This is the best use of those three words since The Rickman Original(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:59, Reply)
And had a massive stroke a few years ago.Pay attention, kids. Being fat AND annoying musically ends badly, mmmmkay?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:44,
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pretty glad I'm not fat any more then(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:46,
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he said "I'm a tone-deaf, blind spastic"(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:48,
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not reallylook who was saying it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:50,
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TIP:If you're a fat cunt don't have a food-based band name.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:48,
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the fact that he seems proud of his grotesque corpulence makes it worse.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:49,
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he's no longer fatstill a shithead from a crap band though
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:52,
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One of my daughter's favourite songs is Special Brew by them.This is worrying.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:02,
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I wouldn't worry about that, how old is she, 3?She's only just learned how not to piss herself.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:03,
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She learnt that almost a year ago.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:04,
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Must be her mother's genes, if she had inherited this skill from youshe'd be explosively shitting in alleyways by now.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:06,
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what use would a bag full of runny shit be to him?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:08,
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very good point(is what he could achieve with the appropriate mould)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:16,
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I've stopped doing that now.I have to be careful around Monty's daughter after that meat lolly debacle.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:09,
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Bin cupboards of tower blocks, please.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:09,
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The exact opposite of her fatherI'M SAYING THAT YOU URINATE ON YOURSELF DUE TO AGE RELATED INCONTINENCE
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:04,
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she's beaten her dad by a good 40 years(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:04,
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it's worryingwhen I met Amberl we said the same thing at the same time on at least a couple of occasions. I think my mrs was concerned.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:08,
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who would've thought?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:52,
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Girl all teh bad guys wantHigh school never ends.
So there.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:54,
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it's succeeded(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:58,
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Oh fucking hell is that them?They're like Busted but with a thyroid problem.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:56,
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So you've been slagging them offwithout any idea who they are? AWESOME
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:58,
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You're allowed to have shit taste, though. You're a girl.We're all just glad you don't listen to cardboard cut-out R&B like other women. It's a start. A flicker of hope.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:57,
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I think it's universally acknowledged that I have shit taste in musicand friends.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:59,
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It is a fact universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a CD playermust be in need of a good, hard kick in the ear drums.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:12,
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I've seen them live twice, they're fucking superb.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:52,
Reply)
Sorry mate, we're not going to agree on this one(, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:53, Reply)
I say card, I mean 'cloth-eared spastic'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:57,
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The Magic Numbers must be shitting bricks.BECAUSE THEY'RE FAT!!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:48,
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A lot changed in music that yearAll ushered in on a Wind Of Change.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 16:41,
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Oh man, I'm really not well, I've just come back from asda and it's taken so much out of me that I feel a bit ill.BUT, but, tonight I'm going to do two poisons (tiny chicken thing, £2 each !), so I'm going to put on them a bit of mild curry powder and paprika and coryanda and garlic and chili and ginger and tomarto paste and gramar masalra.... then cook it on a bed of ovens and lemon......and serve one of them tonight with couscous with toasted pine nuts and raisons.
And then tomorow for lunch at work, I'll have the exact same thing, but I'll rip up the meat off the poison so I can eat it like a salad.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:23,
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And I've got some grapefruit so I can put grapefruit segments in there too.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:23,
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And I'm going to cut notches into the little chicken things too, so they're like OH FUCK YEAH, FLAVOURING CRUSTY STUFF ON THE INSIDE.Ohhh, and some sour cream into the paste so I get lovely chard bits.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:28,
Reply)
poisons is probably not a great idea.I'd try poussins.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:28,
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